Cowgirl, Say Yes

by Brenda Mott

  As she rejoined her mother, Rae took hold of the paper napkin and pulled it from her lap. Her fingers worked along the edges and she began to shred one corner. “No, Mama.” Tess spoke gently. “Let’s leave that in your lap, okay? Here. Look what we’ve got.” She opened the picnic container and arranged the food on the blanket before them. After peeling the top from a container of strawberry gelatin, Tess dipped a spoon into it and offered her mother a taste.

  Rae opened her mouth like a little bird, taking the gelatin. But her eyes darted around the yard, not focused on any one thing in particular. Tess watched her, wishing there were some way she could seize the web of confusion in her mother’s mind and remove it. For the life of her, she’d never stop wondering what caused such a tragic disease and why it had to affect someone as dear and sweet as Raelene.

  Shrugging off thoughts about something she had no power to change, Tess concentrated on feeding her mother. “That’s good, isn’t it?” she asked, dabbing at one corner of Rae’s mouth where a tiny bit of the strawberry gelatin clung.

  Rae didn’t answer. Instead, she reached for a box of juice. Tess opened it and inserted a straw, but Raelene made no move to drink from it. Instead, she squeezed it, causing the juice to ooze out from the straw and spill down the side of the box.

  “Here, let me help you,” Tess said. She reached for the juice container, but Raelene clung stubbornly to it. “Mama, it’s sticky. Let me wipe your hands and give you a new one. All right?”

  “Not mine,” Rae said. She held the box away from Tess.

  “All right,” Tess said. “You can keep it. We’ll worry about cleaning you up later.”

  She steadied Rae with a gentle touch to her arm and Rae finally took a sip of the grape juice. A little of it dribbled down her chin, and Tess wiped it away with a clean napkin.

  She glanced at her watch. Already precious minutes had ticked by, marking off her hour with her mother. Each task was so tedious where Raelene was concerned. Tess remembered how her mother had always joked about time passing quickly when you were having fun. It had always felt that way when they’d gone horseback riding, with two or three hours flying by in what seemed like minutes as they rode the familiar trails surrounding the ranch.

  Tess wished Rae were capable of riding still. How she longed to sweep her mother up onto Angel’s back and ride like the wind with her. To simply run and run until they outdistanced the disease that held Raelene in its grip. If Tess could be sure her mom wouldn’t be afraid, she’d put her on the mare and lead her around. But that would be pushing things too far. As it was, she’d taken a risk in driving her out here alone. Her father would be worried if he found out. Deep down, Tess realized it was the real reason she’d chosen not to call and invite him to join her. He most likely would have talked her out of the picnic.

  Yet the expression on her mother’s face as she breathed in the fresh air told Tess it was worth it to have taken a chance. No matter how much she reminded herself that Raelene was in good hands at the CCF, Tess still hated the walls that closed her mother in 24/7. They were every bit as constrictive as the disease that imprisoned Rae’s mind. If all she and Rae could have together outdoors was a moment like this one, then she intended to make the most of it.

  “Would you like to listen to some music, Mama?” Tess had found that a nature tape or classical music often soothed Rae.

  “Yes,” Raelene said, though her answer seemed meaningless as she looked around the yard. She was staring at the lilac hedge, where Tangie now lazed in the shade of the deep-green foliage.

  The portable cassette player Tess often took to the barn now sat on the kitchen counter. She glanced at the screen door. It was a short distance away, not much more than she’d gone to retrieve the cordless phone. “You sit right here, Mama, and I’ll be back.” Tess patted Rae’s hand, hoping that by the time she returned, her mother would be willing to relinquish the sticky juice box.

  Tess hurried up the steps and into the kitchen. She spotted the cassette player and, at the same time noticed Champ crouched on the opposite end of the countertop. Chewing on the leaves of a potted plant. “Champ, no!” Tess clapped her hands. “Get down from there. You know better.”

