Just the Man She Needed

by Karen Rose Smith

  She only had one string of lights that worked but they would add sparkle to the tree. “We’ll light it and then you can get your pj’s on.”

  “Can we sing a Christmas carol?”

  Emily turned to Slade to explain. “We usually do that after we light the tree.”

  “Another tradition?” he asked, his voice husky.

  She nodded.

  After Slade plugged in the lights, Emily put her arm around Mark. “What do you want to sing?”

  “Silent Night,” he answered without hesitating.

  After Emily started the song, Mark joined in, and then finally Slade. When they finished, they were all quiet, savoring the moment Emily knew would last a lifetime.

  But then the phone rang, breaking the silence. Emily picked up the baby monitor on the end table and went to answer the phone, saying to Mark, “Go ahead upstairs. I’ll be up when I finish.”

  The evening had been a turbulent one for Slade, and after he said good-night to Mark, he followed Emily to the kitchen intent on going to his room. He’d never been involved in family traditions before. He’d never cut down a Christmas tree or watched Christmas come alive in a child’s eyes. Tonight when they’d plugged in the tree lights, he’d gotten a lump in his throat that he couldn’t dislodge. His chest had felt tight, and when he’d finally joined in the singing, the chaos inside him made him realize that maybe he’d stayed at the Double Blaze too long already. What was he doing here when he didn’t belong? What was he doing here acting at times as if he was one of the family?

  He would have gone to his room to sort his thoughts but then he heard Emily greet the caller on the phone. “Hi, Dallas. Are you home for Christmas already?”

  Suddenly Slade needed a glass of milk, and he was going to take his time about getting it. Listening unabashedly, he found out Dallas was still at the university. Even only hearing one side of the conversation, he guessed the man was checking up on Emily, making sure she and Mark didn’t need anything, making sure she was safe from a stranger who might harm her.

  Once she glanced over at Slade and said, “Yes, he’s still here. He’ll be staying through the holidays.”

  A few minutes later as Slade stood at the counter and drank his milk slowly, Emily hung up the phone.

  He set down his glass and asked casually, “Did Dallas want anything special?”

  “Not really. He was just checking in. Neighbors look after neighbors out here. Wasn’t it that way on other ranches where you worked?”

  “On those other ranches, I lived in the bunkhouse. I didn’t particularly know what was going on with the people who lived there. I just did my work. Don’t you think Dallas is pretty far away to be neighborly?”

  “Distance doesn’t interfere with friendship. After Pete died, Dallas started calling every couple of weeks. He just wants to make sure I’m okay,” she added quietly.

  Their eyes met.

  “How’s your leg?” Emily asked.

  “Fine.”

  “You wouldn’t tell me if it wasn’t, would you?”

  Her tone was accusing, and he realized it felt kind of nice to have her fussing over him. He gave her a slow smile. “I wouldn’t want to spoil my tough cowboy image.”

  His gentle teasing brought her a few steps closer to him. “You’ve got a good heart, Slade. You’re making this Christmas special for Mark.”

  “You’re wrong there. You and your kids are making it special for me. I never had a Christmas that I really wanted to celebrate before.” He paused, then went on. “I was taking a look at that sled you got. Since you nixed the idea of a bicycle or a wagon, how about if I sand it down for you. We’ll make it a joint project.”

  “Well,” she said slowly, pretending to think about it. “Only if you promise to let me throw that football around with you and Mark out in the snow after he opens it.”

  He had a hard time imagining Emily playing football, but tackling her could be a heck of a lot of fun. “The more the merrier,” he agreed with a chuckle.

  And then they gazed into each other’s eyes again, aware of the electricity pulling them together, aware of a bond growing between them even if neither of them wanted it. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Everything in him shouted to take her in his arms. But he wasn’t sure he could stop with a kiss anymore. He wasn’t sure he could keep a kiss simple. He wasn’t sure he should stay even a day after Christmas.

  Emily backed away from him. “I’d better get upstairs.”

