Inked Chaos

by Grace, M. J.

  Stifling his laughter, he turns to me. “Thank you for being so honest with me. It’s a novelty believe me. I’m used to people saying what they think I want to hear, instead of the truth. I understand now where you’re coming from, so let me address your points. Yes I cancelled flights and appearances. Yes, I live in a mad world, but it’s my way Birdie, not just the world I live in. I never used to be this way. You probably know a little of my history, that’s why I’m like I am. I live my life to the full, grabbing what I want with both hands. I’m not willing to let life pass me by.”

  I know what he’s referring to. It’s common knowledge that he had a bad childhood. His father was abusive, and when he eventually abandoned his family, it was left to AJs mother to raise him and his sister single-handed. It couldn’t have been easy, financially or emotionally.

  The first thing AJ did when he became famous, was to buy his mother a house, and set her up for the rest of her life. He put his sister Casey through college too, and she is now a qualified attorney. He took care of his family. It’s something I greatly admire in him.

  “You don’t know what I expect from you?” he continues, “Well, I had hoped that you would have gained some idea by now Birdie.” He says quietly smiling. “I want to see where this can go. You know I was attracted to you, and I told you why. You may think you’re ordinary, but to me you’re not. I’m drawn to you Birdie. Yes, at first I admit, it was the hair, and the legs, etc. I’m not going to deny that, but there was something about the woman walking towards me humming a song, something that pulled me to you. I jumped at the chance to have you stay in that apartment, knowing I was keeping you safe. I want to explore what we could possibly have, and I had hoped that you would be willing to take a chance on all the hype of my life, and explore it too. So tell me Babe, are you willing to take this chance, and see where this leads?”

  See, he’s done it again; plain speaking straight in at the deep end, taking my breath away. He’s put himself out there, laying it out without any illusion of what he wants. Telling me he wants to see what will happen between us; but is it what I want? I know people will think I’m crazy, even debating whether to take what he offers. However, with my newly acquired knowledge, of how I have been holding people at bay for the last few years. Do I feel prepared to give this a go? Knowing that my brick wall may come up and ruin everything. Or even worse, that the wall comes tumbling down, and I’ll find myself in too deep, with no defences.

  I know I’m staring at him, as my thoughts tumble around my mind, trying to find the words to tell him of my reservations.

  “There’re things in my past you don’t know about.” I state. “Things that make me apprehensive about relationships. I don’t know if I can take the risk of……..”

  “If you’re talking about your divorce, I know about that.” He interrupts. “I don’t care that you were married before. That’s all in the past, as is my history. We start today. I understand your being wary, so we take one day at a time. What do you say?”

  I gaze into his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that are staring at me so intently, willing me to agree, and I want to. I want to see where this leads, and not because it’s ‘AJ Lewis the famous rock star’, but because he’s shown me how thoughtful he can be. Yes, he can be intense and straight talking, but after James that’s almost like a breath of fresh air. He makes me laugh, and despite everything, I had a good time tonight.

  “Yes.” I whisper.

  “Yeah?” he repeats beaming widely.

  “Yes.” I reply nodding my head. “But we start today. A clean slate. Agreed?” I ask.

  “Totally.” He agrees, sounding relieved. “Now that’s all out-of-the-way. Tell me now the books finished, what’s next?” he enquires changing the subject, and I’m glad at his attempt to lighten the mood.

  “Well, I have a few more days left for sightseeing, then I’m heading home.” I answer, realising for the first time that I don’t want to go home. I love it here. The way of life, the constant sunshine, and Jen is here. I had really missed her before I came over, and although we haven’t spent every minute together while I’ve been here, it’s been comforting knowing she wasn’t too far away. We have spoken almost daily, and I’m going to miss her and LA, and yes I admit it, AJ too.

  “So how about tomorrow I take you out? Give you an insider’s view of LA and California so to speak.” He offers smiling.

  “I’d like that very much.” I reply happily.

