Outcast

by Adrienne Kress

  “I…uh…I brought you this to show you…I thought you might think it’s cool…” I pulled out the laptop and set it up to the side so we could both look at it.

  “What the hell is that?”

  “It’s a computer.”

  “That’s a computer? You’re pulling my leg.”

  “No…I’m not…” I turned it on. As I showed Gabe different features, things like the DVD player and some Photoshop, I glanced at his expression. He was in awe. It also seemed like it all might be a little much for him. Probably good I wasn’t connected to the Internet, that might have been one thing too many for an introduction. This maybe hadn’t been such a good idea after all. I turned it off and pushed it to the side.

  “Why…?” Gabe stopped.

  “Yes?” I asked quietly. The mood in the shed was somber.

  Gabe looked at me with that penetrating gaze of his. “Why doesn’t this scare the bejebus out of you?”

  “Well, for one thing I’m not sure I’ve ever had a bejebus to begin with…” Stupid joke, Riley. Honestly this really isn’t the time. “And second, well, when you’ve spent most of your life dealing with angels and stuff, you get used to weird things happening.”

  “Angels.”

  “Yeah.”

  Gabe leaned back against the wall. “Tell me the story again.”

  “About you?”

  “Yeah. You said something about shooting me in the face.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Tell me the story again.”

  So I told him the story again. This time with a lot more detail, as much as I could remember about what he’d looked like before, about the timing of everything. When I’d finished, he just sat there, thinking.

  “I just don’t remember any of it,” he finally said. “Not that night. Not the fifty years that’ve passed.”

  “What do you remember?”

  “I remember I was walking home. It was late. I was drunk. I’d gotten into a fight. I remember…feeling dizzy. I thought I blacked out, happened a lot, been drinking a lot this summer. Then I woke up here.”

  “Where’s your home?” He had a home. Of course he had a home.

  “East. On the edge of the bayou. Just me and my ma…” He stopped. “She’s dead.”

  I looked at him, not really sure what to say. “I guess…I mean, yeah, she would be. I’m so sorry…”

  He looked at me funny for a moment and then gave a wry laugh. “Yeah, I guess she would have been by now, yeah. But no. No, she died couple months ago, reason why I left school. Well, one of the reasons.”

  “You mean in 1956.”

  Gabe stopped.

  “You said a couple months ago. But you meant 1956.”

  “Well, for me, sweetheart,” he sounded angry, “I mean a couple months ago. Sorry that I’m not all used to the time traveling thing yet.”

  I felt stupid, and insensitive. “I’m sorry, Gabe…”

  “This is off the wall.”

  “It is.”

  We sat in silence some more. There was a lot to process. Suddenly the magnitude of everything came into focus for me. Gabe had had a life back in 1956…well, okay, if he was telling the truth about who he was, and it just seemed like he was. Still there was a part of me that couldn’t totally believe him. There was a part of me that thought maybe this was an angel taking the form of some kid from the 50s, though why an angel would do that, I had no idea.

  But I’d seen him. He’d had wings, and he’d come at the time of the Taking…

  “Could be a good thing,” said Gabe suddenly.

  “What would be?”

  “Could be kinda interesting. Get a chance to be a new person.”

  “I guess…”

  “You don’t think so, sweetheart?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it could be kind of interesting, yeah. But I think we need to focus more on figuring out what happened to you, whether you are an angel or not, and most importantly why people are being taken.”

  “Especially your Chris guy.”

  “Yes, I have a vested interest, I know that, but we could still totally…”

  “All this talk of ‘we,’ sweetheart. Seems to me, you’re making all the decisions.”

  “Gabe…”

  “Look, you’ve still got me tied up in your shed. Why don’t we figure out a way to fix this situation before we figure out all the angel stuff?”

  “I…”

  “One day at a time. Right now, maybe you could let me go?”

  I looked down.

  “You are going to let me go now, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t know if I can. You could be lying.”

