by A. m Madden
“Well, whether you believe it or not, I was devastated.”
“Cut the drama, Jessa.”
“Jack, I still love you. One of these days you’ll believe me and realize you love me too.”
“You’ve lost your mind. I don’t love you nor have I ever.”
“So you propose marriage to anyone you fuck?”
“Please. We were in high school. Everything I did back then was controlled by my dick.”
“And what exactly has changed?”
“Hilarious. A lot has changed. I figured out what love is.”
“You have? What you figured out is you’re obsessed with her. You were obsessed with me too, once. I’m determined to help you remember your feelings for me and bring them back to the surface.”
“You’re insane. You were an easy lay, and I took it.”
“This is exactly what I predicted the night you fucked me without a condom. You’re stubborn as hell and impossible to talk to.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw a clear glimpse of what would happen if I did get pregnant. I predicted you would deny responsibility. So I fished the used condom out of my trash, threw it in a plastic bag, and froze it. My insurance policy.”
“You’re sick.”
“No, I’m practical and I love you.”
“Oh my God! Am I talking to a wall? I do not love you. Is this what you are trying to do? Trap me?”
“Jack, do I look like the kind of woman who would have a kid to trap you? I hate kids. But since it has happened, I take it as a sign we are meant to be together.”
“You hate kids, but yet you fished a used condom out of the trash in hopes you got pregnant?”
“No. I fished it out just in case I got pregnant. After you fucked me against the wall and called me a barren whore, I had a nightmare that night. I woke up in a cold sweat.”
Is she for real? I have little to no patience for this song and dance. As I’m about to tell her so when she continues and catches my attention.
“I clearly saw my future, and your involvement in it. I knew you’d deny and run if I were to become pregnant.”
“You are a delusional bitch.”
“Now is that a way to talk to the mother of your child?”
“Let’s make no mistake about this, Jessa. If, and I mean if this baby is mine, I will fulfill my financial responsibilities, but that’s it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I do not love you. I do not like you. I do not want anything to do with you. I plan on spending the rest of my life with Leila. I’ll never look back.”
“Jackson, do you think Renata and Peter would allow their only son to turn his back on his child?”
A chill runs down my spine. “This has nothing to do with them. Leave them out of this.”
“I intend to. I doubt they would stay out of this once they find out I’m pregnant with their first grandchild. What an exciting event in their lives. Or Lizzy? Turning away from her niece or nephew? What about that sweet little girlfriend of yours? I don’t think she would want to be with such a cold, callous man.”
The more she speaks the more I feel sick to my stomach. “Enough. I don’t want to hear from you until you have the test results.” I spit out through clenched teeth before ending the call.
I feel my blood pressure rising with every breath I take.
I wander aimlessly for a few minutes, trying to calm down. My thoughts go to Leila. I need to let her know what we are dealing with, that no matter what happens, she will always have my heart.
As I walk the mall, I get some stares from a clump of the guys hanging out by the food court. One of them is wearing a Devil’s Lair t-shirt. I nod while they all continue to stare. The dude with the t-shirt opens his mouth to say something, but then quickly dismisses that it could actually be me casually strolling through a mall in the middle of the afternoon.
On impulse, I duck inside Tiffany’s. I really should get back to the bus, but instead I find myself searching the glass display cases. I haven’t a clue what it is I am looking for. It doesn’t take long for the sales vultures to circle.
“Can I help you?” A woman with way too much makeup and way too tight clothing smiles at me like we are the best of friends.
“No, thanks.” I spot a necklace in one of the cases and it stops me in my tracks. It’s a thin silver chain with a small heart dangling from it.
The saleswoman keeps her distance, but barely. The minute she sees me looking up, she pounces. “That piece is exquisite. It’s filigree eighteen-carat, white gold, imported from Italy. It comes in…”
“I’ll take it.”
She tries to sell me a few other things, probably because she thought I was a sucker for not even asking how much the necklace cost. I’m a minute away from telling her off, when she finally wraps my choice.
Back at the arena, Dylan is talking to our driver, Tom, outside the bus. The guys are still not back from wherever they went off to this morning. I don’t think they are thrilled with the whole situation. I really should talk to them, especially Hunter.
As I approach the bus, Dylan notices me first. “Hey, Jack.”
“I spoke to Jen.”
“She called me and filled me in.”
“How much pull do you have?”
“Normally, it would be hard to get a security guard for a tour of our size. Due to the whole fuel line thing, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Dylan. I’d appreciate it. Tom, have you seen Leila?”
“She hasn’t left the bus. She’s still in the back.”
Walking towards the closed door, I quietly knock. “Lei?” When she doesn’t respond, I open the door to see her lying on her side sound asleep. Her right hand is clutching a tissue and her left is clutching my shirt.
I move to sit next to her, softly stroking her back. “Hey,” she says, when she opens her eyes.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I must have nodded off. I called Lori, she exhausted me.”
“And what did Lori say?”
“Well, she claims she knew about us. She said we were too obvious. She is happy I am finally,” she raises her fingers to motion air quotes, “getting some.”
