Charlotte's Dilemma

by Diane Leyne

  She started to move on, but then a large white ball came flying in her direction. Without thinking, she caught it.

  JJ looked up and grinned as he saw her. He climbed out of the pool and walked over to her, standing in front of her in all his naked glory, his abs glistening and his hair slicked back. His cock was soft and hugged close to his body, but he stood there totally unselfconscious and apparently unaware of the stares of approval he was getting from both the women and men sitting around the pool. He held out his hand for the volleyball, and she handed it back to him.

  She saw him look at her and take in her closeness with Caleb. He’d probably also seen their kisses. She saw him smile, and then he half turned, calling out to the naked woman standing in the water.

  “Catch.” Then he tossed her the ball and dove into the pool, coming up under her and rising up so that she was sitting on his shoulders, her naked pussy pressed against the back of his neck before he tipped her backward into the water.

  Charlotte wanted to dive in after them and rip the blonde’s dyed hair out of her head and deflate her big fake boobs.

  Was that what JJ liked? She watched for a moment, and then deliberately, she turned to Caleb, clutching his arm and urging him toward the building. She didn’t think she had ever been that carefree. Thank goodness JJ couldn’t see how hard she was shaking as she walked away from the pool.

  Caleb looked at her with concerned eyes, freeing his arm from her grasp only to wrap it around her shoulders, glancing back toward the pool as he did so.

  “Keep walking. He’s staring daggers at me. He’s so jealous that he isn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to the naked woman beside him and she’s furious.” He chuckled. “Point Charlotte.”

  “I don’t want a point. I want him.”

  “They go back there and get him.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s twenty-seven and has dropped out of the rat race to live on a tropical island and look after boats for the rest of his life.”

  “And you are what, thirty-one, two? And it seems to me that you dropped out of the rat race to live on a tropical island.”

  “Thirty-five. And it’s only a temporary thing. Eventually, I’ll want something more challenging than this.”

  “So go work in the children’s clinic in St. Maarten a couple of days a week. They are going to need a replacement when I go. That’s the only thing I regret, not being able to help out there anymore. I was going to try to ease you into the idea, but now I’m asking outright. Any interest?”

  “Hell yes.”

  “Great. My next shift is on Wednesday. I usually sign out one of the smaller boats and drive myself. Ever piloted a boat?”

  “Nope.”

  “Can you drive a car?”

  “Yes.” She paused. “And a tank.”

  Caleb laughed. “Then you should be fine. I’ll give you some lessons. Will you come with me Wednesday?”

  “I will. You’re a good man, Caleb. Why didn’t we ever get together when we met before?”

  “I seem to recall someone shooting at the hospital put all hanky panky on hold. Plus I was only into men back then.”

  “And now you have Rey and Jen.”

  “And now I have Rey and Jen, and I’ve never been happier in my life. They are both romantics, although Rey will threaten to cane me for saying that, but he is probably the biggest romantic of the three of us. When I tell them about you and JJ, they will help me play Cupid.”

  “Caleb! I haven’t even decided that I want him back.”

  “Liar!”

  “Oh, god. Am I that transparent? But I told JJ that I only wanted to be friends-with-benefits. I didn’t want to pressure him into a relationship. I figured it was just a crush on his side and didn’t want him to feel obligated.”

  “You are an idiot, Dr. Montgomery, but aren’t we all fools for love? You love him and he loves you, and for some reason you are both too damned stubborn to admit it. I think I’ll rope in Andie into this plot, and Cy and Lydia, too. This could take a few weeks, and I might need to hand you off to her. I’d better tell Duncan first, though. He’s a pretty strict Dom. And, Charlotte, be sure to let me know when the wedding is. We’ll all be back for the ceremony!”

  “But…”

  “Yes?”

  “Oh, Caleb. If it works, you can give me away!”

  He smiled and hugged her tight, turning her slightly so she could see that JJ had donned his shorts and followed them, and was now watching with a disapproving look on his face. Caleb laughed and kissed her cheek.

