Evermore

by Corinne Michaels

  Chapter Nine

  Ben

  My leg is killing me. I haven’t pushed myself this hard in a long time. Not that I don’t still go to the gym and keep up with my physical therapy, but I didn’t think through my big plan for the day.

  We walked the boardwalk, well, sidewalk. I don’t know why Virginia Beach thinks pavement is a boardwalk. The entire name says it—board. But there are no boards. I wanted to take her down to the water, smell the ocean, hear the waves up close, but my fucking leg doesn’t do sand.

  She never asked once or made a comment. She didn’t fuss over me either. It was nice. I felt—normal.

  I roll over out of bed, massaging the muscles and putting lotion on the now red and inflamed skin.

  “Fuck,” I groan as it burns.

  Today is going to suck.

  I force myself to wake up and get ready. Once in the shower I close my eyes and Gretchen’s face after our kiss is front and center.

  She’s so beautiful. The way she looked up at me like I just made her life worth living was humbling and almost brought me to my knees. After all this time it’s as if the feelings I had for her just resurfaced like time never passed.

  I think about the sounds she made and my cock hardens. My hands itch to touch her again, feel her silky skin beneath my rough fingertips. Instead of touching her, I wrap my hand around my dick and start to jerk off.

  Her face is all I see.

  Her perfume is all I smell.

  Her voice is all I hear as I continue stand to here, one hand on the wall, one on my cock.

  I have no control as I think about her. I imagine it’s her lips around me, the warmth of the water is her mouth and I come—hard.

  I get out of the shower and my phone dings.

  Gretchen: I had a really good time. Thank you.

  Me: You’re welcome. I did too.

  Gretchen: I’ll see you at the office?

  How the hell I’m going to work beside her all day, I’ll never know. I’m going to have to use every possible tactic I learned to keep my composure. Kissing her was a big mistake, but I can recover. I got her out of my system a few minutes ago. I should be totally fine. It’ll be a walk in the park.

  Me: I’ll be there.

  Gretchen: Good. I can’t wait to see you. I keep thinking about our kiss and...I just thought you should know. It was really good too.

  Yeah, work today is going to be a piece of cake.

  * * * *

  “I have a theory,” Gretchen says as we sit at the table.

  Me too, that I’m a complete idiot to think I wouldn’t want another date with her. I thought I would show her a good time, go home, drink a beer and be done.

  Instead I’m jerking off in the shower and thinking about how to get a second date with her. Not one to show her a good time, but because I want to show her that I want her.

  I rub the back of my neck and focus on work. “What’s that?”

  “The contracts are all worded differently. I’m starting to think whoever was drawing them up was trying to give the client a loophole depending on what the company was doing. Look...” She points to a line in another contract. “…I’m fairly certain this line shouldn’t be here.”

  I read it over, not really sure of what it means. “Why?”

  “Because if we’re drawing up the contracts, which it appears we are, we wouldn’t want any possible openings for lawsuits. Thankfully, you guys are really good at what you do, so there hasn’t been a fuck up, but...”

  “But you think someone was hoping for it?”

  “Yeah, it’s the only thing that makes sense.” She gnaws at the end of her pen.

  God, she’s gorgeous. Her blonde hair is down and curled at the ends today. She’s wearing a light pink top with a black skirt. I can’t stop looking at her legs, wishing they were wrapped around my waist.

  It’s been almost two years since my divorce and I haven’t given a shit about women since Charity left. She fucked with my head so bad. I was only good enough for her when I was a SEAL. She loved the military life and wanted to bask in the glory that came with it. Not that I think there is much glory. It’s a lot of time away, fighting, dealing with being alone, but Charity enjoyed it. I’m just glad we never had kids.

  I think about the words the bitch said when she signed the divorce papers, which left her with nothing.

  “It’s fine, Ben. I don’t need your money because no one wants to sleep with only part of a man.”

  “Ben?” Gretchen’s hand touches my arm. “Did you hear me?”

