Still In Love With Her

by Z. L. Arkadie

  I hang my bag on my shoulder and tuck my notepad under my arm just so I can flip him off with both hands. “You’re not my boss. I quit, you jackass. On so many levels, I quit you.”

  I’m feverishly hot as I walk out of the room, because my anger has spiraled out of control. I don’t expect Vince to chase me since he tried so hard to humiliate me, but just in case, I take the stairs, running down twenty-seven flights. My face is damp from tears and sweat when I reach the bottom. I’m surprised to see Vince standing out front speaking to Darren. I turn left and right, searching for another way out. I run down the escalator to the parking garage. People look at me as if I’ve gone insane, and indeed I have. I make it to the green level and rush past the parked cars, searching for an exit sign. Once I see the way, I run out into the heated morning.

  I lean against the wall to collect my breath. I can’t believe the morning I’m having. Just like that, Vince has replaced me with a debutante. Maybe he was just with me to get his kicks. He always knew that in the end, he would settle down with someone like Emily. I should’ve known he hasn’t changed. That’s why Robert thinks it’s his turn to have me, because Vince is over me. What a jackass.

  I walk without thinking about where I am going. I turn down a street with very little traffic, take out my cell phone, and call Monroe. I can always count on her to pick up on the first ring.

  “What’s up, Mags?” she says.

  “He… Vince…” I’m blubbering.

  “Where are you?” she asks, sounding panicked.

  “I’m in L.A.”

  “Where in L.A?”

  I look for the street signs. “I’m on Galaxy Way.”

  “Don’t move,” Monroe says and hangs up.

  I lean against an iron gate, bury my face in my hands, and bawl. I feel so used and abused. Deep down, I knew before I arrived that my day would probably end with Vince and I breaking up, but I never thought he would treat me as if he hadn’t an ounce of love for me. He was a real jerk. So Emily was the “girlfriend” Robert was referring to in the note, and not Vince’s old girlfriend but his new one. I’ve been replaced.

  I want to cry harder, but instead I wipe my tears and get a grip. I feel like the girl in one of those movies where the popular boy seduces her just to get his kicks. But in the end, the unpopular girl realizes that she didn’t need his ass in the first place. I don’t need Vincent Adams. My life will keep going. I have the rest of it to find the real thing one day. I set my stone-cold glare on the street. Monroe should be here soon.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Caught in the Rat Trap

  “What the hell? Has he been reading novels and shit?” Monroe laughs, making light of my situation.

  I grimace. “Why do you say that?”

  I’m at Monroe’s house. She and I are sitting against the headboard in the guest room she keeps for me. I’m wearing one of her sexy nightshirts since all of my clothes are in my suitcase, which is in the back of my Range Rover.

  She flings her hands as she talks. “It’s popular in books today. Submissive and dominant shit. I’m surprised you don’t know this. Isn’t it your job to know that shit?”

  “Submissive and dominant what? Jerks? Assholes?”

  “No, it’s sex-slave shit. He tells you what to do, and you do it. And if you disobey him, then he punishes you.”

  “Punish me?” The more details she feeds me, the more off course she sounds. I don’t think Vince would ever try to emulate such nonsense, although I’m not sure if I ever knew him at all. “Who does that kind of shit in real life anyway?”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  I lift my eyebrows. “You’ve done it?”

  “I don’t submit to cock. And usually it’s the people you least expect who do.”

  I’m confused. My brain isn’t as sharp as usual, so I have no idea what that meant. “Whatever. I just don’t know what I did for him to betray me like that.”

  Monroe rubs my back consolingly. “I’m sorry, Mags. Vince is a stupid ass. You’re not an easy one to get, and he had you.”

  I smile with the sides of my mouth turned down. “You’re so good for my self-esteem. But he accused me of wanting to fuck Robert. I can’t believe I let Robert grind my ass on the elevator.” I shake my head. “I mean, he was really getting in there. It was… gross.”

  “Uh-oh,” Monroe says.

  “Uh-oh what?”

  Monroe tilts her head. “You liked it. You like him.”