  The cat shot her a guilty look and scrambled off the counter, knocking the plant over in the process. It rolled off the counter and crashed onto the floor. Pottery shattered, scattering dirt everywhere. “Damn!” Tess glanced toward the screen door, then back to the broken pot. It would have to wait. But as she turned to go, Champ slunk back into the room, his curiosity overriding his sense of caution. He made his way across the tiled floor to explore the shards of pottery, treading through the spilled soil. “Get out of there, Champ,” Tess scolded. “You’ll cut your paws.”

  She made a shooing motion with her hands, then glanced around the kitchen. No way could she leave her mother long enough to clean up the broken pot. Improvising, she snatched up a dish towel and threw it over the shattered pottery, then anchored the towel with the leg of a chair. Hopefully, that would keep Champ safe until she could clean the whole mess up.

  Tess retrieved the cassette player from the counter, checked it briefly to be sure a tape was inside it, then headed for the back door.

  Her heart leaped to her throat as she pushed the screen open.

  A bright-purple stain spread across the picnic blanket where Raelene had dropped the sticky juice box.

  And her mother was nowhere in sight.

  WADE SADDLED DAKOTA, grumbling. He couldn’t believe that after he’d checked the fence just days ago and found it intact, some idiot had run a truck through it, letting half a dozen steers escape and wander off to God knows where. It was a miracle the entire herd hadn’t gotten out. They likely would have if not for the fact that the majority of the animals had been content to lie in the cool, shallow water and insect-repelling mud of the pond located near the barn.

  “Don’t worry, Dad. They couldn’t have gotten that far,” Jason said. “I know the wire wasn’t down this morning when Macy and I left on our ride.” The kids had discovered the break in the fence line only after returning from their outing.

  “I can’t believe whoever did it drove away without saying anything.” Macy rolled her eyes. “How rude.”

  “Those tire marks are pretty wide,” Jason added. “I bet it was someone with four-wheel drive.”

  “More than likely,” Wade said, flipping his stirrup into place after tightening his cinch. “A lot of folks don’t realize a gravel road can be just as slick as one covered with ice and snow.” And most of the teenagers in the area thought themselves invincible and unstoppable in their four-wheel-drive vehicles.

  “We’ll find the steers, Dad,” Macy said, nudging Amber into a trot as the three of them rode down the driveway toward the road. Smokey and Bandit followed.

  “They might’ve wandered toward Trent and Bailey’s place,” Wade said. Or Tess’s. The thought cheered him up a little. If his steers had gone missing, then the least they could do was end up wandering over to Tess’s place. Of course, she might be at work, so even if the animals were there, he couldn’t count on seeing her.

  Wade sighed. This was getting ridiculous. Tess was on his mind far more now, since their drive to the lake, than ever before. For all their talk of taking things slow, he was having a difficult time putting his words into action. All he wanted lately was to pick up the phone and call her, or make excuses to drive to her house. Maybe it was a phase he was going through, some sort of weird spring fever or something. He could only hope it would pass.

  Urging Dakota to pick up the pace, Wade headed down the road, Smokey and Bandit trotting ahead. Tracks from the break in the fence suggested that not all the steers had headed in the same direction, which was odd. “Maybe we ought to split up,” he said. “You kids could ride that way—” he pointed in the direction opposite Tess’s place “—and I’ll check Trent and Bailey’s and Tess’s. If you don’t see anything by the time you reach the Andersons’ ranch, th
en turn around and meet me back this way and we’ll figure something else out.”

  “Okay.” Macy swung Amber around and trotted off with Jason.

  Wade rode along the shoulder of the road, looking for more tracks. He wondered if whoever had been in the pickup hadn’t possibly made a game of chasing the steers with it once they’d gotten out on the road. That would explain why the animals had split in two separate directions. Anger churned in Wade’s gut as he continued on his way.

  He’d just about reached the foot of Tess’s driveway when he spotted four of his steers up ahead, grazing in the bar ditch. But before he could breathe a sigh of relief, something else caught his eye. He had to blink and do a double take in order for the sight in front of him to fully register.

  Raelene Vega wandered down the driveway toward him, holding what looked like an oversize baby bottle in her hands. On her heels trotted Tess’s miniature pinscher, Bruiser, with her Australian shepherd bringing up the rear. Duke was nowhere in sight. Wade turned Dakota into the driveway and proceeded at a walk. “Rae?” he called. “Is that you?” Of course it was. It was just that never in a million years would he have expected to see her out here. What on earth was going on? And where was Tess?