  Slade nodded to the baby monitor in her hand. “If you want to leave that while you put Mark to bed, I’ll listen for Amanda. If she wakes up before you’re finished, I’ll distract her.” He enjoyed holding the baby, but he didn’t do it too often because he might get used to it.

  When Emily handed him the monitor, their fingers brushed, and neither of them pulled away. He could see in her brown eyes some of the emotion he was feeling. But he chalked it up to the sentimentality of the holidays. He chalked it up to feeling as if he were part of a family when he never had been before.

  As Emily went upstairs, he thought about his real family, the brother he hadn’t found yet, and the difference Hunter Coleburn could make in his life.

  On the day before Christmas, Slade had just returned from checking on cattle when Mark came running toward the corral. Out of breath, the boy said, “Come quick. Mom says you got an important phone call.”

  Only one person had Slade’s number here, John Morgan, Hunter Coleburn’s adoptive father. Turning loose the horse he’d ridden into the corral, Slade hurried to the house, Mark running beside him trying to keep up. Coming inside, Mark slammed the door behind him. Emily didn’t scold, but just pointed to the receiver on the counter and said to Slade, “It’s Hunter Coleburn.”

  Then his heart began thudding.

  Draping her arm around her son’s shoulders, Emily said to Mark, “Let’s go into the living room and let Slade have some privacy.”

  Slade waited until they were in the next room. “Hello?”

  “Slade Coleburn?” a deep voice asked.

  “Yes.”

  “This is Hunter Coleburn. I just returned to my office in London and found a message from my parents. After we talked, they faxed me your letter and the picture you enclosed. Except for the fact that I have black hair, and my father tells me in the picture yours is brown, we could pass for each other. We’re twins, Slade.”

  With Slade’s heart hammering in his chest, he didn’t know what to say next, and he couldn’t tell from Hunter’s tone what the man thought about finding a lost brother. “What do you think about all of it?”

  There was silence at the other end of the line. “It’s a shock. I didn’t know I had any family. Real family. I didn’t think…” He stopped. “This is hard to discuss over the phone, and I won’t be back in the country for at least another three weeks. I’d like to see you then. Maybe you could come to Denver or I can fly to Montana.”

  “We can talk about it when you get back to the States,” Slade assured him. “I’m not sure I’ll still be here then, but I’ll contact you if I’m not. Can you give me a number where I can reach you?”

  Hunter did, and Slade jotted it down on the notepad beside the phone. Afterward, particularly curious about something, he asked, “Is there a reason you kept the Coleburn name?”

  “It was my middle name until I was twenty-one, then I decided to reclaim it.”

  Slade suspected there was a lot Hunter wasn’t saying, but they’d need more than a five-minute conversation to get to know each other. It might take the rest of their lives.

  As if thinking the same thing, Hunter asked, “Dad said you were working on a ranch in Montana. Is that what you do?”

  “I do a little bit of everything. I’ve worked construction jobs, but I like the wide-open spaces. I’ve moved around a lot. What about you?”

  “My specialty is international law, so I often travel. It seems as if we both have the urge to…roam.”

  There was more s
ilence as if the two men didn’t know where to begin. Finally Slade said, “I’m glad you called. I’m not sure if I ever really expected to find you.”

  “I’m glad you did. I’ll be in touch when I can be more definite about my plans.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll keep you informed where you can reach me. You have a good Christmas.”

  “It’s already good,” Hunter murmured, his voice going deeper. “Take care. I’ll call you soon.”

  When Slade hung up the phone, his throat was tight. He heard Mark as the boy ran up the stairs and he wondered if Emily had sent him for something.

  She came into the kitchen carrying Amanda, holding the baby on her shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently as she patted Amanda’s back.

  He’d never had anyone to talk things over with before and had never really seen the need. A man handled his own problems. A man followed his own good sense and had to find his own answers. Yet Hunter Coleburn wasn’t a problem, and there were no answers to seek, at least not yet.