  “I don’t hate him, but he drives me crazy.”

  “I know you, Mags. You like him, like him.”

  I sigh hard. “Am I curious?”

  “Yes you are!”

  “Yes I am but it’s never going to happen.”

  “You’re like a guy who wants to fuck his girlfriend’s best friend.” She looks at me askew. “So are you going to do it now that you’ve broken up with Vince in front of the entire company?”

  Jeez. I pause to think about what I did. “I must’ve lost it.”

  Monroe laughs. “Well, when someone pisses you off to that point, watch out! I mean, you don’t get there quickly, but when you go, you blow.”

  I cover my face with a pillow. “I made a fool of myself!” I shout into its fluffiness. “Oh my God, I don’t have a job!”

  “You don’t need one. You’re Jack Lord’s cousin.”

  I lower the pillow. “I’m not going to mooch off Jack.”

  “Or we can go into business together. I already have a client lined up.” Her eyes shine with hope.

  “I’ve been counting on you mentioning that.”

  “And?”

  “I just need to put this day behind me, but I’m ready. I think we should do it.”

  “You do?” she asks.

  I shrug. “Why not?”

  “For real, Mags. You’re not fucking with me?”

  “I wouldn’t fuck with you.”

  “Then let’s shake on it.” She holds up her hand. “And don’t shake on it if you don’t mean it.”

  I shake her hand. “I mean it.”

  “There’s no turning back now. It’s a done deal.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  “Okay.”

  We grin at each other. I really like the way this decision makes me feel. I’ve made it under duress, which is never a good thing to do, but so what? Since leaving the tutelage of Cruella La Bitch, I’ve learned to take life by the horns and try like hell to bend it to my will.

  I pat Monroe’s thigh to signal a change in conversation. “Oh, congratulations on The Great Dame. I heard it got good ratings as a made-for-TV movie.”

  Monroe smiles proudly. “It did.”

  I smile. “And there’s Emmy talk for best made-for-TV movie and a best actress nomination for Mandy Hill.”

  “Can you believe it? The way that chick bumps coke, you’d think her brains would be too fried to remember her lines.”

  “She’s an addict?”

  Monroe nods. “She has a serious problem. I like her, you know. She’s crazier than I am!”

  “That’s indeed crazy.”

  She elbows me. I laugh.

  “A group of us were thinking about putting together an intervention for her,” Monroe says.

  I flinch, taken aback. “Wow. You’re that close to her?”

  “We’re friends. Not like you and I—we’re sisters.”

  I grin. “That’s what I want to hear.”

  She rolls her eyes playfully. “But deep down, Mandy’s a good person. By the way, I noticed you were wearing the Valentino dress I gave you. Really, Mags, are you still wearing my hand-me-downs?”

  “I still don’t like to shop.”

  “I know. It’s part of your psychosis.”

  I grunt. “I still don’t understand what the hell you’re saying when you say that.”

  “I’ll tell you what, Vince isn’t going to let you go. He’s going to ride your ride until the wheels fall off.”

  I shake my head. “No, we�
��re done. He used me. And the way he fucked me this morning… And the way he embarrassed me… He’s just an asshole I’d rather forget.”

  Monroe rolls her eyes as she shakes her head. “Listen, the next time he tries to get you to submit, do it.”

  “He’s not. We’re done. He has a new girlfriend.”

  “Sometimes you can be so smart yet so dense. He’s not done with you. He was trying to get your attention, and it worked!”

  I frown. “Huh?”

  She takes my shoulders. “Apparently he wants you to submit to him. So just do it.”

  I squirm out of her grasp. “No, and why are you asking me to do that? It’s warped.”

  “Men like that shit. It turns them on.”

  “Well, it doesn’t turn me on. And if that’s the case, then why do all the bitches have the best guys? Huh?”

  “I’m a bitch, and I’ve had horrible luck with men,” she says. “Let’s start with Charlie. I bet Angelina would climb a tree if he asked her to.”