  Is this really happening? How my life has changed over the last few weeks. I feel so lucky. I’m in LA. Living in a gorgeous house, which just happens to be occupied by a handsome rock star, who just happens to be taking me out tomorrow. Pinch me someone please, I must be dreaming.

  Talking of which, I feel now is a good time to call it a night. Glancing at my watch I see that it’s already after midnight.

  “If you don’t mind, I’m going to call it a night? What time are we heading out in the morning?” I ask rising to my feet.

  “How about we head out at nine?” He asks standing with me.

  “Sure. I enjoyed tonight, AJ. Thank you for dinner.” I say with a smile.

  I appreciate that I really did enjoy my evening in his company. Despite all the drama, he put me at ease and made me laugh. Paparazzi and fans aside, I had a wonderful time.

  “Goodnight.” I say and start to walk towards the door, only for AJ to grasp my hand, bringing me to a halt.

  “Goodnight Birdie.” he whispers and places his lips on mine in a gentle but firm swift kiss.

  I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. AJ just kissed me. A quick kiss, but a kiss all the same. He gazes into my eyes, squeezes then releases my hand. Shyly, I smile at him and head towards my room. Once there, I flop down on my bed too dumbstruck to even think about preparing for bed. AJ Lewis kissed me! Me! Jorgi Morgan, and boy what a kiss. Yes, it had been quick, yes it had been firm, but it still made my heart pound, and my body tingle.

  With a smile on my face I prepare for bed. Pausing to look at myself in the bathroom mirror, trying to see what he sees. I still don’t get it. I see nothing that would warrant the attention of AJ Lewis. Nonetheless, I’m going to run with this, and see where it goes. I don’t want to be a few years down the line wondering “what if?”

  I crawl into bed and fall asleep with a stupid grin stuck on my face.

  CHAPTER 10

  It’s been a hectic but wonderful few days. AJ kept good on his word to show me LA and the surrounding area.

  The first day we headed out on his Harley, travelling down to San Diego. We hit Belmont Park and acted like a couple of kids, jumping on all the rides. Surprisingly, no one seemed to comprehend it was him; or if they did, they didn’t believe their eyes, so we weren’t bothered by anyone. However, even if we had been, Tiny and another guy called Wade were with us, always a discreet distance away for our privacy, but close enough to deal with any trouble should it arise.

  We had wandered around the park, with AJ holding my hand or with his arm around me, having the time of our lives.

  Afterwards, we travelled to Seaport village, where we hit a restaurant and ate Avocado and Shrimp salad, before heading to Coronado beach; where we sat on the sand enjoying our time just chatting. I even indulged in my childhood hobby, and collected a few pretty shells I found.

  We rode home as the sun was setting, ending a magical day that I knew was one of the best I had ever experienced.

  At all times AJ had been attentive, and when we arrived back at his home to find the table set for a romantic dinner, he continued to be so. He has a way of making me feel like I’m the only girl in the world. With his brilliant conversation putting me at ease, and his humour making me laugh; I’ve seen more sides to AJs personality than I thought possible. He can be intense, and straight talking, but he can also be a goof and a goon, acting like a big kid.

  He is also highly intelligent, as I found out on our second day out; when we went to the observatory in Griffith Park,
and some of the museums in LA. His knowledge revealing to me again, the multifaceted person that is AJ Lewis. Then there is romantic AJ, the guy who holds my hand constantly, or has his arm around my shoulders, not afraid to show his affections.

  Often I’ve found myself reciprocating these gestures without even realising I was doing so, showing how at ease in each other’s company we have become.

  The first evening after dinner, we had sat on his couch close to each other, going over our day, when he had slowly leaned towards me and placed his lips to mine. Apprehensive at first, I had held back a little; but when his tongue touched my lips I had opened my mouth, and he had taken full advantage. His tongue touching and twisting with my own. Tasting each other slowly at first, exploring each other for the first time. It had soon become heated, with his one hand fisted in my hair, the other at the small of my back, holding me close as he devoured my mouth.

