“Babe, what's wrong?” I asked hoarsely, fear evident in my voice.
She blinked her eyes, looked at me, then flew off the damn bed and launched herself into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist as she buried her head in my neck and started sobbing uncontrollably.
“Fuck, Ava. You're scaring the shit out of me, babe. Gotta tell me what's wrong,” I implored her as I stroked my hands up and down her back.
I kicked the door shut with my foot, then made my way to the bed and sat down. I tried to pry Ava away from me so I could look her in the face, but she had such a fucking hold on me that I would have to hurt her to pull her back any, and there was no way I would ever intentionally hurt her.
I didn't know what else to do other than let her cry, so that's what I did. I murmured to her, words of comfort and love. I didn't even fucking know what I was saying because my thoughts were whirling around in my mind like a push top toy spinning endlessly around in circles and getting absolutely nowhere. I watched the clock and after five minutes of heavy crying I knew I had to get her to listen to me or she was going to make herself sick.
“Babe, you're gonna make yourself sick if you keep crying this hard. I don't want you to do that,” I murmured to her.
It was like a switch had been flipped because the moment my words penetrated into her brain she pulled back and stared at me, horror crossing her face. She then put her hands down on her stomach, like she was trying to hide it or protect it.
“Ava, what the fuck is wrong? You're driving me insane here,” I commented to her as I wiped the tears from her face.
She looked into my eyes and I saw awe in them as happiness and fear raced across her face. I was fucking beside myself now. She fucking had to tell me what the fuck was wrong.
“Babe, tell me now,” I snapped out at her.
She reached and grabbed one of my hands, placed it on her tummy then covered mine with her hands.
“I'm pregnant, Dog. Thirteen weeks. And I'm so fucking scared, happy, worried, terrified, and ecstatic. I didn't want more children. Ever. Now the decision has been taken away from me. Dog, but what if something happens to our baby? I couldn't handle it. It would destroy my soul. God, Dog, I just… I just...” she shook her head like she couldn't find the words.
As I ran her words back through my mind it hit me like a sledgehammer what she had just told me. I glanced down to where she had my hand clutched to her stomach. My baby was inside there. She was carrying my baby. Oh, dear God. She was carrying our baby. I raised my eyes back to hers. I knew shock and disbelief had to be on my face.
“You're pregnant?” I whispered to her.
She nodded as a tiny small smile crossed her face.
“You're carrying my baby?”
Her smile grew as she nodded again.
“Oh fuck, babe. You're gonna have our baby,” I choked out.
“Yeah, Dog. I'm gonna have your baby,” she whispered back to me, her eyes roving over my face, searching for signs of how I felt.
I lifted my hands, cupped her face and brushed my lips across hers in a tender kiss. Suddenly I had to feel her, had to be inside her. I stood up and her legs tightened around my waist. I reached down, unbuttoned my jeans and somehow managed to push them and my boxers down to my thighs. I sat back down, and as if she knew what I needed, she reached down and raised my cock up so I could slide her down on me.
Once I was fully seated inside her, I just sat and held her. Rubbing her back as I gazed into her eyes. I could feel her vaginal walls tightening around my cock and I swear the damn thing was bigger than it's ever been.
“Babe, tell me what you're feeling.”
She sighed, “I'm happy. I'm glad the decision to have kids was taken out of my hands. I didn't realize how much I wanted our baby until it sunk in that I really am pregnant. But, oh god, Dog. I'm so scared. I feel helpless. I know there's no way we can keep the baby completely safe, and that terrifies me to death. Losing Mason was a pain I don't think I could live through a second time, Dog.”
“I understand that, babe, maybe not quite to your degree. Losing Angel was agony, even though I hadn't had the chance to meet her yet. But I had talked to her every day when I rubbed Beth's stomach, and she would kick at my voice. She knew me, Ava. She knew I was her dad. And, yeah, babe, losing a child is the fucking hardest pain to overcome. But, Ava, every parent has to face the possibility of that happening when they have a child.”
I continued looking into her eyes, trying to determine if she was understanding what I was trying to say.
“We aren't omniscient. The not knowing can be terrifying. Yeah, I know it's harder for you and I don't blame you for having that fear, but, babe, we were never promised easy, we were never promised a life without pain and that fucking sucks. If we let the power of fear lead our whole life, then we will never really truly have lived. We will just be hollow people going through the motions of living an empty life.”
I ran my hands down her face and uttered huskily, “Ava, this makes me so fucking happy. I always wanted more children, but as the years passed by, I didn't think I would ever get to experience being a dad again. That was one of the greatest joys of my life. Raising Beau. I had kinda made peace with the fact it wasn't in the cards for me again.
“Just like I didn't think I was going to find love again. But you walked into my life and saved me. And now you're making all my dreams come true, you're having my baby. Thank you for this, Ava. Thank you for not saying you didn't want to keep the baby. It would have killed me if you had decided not to have him or her.”
Horror crossed her face, “I could never have done that, Dog. This baby is a part of you and me. I already love her.”
“Her, huh?”
“Yeah, her.”
“I can live with having a little girl. Wait. Fuck. I need more guns,” I exclaimed mentally running over the guns I already owned.
