Love, Lies and Lemon Cake

by Jayne Bartholomew

  “Would you like to join me?”

  “I… it’s… “

  Mark waved over to the waitress who deftly set another place for her boss before letting the kitchen know to make sure they gave the couple a good cut of beef.

  He poured Pam a glass of wine.

  “I’ve been absolutely miserable since you made it clear that you didn’t want me because of our mutual commitments. Well, I don’t have any commitments now and as it happens I rather like yours so how about we give us a go?” Mark took her hand over the table.

  “But what happened?”

  “I broke up with her because I didn’t feel for her what I feel for you. The break-up went amazingly well actually; it turned out the wedding was more of a media exercise than anything else.” He took a sip of wine. “There’s still going to be a wedding but her friend Tarquin will be the groom instead of me. It’s perfect really, they can run stories about how I was just a decoy while the real love story went on in the background. Tarquin goes into the whole male grooming thing so he’ll look much better in the photos than I ever would have.

  “Look, I don’t know if you could grow to have feelings for me or what’s going to happen in the future but I do know that I’d like to at least give us a try. Or, if you’re not sure then how about I move back in and ply you with passion punch every evening?” He gave her a wicked grin.

  “But she was a rich, famous, super model, Mark. How on earth do you go from someone like that…” Pam blushed furiously, “to someone like me?”

  Mark leaned closer. “Well, I realise I’m trading up but if you give me a chance I promise to do my very best to be the man you deserve and, if you’ll let me, a provider for your family. I love you, Pam, and I think I could make you as happy as I feel when I’m with you. What do you say?”

  “But she was a super-model!” cried Pam.

  “That’s just a job.” Mark frowned. “You’re beautiful, and for you it comes naturally. You could out-shine any woman, on any catwalk, just with one of your smiles; and the fact that you don’t know that makes you even more gorgeous to me. I want to be the last one to see your smile at night and the first one to see it in the morning. Is that all right with you?”

  Pam squeezed his hands in hers. “Well, when you put it like that,” she giggled, “yes, that sounds more than all right.”

  Edward looked across his congregation and cleared his throat. He had delivered hundreds of sermons but none more important than this one. Of the big hitters in a vicar’s armoury the Sanctity of Marriage was up there with the best of them. In the past he had delievered one of these sermons when he’d had a worrying number of adultery confessions. This time it was personal.

  It looked like there was a full house today, which wasn’t really surprising given that at this time of year parents were trying to get their children into the local school. Still, he could see Penny smiling encouragingly at the front and Geoff sitting with his mother at the back so everyone he really wanted to be there was. He put his papers in order and began.

  Penny wasn’t listening to the sermon. As soon as she’d realised it was the Marriage Is Sacred one she zoned out. Having listened to it in draft, while Edward practised it in the shower and countless other times in this parish and the others before it, she could practically recite the thing herself. No, Penny was mentally walking down the sun lotion aisle at the supermarket; she was wondering how toned she could get for her swimming costume and her heart was soaring at the thought of having Edward all to herself for a week. Just her, Edward and a luxury beachside hut with its own infinity pool. At the thought of what they could get up to in all that privacy she started to blush and quickly looked down in embarrassment.

  Catching the blush and misreading it for guilt, Edward powered on through. He waved his hands around in emphasis and raised his voice at the good bits. He felt that as he’d got through to Penny he would now concentrate on Geoff and the sermon moved smoothly on to the sin of those that broke up happy homes.

  Geoff wasn’t listening. He only went to church for his mother’s sake and usually used the time to meditate on life in general and plan the week ahead for work. He did some of his best thinking on Sundays. Today he was also thinking of the holiday he would shortly be taking with Luke. Having followed Edward’s advice he had initiated The Chat and it had gone fabulously well, so much better than he had anticipated, in fact. They had both agreed that what they had was fun but not enough to rock a marriage, and his lover had made it very clear that while he had a spouse that turned a blind eye there was no question that they would ever want a divorce at any point in the future. Geoff nodded gently to himself; things had turned out very well indeed.

  The sermon rumbled on. Edward had gone on to autopilot after seeing Geoff apparently agreeing with him. Success! He allowed himself a moment of congratulation as he saw young Mark sitting at the back. This will give him something to think about, he thought, something to inspire him for his marriage to that model. Edward had lost track of when that was going to be but it must be soon. He rounded things off by reminding people that marriage was for life and once you found that person that made you feel complete you should hang on to them in this life until the next.

  Mark wasn’t listening. The kids had asked to stay with their grandparents for the weekend and Pam had been happy to let them. In just five days it would be the first time they had really spent alone together and he couldn’t wait. He knew that most of the time would be spent laughing about silly things and the other half, well, he had looked into a couple of shopping bags that Pam had been quietly putting away and was pretty confident that the whipped cream was not going to be used in the kitchen.

  Edward brought the congregation into prayer and was particularly pleased to see Mark on his knees giving thanks with tears streaming down his eyes. Clearly he had underestimated the power of his sermon.