  “No, sorry.” I shake my head, coming back to the present.

  She gives a soft smile. “I asked if the lawyer who was drawing up the contracts is still on staff. I’d like to just poke around a bit.”

  “He’s not, which is why Jackson needed you so quickly.”

  Now I’m starting to wonder if there’s more. Why would the lawyer put any kind of loophole in? There should be nothing that would leave us open for a lawsuit.

  “Okay,” Gretchen says, tapping her pen. “I just—”

  “Have a weird feeling?”

  She nods.

  “Me too. Let’s go talk to Mark.”

  We get up and I wince. My leg is screaming today. The skin is still raw from rubbing against my prosthetic more than usual.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You look like you’re in pain...”

  Then I hear Charity’s words in my head again.

  “I’m fine.” My voice is sharper than I intended.

  “Sorry.”

  Fuck. I didn’t mean to snap at her. It’s not her fault. “That was out of line. I’m fine, I’m just uncomfortable.”

  “Is it your leg?” Gretchen asks.

  I don’t want to admit defeat. In fact, I hate it. I’ve come to terms with my life for the most part, but I’m still pissed. I lost everything because of this injury. I’m tired of things being chipped away from me. There’s no fucking glory in feeling weak.

  “Let’s just forget about this and deal with what we have to.”

  Gretchen looks like she’s going to keep pushing, but she nods. “Okay, but,” she says and presses her hand to my mouth, “if you insist on being stubborn, I understand because you always were an idiot, but if you’re in pain, you should take care of yourself. I know all too well about neglecting yourself for the sake of appearances.”

  Her hand drops and her features are soft, just like my heart when it comes to her.

  I was just a dick to her and she’s worried about me. “Don’t worry about me, babe. I’ve learned to endure through much worse pain.”

  Then Gretchen reaches up on her toes, her eyes on me asking a million questions. There’s hesitancy, fear, excitement, and lust as her mouth inches closer. I don’t move, allowing her the control over what she does. That’s something she hasn’t had in many years and if she wants this, she has to take the next step.

  “I’m going to kiss you, Ben.”

  I stand like a statue. “I’m right here, babe.”

  Her hand rests on my chest as she moves slowly, measuring each breath and I have to lock my muscles to stop myself from hauling her to my body and crushing our lips together.

  But I don’t—I wait.

  Dying a slow death.

  Until our lips touch, and I remember what breathing feels like again—her.

  Chapter Ten

  Gretchen

  “Thanks for doing this,” Liam says as he lets me in the door.

  “Not a problem. I love kids.”

  I enter their home and Natalie rushes down the stairs.

  “Gretchen! You saved me, you have no idea!”

  “Seriously, guys, it’s babysitting, I’m happy to do it. Not like I have anything going on that I can’t step away from.”

  My life...is boring. I sit around Jackson and Catherine’s apartment, clean, sit some more, clean up again, and stop myself from texting Ben.

  Tha
t’s my life.

  “Still, we appreciate it.” Natalie smiles. “Liam promised me a date three weeks ago and then the kids got sick which led to the man-flu, which is a whole other type of disease.”

  I laugh. “Oh, I remember all too well when Harold got sick.”

  She rolls her eyes. “What is it with men? I get sick and I still function.”

  Liam clears his throat. “Umm, sweetheart, if you need to be reminded of that one time you were sick...”

  “One time. One. Not the sniffles, I was on my death bed,” she says with a challenge in her voice.

  “See what I deal with?” Liam says to me.

  “No way am I stepping in this one.”

  Natalie and Liam go over the basics of where everything is. Their home is color coded by child and in bins, which makes my crazy-organized-self happy.

  There’s a knock on the door. “Who the hell?” Lee looks at Liam and makes her way to the door.

  When she opens it, my heartrate spikes.