  Gabe sighed hard. “You’ve got the damn evidence in that yearbook that I’m not.”

  “I don’t trust angels.”

  “Which is kind of bullshit because I thought angels were usually considered the good guys.”

  “Not these angels.”

  “Thought everyone in this damn town worshipped these angels.”

  “Well, I don’t!”

  “And what makes you so special, sweetheart? You know something they all don’t know?”

  “Yes!” I paused. “I mean. No.” Why’d I say that?

  “What do you know, dollface?” His voice was softer. He seemed to believe I knew something when I didn’t. I didn’t know anything. I just had always felt something was off.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I just know you can’t be trusted. And anything that’d take a little boy from his parents…”

  “Who’s this?”

  “Jonah Robinson. A kid. He was taken last week. Look. I want to believe you, I really do. Heck, I really want to like you, you seem nice enough…”

  “You’ve got to learn to trust people.”

  “Well, you are an angel…”

  “I feel so special.”

  “You are that.”

  Gabe grinned. “Well now, the first step’s admitting it. Good girl.”

  “Okay, look. If I’m going to let you go—and I’m not sure I will, but if—then you need to know a little about what’s happened in the world since you blacked out.”

  “Good call.”

  “So how about I spend the day with you, and we do that? And then maybe tomorrow I’ll know what to do.”

  Gabe sighed again. “You keep putting it off, sweetheart. Someday you’re gonna have to make a decision.”

  “I know, I know. Usually I’m good at decisions.”

  “But I’m special.”

  “So we got a deal?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “No.”

  “Then we’ve got a deal.”

  I spent the rest of the day telling him as much as I could. I went to the library and got out some books and video. It was lucky I was usually such a nerd at school. No one seemed to care that I was so interested in recent history. I talked to him and showed him stuff about the Vietnam War, about the Berlin Wall. Showed him clips: men walking on the moon, JFK’s assassination, hippies, marches for civil rights, women’s rights, all the Gulf War stuff. About local stuff, too, and especially the Church of the Angels. Showed him all about computers and a couple scenes from special effects movies. He liked the dinosaur ones: “They look real. Sweetheart, that’s amazing!” The latest cars. He liked that. But he seemed disappointed we didn’t fly around using jet packs or have our own private aircraft.

  In exchange for all of this, he told me what it was like to be a little kid during the Second World War. Losing his Pa. Living on the fringe of the town, being an outcast. He didn’t talk much about being a teenager, though. Seemed he wanted to keep that to himself. Everything he shared seemed out of this world to me. But I guessed the feeling was mutual.

  Then it was time for me to head inside for dinner and then to bed. After all, tomorrow was the first day of school and I kind of needed the rest. Usually when I’d had a crazy day, I couldn
’t fall asleep. I’d have too many thoughts running through my head. But today had been almost too much. My body shut down, and I fell asleep almost instantly.

  8.

  Despite how crazy my life had been recently, the first day of school was pretty much like all first days of school. In fact, it was extra strange this year, in that everything was just so normal. I even felt kind of normal, too, despite my thoughts always going back to Gabe in the shed. I took a bit more time to make myself look nice like I always did on the first day. In fact, I thought I looked pretty good until I actually got to the front entrance. I realized my plain summer dress looked way too frumpy compared with the designer jeans and tank tops of the other girls. I also looked too made-up, like I’d put too much effort. Not that the others didn’t look mass produced, but they made it seem effortless, like they’d just slept with their hair and makeup done like that.

  Stupid self-confidence, being so flighty like that. I wasn’t ugly. I knew that. Objectively. I knew that. But compared with some of the girls at my school, I was pretty hopeless. And, you know, what bugged me most was that the first thought I had when I saw them was how, when Gabe met them all, he’d realize that I was really nothing special to look at, and he’d stop flirting with me.

  Not that I liked his flirting. It’s just…It was just nice to have some attention. Even from angels. Even if it was all a trick.