Ava started snickering, soon it turned into a full belly laugh, it was so infectious that I had to laugh with her.
As her laughter died down, she placed her hands on my face. “Dog, I'll probably have a lot of little meltdowns. I'm warning you now. Just always be here to hold me through them, okay?”
“Always, babe. Always,” I promised.
I rolled us over on the bed and managed to get us mostly laying on it without losing our connection. I leaned over her with my weight on my forearms and just stared at her. I didn't move at all.
As we silently gazed at each other, I felt her walls contract and release over and over on my cock. I'd never fucking done anything like this. My cock pulsed and throbbed feeling the force of her sweet pussy milking me.
Gradually, our breathing started picking up. I watched her face as she was overtaken with passion and excitement. I could feel my balls draw up tight, then my spine started tingling. Soon, she was panting, and I was breathing raggedly. Still I didn't start thrusting in her, nor did she make any outward motion.
The only movement was inside, where our bodies were joined together, close to where she was carrying our baby. The thought of the baby made my cock jump back and forth in her, hitting her G-spot. And like a tsunami, our orgasms crashed over us, sweeping us out to sea on a wave of feeling that was mind blowing.
As we lay on the bed, me flat on my back and Ava on her side with her head on my chest, I heard her sigh.
“What's the sigh for?” I asked her as I lazily ran my hand up and down her side.
“Dog,” she said as she lifted up and looked into my face, “will you please tell me what you did to the man that killed Beth and Angel?”
I grimaced, “Babe, it's not something I like to talk about.”
She watched her finger as she ran it down my chest.
“You really want to know, don't you?” I murmured.
She looked up at me and whispered, “Yeah, Dog. I'd like to know what you did to make him pay for what he did.”
Now it was my turn to sigh.
“You don't repeat this to
anyone, understand me?”
“You didn't have to say that, Dog. I'll never tell anyone the things we discuss. You have my word on that.”
I smiled at her then drew in a deep breath and began, “Once we learned who it was, we had to figure out a way that wouldn't have any blow back on the MC, because if it looked suspicious at all, the police would have come knocking on our door first. If Sarge hadn't managed to keep me calm, I'd probably be in prison. I just wanted to go find the fucker and kill him. I didn't care how. But Sarge and Gunny kept my head in the game. They told me I had to think of Beau and they were right. I wouldn't have been any good to my son sitting in a six by eight cell somewhere.”
She nodded letting me know she understood where I had been coming from emotionally at that time.
“Sarge put someone on him and we watched him for a few weeks and learned his habits. He drove a restored GTO at the time, which made what Sarge came up with perfect for me because there was room for me to hide in the backseat. Every Saturday night, he would go out drinking, smoking pot, snorting shit up his nose. So each time he got behind the wheel, he was this ticking time bomb just waiting to kill someone else.
“After we got everything figured out, a few of us went to the bar he was at. I broke into his car, got into the back and waited for the fucker. Sure enough, as he came out of the damn bar he was drunker than a damn skunk and so fucking high he could hardly walk. Luck was with us that night, no one else came outside. I had a balaclava on, but with my size if someone saw me it had the potential for it all to go to hell anyway. When he got in the car and leaned back, I reached forward and snapped his fucking neck.
“I'd unlocked the passenger side door when I got in and as soon as I broke his neck, Gunny opened the door and dragged him into the passenger seat. Since Gunny was about the same height as the fucker, he drove us to a spot that we had picked out that was on his route home. The road had about a quarter mile of straight stretch before it hit a hard curve, if you didn't make the curve, you'd go through the guardrail and off the side of the mountain. We had men watching the road above us and below us, we didn't need anyone coming by and catching us.
“After Gunny stopped the car and got out, I got out from the back and dragged the fucker’s ass back over to the driver's side. We’d had someone break into his car a few days earlier and get measurements for us so that we could make a two inch cylindrical piece of ice that we cut to the perfect length to reach from his seat to where it would push his gas pedal flat on the floor.
“Once I had it placed, I started the car and slammed it into drive fast since the motor was racing. It took off like a bat out of hell. The car plowed through the guardrail, went airborne for about forty feet before it plummeted and crashed at the bottom of the mountain. We weren’t sure what would happen upon impact, so we had taken every precaution we could think of in case there was an investigation into the death. Luckily, the car exploded and blew sky high as soon as it hit the ground.
“We didn't wait around for anyone, just got the hell out of there. It was ruled an accidental death. There really wasn't anything left to prove it hadn't been an accident. The police questioned people at the bar and multiple people told them he was drunk. That was good enough for them and the case was closed.”
“So you had your vengeance and justice was finally played out. I want that soon, Dog. I want this to be over with so I can put the past behind us and start living for here and now. Living for us.”
“You'll get it and soon, babe. I promise you that.”
“Good.”
“Babe, got a plan already in place. His death might not be the way you wanted, but I have to protect this club just like Sarge and Gunny did.”
“Dog, as long as he is dead and I get to watch the motherfucker die, I don't care how it's done,” she stated emphatically.
“Okay, I'll get it set in motion,” I said as I picked up the phone and sent a group text for Church at six tonight.