  I didn’t stand a chance against his passion. My mind and my body totally surrendered to the onslaught on my senses, and before I knew it, we were lying on the couch. His hands had made their way under my shirt, gently caressing the flesh of my back. My own starting to make their way under his T-shirt, feeling his flesh under the waistband of his jeans, when he’d suddenly raised his head.

  “Gotta slow down babe.” He’d whispered close to my lips.

  I’d opened my eyes and gazed at him. My lips felt swollen, my breathing laboured, and my mind befuddled. It took a while until I could focus on what he was saying.

  “Okay?” I’d whispered, not really understanding why he’d

  stopped.

  “I want to take this slow with you babe. It’s about more than just sex with you, do you understand that?”

  On seeing what must have been my confused expression, he’d said with a sigh.

  “Don’t get me wrong, I want you. Damn! Do I want you, but we take our time, go to the next step when it’s right. I don’t want you to have regrets about this further down the line?”

  “But…?”

  “Trust me in this Birdie. Please. It’s not easy for me, believe me. I want you so bad, but I’m right in this decision. Give me a kiss goodnight and go to bed, while I still have the strength to let you go.”

  I’d lay there gazing into his beautiful blue eyes. There aren’t many men who would be thoughtful and stop. It’s another side of AJ I’d experienced; his strong self-control. I would have gone the whole way and with the knowledge of this, I’d felt the heat of embarrassment rise in my face. The first date and he’d had me on my back. Humiliation burnt me to the core, and I’d tried to rise off the couch to make a hasty getaway.

  “Hey! What the ...?” he’d said as I’d pushed at his chest to move him away from me, failing miserably as he’d grabbed my arms. “Birdie, tell me what’s wrong.”

  “This.” I’d burst out.

  “What?” he’d exclaimed. “Birdie I don’t understand.”

  Looking at him, I had seen his anger, and it was myself who had caused it.

  “This...us…we…” I’d stammered, unable to meet his gaze. “It’s our first date!”

  “Birdie look at me.” Tentatively, I’d lifted my gaze to his. “I know you’re not easy, if that’s what you’re implying. If that was the case we wouldn’t be here now. What we have is different. I thought you understood that. That’s why I want to go slow, and not rush things while we explore this. Do you understand?”

  I’d nodded my head. For a moment there my barriers had shown their ugly face, taunting me with my own self-doubt, afraid of what he would think of me. However, as usual, AJ had been open with me about his feelings, stopping those barriers from slamming home before they had chance to.

  “Birdie?” AJ called. I’d peeked at him from under my lashes, to find him staring down at me, with an anxious frown on his face. “Are we clear on this?” he’d asked.

  “Yes. I’m sorry, I overreacted again. Forgive me?”

  “Nothing to forgive.” He’d said, squeezing his arms in a swift hug. “Now give me a kiss goodnight, and shift your luscious ass off to bed.” He’d replied.

  Laughing, I had put my lips to his, and he had quickly deepened the kiss into a hot and heavy goodnight smacker, before releasing me.

  “Night baby.” I’d whispered, as I stood to move towards the door, noticing his eyes widen and his lips smile. It’s then that I realised, that it was the first endearment I had used with him; having previously only called him by his name. So first the loving gestures, and now the endearments had become easier for me to use.

  I had gone to bed and fallen asleep with a smile on my face, and awoken the same way.

  Last night had been much the same, with AJ calling a halt to our lovemaking, before either of us could become too out of control. Which I have to say, made me feel both a mixture of relief and disappointment.

  His kisses are the best I have ever known; like a drug that I find intoxicating and addictive. Once he starts to kiss me, I don’t want him to stop. So it’s good that he is the strong one.

  Now here I am, sitting at the breakfast bar, with the knowledge that I must fly home tomorrow; with AJ flying out to New York in preparation for his rearranged TV appearance. So today is our last day together, although not even a full day as AJ has a television appearance later this evening.

  Just a few days together, and it feels like it’s been forever. How can he become such a huge part of my life, in such a short space of time? There is no denying the fact I am going to miss him, his smile, his laughter and even his forthright manner.