  Also, this was the first year I’d ever felt concerned about my grades. Usually that was the one thing I didn’t have to worry about. But because my average had slipped last year due to Chris’s Taking, I was extra determined that everything was going to go back to normal.

  Normal. What a joke.

  Never in my life had I ever felt normal. Not that I was some outcast or anything. People liked me well enough. Sometimes I’d even be invited to a party, if it was a big one, though I always turned down the invitations. And I could talk to people, and they sometimes said hey in the halls.

  But I’d never had anyone really close. No one like in the movies—someone that you share everything with and have slumber parties with. I blamed myself. I’d never really wanted to let anyone in. Chris had been the only one, and since he’d gone I’d shut down even further, not even talking to my parents about stuff the way I usually did. Don’t know why. I guess I really was that untrusting. Like Gabe had said.

  Stop. Thinking. About. Gabe.

  I walked up the front steps and got stopped by Lacy Green. She looked amazing. I mean, she was wearing her cheerleader outfit, and there sure as heck wasn’t a game for at least a couple weeks. But she still made it totally work. She was just perfect looking in general. Blonde, with that awesome ponytail, so perky, that cute little turned-up nose of hers, heart-shaped face. She was a living, breathing stereotype, and she totally confounded me. What was crazier was that she seemed to love being this stereotype. Even more than that, no one else seemed to notice what a stereotype she was. It was like no one else in my school watched movies.

  “Hey, Riley.”

  “Hey, Lacy.”

  “Cute dress.”

  “Thank you.”

  She let me pass unscathed. I wasn’t worth her time. I felt for Amber, coming up behind me, though. Lacy terrified her. She was going to be teased for sure. If anything, there was always her hair to make fun of. Sucks to have hair that gets so frizzy in our humid climate. I made a mental note to sit with Amber at lunch today.

  Inside the school, everything was total chaos. Since we’d already picked up our timetables, everyone supposedly knew where their homeroom was, but still, it was like they’d never been to school before. Funny how the freshmen were always the first to find their way to class, and they didn’t know their way around yet.

  Not that the school was that big or anything. We had four hundred kids. Everyone knew everyone. But four hundred kids can still be really chaotic.

  I made my way to homeroom and only had to put up with a couple of “Hey”s. A few people seemed to have genuinely missed me, which was nice. The thing was, over summer, I’d kind of isolated myself. Gone with my parents up to Rochester for a month to see my grandparents and relatives up there. Then hidden out at the house for the rest of August. There was a part of me that just didn’t want to be with people all the time.

  Homeroom was in the library this year. I kind of liked that. I dropped off my bag at a table and wandered around before other people started to show up. It was nice and calm in the library. Of course, once I had a moment to think, I thought about Gabe, which was not such a nice thing. He really stressed me out. Every time I left him alone, I worried what I’d find upon my return.

  “Hey, Riley.” It was Amber. I’d made it into the fantasy section of the library, pretty small section. I’d read them all. Some a few times.

  “Hey, Amber. How was your summer?”

  “Not bad. Worked for my dad for most of it. You going to the party tonight?” She leaned against the bookshelf and looked dejected.

  “I didn’t know there was one. You okay?”

  “Yeah. I wasn’t invited.”

  “Well, don’t let that get to you. I wasn’t invited either, obviously.”

  “But you don’t care about stuff like that.” She paused and sighed hard. Then she looked up at me coyly. “And I bet they’d invite you if you asked.”

  I looked at her and understood the nature of her visit now. I glanced up at the clock. Not even nine yet and already I was into school politics. “Do you want me to ask? For both of us?” I didn’t want to go at all. In fact, even if I asked, I probably wouldn’t go anyway.

  Amber smiled, and I knew that was a yes. With everything I’d experienced in the last couple days, I was feeling a bit too old for all this. There were bigger things in life, more important things.

  “Who do I ask?”

  “Guess.”