  There, in a pair of running shorts and a shirt with the arms cut off stands a very sweaty and very sexy Ben. I lean against the wall, needing the structure to keep me upright. The shirt clings to his chest, showing every muscle that I know is hiding under there. His shorts are baggy and for the first time, I get a glimpse of his prosthetic leg. All I can think is, damn. Damn him for being so hot. Damn my stupid hormones for kicking into high gear.

  I bite my lip and rest my head to the side, hoping to keep myself from drooling.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Liam asks.

  His eyes meet mine, watching me watch him. “Hey,” he says to Liam but is looking at me. “I got your text about needing someone to watch the kids and was doing some exercises...”

  “Oh, shit. I forgot I didn’t send you a text saying Gretchen was able to help out.”

  It’s been three days since we’ve seen each other. After the kiss we shared, he flew out to California to meet with Jackson. I didn’t know he was back or what happened, but I’ve longed to see him.

  Which is totally crazy.

  Ben and I are a bad idea. I’m a little broken, he’s a little angry—okay, a lot angry. I don’t know anything about his past and while he knows some of mine, it’s just stupid to get into anything.

  And yet, I kissed him.

  He’s kissed me and all I want is to be in his arms again.

  Natalie looks at Ben and then at me. “Ben, why don’t you stay and help Gretchen?”

  “Huh?” Liam asks.

  “Yeah.” She places her hand on his arm. “It would be great to know that there were two of you in case Shane wakes up. That way she’s not alone. She’s not really familiar with the area, and you know...”

  “I’m sure she—” Liam starts but then stops when he catches her face. “…could use the help.”

  Ben’s lips turn to a sly smile. “It’s up to her.”

  Here’s my chance to stop whatever this is. If I tell him to go, we can go back to being friends or colleagues and move on. It’s what I should do. “Stay,” I say, proving I’m a total idiot.

  “Then I will.”

  There’s a thickness in the air. Me asking him to stay and him agreeing to do so feels like some sort of admission or surrender, but yet a challenge at the same time.

  Our eyes stay locked, neither of us willing to break the stare first.

  “Great.” Liam claps his hands together, causing us both to look away. “Shane is asleep and should stay that way, but you never know with him. Aarabelle is watching a movie, and will probably sucker you into doing something she shouldn’t.”

  I nod. “Got it.”

  Liam turns to Ben. “Okay, and the most important thing though is don’t use any kind of rope, tape, glue, or bungee cords to tie up a diaper. Trust me, it doesn’t work.”

  Natalie rolls her eyes. “Not everyone is as extra as you, babe. I’m sure Ben can handle it.”

  “He’s a single dude, we’re not all that up to speed on babies. Plus, he’s likely to break things, like the stupid tabs of a diaper.”

  “Thanks for the tip, Dreamboat.”

  “Anytime, Hulk.”

  The whole call sign thing to me is so fun. Sure, we call Ashton an idiot, but it’s not really a call sign. I can only imagine what they’d come up with for the girls. I know Mark has given Natalie one, which is Sparkles and Catherine is Kitty, and apparently, I’m Jilted. Being a part of their team is supposed to have perks. I guess nicknames that make you want to scream is just one.

  “Okay, any other questions before they start punching each other?” Natalie asks.

  I shake my head. “I think we’re good. I’ll call or text if there is anything else.”

  Aarabelle comes out from the living room. “Gretchen! Yay! Uncle Ben!”

  “Hey, Peanut!”

  She runs to Ben. He scoops her up and she begins to squirm with a case of the giggles. “You’re all sweaty!”

  “I was exercising, which is something your Athair fails to do. It’s why he’s getting scrawny in his old age.”

  I love how Aarabelle calls Liam that. Since she’s not his daughter, but he is her father in every way that matters, they wanted a name that meant something. Liam is very passionate about his Irish roots so they use the Gaelic term for father. It’s sweet and special between them.

  “Athair?” Aarabelle questions Liam. “Are you scrawny?”

  His eyes narrow. “No. I’m stronger than your Uncle Ben, that’s for sure.”

  “Uncle Ben has big muscles.”

