Just the Man She Needed

by Karen Rose Smith

  Crossing to her son, Emily put her arm around his shoulders. “Mark, this isn’t something Slade can help. You have to try to understand.”

  “I don’t understand. You said you were going to be there and now you’re not.” He tore away from Emily and ran up the stairs.

  Slade ran his hand down over his face. “I know I’m letting him down, but I can’t wait till Saturday to leave. Hunter came home yesterday in somebody’s corporate jet. With the snow, something happened on the landing and the plane crashed into a truck. Hunter’s leg is broken. They took care of that, but he hasn’t regained consciousness and they don’t know if he will. His dad was pretty upset.”

  “Mark will get over this,” she said, not really sure he would.

  “Will he? And are you going to be able to manage while I’m gone?” Slade swore. “I feel as if I’m deserting you.”

  “You were going to leave at the end of the month anyway.”

  That simple truth hung between them. Once Slade left for Denver, she didn’t think he’d ever return. Men like him moved on and didn’t look back.

  “I’ve got to call the airline,” he said gruffly, pushing back his chair and going to the phone. “I’ll probably have to wait till morning to get a flight out.” Pulling out the nearest drawer, he found the phone book and laid it on the counter with a thump.

  Emily’s heart felt as if it were breaking in two. She loved this man. She didn’t want him to leave the Double Blaze or her life. But she knew there was nothing she could do about it if he did.

  Slade tried to talk to Mark that night and again early the following morning, but the seven-year-old didn’t understand why he had to leave. He only knew the man he’d looked up to was breaking his promise.

  Slade’s goodbye to Emily was brief. He hadn’t touched her or kissed her since New Year’s Eve because he thought that was the way she wanted it. But leaving her now was harder than he ever imagined it could be. He told her he’d call as soon as he knew when he was coming back, but there was a look in her eyes that made his gut clench. It was sorrowful and yearning, yet resigned, too. He’d packed everything, telling himself he didn’t know how long he’d be in Colorado.

  When he drove away, he glanced in his rearview mirror, and saw Emily standing on the porch gazing after him. On the flight to Denver, Slade felt as if he’d left a piece of himself back at the Double Blaze, but then his thoughts centered on Hunter and what he might find when he reached the hospital.

  It was late afternoon when Slade rented a car, drove to the hospital and found Hunter’s room. A lump clogged his throat as he stood in the doorway. A distinguished brown-haired gentleman with a receding hairline sat on one side of Hunter’s bed. His shirt and slacks were a bit rumpled, and Slade wondered if he’d spent the night at the hospital. On the other side of the bed, an ash-blond-haired woman with more gray than blond shining in her short curls kept vigil, holding Hunter’s hand. Then Slade’s gaze rested on the man in the bed. His leg was in a cast and elevated. There were bruises along one side of his face, and an oxygen tube rested at his nose. He appeared to be sleeping. Except for his black hair, Slade could have been looking into a mirror.

  There was a soft gasp, and Slade realized the woman had seen him.

  “Oh my, you do look alike.” She rose from her chair and came immediately to Slade.

  Taking off his hat, he extended his hand to her. “Slade Coleburn, ma’am.”

  Instead of shaking his hand, she clasped it with both of hers. “I’m Martha Morgan. We’re so glad you could come.”

  Her husband stood and crossed to him, too. “Nothing’s changed. Hunter’s stable, but the doctors don’t know if or when he’ll wake up.” Glancing over at his son, John Morgan’s face showed all of his concern. “Our daughter went home to change clothes and get something to eat. And Larry—he’s not coming in until tonight.” John put his arm around his wife, glanced at Hunter, then back at Slade. “We’ll go get some coffee.”

  The Morgans were going to leave him alone with his brother, and Slade was grateful for that. This wasn’t the way he intended their meeting. This wasn’t what he’d expected at all. After he forced a smile for the Morgans’ benefit and they walked down the hall, Slade came deeper into the room and stopped at the foot of the bed. His twin brother. He took the chair that John had left and sat down to keep his own vigil. He couldn’t seem to find any words. He couldn’t seem to say all the things he’d been thinking.

