Cowgirl, Say Yes

by Brenda Mott

  “I did say that, honey,” he went on. “And you can talk to me if you want to. But…well, wouldn’t you feel more comfortable discussing this with another girl? I mean, with a woman?” He gestured, groping for reason. “Maybe you could ask Tess about it.” And maybe he was a total jerk, pushing off a talk of tampons and sanitary pads and what to do for cramps on a woman who was merely an acquaintance and Macy’s 4-H leader.

  A woman he’d almost kissed.

  But to his surprise, Macy brightened. “I’d love to talk to Tess about it, if you’re sure that’s okay with you.” She laid a hand on his knee. “I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”

  Relief filled him, and he let his shoulders sag briefly. “It’s fine with me, honey.” Guilt gripped him once more. “That is, if you’re certain you’re comfortable with that idea. I mean, we don’t really know her all that well. Not really.”

  Again, Macy looked puzzled. “I think I know her well enough.”

  “Well, okay then.”

  Macy rose to her feet. “Can I call her about it right away?”

  “Call her? On the phone?”

  “Ye-ah.” She drew the word out in two syllables, looking at him as though he’d lost his mind. Which he had.

  “Are you sure it’s not something you’d rather discuss with her in person?”

  “Well, that would be a lot more fun,” Macy said, her forehead creasing as though the thought hadn’t occurred to her until now.

  Fun?

  “But I’m sort of in a hurry,” she added.

  “Oh.” Good gosh, was it that urgent? Never mind Tess. He’d drive his daughter to the store, or go for her. He’d meant to buy something ahead of time; only, he hadn’t thought “ahead of time” would come this quickly, and the prospect of picking out tampons…

  Wade shuddered.

  “I could drive you to the store,” he said, feeling his face warm. He hoped she wouldn’t want him to go in with her. Would she know what to choose? Hell, come to think of it, he wouldn’t have a clue anyway. “To, uh, get what you need.”

  Macy smiled. “That’s really nice, Dad, but it would be a lot better if I talked to Tess first.”

  Again, he inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But I will go with you if you change your mind.” He wanted to be a good father. No matter what that called for. He reached for his wallet. “Hold up a minute, honey.” He pulled out a twenty and handed it to her. “Is that enough?”

  She frowned at the money. “Enough for what?”

  “Well, I mean, if Tess ends up taking you to the store instead of me, is that enough?”

  Macy took the crisp bill. “I’m sure it is. I’ll bring you back your change.”

  “No worries,” he said. “Get whatever you need.”

  “Gee, thanks, Dad,” she said. “I can’t wait to tell Becky.”

  “Becky?” He knew who she was—Macy’s new classmate whose mother had recently married Zach Vega. Yes, he supposed his daughter would want to talk to her friend about this sort of thing. Women were like that, and they had to start at some point.

  “Yeah. She told me you’d never let me wear makeup yet. At least not until middle school started, and even then she figured you’d say no, because that’s what her dad said.”

  “Makeup?” Wade tried not to let his mouth fall open.

  “Yeah. You know…mascara, eye shadow, lipstick.” Macy frowned as she stuffed the twenty in the pocket of her jeans. “What did you think I was talking about?”

  The lead Frisbee was back. “Nothing.” He forced a smile and snapped the pearl fasteners on his shirt-sleeves. “Just, you know. Lipstick and all that.” He gestured, then scratched the back of his head. Actually, he hadn’t planned on letting her wear makeup quite yet. But what on earth could he possibly say now?

  Oh, brother.

  “Thanks again, Dad,” Macy said.

  “Uh, Macy.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Try to stick with something tame, will you? No ruby-slipper-red or anything, huh?”

  She grinned. “Don’t worry.”

  “Sure.” He waved as she left the room. “No worries.”

  Lipstick.

  Good grief.

  And here he’d been rattled over tampons.

  TESS HADN’T WORN her hair down, without a hat, in so long it felt strange. Self-consciously, she flipped a strand of it over her shoulder and met Wade’s eyes as he entered the room. He looked at her as though he’d never seen red hair before, and for a minute, the charcoal-gray dress slacks belted at her waist, coupled with a ruffled, mint-green Western blouse, left her longing for her familiar bib overalls. Then she watched the expression in Wade’s eyes go from surprise, to pleasure, to longing, and she decided that his look was well worth discarding her bibs for a day.

