Escaping the Blackness (A Cooper Brothers Novel Book 1)

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  This is too good not to record and then spread around to our families.

  The Cooper brothers scowl as Riley beams. She notices Cole’s face and says, “You don’t like your dress? You wanna switch for the pink one?”

  That gets them all laughing and gifts me with the perfect picture. That’s going on the mantle as soon as we get back.

  Some DCA guys come out of our office and do a double take at the table. They’re professionals so they don’t laugh, but they do cough and hurry out of the room.

  The Cooper brothers are oblivious though. They’re focused on Riley as she flits around effortlessly. She’s light and giddy as she pretends to fill cups. The guys play along and there’s nothing for me to do but stand here and watch.

  I could live this life every day and never want for anything else. I don’t want to have children. I’m terrified of what kind of mother I’ll be. The woman who gave birth to my sister and me was evil to the core. She died not long after I was born so I didn’t have to experience her, but Shannon did. She was horrible to my sister until the day she helped plan a hit that killed Shannon’s father and almost killed Shannon.

  I share DNA with that hideous monster, and I’m not keen on the idea of spreading that around. But I could be Riley’s mother. I could hold her at night while I read her stories. I could help her with her homework in the evenings. I could teach her about make-up and shopping. I could kiss her cheek before I settle her veil over her face on her wedding day. I could help her welcome her own children into the world. I could spend every day loving her with pride. I want that.

  I want all of that.

  I just need to know if Jake wants me to have that with him.

  My best friend shook the walls with Erica. Literally. I’m smart enough that I sent Riley and Cara downstairs while Mitch and Erica fell into his room as I packed for our trip. Earplugs wouldn’t have helped. Two pictures fell onto Riley’s bed as cries of ecstasy filled the air.

  Now Mitch and Riley are napping as I drive south with Cara at my side. I haven’t let go of her hand since we pulled away from my waving brothers. I explained the situation in a little more detail once Erica and the team left. My brothers understand and practically pushed us out of the house by the time we were done.

  With thirteen days until Christmas, I’m hoping that Roman can get this dealt with so I can spend the holidays with my family. I want that more than anything at this point.

  I still haven’t met the little Coopers yet. We were supposed to do that this weekend. Now instead of having tea parties and bonding with siblings I abandoned, I’m headed to some cabin in the woods.

  “You’re tense,” Cara says with concern.

  “I’m fine,” I grunt, trying not to show her she’s right.

  She runs her thumb across my knuckles slowly, tenderly. I let the rhythm pull me away from my worries for just a moment.

  I’m with Cara.

  Riley’s safe.

  My family is together and protected.

  “So what’s the plan after you graduate?” I ask lightly.

  “Grad school,” she answers through a smile.

  “In psychology?” That’s what she’s studying now. I’m sure there’s more to it, but I only have the basics from the emails my mom sent me.

  “Social work. I looked at law school, but I wanna try to help kids in a different way.”

  It makes sense that she would consider law school. Her sister’s an attorney. A few of her brothers are attorneys. One of her fathers is an attorney. It runs in her family and she’d have no trouble finding a job since her family’s law firm is the biggest and most successful in the Midwest.

  But Cara looking out for kids on a personal level…that’s what she was meant to do in life.

  “You’ll be an awesome social worker, sweetheart,” I compliment her, squeezing her fingers.

  “What about you? Do you think you’ll stay with the DCA long term?”

  “I don’t think I’d fit anywhere else.”

  I sneak a peek at her and find her stunning features calm as the snowy landscape passes us by.

  “When are you going back to Virginia?” she asks quietly.

  “I’m not.”

  “I don’t understand,” she replies, turning to face me.

  “I’m stayin’ with you, Cara. I’m not leaving again. I told my boss that I’ll report from the Kansas City station. I can be hubbed anywhere. My ops don’t require me to be near headquarters. As long as I can get on a plane quickly, the DCA doesn’t give a shit where I am,” I explain.

  “You shouldn’t do that for me,” she whispers.