  I sighed and took a survey of the room. It was pretty easy to spot Lacy standing with her fellow cheerleaders, the rest of them in normal clothes. Great, I’d have to approach the group. I might have been a little indifferent to school politics, but I wasn’t an idiot. And anyone who didn’t find approaching a group of cheerleaders to ask if they could come to their party terrifying was a big idiot.

  I crossed the room. They saw me coming and looked at me with bemused smiles on their faces.

  “Hey, Lacy.”

  “Hey, Riley.”

  “I hear you’re having a party.”

  Lacy grinned and glanced over my shoulder. I was pretty sure she was looking at Amber.

  “I am.” The other girls giggled. I don’t know why. They just did that sometimes.

  “Can I come?”

  Lacy looked at me. “Something’s different about you, Riley.”

  “Yeah?”

  She thought for another moment, gave me a good once over and then leaned in. “Did you lose it this summer?”

  That was unexpected. “Lose it?”

  “Yeah.”

  Now this was an interesting situation that I hadn’t expected to encounter. Most people didn’t give a damn about my private life, it was so boring. I hadn’t thought that maybe people speculated about what I did in my spare time. I guess I had virgin written across my forehead in bright neon letters then. Though, I didn’t think I acted all that virginal. I mean, I didn’t wear white shifts to school or anything.

  I guess, though, I had gone through a fair bit recently. I had seen a naked guy, and that was new. I’d also bound and gagged him. And shot him in the face. I don’t know what made me do it, but I found myself saying, “Actually yes. Is that a problem?”

  Lacy squealed, and some of the other students already sitting down looked over at us. “Oh my god,” she said, and linked arms with me. That was weird. “Finally! I mean, honestly, Riley, y’all aren’t that ugly. This should’ve happened way before.”

  “Well…”

  “Okay, you’re coming to the party, and you have to come because you hav
e to tell us all about it.”

  What an incentive.

  “Sure. And Amber’s coming too.”

  “Okay, whatever. Who was it?”

  “Who was what?”

  “It wasn’t Dan was it?”

  Dan, my lab partner Dan? The guy who stared at me whenever I’d look through a microscope as if I was the thing that was being observed? The guy who always looked like he was smelling something unpleasant? The guy who smelled unpleasant?

  “Uh, no. And that’s kind of insulting.”

  Lacy laughed again. Her gaggle giggled. “He is pretty gross. Who was it then?”

  An angel, I thought. And then I thought, well, no, that’s not even remotely true. Okay, that had been a really embarrassing thought. Where had that even come from?

  Lacy could sense my discomfort and seemed to enjoy the moment even more because of it. “You don’t know him,” I said.

  “Come on, you can’t keep it a secret forever. Is it really scandalous?”

  I imagined now she was thinking it’d been some old married guy or something. But I was saved by the proverbial bell. Well, actually, not at all. I was saved by the literal bell, and I made a quick dash to grab the seat Amber was saving for me.

  “Well?” she asked quietly as Mr. Williams started to take attendance.

  “We’re good.” No I’m not. I’m not good at all.

  9.

  The best thing about the first day of school was that it was always a half-day. This meant I didn’t have to put up with Lacy’s sideways glances for too long, or Amber constantly going on and on about what she was going to wear later on. The bell rang, and I was out of there like a shot. Having just become intimately acquainted with the power of a shot, I knew what that was like.

  It took around half an hour to walk home. It was one of the disadvantages to living in an isolated old house. But I never really minded except when the weather was really bad. Most of the time it was good for thinking. This time it was good for getting angry at myself.

  I still couldn’t understand why I’d lied to Lacy like that. And I wasn’t sure what I’d do at the party. Would I continue with the lie? Build on it? Or should I just come clean? I knew pretty well that lies got found out. Then again, it seemed lately I was pretty good at telling them. Still, how long could I keep up a lie about doing something I had no idea how to do, with someone—and here was the kicker—who didn’t exist? I mean, this was a pretty small town. I couldn’t just make someone up. Except if I said it’d happened in Rochester.