  It had been a while since a man had stared at her that way—like a sweet piece of candy he couldn’t wait to taste—and she hadn’t realized until now how much she’d missed it. Dating had been difficult at best when Tess was in high school, given her feelings about bringing a boy home. Her priorities had lain in taking care of her mother and keeping up with homework and household and ranch chores. Somehow, the pattern had continued after graduation.

  Time moved on, with her not making much for seeing men. She had gotten to the point where she simply didn’t care about men one way or the other. Yet she recalled the days when she had taken more care with her appearance—when she’d made the mistake of letting a cowboy get into her head and her heart. She’d dropped her guard and gotten involved with Lorenzo Juarez, who’d worked on her father’s ranch.

  He’d taught her a lesson she’d never forgotten, and when he left town after taking her virginity and breaking her heart, Tess quickly discovered that hiding beneath a John Deere cap and a pair of bib overalls was a great way to fade from view. She’d focused on other things, and soon Lorenzo was barely a memory. Her mom, her horse sanctuary and now her 4-H kids filled Tess’s every need.

  Still, she’d chosen to dress up for her party tonight, makeup included, and it felt both right and good. Wade was enough to make her forget all things negative. Enough to leave her glad she’d reapplied her lipstick moments ago.

  A pleasant feeling curled through her stomach as Tess set a platter of hors d’oeuvres on the buffet table. With trembling fingers, she reached for a toothpick-speared olive sandwiched between two cubes of cheese, simply to give her hands something more to do. Lately, she seemed to lose her mind around Wade, not to mention her control. She hoped he hadn’t noticed.

  Smiling as he approached, Tess swiveled the toothpick between thumb and forefinger. “What’s the matter, cattleman? You look like you’ve seen the second coming of Slim Pickens.”

  He cocked his head and grinned. “Ain’t nothin’ slim about these pickins, darlin’.”

  She gave him a mock look of reprimand.

  “I’m talking about the food,” he said. “What’d you think I meant?”

  “Uh-huh. Whatever you say.” Then she slid the cheese cube off the toothpick, using her teeth and tongue in a way that had Wade squirming. She widened her eyes in innocence as he watched her chew and swallow.

  “As a matter of fact, though,” he said, helping himself to a black olive with ham, “you clean up real nice, Tess.”

  “Hey, it’s not every day a girl turns twenty-one.” She wriggled her eyebrows. “Speaking of cleaning up, have you seen your daughter?”

  “Not since she left the house on horseback on a mission.” A pained look crossed his face, so comical she had to smother a laugh.

  “It’s not that bad, Wade. Just a little makeup. You did know she wanted to wear some to the party, right?”

  “Uh, yeah. Right.”

  “Good, because I was hoping this wasn’t another case of misunderstanding, like the one we had over Amber. Macy said it freaked you out when she brought up the makeup thing.” Unable to resist teasing him, she added, “And I quote—‘Dad acted like
I’d asked him to help me shop for lace underwear.’”

  Wade shifted from one foot to the other. “Well, it sort of took me by surprise.” He lowered his voice to a mumble. “To say the least.”

  “You’re okay with it, though?”

  He shrugged. “Sure. I guess.”

  Tess laughed. “You don’t sound sure, but at any rate, it’s a little late now. Come on.” She grabbed his hand, and immediately became acutely aware of how strong and warm it was. Finishing off her last bite of cheese more as a distraction than because she was hungry, she tugged Wade along behind her. “Don’t worry. It’s just a little mascara and lipstick.” As she looked over her shoulder, she pointed the empty toothpick at him. “So don’t make her feel self-conscious.”

  “I won’t.” He sounded indignant, as though he’d never dream of humiliating his daughter. Tess mentally rolled her eyes. Anyone who spouted corny comebacks was bound not to know enough to handle a girl’s first makeup job with finesse.

  Tess walked through the dining area to the kitchen, where Macy and Becky were working on a batch of homemade ice cream, taking turns at the old-fashioned crank-style ice-cream maker.

  Macy grinned. “Hi, Dad! Me and Becky—I mean, Becky and I—are making strawberry-banana nut temptation. Tess thought it up.”

