Beauty in the Ashes

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “You totally should!”

  Why was I yelling?

  I glared at the drink that was mostly gone now. “You’re dangerous,” I muttered to it.

  Daphne let out a small twinkling laugh. “Did you just talk to your drink?”

  “I did.” I pushed it away. “No more of that. I have to go to work.”

  “What’s up with you and Caelan?” She asked and interest sparkled in her eyes.

  Why did everyone have to keep bringing up Caelan? Didn’t they know there was nothing to tell?

  “Nothing,” I answered honestly.

  “Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re the only person he ever seems to speak to.”

  “He yells actually. Yelling doesn’t qualify as speaking,” I reasoned. “And he also yells at Cyrus,” I nudged the guy beside me.

  “Hell yeah he does,” Cyrus finally tore his eyes away from the woman’s legs and ass to join the conversation. “He’s always so grumpy for someone that’s constantly got a different girl leaving his apartment every morning.”

  “You’re one to talk,” Daphne snorted. “I’ve lost count of how many girls I’ve seen leaving your apartment, and sometimes two at once.” She shivered in disgust, her lips pursed.

  My eyes threatened to pop out of my head as I turned to look at Cyrus. “What?” I gasped. What female in their right mind would want to fuck Cyrus? And a threesome?

  He smiled innocently. “Variety is the spice of life.”

  “You’re disgusting.” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  Cyrus chuckled. “I’ve heard that before. It doesn’t offend me, darlin’,” he said in a southern drawl, his eyes twinkling. He was clearly amused by me.

  Frankie and Jen chose that moment to return. I was forced to scoot closer against Cyrus once more. Jen’s eyes were red and puffy and I wanted to kick Frankie in the shin for being so dumb with his words. Some girls—most, actually—were sensitive and took everything personally. Guys were too dumb to see that.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  After getting the stink eye from Jen I decided it was time to part ways and head back home to get ready for work.

  I felt Memphis’ eyes on me as I shimmied my way past tables and bodies to get to the exit. I was suddenly glad I’d chosen the dress I wore. I knew it hugged my curves in all the right places.

  He’d have to keep dreaming though.

  The streetlights were just coming on as I made my way back to the apartment. The air was still warm with the heat of the late summer day. I looked up, watching as the last orange glow of the sunset disappeared behind a building and darkness set in.

  “Nice dress.”

  I jumped about ten feet in the air at the sound of the voice.

  Placing a hand over my racing heart, I turned to face Caelan sulking in shadows beside the building.

  “W-what are you doing here?” I asked, my voice sounded breathless with fright.

  “I was watching the sunset.” His eyes lingered on my bare legs before they eventually rose to meet mine.

  I was surprised he gave me an answer.

  With his hands stuffed in his paint stained jeans, he pulled away from the wall. The movement brought him closer to me so that our breaths mingled together. I couldn’t miss the tang of alcohol on his breath. I’m sure he could smell it on mine too, but while I only drank occasionally—rarely at that—I got the impression that Caelan was almost always in a state of drunkenness.

  “I find some of my best inspiration while watching the sunset,” he murmured, his eyes flicking down to my lips and I couldn’t help but remember our kiss, “but you, you’re an even better muse.”

  My eyes closed as I sucked in a surprised breath.

  When I opened them, he was gone.

  I turned, looking around me and towards the building. I knew I hadn’t heard the door open and close, so he couldn’t have gone inside. He had to be out here somewhere, but he wasn’t.

  He had vanished like the seeds of a dandelion blown into the air. Floating, wandering, lost…never knowing where they might land.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  Caelan

  I couldn’t believe I’d just said that to Sutton.

  You’re an even better muse.

  What. The. Fuck?

  Clearly I was drunker than I thought and it had given me loose lips, which was unusual since alcohol seemed to spike my anger instead of turning me into a chatterbox.