Laughing at her expression, I lean over to kiss her gently. “Did you tell her you are more than getting some?” I mimic her motion.
“No way. That’s none of her business. That kind of info would fuel her for years.”
Chuckling at her admission, I ask, “Did she bring up Matt?”
“No. So of course I did. She said she has no intention of starting something with him. But I don’t believe her. I think she’s turning the tables on him and she’s enjoying the chase.”
“Interesting. Did you mention Trey?”
“Yes. She is trying to meet us in Chicago. I worry she’s stringing him along though. If she has Matt on her mind, it’s not fair to deceive Trey. I said although I’m dying to see her, I wasn’t sure coming to Chicago was a good idea if she isn’t planning on a relationship with Trey. She said they are both honest with what their relationship is, and Trey’s a big boy. I think it’s wrong, but hell, what do I know?”
“She’s right. Trey is a big boy.”
“I guess…” She stretches lazily. She seems in a better mood. I hate to spoil it, but we really do need to talk about what happened earlier.
“Want to hear something cool?”
“Yeah.”
“I saw a guy wearing our t-shirt at the mall.”
“Really? That’s awesome. Wait, why were you at the mall?”
“Just killing time.”
“Jack, you shouldn’t be going out alone.”
“I was fine.”
Motioning toward the bag in my hand, she says, “What’s that?”
“Oh. I picked this up for you.”
Pulling out the small box, she looks up at me sadly. “I kick you off the bus and you buy me a present?” she asks and smile
s warmly.
I decide to get it over with. “Lei, I spoke to Jessa again.”
She sits up and her smile fades immediately. “Why?”
“I asked her how she got my DNA.”
“Oh, and?”
“I rather not tell you this, but I want you to know I’ll hold nothing back from you.”
She takes a deep breath and nods, “I want to know.”
I give Leila all the details of my fateful night with the bitch. I do edit where she claims undying love and predicts how my parents will react. That part she doesn’t need to hear. When I’m done, Leila has the same sick look I had outside the mall.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Babe, she is ruthless, conniving and calculating. I want you to know I don’t trust her. I know she is jealous of our relationship. I want you to know you will always have my heart. You own me.” She looks at the box as I lift it towards her. “Open it.”
She opens the lid and lifts the chain until the small heart is eye level, swaying gently back and forth. “I love it.”
“Can I put it on you?”
Nodding, she turns and lifts her hair. I place a kiss on the back of her neck and fasten the necklace. When she faces me, her finger is stroking the delicate heart as it nestles in the hollow of her neck.
“I know this doesn’t begin to make up for all the crap I’m putting you through. I just wanted to give you something symbolic of how I feel, a reminder.”
“Jack, I’m sorry.”
Shaking my head, she continues, “Yes. I acted horribly. I’m sorry. I could have handled it better than I did.”
“I feel so stupid for not questioning her. I should know better. I promise to get my head out of my ass, but you can’t shut me out.”
“Jack, sometimes I need time to calm down. I’m not proud of the way I freak out, but it is part of who I am. Once my brain clears, I’m then able to act rationally. I promise I’ll do my best not to, but if I do I need time alone to reel it back in.”
“Ok. I get it.”
She leans over and kisses me deeply. “I love you,” she proclaims, once she pulls away.
“I know.”
Running her fingers through my hair, she leans her forehead against mine. “Are the guys back yet?”
“Nope.”
She looks into my eyes, her gaze is filled with pure heat. “Is the door locked?”
Giving her a half smile, I get up to lock the door. “What do you have in mind, Miss Marino?”
“I’ll show you.” She reaches for my t-shirt and pulls me towards the bed. While on her knees on the edge of the bed, she takes the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls it up and off my body. Watching me the entire time, she drags her fingertips across my chest, down my stomach, towards the button of my jeans.
“Have you hit the tequila?”
“Nope,” she retorts, as she unbuttons my jeans. She leans forward to kiss me. My hands snake around her body, pulling her flush to me.
“I love when you take control,” I admit, in between kisses.
“Hang on…it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” She steps off the bed and stands.
Her gaze lights my cock on fire. She smirks seductively as she lowers my zipper. She slowly drags my jeans down my legs until she is kneeling before me. Her expression becomes predatory when she looks at my Calvin’s. She kisses me through my briefs and places her lips on the exact spot I need them to be. My abs flex automatically as I wait for what’s yet to come.
Hooking her fingers into the waistband of my briefs, she pulls them down, releasing my stiff cock in the process. She gently pushes me, until I am seated at the end of the bed. Bending to remove my pants and briefs that are embarrassingly around my ankles, she then positions herself between my thighs.
As we stare at each other, the electricity practically becomes visible. Leaning into me, she lifts her lips to kiss mine, my erection now an intrusion between us. Her kisses start out torturously slow, inch-by-inch, down my body. I close my eyes and desperately try to control my excitement, wanting this to last as long as possible.