  “She did, huh?” Still holding Tess’s hand, Wade reached out and tugged a lock of his daughter’s hair. Then he cast Tess a look that reminded her of a naughty boy up to no good. “Hey, what’s that on your lips, Macy? You must’ve gotten into those berries.” He gestured at the containers of strawberries resting on the table on either side of a huge bunch of bananas.

  Macy pressed her pale-pink lips together in reprimand. “Dad. You know what it is.” Her blue eyes widened with excitement. “Tess helped me and Becky with our lipstick and mascara. What do you think?” She batted her lashes.

  Wade hid a grin, and rubbed his chin in deep concentration. “Why, I think you ladies look lovely.” He tipped his black hat. “How do, Miss Becky. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He held out his hand and Becky giggled and gave it a shake.

  “She’s gonna join 4-H,” Macy said, smiling at her new friend in a way that warmed Tess’s heart. She understood Macy hadn’t found it easy to make a new best friend after losing Sarah.

  “Becky’s my niece,” Tess added. “Her mother and Zach got married a couple of months ago.”

  “So I heard.”

  “They took Becky with them on their honeymoon. To Walt Disney World!” Macy added. She gave Becky a good-natured poke in the ribs. “You lucky.”

  Immediately, the animated expression on Wade’s face disappeared, and Tess couldn’t help but wonder if he was pondering the cost of such a vacation. Her heart went out to him. She knew it wasn’t easy raising two kids on his own. But he sure made it look that way—she’d give him that much.

  “Hey, cattleman,” she said, tugging on their still-clasped hands. “Wanna help me with something outside?”

  “Sure.”

  He released her hand, as though only now aware he still held it, and Tess felt a bit foolish for not having been the one to let go after she’d tugged him toward the kitchen. But his palm had felt so good, gripping hers, that she hadn’t really wanted to.

  Wade bent and gave Macy a peck on the cheek. “You do look real nice, honey. You, too, Miss Becky.” He tipped his hat again, sending the girls into a fresh fit of giggles.

  “Keep cranking that ice cream,” Tess said. “I’ll be back to help in a minute.”

  “Okay.” Macy picked up on her conversation with Becky, and Tess headed for the sliding glass doors that led outside from the kitchen.

  On the porch, Lloyd sat with Seth, Zach and Donna—the only guests to arrive thus far outside of Wade and Macy. Tess’s stomach churned with irritation as she watched her oldest brother. She hadn’t yet had the opportunity to talk to him away from Donna.

  Wade greeted her family, and Tess introduced him to her new sister-in-law. Then she spoke to her dad. “We’ll be out in the barn for a minute. I want to show Wade what you brought home this afternoon.”

  “Okay, honey,” Lloyd said.

  “Stay out of the hayloft,” Seth teased. “That’s what got Zach where he is.” He grinned at Donna, who laughed and turned bright red.

  Tess shook a warning finger at her brother. “Get your thoughts out of the gutter. Your father’s present.”

  “Don’t mind me,” Lloyd said. “I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday.”

  “I’d say you read enough of those romance novels to get your imagination going, anyway,” Zach ribbed. “You oughta see the covers on some of them.” He grinned at Wade. “Bright red. What d’ya call ’em, Dad? Blazing, flaming, something or other.”

  “You hush, boy,” Lloyd said. But he let out a booming laugh.

  Wade raised his eyebrows at Tess as they headed toward the barn. “Your dad reads romance novels?”

  “Yep. Surprised?”

  “A little,” he acknowledged. “I would’ve taken him more for the Louis L’Amour type.”

  “He reads those, too.” Tess smiled. “He got started on romance when he began to read them to Mom.” Bittersweet memories filled her of the hours Lloyd had spent, first on the sunny back porch of their ranch house or next to a cozy fire in winter, and later at Rae’s bedside in the County Care Facility. “He got hooked, and now he reads them by the truckload.”

  Wade chuckled. “That’s great,” he said. He sobered. “I like your dad, Tess. He’s a good man.”

  “I know.” She gave him a small smile, then walked through the open barn door. “Here’s what he brought me today.” She stepped up to a box stall and peered over the top. A tiny foal lay curled in the thick straw bedding, its coal-black nose tucked over one stockinged leg.