  “I do have a twin. Hunter’s father faxed him my picture and he says we look alike.”

  Tilting her head, Emily studied him. “How does it feel to have a brother?”

  “Odd. I mean I don’t know what I expected. But it was like talking to a stranger.”

  “You are strangers. You will be until you spend some time together. Are you going to do that?”

  “He seems to want to. So do I. But he’s in London right now on business. He doesn’t think he’ll be back till the middle of January. So any reunion will have to wait.”

  “What’s he like?” Emily asked.

  “Reserved…educated. We probably don’t have much in common.”

  “You have blood in common. That’s powerful, Slade.”

  Amanda started squirming a bit on Emily’s shoulder and for a distraction as much as anything else, Slade reached out and took her, cradling her in his arms, rocking her, thinking about the bond she had with her brother. Then he looked up at Emily, feeling the bond that was growing stronger with her. Since the night they’d decorated the tree, they’d been easier with each other. They were still backing away from the chemistry, but she didn’t jerk away when he accidentally touched her, and he took every opportunity he could to get close to her. They’d had fun painting Mark’s sled together. And he’d wrapped the gifts he’d bought for Mark one night, while she painted his name on the sled.

  “Would you like to go to church with me tonight?” she asked.

  “Do you want to take the baby?”

  “Mavis said she’d come over and sit with Mark and Amanda if I…if we…wanted to go.”

  Slade doubted Mavis was doing it so he could take Emily to church, but he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. “I’d like to take you. Wouldn’t Mark mind missing out?”

  “He’ll be in bed. The service isn’t until ten-thirty. We should be home by midnight.”

  Suddenly Slade thought about going to church, Emily’s neighbors and the clothes he had with him. But that could be easily fixed. “I have to run into town this afternoon. Do you need anything?”

  She shook her head. “I have everything I need right now.”

  As he looked down at her, he thought, he did, too.

  Getting Mark to bed on Christmas Eve took a little longer than usual. The boy was excited, there was no doubt about that, Slade thought, as he went to his room to get dressed for church. Emily had fed Amanda and the baby, too, was tucked in at least for the next couple of hours. Slade had just tugged on a new pair of black boots when he heard voices in the kitchen. He supposed Mavis had arrived. Taking his new Western-cut camel blazer from a hanger, he slipped it on, then walked down the hall to the kitchen.

  When the two women saw him, they stopped talking and stared. Emily’s gaze went from the top of his head to his string tie, white shirt and blazer, down the black jeans and boots. She was obviously at a loss for words.

  Did he look so different out of his flannel shirt and blue jeans? She herself was as pretty as any picture in a russet long-sleeved dress with a flared skirt that came to the top of her boots.

  With the women still staring at him, he rubbed his jaw and joked, “Did I miss a spot shaving?”

  Emily blushed and Mavis laughed.

  “Women can’t help but stare at a man all spruced up for Christmas Eve,” Mavis remarked with a smile.

  “Is that true, Emily?” he teased.

  “I, uh…you just look different.”

  “Different good or different bad?”

  “I almost didn’t know you.”

  “I’m the same man under the clothes, Emily.”

  Her cheeks grew even redder. “I suppose we should be going if we don’t want to be late.”

  He decided to let her change the subject. “I’m ready when you are.”

  Lifting her coat from the kitchen chair, he held it for her. When she put one arm in, she was so close to him he could smell the scent of her shampoo, something flowery like the lotion she wore. When she slipped her other arm in, he didn’t let go of the coat but fixed the lapel at her neck, brushing his fingers through the ends of her hair as if it were an accident.

  She gazed over her shoulder at him, and he felt his heart skip.

  He could hardly remember what he said to Mavis before they left. The whole way to church in the van, he kept glancing at Emily and she at him.

  Finally she said, “You look very handsome tonight.”

  “I clean up well, do I?”

  “Slade…”

  “I can’t help but tease you. You should have seen your face. I didn’t know there was such a difference between wearing a coat and tie and a flannel shirt.”