She looks up at me one last time before she bends to take me. The warmth of her mouth surrounds me as her tongue works me over and over. Her hands spread on my inner thighs, her hair caressing my abdomen and her mouth on me are our only contact. The inside of her mouth feels like pure heaven. I can feel the build in every cell of my body each time she moves down. I’m losing the battle to hold back. She senses I’m close and increases her efforts until I groan loudly with my release. It goes on and on, and she doesn’t let up until I’m done.
I lay back on the bed completely spent and panting from the exertion of my orgasm. Leila slows her methods, kissing her way up my body. Positioning herself in the crook of my arm, she waits for me to recover. My girlfriend is always sexy as hell, and our sex life is off the charts, but it’s a complete turn on for me when she initiates.
I wrap my arms around her and grip her tightly. The only words I can manage to say are, “Holy fuck.”
Back stage after our Pittsburgh show, exhaustion is visible on each and every one of our faces. We are waiting for Dylan to discuss the picture that appeared online of Leila and me kissing backstage in Boston.
Krista from L.R.V Media’s publicity department found it on the Leila haters’ blog site and they aren’t happy about it. Some of the posts from fans on our own website were also less than thrilled as well. Krista immediately called Dylan. He filled us in right before rehearsals, and he called Jen during our show. It’s a matter of minutes before my phone will start ringing from her call.
It could have been anyone who posted that picture. There is no way of telling where it originated. Most likely a stagehand sent it to a friend and it spread from there. The fact it took days to materialize only supports this theory even more.
Hunter, Scott and Trey sit quietly. I had a sit down with them before rehearsal. Hunter spoke first and confessed he is worried how this whole mess will affect our careers. More importantly, he is worried about Leila and me. Scott said this isn’t our fault, and it sucks it has to be this way. Even Trey said we are meant to be. Bottom line is they support us. It means the world to me to know how they truly feel. Their words touched me in a profound way.
Leila has been noticeably quiet. I attributed it to her freak out this afternoon, in conjunction with the news from Krista. I wasn’t able to talk to her yet. I can’t wait to get her alone to assure her the guys support us and the fans will eventually as well.
Our show was lacking. I could barely concentrate on the lyrics of our songs. I didn’t engage with the guys in my usual ball-busting way. I also decided not to sing my ballad, as not to fuel the gossip mill. So all in all, it sucked.
Our current dour moods are a culmination of all the above, and here we sit and wait. Leila sits alone in a chair across the room. I know she’s trying to keep it together for me, but she isn’t very convincing.
Needless to say, I’m falling short in giving my band or my girlfriend words of encouragement at the moment. I just can’t think of one thing to say to any of them. Deciding on honesty, I start with an apology. “Guys, I’m really sorry you all have to go through this.”
“It’s not your fault.” Hunter says half-heartedly.
Unexpectedly, Leila quietly responds to Hunter. “It’s my fault. I’m sure you regret adding me to the band.”
“Lei…”
“No, Jack. All this crap is because of me. It’s because I fell in love with you. If you and I hadn’t gotten together, you wouldn’t be saddled with this shit. I knew this would happen.”
Her words stun me. Where the hell is this coming from? I clench my jaw and respond tightly. “We’ll talk about it later.”
The anxiety in the room becomes suffocating as Leila and I glare at each other.
Dylan finally appears. He takes a quick look around the room, first noticing the looks on our faces. “What’s wrong?”
Sighing, I’m the first to speak. “I wasn’t happy with our show.” I don’t want to drag Dylan into this.
“Oh, they loved you. Don’t sweat it.”
“It wasn’t our best performance. I take responsibility for that. We all had that picture on our minds.”
“You’re upset about it being leaked?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Don’t worry about that. Krista is on it, and in the next few hours she will be watching the Internet. She’s prepared to release our statement at any moment.”
He makes it all sound so simple. We all know the next few hours will definitely set the tone on how the fans will respond to Leila and me being together. “I’m sure Jen doesn’t feel the same way.”
As if on cue, my phone finally buzzes with Jen’s number. “Jen.”
“Ok, so the shit is hitting the fan.” Just as I’m about to tell her off, she adds, “But we are prepared and we will deal with it. We are going to spin this in to the greatest love story ever told.”
“What?”
“I’ve spoken to Krista. Why not put our own leaks out there?”
“Our own leaks?”
“Yes. Pictures of you two, fan sightings and gushing comments, all planted by us.”
The rest of my band, Leila and Dylan all gape at me, wondering what I am hearing over the phone.
“It sounds like a good plan.”
“It is, trust me. Malcolm actually gave me the idea. Why not control the gossip? It’s going to happen anyway. Let’s steer it in the direction we want it to go.”
“Jen, I’m surprised and impressed, thank you. I honestly was prepared to fight with you over this.”
“I’m full of surprises, Jack. When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I want you to succeed? I’m not the enemy.”
“I know you do.”
“I have more good news. We’re adding shows to Vegas, Miami, and now ending in New York with two nights.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You’ve sold out every show so far. People want to see you. We’re going to give them what they want. The show we are adding with be in The Garden.”