  Rae looked up at him as he drew near, her expression full of worry. Maybe she was afraid of the horse. Pulling the gelding to a halt several feet from her, Wade swung from the saddle. “It’s all right, Raelene. Do you remember me?” Again, he mentally chastised himself. She wouldn’t, of course, but he somehow felt it important to talk to her, even if his words didn’t register. He held out his hand. “You’re okay. This big ol’ horse is harmless.”

  “Goats,” Rae said. She clutched the bottle to her chest and Wade recognized it as the one Tess had used to feed Chantilly, her orphaned foal. He’d seen it—or one like it—sitting in the barn the night Tess had first shown him the foal.

  “Well, no,” Wade said, not sure how to handle the situation. “No goats out here, ma’am, just a few loose steers and this old horse of mine.” He looked around once more, seeking Tess. What in thunder was Rae doing here? He held his hand out to her. “Want to walk with me? Come on, Raelene. Let’s go back up to the house, okay?”

  “No.” Rae shook her head. She held up the bottle and frowned at him. “Goats this time.”

  Wade thought about how Raelene had pitched the serving tray at him at the County Care Facility, and decided caution was in order. Not that he was afraid of the poor woman; he just didn’t want to upset her. “All right, then. You show me where the goats are and we’ll take care of ’em.”

  But she only stared at him blankly. Her right armed drooped to her side, the foal’s bottle hanging upside down. Empty. Rae lifted her free hand and gestured, her mouth pursed as she scowled and tried to form words that seemed to elude her.

  Wade looked toward the house, the barn. He hated to startle Raelene by raising his voice, but he had to do something. “Tess,” he called out, keeping his voice as low as possible. Then louder, when no response came. “Tess!” Surely she was nearby. She wouldn’t leave her mother alone. “Hey, Tess!”

  “No!” Rae dropped the bottle and clamped her hands over her ears. “No, no, no.” She began shaking her head violently.

  Uh-oh. Wade took a step toward her, still grasping Dakota’s reins. “Easy, there, hon. It’s okay. Raelene, please don’t get upset.” Knowing his words were useless, he continued to soothe, to try to coax her to be calm.

  But it was no use. Hands still clasped to her ears, Raelene crouched in the driveway and tucked her knees beneath her chin. She began to keen, her voice sharp, piercing…heartbreaking.

  TESS HURRIED ACROSS the backyard, her heart seeming to stand still. “Mama! Mama, where are you?” Rae’s childlike mind could have led her anywhere, but surely her mother hadn’t gone far. She’d turned her back on Rae for only a moment. But then, she supposed it was the same as turning one’s attention away from a toddler for a split second.

  As Tess hastened toward the driveway, Duke trotted up to her, coming from the barn. Alarm filled her. That meant Rae had gone inside and let the dogs out. Certainly they wouldn’t have harmed her. Duke was a good watchdog, but he was more bark than anything else. And he didn’t appear to be agitated. Actually, now that she looked at him more closely, Tess noticed the dog was behaving strangely.

  Whining, he trotted toward her, his tail drooping. He halted, staring up into Tess’s eyes. His gaze seemed to implore her to take heed of something. She wondered where Sasha and Bruiser were. Duke whined again, then headed down the driveway toward the road. Tess hesitated, wondering if she should check the barn first or follow the dog. Did he sense something, or was he simply wandering? Knowing he normally didn’t leave the property, Tess decided the dog wasn’t merely roaming.

  Palms damp, she hollered for Rae once more. It was then that she heard Wade calling her own name. Followed by a shout. Her mother. Tess ran. Duke bounded before her as though playing the role of Lassie. He must indeed have sensed something amiss. Tess spotted Wade holding on to Dakota’s reins, Raelene huddled in the driveway in front of him.

  Duke barked a warning, then, to Tess’s surprise, thrust his massive body between Wade and Rae. The dog leaned into her, and Rae immediately flung her arms around the shepherd’s neck, burrowing her face into his fur. The keening that came from her throat began to die down.