  “Why don’t you have a seat? Our reservations are for seven and it’s ten to. I’ll be right back.” He turned to walk away, heading directly toward JJ, who looked like he wanted to flee. In fact, he looked like a naughty little boy who had been caught doing something he shouldn’t by a grown up. Then he pasted a fake smile on his face and stopped Caleb. Charlotte couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she saw Caleb laugh and pat the younger man on the back with a hearty slap before he walked away whistling while JJ now looked…Well, if this were a cartoon, he’d have a thundercloud over his head and it would be raining hard, just on him.

  He caught Charlotte’s gaze and made a visible effort to get his temper under control as he walked toward her, smiling through gritted teeth.

  Dinner was going to be interesting.

  Chapter 11

  Damn it all, thought Charlotte. It had been two weeks and nothing, nada, zip. She was no closer to JJ than she had been when she insulted him by trying to give him taxi money at hotel.

  She sighed and looked down at his sleeping form. They were back together, physically. They’d talked the first night after dinner. JJ was still clearly upset, but he admitted he still wanted her. He was cold and clinical when they talked, and she was tempted to run away, but she’d broken their relationship and she’d do whatever she needed to in order to make it right.

  Only, she didn’t know how to make it right. They’d fallen into a regular pattern, and she didn’t know what to do. He took her at her word, and they were just friends-with-benefits. He came by her room every night at ten and left promptly at six. He never joined her for a meal, never invited her out on the boat with him, and never spent any time with her during the day. Hell, she’d had to threaten to follow him back to his room to get him to spend the night with her. The first night, he’d made devastatingly hot love to her and then got up and left without a word.

  He’d done it again the next night. The third time, she was prepared and gave him the ultimatum. He had just laughed and thrown on his shorts, but she’d thrown on her own shorts and tank that she had placed on the chair beside her bed, just in case, and she followed him out the door. He’d looked at her determined countenance and had accepted defeat and returned to her bed. He didn’t made love to her again that night, just rolled onto his stomach and gone to sleep.

  After that, he stayed the night, but he’d only make love to her the one time and then go to sleep. He didn’t even spank her anymore, or threaten to tie her up or act all Dom-ish. Instead he was sweet and thorough, making sure that she came before he did, but he didn’t spank her again.

  She’d mentioned it casually, trying hard to sound like it didn’t bother her. He’d replied that to him, a D/s relationship was more intimate than what they had. She wasn’t looking for a Master. She had shown clearly she was looking for a boy toy, and she could take it or leave it. So she took it, and she didn’t know what to do to make things better.

  It was like he couldn’t keep away from her sexually, but all their intimacy, their emotional intimacy, was gone. She hadn’t realized how close they’d become in just a few short days or how precious it was to her until she lost it.

  On the other hand, the job was going well. Caleb had introduced her around, and the staff were all great.

  He’d offered to take her to the playroom one evening after dinner, and she’d demurred. She was hoping her first vis
it would be with JJ, but then Caleb’s time on the island was coming to an end, and if she couldn’t visit the playroom with JJ, at least she could go with Caleb and his partners.

  It had been interesting. She’d been shocked when she went with Cin, but now she knew better what to expect. Rey and Jen went off to play while Caleb walked her around the floor. She noticed him checking his watch and finally couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “I’ll be fine. Go!” He didn’t argue, clearly eager to get back to Rey and Jen.

  Charlotte sipped her Diet Coke and continued to walk around the room. She was wearing her staff T-shirt, so no one asked her to play. Finally, she sat down at a small table set up near the impact play area. Maybe she’d get some ideas and then try to lure JJ in here to try them out.

  First a triad played on the spanking bench. After they finished and cleaned up, a man and a woman came out. They were in the shadows, and Charlotte only half watched. They came out arm in arm and laughing in a very non D/s manner. But then the man ordered the woman to strip and get to her knees, and the energy changed. He was clearly in charge, and her posture was elegant and respectful as she knelt and kissed his feet.