  All he could do was lay his hand on Hunter’s arm and murmur, “I’m here, Hunter.”

  Later that evening Slade met Hunter’s siblings. Like Hunter’s parents, Jolene greeted him warmly. She had her father’s dark brown hair. Larry Morgan, on the other hand, shook hands with Slade but seemed remote. Blond like his mother, he didn’t have her outgoing personality and kept his distance. Slade figured he was worried like they all were. All in all, the Morgans were nice, the kind of family Slade had always dreamed of having. Would Hunter even want Slade in his life when he already had so much family?

  On Friday afternoon, Slade sat by Hunter’s side again, while the Morgans took a break. John and Martha had insisted he stay at their house last night instead of at a hotel. He’d refused at first, but when they’d looked so upset at his refusal, he’d given in. Pulling him aside at one point, Jolene had told him that her mother needed someone to take care of. Since she couldn’t do anything for Hunter, Slade’s staying at the house would help her cope. So Slade had let Mrs. Morgan whip up an omelet for him after he’d taken her home while he told her something about the life he’d led. John had remained at the hospital throughout the night, coming home in the early morning to catch a few hours of sleep while Jolene sat with Hunter. After lunch Slade drove the Morgans back to the hospital.

  Around two John and Martha took a walk, giving Slade time alone with Hunter. When he checked his watch, Slade realized Mark would be building a snowman about now. He still felt bad about leaving, but as Emily had said, he’d be doing it eventually.

  He looked down at his brother, willing him to live, willing him to be healthy again. And suddenly he understood that maybe willing it wasn’t enough. Maybe he had to come right out and say it. Maybe he had to introduce himself to this person who had shared a womb with him.

  “Hunter, I know your mom and dad have been talking to you, but I kinda felt foolish about it. Maybe it’s time I forget about feeling foolish. You’re the brother I never knew, the family I never had. You can’t slip away now that we found each other. Hunter, can you hear me?”

  Watching closely, he examined his twin brother for any sign of acknowledgment, any sign that he wanted to come back to the world of the living. He thought he saw Hunter’s eyelashes flicker. “Can you hear me, Hunter? Show me somehow that you can. Come back here so I can get to know you.”

  At first Hunter Coleburn didn’t respond, but then a muscle under Slade’s fingers jumped, and his brother’s eyes fluttered open. They were intent on Slade, and Slade couldn’t speak for the thankfulness filling his heart.

  “It’s good…to meet you…brother.” Hunter’s voice was gravelly and slow.

  Slade wanted to shout for the Morgans and the nurse. Instead he just gripped Hunter’s arm and pushed the call button, saying, “Don’t you know better than to land when it’s snowing?”

  A grimace twisted Hunter’s lips. “I wanted to get home…and call you. Is the pilot okay?”

  Letting what Hunter had said settle in, Slade answered, “He’s fine. Shaken up mostly. How are you feeling?”

  “I have a hellish headache. And I’m thirsty.”

  Slade poured water from the bedside container into a glass and helped Hunter take a few swallows. Their gazes connected, and Slade felt a bond like he’d never known. “Your parents went for a walk. They’ll be back soon.”

  Hunter lay back on the pillows again.

  “I met your sister and brother last night,” Slade added, giving Hunter time to orient himself.

  But Hunter
was alert. “What do you think of all of them?” His voice was coarse, but steady now.

  Before Slade could answer, the nurse rushed in. When she saw Hunter was awake, she checked his vitals, nodded with a smile and said, “I’ll page the doctor.”

  When she’d gone, Hunter and Slade gave each other the once-over again, and then they both smiled. “It’s strange, isn’t it?” Hunter noted.

  “You mean facing yourself? Sure is. But I imagine we’re more different than alike. We’ve lived different lives.”

  “Maybe.”

  There was a long silence.

  “So…you were going to tell me what you think of my family,” Hunter prompted.

  “Your parents are great. Jolene made me feel welcome, too. I didn’t spend much time with Larry.”