  Andy wanted to do something for Hilary to thank her for all the little touches that she put in around the house. The way she looked after his cholesterol by hiding the cake bought in for guests and the way that nothing was too much trouble; he even discovered a heater in the garden shed that she must have put there in case he got cold tinkering around. If it were possible to use a time machine and kidnap a 1950s’ housewife then that was what was living in his home.

  Yes, Andy knew how hard she worked to keep him happy and he had an idea what he might be able to do for her.

  Hilary watched Andy humming to himself as he bustled around the cottage tidying up. While the doctors had urged caution, she knew he was preparing for Laura’s return; his excitement was almost tangible.

  She was excited too, obviously, and relieved in equal measure, but a part of her was already in mourning for the life she’d created in the small village. As soon as the family were able to function without her she would be a spare part, admittedly useful but ultimately in the way. Hilary hated the idea that she might be seen as the relative who couldn’t take a hint and she resolved to make her departure as guilt free for everyone as possible.

  Inside, her head was spinning at the thought of going back to her quiet, dull, little life.

  July

  Humming tunelessly to himself, James went into the kitchen to make the sandwiches that he and Kate would take to the village fete. He flicked the radio on and, secure in the knowledge that he was alone in the house, allowed himself to dance badly while rummaging in the fridge. Hands full of assorted foodstuff, he moved over to the counter top and as he executed a spin one of his tomatoes rolled out of his arms and onto the floor. He dumped what he was carrying on the side and then bent down to retrieve the escaped item.

  A brief sparkle to his left caught his attention and he put his hand under the cupboard to bring it into the light.

  It was one of Kate’s star earrings that she’d been wearing that morning before she left to paint in the canal boat. He knew she’d gone out because he’d heard the door slam a few minutes before making lunch. James stood up without
taking his eyes off the star, trying to figure out how it had got there.

  It was the last thing he saw before Ryan silently crept up from behind and knocked him out.

  “Hey, Kate,” called out Ryan as he aimed a kick to James’ torso, “looks like your new boyfriend doesn’t have any objections to us spending time together.” He dragged the inert body into the adjoining garage before moving behind one of the sofas in the lounge area. Ryan bent down to hoist Kate into a standing position.

  She had black tape over her mouth and her hands and ankles were bound; a thin trickle of blood from her ripped ear stained her top. She looked, wild-eyed at Ryan.

  “I’m sorry about your ear but you really didn’t give me much of an option, did you? If you’d just done what I’d asked you to do in the first place, and come with me, then we could have kept things friendly between us.”

  He left her propped against the sofa while he rummaged in the cupboards for alcohol which he found without difficulty. Half a bottle of brandy, left over from Christmas, was uncorked and he drank deeply from it.

  “Not bad. Something to finish off later. Stop crying, Kate. You always look ugly when you do that and no one’s around to hear you. Oh, for God’s sake…” He pulled the tape from her mouth as she began to choke on her tears; she whimpered in pain as it came off.

  “I want us to have a chat about the future and I think you and I should go away for the weekend and really get to know each other again. Remember that little cottage in Wales my uncle let us use? Well, he died last year and left the place to me. I think all that isolation will be perfect, no one for miles around.”

  “People will come looking for us.”

  “Let them. If we can’t be together in this world then by the time they find us we’ll be together in the next.”

  “You’re going to kill me?”

  “Think of it like a suicide pact. I said I’d kill you if you ever left me and you decided to call my bluff. Sounds like suicide to me.”

  Ryan lifted her up over his shoulder and took her to the garage. He opened the back door on the driver’s side and heavily dropped Kate onto the seat, covering her with a blanket. He looked with disgust at the poor condition of the battered Clio before moving back into the house to finish making the sandwiches that James had started. They had a long drive and he had no intention of stopping unless he absolutely had to.

  Kate tried to open the door handle with her nose but it was too stiff. She was starting to think about the possibility of head-butting the window when the passenger side door was opened and she felt two hands pull her out of the car.

  James put his finger to her lips and she nodded, dizzy with relief that he was alive. He had a matching blood trail on his shoulder from the blow to the head and his left eye was beginning to swell.

  Half carrying, half dragging Kate to the row of cupboards along the wall, James opened the widest end one and stood her up in it. He took out the sex doll that Mark had given him to hide and put it under the blanket in the car. Then he went back to the place that Ryan had dropped him and lay down into position again.

  James heard Ryan return to the garage and held his breath as the other man nudged him with his foot.

  The garage door was lifted and, as if her guardian angel had finally come back on duty, Kate’s car started first time. The air filled with exhaust smoke as the little car puffed and spluttered its way out of the garage and then with the engine still running Ryan closed the door and drove away.

  James immediately opened the cupboard and caught Kate, shaking violently, as her legs gave way. He leaned her up against the cupboard door, found a sharp knife and cut away the restraints. She threw her arms around him.

  “Kate, we have to call the police. Until that nutter is locked up we’re not safe and he could come back at any moment if he discovers what we’ve done.”

  Her eyes filled with panic and she nodded. James took her hand and together they went back into the house to make the call.