  “And little brains.”

  Natalie steps in. “Aara, why don’t you show Gretchen the movie you’re watching?”

  “Okay, come on Miss Gretchen, I’m watching princesses!”

  I take her little hand in mine and smile. I really love this kid, she’s so sweet and respectful. “I love princesses!”

  “Me too!”

  Natalie clutches her hands to her chest and mouths: thank you.

  “Uncle Ben! You have to watch princesses too!” Aarabelle calls.

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” he says with a laugh.

  The front door closes and Ben makes his way in. Aara and I are sitting on the couch and he sits on the other side of her. She scoots closer to him and tosses her legs up onto mine. “I love Cinderella. She’s the best.”

  Ben’s gaze meets mine. “You know, Gretchen loved Belle when we were kids.”

  “Really?” she asks with her eyes wide.

  “Yeah, I sure did. She was smart, independent, and had goals.”

  “She also loved a big beast.”

  “She did.”

  Aarabelle completely missed the entire reasons why I think Belle is a badass, but sure, love wins all and what not. At least to a six-year-old.

  “Uncle Ben, you’re big like the Beast.”

  Oh God.

  He chuckles. “I think I’m bigger and scarier.”

  She shrugs and looks back at me and then leaps to her feet. “We can play princesses. You can be Belle, Uncle Ben can be the Beast and I’ll be...” She seems to ponder what role she wants. “I’ll be the pretty enchantress!”

  “Aara...” Ben says and almost as if she knows that he’s going to shoot down her dreams of being the enchantress, she juts her lip out.

  Well played, kid. Well played.

  “But.” She tilts her head to the side. “Don’t you want to play?”

  “Fine,” he grumbles. “You don’t play fair.”

  She grins as if she’s well aware of her power over these big, strong men. I could learn a thing or two from her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ben

  Aarabelle is finally asleep after an hour of Beauty and the Beast retelling by a six-year-old. I had to wear a blanket as a cape and hide in a closet where I was to stay until I could be nice. Then I wasn’t allowed to eat because I said a curse word and needed to be punished. Of course, Gretchen, being the princess, was allowed to eat all the cookies she wanted as long as sh
e shared with the enchantress.

  After that, I was allowed out of the closet, but then she decided I needed to go for a walk outside to think about my temper.

  She may be the cutest kid in the world but she has a warped sense of fairytales.

  Gretchen sits on the couch, legs tucked underneath her with my cape around her.

  “You cold?” I ask and she jumps.

  “No, I’m okay now that I’m allowed back inside. You?”

  “Well, being outside with no coat wasn’t exactly fun, but at least I had my cape.”

  She laughs and snorts. “That was the best version of that fairytale I’ve ever seen.”

  “Which part did you like? The closet or making me watch you eat cookies?”

  “Both were equally fun.”

  “Women.”

  Gretchen shrugs. “At least she knows how to manage you guys like a pro.”

  That she does. “Aara has had a bunch of men at her disposal to do her bidding since birth. None of us can deny her anything.”

  I’m fairly new to the crew, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less.

  “She’s very sweet.”

  “Yeah, she’s the closest most of us will ever get to having a kid, so she sort of owns us.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Having kids has never been on my list. Charity sure as hell didn’t want them, which worked just fine for me. Not that I don’t love kids, but I didn’t want to have them deal with me being gone all the time. Then, when my marriage dissolved, I decided it was probably better. I can’t exactly run around, lift and toss them in the air or be the kind of father I would’ve wanted.

  “I just mean that kids aren’t really in my cards. I’m happy just being a good uncle to the kids around me.”

  Gretchen’s face falls slightly. “Oh, well...then it’s a good thing you have Aara to spoil.”

  “Spoiled she definitely is, but she’s a special kid. It’s like she just knows what each of us need. The first time I met her, I had just gotten the job and she saw my leg. She ran over, hugged my good leg and asked if she could kiss my other leg since I had a boo-boo. After that I think she owned me.”