  I yank her hand, pulling her halfway across the console and take my gaze off the road to look into her eyes.

  “I should do everything for you,” I growl.

  I hold her nervous emerald gaze for a few beats before looking out the windshield again.

  She doesn’t respond with words, instead, she unbuckles her seatbelt and stretches her long arms around my neck. Her lips press firmly against my stubbled jaw. I inhale her beachy scent and force myself not to drag her into my lap.

  When she nips my ear before returning to her seat, I groan and shoot her a scowl. She snickers at me as I interlace our fingers, bringing her knuckles to my mouth.

  “Be good, sweetheart” I mutter into her skin.

  I see a hint of mischief in her eyes that has me squeezing her fingers firmly.

  “Be good,” I order gruffly.

  She sighs and settles back down as I leave our hands in my lap.

  “We should stop and get a Christmas tree,” Cara suggests.

  “Okay.”

  I had no idea agreeing to something so seemingly simple would turn into what we’re currently doing.

  Two guys are tying a tree on top of the SUV while Mitch and I are cramming bags of decorations in the trunk on top of our luggage, toys and groceries. We’re in a seven-seat vehicle and we’ll be lucky to fit our four bodies in with all the shit we have.

  I want to be frustrated, but the look on Riley’s face only brings me joy. She’s beaming a dimpled smile at me as she and Cara wait next to the SUV, snow lightly falling around us.

  One of the guys loading up the tree keeps staring at Cara. Men do that. She’s striking so it’s to be expected. But the look in his eyes is more than appreciation. It’s hunger.

  Leaving Mitch with a few bags, I stride over to my girls. I pick up Riley and settle her on my hip while I pull Cara in for a quick kiss. Her arms go around my waist as she smiles up at me.

  “Happy?” I ask softly.

  “Very,” she says with a contented sigh.

  “What about you, Princess? Are you happy with all of this? I don’t think I can fit another thing in the SUV,” I tease, nuzzling her neck.

  She giggles loudly and tries to push away from my assault. “I’m happy! Daddy, stop! Uncle Jase, get me,” she pleads happily.

  Mitch dramatically pulls her from my arms, cuddling her to his chest.

  “I’ll save you, Princess,” he says tenderly.

  Then he tosses her in the air causing her to squeal with delight. He does it a few more times as the guys dealing with the tree finish up.

  “Was that necessary?” Cara asks, indicating her head toward Riley’s camouflage-patterned car seat as Mitch loads her in.

  “Yeah,” I reply in a duh voice.

  Cara chuckles at me before moving out of my arms to climb in the passenger seat. Once she’s settled, I shut the door and round the hood almost bumping into the guy who doesn’t know when to quit staring.

  I give him a quick tutorial with a meaningful glare before sliding behind the wheel.

  “Was that necessary?” Cara asks again as I pull out of the parking lot.

  “Some people need to be taught lessons,” I respond.

  “He didn’t punch him, which I was about five seconds away from doin’,” Mitch points out.

  Riley’s completely unaware of our conversation with her head
phones on as she watches Beauty and the Beast.

  “He didn’t do anything that warranted bein’ punched,” Cara scoffs.

  “You were with your man and Riley, who that fuckwad probably assumed is your kid,” Mitch argues, sitting forward so his face is between our seats. “If you’re any man at all, you respect that shit when you see it. You’re a gorgeous woman, Cara. I’d have to be blind and brain damaged not to notice. But you’re taken. It’s obvious, even when Coop’s not with you. You carry yourself in a way that says you’re untouchable. Any man can see that shit from a mile away. You fuckin’ respect that or expect to have your ass handed to you. The fact that your man was standin’ right there was blatant disrespect that deserved way more than the look Coop gave that dick.”

  Cara slowly turns to look at Mitch as he preaches, shock and awe slipping across her features.

  “You feel pretty strongly about this,” she says with interest in her raspy voice.

  “There’s nothin’ in life without respect. Too many men have forgotten that. It makes me sick,” he spits.

  “How does that work when you jump beds like you’re competing in the Olympic event for pussy wrangling?”