  Hilary sat at the kitchen table that had grown so familiar and clenched her hands together to stop them from trembling. She knew that Andy didn’t need her living with him any more and while she didn’t want to intrude, the village and her friends in it had become part of her life now. She felt more at home here than she had ever felt before. But she didn’t want to intrude... much.

  She heard Andy’s key in the door and pretended to read the magazine she had open as she concentrated on staying calm enough to greet him with a smile.

  “Hi, Andy, good day?”

  “Not bad, thanks, you?”

  “Just the usual. Tea?”

  Andy shook his head and, pleasantries over, pulled out a chair and sat opposite her.

  “You know, I’ve been thinking that it’s incredibly selfish of Suzie and me to just assume that you’re able to stay here indefinitely and look after us. You’ve been amazing but I know Laura wouldn’t want me to impose on your good nature.”

  “Oh, it’s no trouble really, and I love being here and…” Hilary trailed off.

  Andy leaned on the table. “I’m afraid I’m going to ask something that’s probably unforgivable and I can only hope that when Laura finds out she’s not too mad at me.”

  Hilary felt her eyes start to fill and bit her lip in an attempt to regain control.

  “Would you consider selling your house and moving to the village?”

  “What?” Hilary was completely taken off guard.

  “Well, there’s a gorgeous cottage on the village green that’s just become available and I know it’s a lot smaller than your current place but it’s really lovely inside. There’s also a decent-sized garden out the back with roses and a vegetable plot. I know how keen you are about your gardening.” He paused. “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask but I really don’t know how we could have managed without you this last year and, well, Laura’s not quite on her feet yet and even when she is I can’t imagine things around here without you.”

  For Hilary the relief was overwhelming; she didn’t say anything, she couldn’t trust the words would come out properly. Andy’s open face was etched with concern. “So, would you at least think about it?”

  “That’s a lovely idea. I thought you were just going to ask me to push off!”

  Andy got up and strode around to her side of the table, scooping her into a bear hug. “Never! You’re the best mother-in-law possible, which brings me to the other thing I wanted to say.” He put her down and went over to his briefcase to retrieve a clear plastic wallet.

  “Here’s something that Laura would approve of. You’ve been amazing and I wanted to say thank you.” He handed her the wallet.

  Hilary smiled in confusion but opened the wallet offered to remove the paperwork inside. The paper was good quality, embossed and signed by hand. The words danced in front of her, places, dates, events and pictures of exotic scenes.

  “I don’t understand?”

  “My company have given me the option of a three-month break and I was going to sweeten your move to the village by saying I’d organise everything for you. All you have to do is say yes. And then I started thinking that you haven’t had time off since you came down here either so the least Laura and I could do is treat you to a trip. I got a bit ahead of myself and booked you on a cruise because I wasn’t sure where you’d like.”

  The papers started to swim into focus. An ocean liner, the best the fleet had to offer, every luxury you could think of and yes, there was a grand staircase to sweep down.

  “I don’t know what to say… where am I going?”

  “Ah, thought I’d hedge my bets there too. I’ve booked you onto a world cruise.”

  The kitchen table was loaded with maps and travel documents, Libby was arguing with Sam and the radio was blasting out Spanish music. Mark was trying to pick the lock of a suitcase that no one could remember the code for and failing miserably. Eventually he knew he’d have to admit defeat and buy a new one but he and Pam had talked about buying a b
each bar somewhere and they needed to save for a deposit.

  Pam walked into the chaos and felt a pang of sympathy towards Mark. If he’d stuck with Tamara he would probably still have been on holiday, somewhere calm and uncluttered. She went up to him and gently squeezed his shoulder.

  “If you hadn’t cancelled your wedding you’d probably have had someone to do that for you.” She paused. “Are you sure you don’t have any regrets?”

  Mark looked around at the family he had been accepted into, at the future that had opened up for him and into the eyes of the beautiful woman next to him.

  “None at all,” he said happily.

  The village fete was off to a good start. People were coming in their droves to make the most of the good weather and community spirit and the makeshift car park in the neighbouring field was already threatening to spill out onto the road.

  The most popular stall was the one hosting the church tombola, organised by Ruth. Behind her sturdy chair was a staggering amount of prizes ranging from baby rattles to a bright pink trampoline. Geoff had persuaded a few of his team, partly by good will and partly lured by the promise of a burger from the barbeque, to watch over the goods in case of theft. They stood, slightly awkwardly, either side of the stash; Ruth had already persuaded them to buy more tickets than they could afford.

  Next to the tombola the Crockery Smash stall was doing a brisk trade. Penny’s old dinner service was going out with a bang.

  Geoff himself was ambling around the fair, in uniform, with no particular destination in mind when he caught a glimpse of the vicar moving towards the cake stall to begin the judging and headed towards him.

  At the site of his love rival, Edward felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and gradually all noise seemed to drop away until there was only Geoff. Geoff with his fancy champagne and expensive tastes. Geoff, who could make Penny giggle just by looking at her. Geoff, the only thing between him and his wife. He could hear his pulse thudding in his ear and his head felt as though it was being squeezed.