  I smile and turn my head as I hear him entering the kitchen, only to feel my smile slip a little, when I notice the expression on his face. He walks over to me, kisses me lightly on the lips with a “Morning babe” before walking around the breakfast bar, and proceeding to pour himself a cup of coffee.

  “Is something wrong?” I ask as he walks back towards me, and I watch as he places a tabloid newspaper on the counter in front of me.

  “Check out page six.” He says as he sips his coffee, keeping his eyes on me over the rim of his mug.

  I look questioningly at him, but begin flipping the pages until I reach the said page, then quickly with shock, look at AJ. For what my eyes see, is a blow by blow photographic account, of the last two days of our lives. Belmont Park, the beach, eating in the restaurant, Griffiths Park everything. Even climbing on and off his Harley. Not once did I see a cameraman. Not once.

  “I never saw anyone with a camera, did you?” I ask him, to see him studying me intently.

  “Nope. That’s where long lenses come in handy. I thought we had gotten away with it. I was obviously wrong. I’m sorry Birdie. It means you’re well and truly out there in the spotlight now.”

  Lowering my head, I begin to read that even as yet with my name unknown, that I was AJ’s new girlfriend, and that we had spent several days in each other’s company. How AJ had been attentive, and affectionate, seeing as in nearly every shot AJ was either holding my hand, or his arm was around my shoulders. They knew what we had eaten, but worst of all, it stated that I had moved in with AJ, and they congratulated him on his “quick moves.”

  “Oh my God.” I whispered stunned.

  “The good part of this, is that you’re leaving for the UK and I’m off to New York tomorrow. Being apart and out of the spotlight, will hopefully put them off the scent for a while. By the time you’re back in LA, they will, with any luck, have forgotten all about us.”

  I look back at the photos of us both. I have to admit we look good together. We also look really happy. In every shot we are smiling at each other, or obviously laughing out loud.

  I’m suddenly conscious that I don’t want to lose this, we have had so much fun in the last few days. I don’t want anything to spoil what we have shared, and what seems to be a promise of us. A promise that I thought I would never have the chance of.

  Somehow, over the last few days he has found his way through my defences. There isn’t just a crack
in my wall, but an enormous gaping hole, and the thought of us being separated is not a pleasant one. However, I’m aware that the timing is going to be advantageous. If it gives the situation time to cool down, then in the long run, surely it can only help the situation. Can’t it? I glance at AJ to find he’s watching me with guarded eyes.

  “We look happy.” I blurt out spontaneously.

  “Cos we are babe.” He replies, a smile lighting up his face. Placing his coffee mug down, he moves to stand behind me, enfolds me in his arms and rests his chin on my shoulder, gazing down at the pictures.

  “There it is in full colour. Evidence that what we have, even though it’s new, is all good and it will continue to be so, I swear.”

  “I’m going to miss you, you know?” I murmur, deciding to be truthful.

  “Same here Birdie you know that, but we’ll talk every day. It’ll only be a few weeks, and we’ll be reunited in London. Then you’ll be back here in LA, and we can spend some quality time together.”

  “Okay.”

  “But you’re still here now, so what do you fancy doing today?” he inquires with a squeeze of his arms.

  Feeling his arms around me, I realise that all I want to do, is spend the day with him here at the house. Just the two of us with no interruptions.

  “Can we stay here? Just enjoy each other’s company?” I ask.

  AJ pulls me to my feet and turns me to face him. Placing both his hands on my cheeks, he places his lips to mine in a swift kiss.

  “That, would be just perfect.” He answers. Then lowers his lips to mine to deepen the kiss. Of their own volition, my hands move. One rising to his head sliding into his hair, the other moving around his back, drifting under his T-shirt feeling the warmth of his skin.

  With a groan, he tears his lips from my own, and leans his forehead against mine.

  “How about you go change into your bikini, and we go have a swim?” He suggests on a sigh.

  “Swim?” I question.

  “Yeah, it’ll help me cool down, and babe I need to cool down.” He retorts smiling.