  “I don’t lie to women.”

  “And you’d never go after another man’s woman?”

  “Cut my dick off before I’d do that shit,” he huffs.

  “When you finally finish sowing your wild oats, you’re gonna be an awesome boyfriend, Jase Mitchell,” Cara compliments, leaning around to kiss his cheek. “Thanks for havin’ my back.”

  “Always,” he replies through a kind grin before sitting back and locking his smoky eyes with mine in the rearview.

  He cares about my woman, not only because she’s mine, but because she’s good. Good for me. Good for Riley. And good for Mitch.

  “Do you feel the same way as Mitch?” Cara asks me, looking out the windshield.

  “About respecting another man’s woman?” I clarify.

  She nods.

  “All women should be respected, no matter if they have a man or not. I’ve lived in a world dominated by men and been at the top of the pack. I would never lower myself to the level of interfering with a relationship. It’s fuckin’ cowardly.”

  “I guess I don’t have to worry about you cheating on me when you’re away on ops then,” she says quietly.

  I quickly snag her bicep and pull her as close to me as I can get her.

  “You’ve been it for me since you were seventeen, sweetheart. I saw perfection that day and nothing will ever look as good for as long as I live,” I state firmly.

  “Jake, I’m not perfect,” she argues with a hint of shame in her voice.

  We have so much to sift through in our relationship. One conversation isn’t going to cut it. Not even a hundred would. But I won’t allow her to see herself as tainted goods. She’s perfection in my eyes because of the fissures of hurt that run through her, not in spite of them. It’s her strength that mesmerizes me. Try as they might, year after year, none of the monsters that came for Cara could break her.

  “You. Are. Perfect,” I growl, gazing deeply into her hypnotizing green eyes where tears are now pooling.

  I can’t continue watching her stunning face, but Cara lays her head on my shoulder as she releases a ragged breath, staying close the way I need her. Interlacing our fingers, I concentrate on the road while enjoying the weight of her body against mine.

  Twenty minutes later, I wind and weave the SUV through towering trees on a plowed dirt path. It’s not a road. Anyone coming here has to know where they’re going to be able to find it. The SUV bumps and heaves as we disappear further from sight. After fighting my way through a foot of untouched snow for ten minutes, we arrive at our log cabin.

  It’s pitch black now that night has descended. The tree canopy is so dense, not even the moonlight can breakthrough.

  I leave the SUV running with the headlights shining on the porch as Mitch hops out, gun in hand.

  “Be right back,” I say to Cara, kissing her lips briefly before glancing in the back to see Riley asleep again, a little grin on her face.

  My girl is tired a lot. Her little body’s been through too much and is demanding recuperation. I fucking hate that for her.

  I climb out, sinking deeply into the blanket of snow. I pull my weapon from my waist band and a small flashlight from my pocket before I make my way around the south side of the cabin in the opposite direction of where Mitch went.

  I listen attentively as my boots crunch. Animals dart away, but I only hear Mitch moving in the forest. I circle the humble log cabin and meet up with him at the edge of a steep drop-off several hundred yards from the safe house.

  “Only found animal tracks. No one’s been here since the snow fell last week,” Mitch informs me as I nod in agreement.

  “Go get the lights on and I’ll unload the girls. Start a fire if you can. It’ll be fuckin’ cold in there,” I instruct as we move back toward the front of the cabin.

  Mitch disappears on the dark covered porch, tugging his keys out of his pockets. All of our team safe houses use the same master key. It makes our lives simple.

  I pull Cara’s door open and help her out before scooping Riley against my chest, hurrying her toward the house. She sleeps so deeply. I’m amazed by her ability to be this free. Sleeping is one of the hardest things to accomplish after trauma. Demons that haunt you grow fangs in the night. But since the first few nights after Chicago, Riley’s slept peacefully every time her eyes have shut.

  The wood door squeaks a little as I push it open, waiting for Cara to go inside. Mitch is circling the house, weapon out as he turns on every light in the place.