  “It wasn’t that.”

  “What was it?”

  The wind blew against the van, the heater hummed, the stars above shone down on them.

  “I thought I was coming to know you and then tonight, you looked so different, I wondered if I really do know you.”

  “You know me, Emily. What there is to know. Just because I went and bought some new duds doesn’t mean I’m going to act any different. You don’t act any different when you put lipstick on do you?”

  She was wearing a natural shade tonight that blended well with the dress. “Actually I do,” she said honestly. “Getting dressed up, putting lipstick on, makes me feel more…womanly.”

  He let a few heartbeats go by, then he murmured, “I’ll remember that.”

  When they arrived at the church, the small parking lot was already full of cars. As they went inside, they saw most of the pews were full. A family made room for them at the end of a pew on the left side and, as Slade let Emily pass him to go in first, he saw some curious eyes on them. After he took his place facing forward, he spotted Dallas O’Neill two pews from the front. As far as Slade could tell, there was no one with him. No woman with him, that is.

  It had been years since Slade attended a church service. The last time had been about five years ago at Easter. He’d gone with a couple of the hands on the ranch where he’d been working. But tonight there was something different. Something more special about being here with Emily. When he opened the hymnal and his voice rose up with hers on the opening carol, something stirred in his heart that had been quiet since he was a child.

  Poinsettias decorated the altar with a manger scene standing to one side. Slade became increasingly aware of the sense of community here, of everyone knowing everyone else, and caring that they were all together on this night. There was scripture reading and prayers for those who were sick, rejoicing for those who had gotten married and babies who were born. And then there was the sermon. During it, Emily’s hands lay in her lap, her shoulder companionably brushing Slade’s. She turned to look at him once, and their eyes locked for a few long moments.

  He leaned close to her and murmured in her ear, “I’m glad you invited me along tonight.”

  She just smiled, and he wondered where her thoughts were, if she was
remembering other Christmases, maybe with her husband. He didn’t have a clear picture of Pete Lawrence and knew that could only come from her when she was ready to tell him about her marriage.

  After the blessing and the final hymn, the minister stood in the small vestibule greeting the members of his congregation.

  But before they reached the man, Dallas tapped Emily on the shoulder.

  As soon as Dallas O’Neill’s arm went around Emily’s shoulders, she saw the expression on Slade’s face. He really is jealous of Dallas, she thought, and realized it gave her an odd sense of satisfaction. When she’d seen Slade tonight in his Western-cut jacket, his string tie and his white shirt, a lightning thrill had run through her. He had a rugged face, but to her he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. Everything about him tonight seemed larger than life, and she realized her attraction to him was becoming stronger, not lessening. Even while they sat in church listening to the sermon, it had been so strong she’d wanted to take his hand, feel his strength around hers. The feeling had been overwhelming.

  So overwhelming that now she hugged Dallas gratefully, glad for the familiar, thankful that he had always been a steady friend in an uncertain world. “Merry Christmas, Dallas,” she said as she leaned away from the hug.

  “Merry Christmas to you, too.” Dallas nodded to Slade. “Coleburn.”

  “Merry Christmas, O’Neill,” Slade said tersely, with not a lot of enthusiasm behind it.

  Dallas addressed Emily. “Mom said she was going to invite you to Christmas dinner tomorrow. Are you coming?”

  Emily had forgotten all about the invitation in her distinct awareness of Slade. “I haven’t discussed it with Slade yet. I told her I’d give her my answer when we returned from church tonight.”

  “Well, I hope you come. Are you going to the Diamonds’ New Year’s Eve party?”

  Turning to Slade, Emily included him in the conversation. “One of the ranchers, Amos Diamond, raises quarter horses. Every New Year’s Eve he has a party in his training arena. People come from miles around.”

  “It sounds like a nice celebration,” Slade remarked flatly.

  After a few more minutes of conversation, Dallas kissed Emily on the cheek and said good-night, then shook the minister’s hand and left.