  Hunter closed his eyes for a moment, then after a pause, opened them once more and gazed at Slade. “I always felt adopted. Because of that, I always felt…alone. I guess that’s hard to understand.”

  “I understand feeling alone. I have all my life. But now seeing you—it’s going to make a difference knowing you’re here.”

  Hunter nodded while they absorbed it and then he asked, “Did Mom and Dad tell you what happened back then? Why we were separated?”

  Slade shook his head.

  Hunter looked pensive. “There will be time for that. They should tell you themselves. How long can you stay?”

  As soon as Slade knew Hunter would really be all right, he had to get back to Emily and Mark. He had to. “Just a little while this time. I have to settle some things in Montana. But then I’ll be back.”

  First he had to make sure Emily could manage without him.

  The hospital bill for charges after Amanda’s birth had come the day Slade left, and Emily had known then she was in trouble. It wasn’t just the hospital bill. But that was the straw that caused her to take the real estate agent’s card from her wallet and call him. He’d been eager to talk to her, and she’d gone into town to meet with him the same day.

  Sunday afternoon, she sat at the table with receipts and bills from the past year spread around her. Pete had the Double Blaze mortgaged to the hilt, and she simply couldn’t keep up. It wasn’t merely the slipping further and further into more debt. She’d also been foolish to think she could care for the ranch on her own with two children. But she’d wanted to try. She’d grown up here and the thought of leaving…

  Tears came to Emily’s eyes, but she knew she couldn’t be weak now. She had to be strong to make a future for her children. They’d move into Billings, and she’d get a job clerking in a store or typing. Maybe she could take one of those courses on computers. She’d do whatever she had to to make her children’s lives secure.

  When the phone rang, her heart leaped, and she told herself not to expect to hear Slade’s voice when she picked up the receiver. Since Thursday after he’d left, she’d jumped every time the phone rang. But why would he call her if he wasn’t coming back? And she believed he wasn’t.

  “Emily?” asked a deep baritone she instantly recognized.

  “Hi, Slade.” She tried to keep the emotion from her voice. She tried to pretend he was simply a stranger she’d hired to help with the chores.

  “How are you?” he asked, concern in his tone.

  She realized she didn’t want his concern. She wanted his love for a lifetime. But she couldn’t have that, so she answered, “We’re fine.”

  After a pause, he asked, “Did Mark enjoy the Fun Festival?”

  “He didn’t go.” She’d coaxed and coaxed, told him she’d call Rod O’Neill. But Mark had been adamant. If he couldn’t go with Slade, he didn’t want to go.

  “He’s still mad at me.”

  “I’ve explained over and over again about your brother, but Mark was just terribly disappointed. How is Hunter?”

  “He’s going to be fine.”

  There was relief in Slade’s voice and something else, maybe almost a jubilance. If he wanted a connection, she supposed he’d found it. “That’s terrific.”

  “Emily?”

  “What?”

  “Stop talking to me as if I’m not me and you’re not you. I’ll be back soon.”

  “You’re coming back?”

  “I told you I would.”

  If he was coming back, she had some things to tell him. “I’m putting the ranch on the market, and I’m moving to Billings.”

  “You’re what? When did all this happen?”

  “The hospital billed me, and I was going through last year’s receipts for taxes. I can’t stay here, Slade. I just can’t. I have to build a life for Mark and Amanda, not try to hold on to the past.”

  Silence stretched between them until finally Slade said, “I’ll be back tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Oh, yes, there is. So don’t do anything you’ll regret until I get there. Understand?”

  She’d already done something she regretted. She’d lost her heart to Slade Coleburn.

  When the house came into sight, Slade stepped on the accelerator a little harder, knowing that wasn’t a good thing to do on the snow-packed road. But he’d missed Emily and the ranch more than he could ever say. The thought of her selling the Double Blaze just tore at him, though he wasn’t sure why.