Then I held Ava in my arms as she drifted off to sleep. I just lay and held her as I mentally went over everything. It wasn't a complicated plan, we just had to make sure we weren't seen. That was the major obstacle to the whole thing. But Ava was right, it was time to get this part done, to get the motherfucker out of our lives. Because no one was going to come gunning for her again, not as long as there was breath left in my body.
The last thing to cross my mind before I drifted off for a nap was the thought that I was going to be a dad again. With a smile on my face, l let sleep drag me under.
~***~
Chapter 20
Some of us, for better or worse, develop very stable, consistent, and largely predictable machineries of self. But in others, the self machinery is more flexible and more open to unexpected turns.
~Antonio Damasio~
Mad Dog
August 29th, 1998
I left Ava still sleeping and headed down the stairs. We hadn't found anything drug or sex trafficking related at all on Miller or Courtway in the past three months. Viper’s plan of transferring money out of their accounts hadn’t panned out like we had hoped. The fuckers barely had any money in any of the accounts Doom was able to find.
I wasn't going to give up trying to find something on Courtway, but it was time for Miller to die. No way I was leaving that bastard alive now. Ava had been good with letting us try to get something on the men, but that all changed once she learned she was pregnant, and I was totally in agreement with her.
So far, there had been nothing to suggest that Miller had told Courtway about what Ava's husband had heard, but I was going with that theory for now. Even when Miller was gone, you can bet your sweet ass I would still be watching out for Ava like a damn hawk. If I learned otherwise that Courtway knew about her, then all bets were off. He would be a dead man as well. If that had to happen, then we'd just have to figure out another way of learning who the other players were in their sick little games.
When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I headed behind the bar to grab a beer and saw Amy was playing pool with Reb. I had noticed that those two had struck up a friendship. It didn't appear to be anything other than that, and I hoped it stayed that way. I think they both gravitated toward the other because they felt safe knowing neither wanted any type of relationship. Still, it wouldn't hurt to keep a watch on them either.
I wasn't trying to play God in their lives, but I didn't want girls coming in with the thought that being a club girl would get her a Brother. I didn't think that about Amy, but still, I'm a suspicious bastard by nature and it's my job to try to ensure the safety and wellbeing of my Brothers.
After grabbing a couple beers, I called out to her, “Amy, can you come to my office for a few minutes?”
She nodded, handed Reb her pool stick and followed me down the hallway.
Once she was inside, she started to shut the door, “Leave it open,” I said as I made my way to my chair. I opened my beer, took a drink then asked, “So is this dinner that Miller will be attending tonight still on?”
“Yeah, it's their token show of supporting the local hospital. All the rich and shameless will be at it. I had to coordinate with Pam, Miller's secretary, to get tickets. Mr. Jerik had me make sure he wasn't at the same table as ‘the asshole,’ his words not mine, although I totally agree with Mr. Jerik.
“Agree with the man. Is it still at the Blackstone Country Club?” I queried.
“Yes. The schedule for the evening includes dinner, a silent auction, awarding the patrons who win an auction with their item, then dancing,” she informed me.
“Do you happen to know about what time people usually leave this type of event?”
“Pam and I talked about this the other day and by what she told me, I believe Mr. Jerik doesn't stay out as late as Miller does, but the last one Mr. Jerik went to, he bitched the following Monday morning about not getting home until almost eleven. He hates being around ‘insufferable people,’ again his words.”
“Huh. I actually think
I like your Mr. Jerik,” I muttered as I let the info she just gave me dance around with the thoughts of what I was wanting to do. It would fucking work out perfectly.
“Thanks for the information. How are you liking it here? Was it what you were looking for?” I inquired.
“Yeah, it's been great. I've been pleasantly surprised that all the girls get along so well. I didn't think I would like any of them, because let's face it, most women are total bitches especially when men are involved. But no one here tries to attach themselves to just one man, so that makes being here a pure pleasure.”
“Good, happy to hear that. That's all I needed. Sorry to interrupt your game.”
“No problem, Dog.” She smiled at me as she turned and left.
Fuck. Since it actually looked like the cards were lining up so that we could end Miller's ass tonight, we might as well take advantage of it. That would be one less thing I had to worry about.
With the information we learned from Doom about Mr. Jerik, we'd managed to keep Amy's involvement at a bare minimum. She basically just verified information given to us from Mr. Jerik, although sometimes she ended up being a courier between Mr. Jerik and us and vice versa. I thought back to the results of the first letter she had carried to Mr. Jerik on June fifteenth. It resulted in a meeting the next day between Mr. Jerik, Viper, Blood, and me.
~*~
Mad Dog
June 16th, 1998
As we walked into The Watering Hole, I couldn't help thinking that once again Viper had made an excellent suggestion in turning one of the back storage rooms into a 'meeting room'. He'd said that with the need to keep Ava hidden, plus with more women and children on the compound now, keeping as much business away from it would provide better safety for our loved ones. His idea was dead on too because I'd do anything to keep the club and our families safe.
Mad Dog (Angel’s Rebellion MC: #2) (Angel's Rebellion MC) Page 29