  Tess hurried forward. “Mama. Thank God.” She looked up at Wade. “How did you happen by?” Feeling foolish, she knelt beside her mother. “I turned my back for a minute and she was gone.” She wrapped her arms around Rae’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “There now, Mama, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re fine.”

  But Rae clung stubbornly to Duke, who accepted the weight of her arms around his neck without a fuss. He eyeballed Wade and growled. “Duke,” Tess said. “It’s okay. Be nice.”

  “What in the world is your mother doing here?” Wade asked. “I saw her as I rode past and I thought my eyes were playing a trick on me.”

  Tess felt her face warm. It was a trick all right—a stupid one on her part. She never should have tried to take her mother on an outing alone. She sighed, full of guilt as Rae sobbed quietly. “Mama, I’m so sorry.” Tess looked up at Wade. “I brought her here for a little picnic. I thought the fresh air and change of scenery would be nice. But I guess it was a bad idea.”

  Wade led Dakota over to the edge of the driveway and looped his reins around a tree branch, then returned. Cautiously, so as not to startle her mother, he crouched beside Tess and laid his hand on her shoulder. “It was a nice thought,” he said. “You couldn’t have known.”

  She shook her head. “I should have. Dad and I used to take her out quite a bit, and sometimes my brothers did, too. But it’s been a while.” She noticed Chantilly’s bottle, lying a Raelene’s feet. “What is she doing with this?” Tess picked it up, and Rae reached out for it with one hand, still clinging to Duke with the other. Tess gave the bottle to her, then stroked the hair away from Rae’s face. “Shh, Mama. It’s okay.” She glanced at Wade. “She must’ve gotten this out of the barn. She used to take care of her mother’s goats when she was little. Sometimes she obsesses over the past that way.”

  Wade nodded. “She said something about goats. I think she was looking for them.”

  “I should’ve known better,” Tess repeated as she continued to soothe her mother. “It’s my fault, sweetie, all my fault for bringing you here. Come on. Let me help you.” She encircled her mother’s waist and with gentle pressure coaxed her into letting go of Duke and standing.

  “I can help you get her back to the CCF,” Wade said. “Just give me a minute to do something with my horse.”

  Tess fought the urge to refuse him. She hated taking the risk of upsetting Rae all the more by letting Wade come along, but then, she supposed she’d already done enough harm there that it really didn’t matter. Besides, it probably wasn’t Wade himself who’d upset her mom but simply the situation, jus
t as it had been the day Wade walked into Rae’s room and caught her pulling Tess’s hair. Tess had to admit she could use his help right now. But before either of them could move, a dark-green Chevy truck pulled into the driveway.

  Tess grimaced at the sight of Zach and Becky. “Great,” she muttered. This was all she needed. She and Zach hadn’t spoken since their blowup at her birthday party, and if her brother said or did anything right now to further upset their mother, Tess didn’t think her temper would hold, and Raelene definitely did not need more tension.

  Zach turned off the ignition and spoke briefly to Becky before climbing from the truck. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded as he strode toward Tess. Though his words were harsh, at least he had enough sense to keep his voice low. Shouting would definitely frighten Raelene.

  Tess opened her mouth to answer, but to her surprise Wade stepped between her and Zachary. “Just take it easy, Zach. Your mother’s already upset. Let’s not do anything to complicate the matter, all right?” Firmly, he held Zach’s gaze.

  Zach scowled at him, then looked at Tess. “What is Mom doing here?”

  “Never mind,” Tess said. “You and I can talk about this later. I need to get her back to the nursing home.”

  Zach let his breath out in a huff, his hands hovering at his waist as though he was about to punch someone. “I guess you do.” Sarcasm laced his reply. He pursed his lips and stared at Tess, obviously finding it difficult to hold back.

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” Tess asked her brother, rubbing Rae’s shoulders. Her mother had grown quiet, and now stared blankly at a point beyond Zach’s shoulder.

  “I was on my way to Wade’s place. Becky wanted to see if Macy could go with us to look at some horses.” He glared at Wade. “Did you have something to do with this?”

  Before Wade could answer, Tess held up her hand. “Zach. I said later. Okay?”