  Wade leaned over to look, too. “Where’s the mare?”

  “She died of colic,” Tess said. “One of Dad’s customers came into the feed store this afternoon and asked him if I could take the filly. I’ll be moving her to the sanctuary in the morning. She’s only six weeks old.”

  “And you’re telling me this because…?” A note of suspicion laced his voice.

  She might have known he would never think she’d simply brought him to see the filly because it was cute. “She’ll make a good 4-H project,” Tess said. “She’s on a bottle, and it’ll be an experience to raise her. I thought Macy might want to help me.”

  “Why?”

  It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. She’d figured he’d make some comment about coddling horses. “What do you mean, ‘why?’ I just told you. For 4-H. All Macy’s group will be involved to some extent.”

  “That’s exactly what I mean. Why single out Macy? To come over and help you more than the other kids in the West Slope Trail Blazers.”

  He made the idea sound like something devious. Tess glared at him. “Well, if you’re wondering if it was to get close to you, cattleman, think again.” But her palms grew damp. Had she subconsciously done so? No way. She didn’t need a lame excuse to get close to him. Not that she’d want to, anyway. He’d almost kissed her the other night, and for a brief moment, she’d wished he had. But then her better judgment had taken over, and she’d told herself it was best he hadn’t. “I figured Macy might have fun with the foal, especially since she comes to visit me now and then. Is that a crime?”

  “She already has her hands full with Diego.”

  “I know that.” She looked at the black filly as the little horse struggled to her feet with a whicker of greeting. Tess stuck her hand out, and the foal latched on to her fingers and began to suckle. Tess’s heart went out to her. No mother. Poor little thing. Her every instinct kicked into familiar gear. The foal needed TLC, and that had always been her specialty. She wanted to share the experience with Macy.

  “And, yes, Diego will require a great deal of Macy’s time. Still, there’s nothing like the feeling of mothering something.” It was what she’d clung to
growing up, first when her birth mother had abandoned her and she’d looked after her brothers, and later, when Raelene had begun to falter in the grips of her illness and Tess had tended her. Though Macy’s situation wasn’t quite the same as her own, she still felt it would be beneficial for her to experience the rewards of nurturing. It had helped Tess so many times to be able to reach out and help rather than need reaching out to. To this day, she got that same feeling of fulfillment whenever she rescued a horse. Wade himself had mentioned feeling such satisfaction just the other day when he’d help her save Diego. So why was he being stubborn now?

  “Where are you going with this?” he asked.

  “Surely you’ve noticed Macy’s loneliness.” Tess pulled her fingers from the filly’s mouth and looked up at him. Anger clouded his face, and she hurried to elaborate. “Don’t get me wrong, Wade. You’re a great father. Anyone can see that. But Macy told me all about her friendship with Bailey, and now she’s starting to hang around me. I’d say she’s lonely for some feminine company.”

  “She’s got girlfriends, like Becky,” he said. “If you’ve got a problem with her tagging on your heels, just say so.”

  Tess’s temper flared. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I love having her around. But I think she’s aching for a mother figure.”

  “And a filly’s gonna cure that?” Sarcasm laced his voice.

  “Of course not.” She took a breath, knowing she’d likely stepped over a boundary she had no business crossing. But she cared too much about Macy not to speak her mind. “Wade, motherhood and nurturing are something special.” She gestured, groping for the right words. “It’s a woman thing, you know? And if Macy’s missing out on that—the same way I did by not having a mom part of my life—then it might benefit her to turn the tables and do a little mothering of her own.”

  Wade pressed his mouth into a line and hooked one hand near his belt. “Look, Tess. I’m sure you mean well, and I do appreciate you teaching Macy about makeup and helping her with Diego. But I told you once before. You’re not her mother.”

  “I never—”

  “And you’re sure as hell in no position to cast judgment on what my kid does or doesn’t need.” His face reddened. “Don’t tell me how to parent. Okay?” For a minute it appeared as if he was going to lecture her further, then he shook his head. “Forget it. I’d better get back up to the house. I’ve got those bridles and belts in the truck for your dad.” With that, he spun on his heel and walked off.