  “Not even the least bit true. But he is into her tits in a strange way. Charlie and Jack are alike—they fixate on tits and ass and shit like that. They’re both Scorpios. I’m positive that has something to do with it.”

  Monroe lifts her shirt. “But I have great tits.”

  I roll my eyes playfully. “Yes, you do. You bought a great pair.”

  She elbows me. “Screw you.”

  “It’s not even that hers are real and yours aren’t. Their fixations are specific. It can be a mole or the way the nipple is shaped. I’ve seen Angel’s tits. They slope like a slide. She’s got great ones.”

  “Don’t tell me that. I’m already jealous of her.”

  “You shouldn’t be, especially if Charlie’s the reason.”

  “Humph, but Charlie’s a Scorpio?”

  “Um-hum.” I gaze off thoughtfully. “I can’t figure out what sort of mojo Daisy is working on Jack. When they’re together, they fuck twenty-four seven.”

  “Maybe it’s her pussy.”

  We both burst into laughter. I’m laughing because hot damn, I think that’s it!

  Monroe pats my thigh. “Get some rest, because I’m having a party tonight.”

  I sigh. “Not tonight, Roe. I’m not in the mood.”

  She leaps to her feet. “This isn’t going to be your run-of-the-mill fun, bump, and fuck party.” She smirks. “Well, all of that will happen, but we’re going to be on the outside looking in.”

  I frown. “Huh?”

  She flexes her eyebrows. “Rest and then come to my closet,” she sings. Monroe dances out of sight.

  I pull the blanket over my shoulders and turn on my side to stare at the wall. My head is sleepy, but my heart won’t let me rest. Vince hasn’t called me. Double fuck Vincent Adams. I probably should’ve gotten involved with Robert Tango instead. At least with him, there would be no blurred lines. He’s always been clear about what he wants from me—legs spread, insert dick.

  I flip onto my other side and try to get comfortable. It’s not working. My muscles are too tense. I kick off the blanket, sit up, pull off Monroe’s come-fuck-me T-shirt, and go for a swim. I lap the pool until my arms and legs grow heavy. I dry myself with a towel and then wrap it around my head.

  Back in my room, I check my phone. I have missed calls from everyone except Vince. Jerk. I stretch across the bed, lying on my stomach, and close my eyes. Inch by inch, I creep off to sleep.

  Robert Tango and I are in the elevator, riding up to the twenty-seventh floor. It’s dim, and cheesy red light flashes. I’m in that slinky, back-out dress Monroe gave me. I’ve tried it on several times, but the message it sends is far too distracting for my taste. Robert strides across the small space, and his hooded gaze is so sexy. He spins me around, lifts my arms over my head, and slaps my palms against the wall. I gasp when his healthy erection stabs my ass.

  “You want this, don’t you?” His warm breath blows in my ear.

  His tongue traces circles and lines down my back. He’s moaning, getting off on dry-humping me. I toss my head back, and the sounds of our whimpers crash around us. I want to milk his dick. But why?

  “Yes, why? Why do you want me to come, Maggie? All over your pretty little ass?”

  “I don’t know,” I whisper.

  “I can tell you why.”

  “Then do tell.”

  His sexy chuckle warms my ear. “You like being liked.”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  Up and down, his dick rides the crease of my ass. “Yes.”

  “No.”

  “Then why won’t you spread your legs and let me have your pussy?” His hand snakes up my thigh. “Why, Maggie?” he barks and stops stimulating me.

  The ache I felt when I saw Vince wink at Emily returns. “Because…”

  “Because what?”

  “I only love Vince. I only crave him.”

  “But he doesn’t want you. And you want me.”

  A dick impales me and makes me want to erupt at first thrust.

  I wake with a stop. The room is dark. The towel is off my head, and I’ve managed to curl into the fetal position. Thank goodness that was only a dream.

  My phone rings, and I spring off the bed to answer it. “Hello?” I ask without checking to see who’s calling.

  “Mags, did you really quit or are you battling a case of the crazies?”

  Ugh. I roll my eyes. It’s Robert. “I really quit.”