  As soon as her eyes closed, I’d slipped away like a coward, too afraid to face what was right in front of me—that there might be someone worth living for if I let her in.

  I shook my head roughly back and forth, wishing I could dislodge my thoughts.

  Shoving my hands in my pockets I walked as fast as my feet could carry me. Away from Sutton, away from my problems, away from everything that made my thoughts venture down a different path than I’d been on for the last five years.

  I was beyond being saved, and being around Sutton gave me a false feeling of hope because she made me tick. The anger I felt towards her when she pissed me off wasn’t comparable to the anger I felt towards others.

  Rounding the corner, Kyle’s white car came into view. It was the same car he’d had since we were in high school. I didn’t know why the idiot was still friends with me. I certainly didn’t make it easy for him. I had pushed everyone away after my family’s murders, but Kyle wouldn’t go down without a fight. So the stubborn ass and I were stuck with each other. In a way, I was glad I still had him. He was the only person in my life now that knew what had happened, what I’d been through, and remembered the guy I had been before.

  I wasn’t a good person then though.

  I hadn’t loved my parent’s the way I should have. Always grumbling about them wanting me home and how they kept me from my real life.

  Cayla and I had been close, but we’d still argued a lot, and I’d thought of her as my annoying little sister.

  I’d been a cocky jock and expected everyone to bend to my will.

  I’d give anything to go back and redo those moments.

  But life doesn’t have a rewind button. We’re stuck with our decisions, our regrets, our fears—they’re always there. They shape and define us into the people we become.

  Unfortunately, mine had sent me down a destructive path.

  And now, I was worse than I ever was.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  Sutton

  I pulled my hair back into a messy bun, securing it with a hair tie.

  I had on comfy jeans and a tank top with a flimsy sweater thrown over top. Working at Griffin’s had its perks—like not dressing up. In fact, when working the night shift, I got the impression Griff wouldn’t have cared if we showed up in our pajamas.

  I said goodbye to Brutus, making sure he had enough food in his bowl, and headed out the door. I hadn’t heard Caelan return home, but with all the bumps and creaks in this old building, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he was back, slaving away over a canvas and I just hadn’t noticed.

  His beautiful paintings had stayed with me. I couldn’t believe that someone so angry and volatile could create something so beautiful. I was still curious about who Cayla was. I wanted to ask Daphne, but I didn’t feel like I knew her enough yet to trust her to keep quiet about my question. Google didn’t procure any viable responses—which I figured it wouldn’t—and I wouldn’t dare ask Caelan about the name he uttered. He’d probably kill me and chop my body into tiny pieces in his bathtub.

  Slinging my purse over my shoulder, I left a meowing Brutus, and headed to work.

  Griffin was already gone, and I was working with Emery tonight. Griff partnered me up with Emery a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t quite trust me yet and thought Emery would keep tabs on me, or— I wasn’t going there.

  “Hey, sunshine,” Emery greeted me with a wink. He thought his nickname for me was brilliant since I was anything but a ray of sunshine. I tried to act like the name didn’t
bother me, in the hopes that he’d get tired and drop it. Something told me he wouldn’t though.

  I rolled my eyes, letting the door bang closed behind me.

  He chuckled at my non-reply as I headed past the swinging doors into the back. I put my purse in a locker—Griff had a locker for every employee—and grabbed the apron that tied around my waist.

  “Hurry up, sunshine!” Emery sing-songed, poking his head through the doorway. “We have customers waiting to see your beautiful face!”

  I flashed him my middle finger, which he found hilarious.

  Once my apron was tied, I headed to the register, which was my station for the evening. There really weren’t that many tables to wait on. Most people who came in the evenings were college kids. Despite the fact that classes must have only recently started, most looked exhausted and ready to fall over asleep—hence the need for caffeine. Some chose to stay in the restaurant to do homework, but I’d learned quickly that they didn’t like to be bothered.

  Emery returned from wiping down a table, his usual mega-watt smile perfectly in place.