  He helped her to her feet, planting a kiss on her cheek before he fastened her to the bench. It was only as he moved around to the other side of the bench that he came into the light and she realized who it was.

  She wanted to leave but couldn’t seem to make her feet work as she sat stone-faced watching JJ laughing and playing with one of the guests. Lydia was probably a few years older than Charlotte, with big natural boobs and long dark hair. She was nice, too. And smart. That made it worse somehow.

  Charlotte had talked to her the day before. She was a widow who had lost her Dom and husband five years ago. She was at the resort with her new boyfriend. They loved each other very much, but he was strictly vanilla. This was a bit of a compromise vacation so he could immerse himself in BDSM and see whether he could learn to give Lydia what she needed or if they needed to find some other way to make things work, such as her having a Dom do impact play with her but Cy handling the actual sex part.

  Lydia and Cy and Charlotte had chatted and they even told her about their plan and that they had just the Dom picked out. He was someone that Lydia knew from the scene back home, and Cy seemed to like him, too. Sex was off the table, with the Dom. He and Lydia had never played before, but he knew what she liked because he’d seen her and her late husband play. This Dom would demonstrate for Cy tonight, and if he thought he could handle it, he would start taking lessons and work up to topping Lydia on his own.

  Charlotte didn’t connect Lydia’s helpful Dom who was happy to take sex off the table with JJ. She’d thought Lydia was talking about one of the Doms who was currently in a relationship, like Mal or Mike, since the Dom was fine with sex being off the table. She never thought in a million years that it was JJ. Charlotte would have preferred it if he was playing with a young airhead with fake boobs and bleach-blonde hair.

  He didn’t have sex with the woman, but he tied her up and spanked her, encouraging Cy to tease her with his hand and with a vibrator as JJ progressed to a belt and a paddle and then a cane, alternating pain and pleasure until she’d come screaming so loud that all the other play had stopped.

  Charlotte swallowed hard. JJ was so…masterful. There was no other word for it. Out there on the playroom floor, he wasn’t a boy. He was a man, and he was in charge. Cy was probably twenty years his senior, but he deferred to the younger man, watching him closely, no jealousy in his expression, only respect and curiosity.

  Charlotte was shaken by a sudden desire to be the one tied down under JJ’s control, to be the one that he was driving higher and higher with desire. She looked around and saw that most of the Doms and subs had turned to watch JJ’s masterful technique as he played Lydia like a virtuoso playing a Stradivarius. Even Cy had been transfixed at the end, hesitating as Lydia screamed out her pleasure until JJ had urged him to claim Lydia in the most primitive way possible.

  Even worse was afterward when he carefully undid the restraints before wrapping her in a blanket and carrying her to a comfortable chair. He then handed her off to Cy, who cuddled her on his lap. JJ went and got a bottle of water, which he uncapped and held up to Lydia’s mouth, and then brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. Then he and Cy exchanged a few whispered words and shook hands before JJ walked over to the used equipment and cleaned up before he walked over to the bar and got himself a drink.

  That had clearly been aftercare. Caleb had told her about it and said that any responsible Dom did it, regardless of their emotional attachment or lack thereof with the sub they were playing with. It was one more aspect of safe, sane, and consensual play. That didn’t stop her from being even more jealous. They hadn’t had sex, but Charlotte found she was jealous of their closeness. Even with Cy part of the scene, it was clear that JJ cared about them both, focused both on Lydia’s pleasure and Cy’s need for knowledge.

  Maybe it was even worse than if he’d just topped and fucked a bimbo, she told herself. Then he’d be just the boy toy, no more involved with her than he was with Charlotte. Instead, he was smiling and happy and everything he wasn’t anymore with Charlotte.

  She stood, knowing now what she had to do.