  “You do know you signed a contract.”

  “You do know that I know Jack Lord.”

  “You do know I can make it impossible for you to find another job.”

  “Again, you do know that I know Jack Lord?”

  “Fucking Maggie! If you ever appreciated the opportunity Vince gave you, then you would do it right.”

  I sigh hard. Monroe calls my name.

  “Be there in a second,” I say to her.

  “You’re coming to see me?” he asks.

  I recognize that tone. “You see, this is one problem I have at A&Rt—you.”

  “You’re the one who said you were coming over.”

  Although I can’t see it, I know he’s smirking. “I was talking to Monroe.”

  “Oh?” He sounds intrigued.

  “Actually, the two of you would be perfect for each other.”

  “But I want you, Maggie. You can’t dock me for being honest.”

  “If you have a crush on me, keep it to yourself.”

  He laughs. “A crush?”

  Why the hell am I entertaining this conversation? “Call it what you want.”

  “I have an ache for you.”

  “Have you told Vince that you have this”—I draw air quotes—“‘ache’ for me?”

  “Vince knows I want you.”

  “Then why...” I shake my head, confused. Then why hasn’t Vince punched Robert’s lights out? Why are they still friends?

  “Listen, Mags, come back to work.”

  I shake my head emphatically. “I’m done.”

  “Give us two weeks. You’re an important part of our company. If you jump ship, people will feel the waves. Vince will be in L.A. for the next couple of weeks. Work out of New York.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to forget the dream I just had.

  “Maggie, what are you doing?” Monroe asks, poking her head in the room.

  I point at the phone in my hand.

  “Is that Vince?” she whispers.

  I shake my head and mouth, “Robert.”

  Her eyes expand, and she leans against the doorjamb.

  “I have to go,” I say. There’s no way I’m letting Monroe hear this ridiculous conversation.

  “So are you giving us two weeks?”

  “Okay. As long as I don’t have to see those two together.”

  “Then I’ll see you Monday?”

  “Wait. I don’t want to see you either.”

  Monroe chuckles.

  “You’re going to have to see one of us. Pi
ck your poison,” he says.

  I sigh. “Okay. I pick your poison. See you Monday.” I end the call before Robert can say something that will make me change my mind. I shake a finger at Monroe. “Do not.”

  She draws a line across her lips. “Why are you naked? Have you been playing with yourself?” She’s clearly entertained by that idea.

  “No. I went swimming.”

  Her eyes roll up and down my figure. There’s something weird about the way she’s looking at me. “Well, don’t put any clothes on. It’s time to get you dressed for the party. The caterers have already set up, and the strippers are arriving.”

  “Strippers?”

  “They’re the cheese to trap the rats.”

  Again, Monroe has thoroughly confused me.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Exit the Twilight Zone

  I shower, washing the chlorine out of my hair and off my skin. I blow-dry my mane bone straight. It’s still not as thick as Monroe’s, but my hair is shiny and soft as butter.

  “You’re so damn hot,” Monroe says as I study myself in the mirror.

  What’s strange is that I’m wearing a dress similar to the one I wore in the dream I just had about Robert, except this one is powder blue.

  “This is the last straw,” I say. “It’s time I woman up and buy my own clothes.”

  “Nah, let me buy your rags, Mags. You have no idea how to dress that sexy body of yours, and I do.” Monroe slaps me on the ass.

  “I must admit,” I say, turning this way and that, “this dress looks really good on me.”

  “Really good? You look hot!” She slaps my ass again.

  Monroe and I talk about Dash, the new guy she’s seeing, as I sit on the chaise and watch her get dressed.

  “Have you heard me say ‘gnarly’ yet?” she asks.

  “Only dozens of times.”

  “I like that word.” She threads an earring through the hole in her earlobe. “I always knew I was made to be a Californian.”

  “Well, that is definitely the defining factor. I mean, no one, and I mean no one, says ‘gnarly’ like Californians.”

  “And oh, can he fuck. No one fucks like Californians.”

  “That’s because they get a lot of practice.”