  “How was your day?” He asked, leaning a hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Uneventful.” It was the same answer I always gave him, but between Memphis and what Caelan said to me this evening, uneventful was actually the last word that came to mind.

  “Liar,” he smirked.

  “I never lie.”

  “Mhmm,” he remained unconvinced. “I have dishes to clean. Try not to drive away customers with your sparkly personality.”

  As he breezed by me, he used the rag in his hand to swat at my butt.

  “Emery!” I shrieked.

  As the door swung closed behind him I could still hear his chuckles.

  Emery and I had formed an unusual friendship. We didn’t talk much about our personal lives, but we were friends none-the-less. I’m sure the more time we spent together, the more we’d learn to trust the other and open up.

  My eyes began to feel droopy as I stood there waiting for a customer to walk in. Griffin didn’t mind when we worked the night shift if we helped ourselves to coffee, so I grabbed the largest size cup and poured myself some. That finished off the house brew, so I set about making some more.

  The chime above the door dinged, sounding the approach of a customer.

  I plastered on a fake smile and turned around, “Welcome to Griffin’s, what can I get you?” My fake smile quickly turned into a real one, when my eyes met with now familiar gray ones. Butterflies took up residence in my stomach, fluttering around as they sought a way to escape.

  “This is an interesting development,” Memphis smiled crookedly.

  “It is indeed.”

  I stared at him, completely forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. Shaking myself back to reality, I repeated, “What can I get you?”

  Memphis looked up at the menu, biting on his lower lip as if in deep thought. When his eyes connected with mine once more, he said, “You.”

  “What?” I choked, shocked at his brazenness.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” he shook his head, his smile widening, “that’s not on the menu. I’ll just have the house brew. No cream or sugar.”

  Oh, God. I was pretty sure he was perfect.

  I gave him his total and he paid.

  I poured the steaming coffee into a cup once it was ready and fixed a lid in place. Sliding it across the counter, I was careful to release my hold on the cup before our fingers could touch.

  “So, what’s your story?” He asked, bringing the lid up to his lips, his brows raised as he waited for my answer.

  “My story?” It seemed like such an odd question to ask someone you had just met.

  “Yeah,” he shrugged. “You must have one. I’ve never seen you before and then we meet twice in one night. Coincidence? I don’t think so.”

  “Not much to tell,” I answered evasively.

  “Ah,” he breathed, his eyes twinkling, “so you’re one of those girls.”

  I shook my head roughly. “What the hell does that mean?” I was offended that I could possibly be lumped into a statement such as that.

  “You know, one of those girls that acts all mysterious to hook a guy.”

  “Trust me,” I gave him a deadly glare, “I’m not acting. If you’re sensing something mysterious,” I shrugged lightly, “then I guess you are.”

  “Where are you from, Sutton?”

  I stilled, enjoying the sound of him saying my name way too much. “I don’t understand why you’re so curious about me,” I retorted.

  He chuckled, still smiling. “Well, when a man likes a woman, he typically wants to get to know her. That means talking and asking questions. Does it scare you that you fascinate me?” He eyed me, making me squirm uncomfortably.

  “No,” I said too quickly. Swallowing, I added, “You don’t scare me.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not what I said and you know it.” Straightening, he shoved one hand into the pocket of his black slacks and kept the other hand wrapped firmly around his cup of coffee. “I can see you’re not interested in answering a questionnaire tonight, so until the next time,” he tipped his head in my direction, and pushed the doors open.

  The chime clinked again and I was tempted to rip the annoying thing off the door handle.

  Emery appeared from the back. “Well, that was fun.”

  I whipped around to glare at him. “You mean you were listening and you didn’t help me! The guy could’ve been an ax murderer or something!”

  He laughed heartily and I worried he might not be able to breathe. “Oh, Sutton, I hardly needed to save you. Rest assured, if you needed actual saving, I would’ve hopped aboard my mighty steed and come to your rescue.”