  The conversation he’d had with Hunter and his parents about what had happened over thirty-one years ago seemed distant now. Although Hunter hadn’t said so, Slade could see his brother was bothered that the Morgans had left Slade behind back then. But as Slade had told Hunter later when they were alone, burned bridges were dangerous to cross. They’d found each other and that’s what mattered now. Hunter had agreed, but Slade had seen pain in his brother’s eyes that had nothing to do with his accident. It would take some time to learn about each other…to really get to know each other.

  After Slade parked his truck, he grabbed his duffel bag and hurried to the house. As he opened the kitchen door, the scene greeting him sent a surge of longing through him—Mark was sitting at the table doing his homework and, as always, great smells filled the kitchen. Emily was stirring something on the stove and all he wanted to do was go to her, lift her into his arms, kiss her and hold her. But instead he stood there and absorbed her smile. She looked happy to see him.

  “How was your flight?” she asked.

  He dumped his duffel bag on the floor, placed his Stetson on the rack, then hung up his jacket. “Just fine. Hey, Mark, how are you doing?”

  Mark laid down his pencil and mumbled, “I’m going up to my room.”

  But Emily frowned. “Slade greeted you, Mark. Don’t be rude.”

  The boy looked at his mother and then at Slade. “Hi, Slade.” Then he asked, “Now can I go to my room?”

  “Maybe you and I should have a talk first,” Slade said soberly. “I hear you didn’t go to the Fun Festival.”

  “I didn’t want to.”

  Slade went over to Mark, pulled out a chair and sat facing him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for you, but you should have let your mom call Rod. You should have gone.”

  “Rod isn’t…” He stumbled for a moment. “Rod isn’t like a dad. All the other kids had their dads there.”

  Mark’s words were like a punch in Slade’s gut, and he realized how much he’d hurt this little boy that he’d come to be so fond of. “Would you let me make it up to you?”

  “How?” Mark asked, looking interested.

  “Let me think about it tonight, okay?”

  Mark looked pensive for a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”

  Soft cries of Amanda waking came from the living room. Mark hopped up from his chair and ran, saying, “I’ll tell her you’re coming.”

  After Emily turned off the stove, she would have passed Slade, but he stood and caught her arm. “Let me give you the capital you need to keep this place running.”

  “You have no idea how much that would be.”

  “And you hav
e no idea how much I have saved. I’ve worked since I was eighteen and hardly spent anything.”

  After a good long minute, she asked, “And why would you give it to me?”

  “Because I don’t need it and you do.” He could have sworn she looked disappointed at his reason, but he didn’t know why.

  “I can’t accept money from you, Slade. I have to make a life for me and Mark and Amanda on my own.”

  “If you won’t take it as a gift, consider it a loan.”

  She vehemently shook her head. “The reason I’m doing this is because I’m tired of being in debt. Whether it’s a gift or whether it’s a loan, I’d be in your debt and that’s not acceptable to me. But don’t think I don’t appreciate your offer, because I do.”

  Amanda’s cries were still soft and nondemanding, more of a notice that she was awake rather than particularly hungry. So Slade kept his hand on Emily’s arm, wanting to touch her less casually, more intimately. “Do you want to sell the Double Blaze?”

  “No, I don’t want to sell it! But there isn’t another solution. I’ve already spoken to a real estate agent. I’m going into town to sign the papers tomorrow. It will go on the market next Monday.”

  “Why won’t you accept my help?” He wanted to shake her and kiss her and satisfy his longing for her all at the same time.

  “Because I’ve already accepted too much of your help, Slade. It’s time we both moved on.”

  He knew she was right, and moving on was exactly what he’d planned. But it didn’t sound right and it didn’t feel right.

  The cries from the living room became louder and more intense, and Emily pulled away from his clasp. Ever since New Year’s Eve, he’d felt the determination in Emily to put him out of her life. And he knew why. She was the type of woman who needed a permanent commitment. He had never known permanency of any kind. He’d be a bad risk, and he knew Emily wasn’t the type of woman to take risks. She was too protective of herself and especially of her children.

  He might be going back to Denver to see Hunter sooner than he’d expected.