  * * * *

  JJ watched Charlotte get up and leave and had to stop himself from rushing after her. He had an obligation to Lydia, and he took being a Dom seriously. She was just coming out of subspace and probably needed him to cuddle her for another half hour at least.

  He checked his watch. Nine fifteen. Plenty of time to get to Charlotte’s by ten. He wondered if she would let him in. He wondered if he should even bother. He’d spent the last fourteen nights in her bed pretending that he didn’t care anymore, looking for any sign that she thought of him as more than a boy toy, someone too young to take seriously, or maybe too poor to be taken seriously. At least she hadn’t tried to give him money again or buy him designer clothes.

  He could see that Lydia was coming out of subspace, so he walked about over and chatted for a few minutes before excusing himself again and walking over to Charlotte’s cabin. He stood at the door for ten minutes, waiting for something. He leaned forward, head against the door. He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t make love to Charlotte and pretend that it didn’t matter. He loved her, but she clearly thought of him only as a young stud. He didn’t understand why she insisted that he spend the night with her. She’d offered to come to his place, clearly imagining that he was staying in some sort of crappy staff quarters, unlike her nice doctor’s cabin, whereas that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  He made up his mind. If he told her the truth about himself, maybe it might make a difference. Would she like him better if she knew he wasn’t just the guy who looked after the boats and ferried the tourists around? Would he respect her if it did?

  He should just walk away and put himself out of his misery, but he couldn’t. He was addicted to her. He loved her. He would take whatever crumbs she threw his way, although after tonight, maybe she wouldn’t even give him that. He knew that playing with Lydia was a bad idea, but he’d talked to her when he picked her up from the airport. He knew her from Chicago. He’d seen her playing with her husband, and had gone to the funeral when he died. He couldn’t refuse her request to play. There was no sex involved, and he’d made her happy. It wasn’t something he usually did, but it was nice to be wanted and needed and not have to hide that side of him. And neither of them had wanted sex.

  He’d enjoyed giving Lydia pleasure out in the open, not sneaking around, pretending they didn’t mean anything to each other. Or rather, he had until he’d seen Charlotte, seen her expression of betrayal. She wasn’t in the scene and didn’t understand that he’d been acting as a Service Top. It had no meaning for him other than the fact he felt good about helping a friend. Or, maybe she wouldn’t care about the reasons. Would she respect him even less now? Was he just torturing himself spendin
g every night with her when they had no future?

  Sandy was due to give birth in six weeks. He’d stick around, he decided, until after the baby was born. If he put in his notice now, that would give Duncan time to find a replacement. Although, it wasn’t really putting in notice. When a person was part owner, they just made a decision and announced it. But he wouldn’t leave them in the lurch. He would spend the time getting his boat ready, and after Sandy gave birth, he was gone. Maybe he’d check out Hawaii. Or Bora Bora. Or anyplace where Charlotte wasn’t likely to be.

  He pushed back from the door. Each time he made love to her, it was harder and harder to pull away. He didn’t know how he would be able to leave when the time came, but he would find a way to do it or he’d truly be her boy toy and follow her around begging for whatever crumbs she would give him.

  Some Dom he was.

  There was only one thing he could do to get through the next few weeks until the baby came and he could leave. He had to stop making love to Charlotte. Now was the time to prove he could live without her. If it killed him, he would walk away and she’d never know that his heart was broken.

  JJ took a deep breath, turned, and walked away. He sniffled a little, but just muttered “darned allergies” as he dashed away the tears.

  * * * *

  After Charlotte checked the clock for the fifth time, she had to admit that JJ wasn’t coming. And that was good, she told herself. Offering to be friends-with-benefits had been a dreadful mistake, but he’d embraced the concept. Even though it had been her idea, she realized she wanted more and now he’d taken more off the table. She’d resolved to send him away, end things once and for all, break up with him. But then why did it hurt so damned much! Why was she laying in her lonely bed crying for someone she didn’t care about?