  I couldn’t resist punching him in the arm for that ridiculous line.

  “What was that for?” He still laughed, completely unfazed by the punch.

  “For not saving me when I needed rescuing!” I retorted, throwing his words in his face.

  “Trust me, Memphis is a good guy. You would never need anyone to protect you from him,” Emery’s voice softened.

  “You know him?”

  Emery nodded. “He comes in here a lot, and we went to school together. It’s a small town,” he shrugged like that explained everything.

  I glanced at the door Memphis had departed through only moments before and then back at Emery. “Why do I feel like you’re trying to play matchmaker?”

  Emery smiled innocently. “I don’t need to play matchmaker when fate will do the work for me.”

  CHAPTER 6

  Sutton

  It had been four days since I’d last seen Caelan. I didn’t know why that fact bugged me so much.

  No amount of noise I made sent him running out of his apartment.

  I hated to admit it, but I missed our games…and maybe I missed him.

  Nah. It wasn’t possible to miss someone you didn’t know.

  I wondered where he was.

  I hoped he was gone, but coming back.

  A part of me worried that maybe he’d overdosed and was lying dead in his apartment and no one knew about it. I knew he was an alcoholic and drug addict. Seeing his apartment had confirmed that. But there were other signs too. Like the way he was always so jittery, and how sometimes his eyes would shift irregularly.

  If he was dead, which I hated to even consider, I knew I should find a way to check on him. I couldn’t exactly break into his apartment though. That would be embarrassing to explain if he turned up alive.

  “Meow.”

  I looked down at the quickly growing Brutus. He tilted his head, his strange greenish eyes watching me closely. I lowered, lifting him into my arms and tucking him under my neck. His warmth comforted me and something about rubbing his soft body instantly filled me with a feeling of calm.

  With Brutus in my arms I stared out the window.

  I had always liked to watch people—I found human behavior so interest
ing. I liked to imagine what the people below me were doing or saying.

  I jolted in surprise when I saw a white car pull up the curb a little ways down the street and Caelan got out of the passenger side. He leaned back in, saying something to the driver. They seemed to be having some kind of argument. Caelan slammed the car door closed, shaking the whole vehicle with the force. I couldn’t see the driver’s face, but it was obviously a guy about my age, maybe a little older, and he shook his head in disgust. He pulled away quickly, the exhaust from his car filling the air with a hazy fog.

  I jumped in surprise when I heard the door to Caelan’s apartment slam closed.

  I looked at Brutus in my arms and muttered, “Someone’s grumpy.”

  “Meow.”

  Kissing Brutus’ head, I set him gently on the floor.

  I itched to provoke Caelan, but something told me not to. Now wasn’t the time to push his buttons.

  Tapping my fingers along the countertop, I tried to act like I wasn’t listening to what was going on across the hall.

  Things were definitely being thrown and it sounded like a piece of furniture crashed against the wall. I ducked, even though nothing was flying at me.

  I wanted to check on Caelan, and based on what I heard I had the perfect excuse to investigate.

  I bit down on my lip, pacing the length of my apartment.

  Should I?

  Or shouldn’t I?

  My mind warred with itself. I wasn’t sure what would be the best move. He was clearly angry and I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that, but if I could calm him—

  “Oh, screw it!” I exclaimed to no one.

  I marched out of my apartment and across the hall. I was determined not to appear frightened.

  Banging on the door, he didn’t answer and the destructive noises didn’t lessen.

  I took the doorknob in my hand and I was surprised when it turned easily.

  “Caelan!” I called out.

  Crash.

  “Caelan! Are you okay?” I tiptoed inside, afraid to anger the beast further.

  He stormed past me from his bedroom area, his eyes flicked quickly over me, and then back to the task at hand—which turned out to be smashing his heavy boot into the glass tabletop of his coffee table. The sound of glass shattering made me wince, but I refused to back down.