  It’s a simple space. A small galley kitchen to the right and a combined living-dining room straight ahead. There are three bedrooms. Two off to the left down a short hallway. The other is off the living room.

  This is a safe house not a vacation home. The furniture is basic but functional, nothing spectacular. At the end of the room, Mitch starts the fire and I stride over to the green and red plaid couch. I lay Riley down and cover her with a caramel-colored fleece blanket, watching her closely for a few moments as she continues to snore softly.

  “It’s all electric with baseboard heaters. It’s gonna take a while to warm this place up,” Mitch says.

  “Stay here with her,” I tell Cara. “Mitch and I can unload the SUV.”

  She does what I say without question, settling near Riley’s feet and placing a glove-covered hand on her leg.

  “We could’ve just cut a tree down,” Mitch muses as we remove the Christmas tree from the roof.

  “I didn’t bring my ax,” I joke.

  We chuckle as we lug the thing into the living room, settling it upright in the corner. This will have to be decorated tomorrow. We’re all wiped from the travel.

  It takes us a few trips, but we’re finally dropping the last bags after twenty minutes of work. Mitch and I know how to travel light. Having Riley and Cara with us means we’re beyond weighed down. I thought it would make me nervous having them with me when I need to be in full agent mode. It does. I’m a ball of nervous energy, because if I fuck up, they’ll be in the line of fire. But I find it comforting to gaze over at them warming in front of the fire. They’re safer with me than anywhere else in the world.

  I just have to trust myself.

  When Cara hears me shut and lock the door, she climbs to her feet, peeling out of her puffy white ski jacket.

  “I’ll start dinner while you guys put stuff away,” she says, grabbing a few of the grocery sacks as she enters the kitchen.

  Mitch snags his bag and heads toward the lone bedroom while I go into the small kitchen.

  “You doin’ okay?” I ask, snaking my arms around Cara’s waist from behind.

  She nods. “Just tired.”

  “I can cook if you wanna lay down,” I suggest, feeling the weariness wafting off her lithe frame.

  “I’d like to do it, if you do
n’t mind,” she responds quietly.

  “I don’t mind, but I can tell you’re wiped. Let me take care of you, sweetheart,” I urge her.

  She spins in my arms to face me, her eyes alight with fire.

  “You are takin’ care of me. Now let me take care of you,” she insists, pressing her lips to mine.

  I tug her ponytail to the side and deepen the kiss, running my tongue along hers. I’m hungry, but it’s not for food. I’m starving for the flavor of my woman mixed with mint. I absorb the feeling of her warm body pressed the length of mine. Cara clings to the collar of my leather coat as I feast on her. I’m controlling every flick and movement while she follows.

  Dominating.

  That’s what I’m doing. I’m dominating her in this small space. I need this right now. I may need this every moment for the rest of my life. This powerful, unbreakable woman being putty in my hands is intoxicating my every sense.

  A moan filters into my mouth and I groan in response, fisting her hair tighter as my grip on her hip increases.

  I missed six years of this with her. Six fucking years without this sound. Without this taste. Without this feeling burning a hole in my gut.

  I’m an idiot.

  Cara rips her mouth from mine, panting labored breaths. I lean my forehead against hers as her eyes flutter open. I watch her long lashes lift and her desire-filled eyes lock on mine, which I’m certain are milk chocolate pools of sexual need.

  “Thank you,” I rumble.

  “For what?” she breathes out raggedly.

  “This. All of this, sweetheart. You bein’ here, in my arms, in my life again. Thank you for this second chance.”

  She’s quiet for a while, taking in my words. I hold the connection with her eyes, our hearts slowing as our breathing evens out. The passion never fades though. It stays between our bodies, a constant flame flickering.

  “Thank you for coming home,” she says tenderly, brushing her lips across mine. “I missed you so much.”

  I constrict my arms around her and she nuzzles into my neck, her breath raising goosebumps across my skin.

  I never thought I’d be in a secluded, tiny cabin again. Jake Rivers’ life ended years ago in a space almost identical to this. That place was cloaked in blackness, forcing me to survive at every turn.