Enslaved (Space Mage Book 2)

by Izzy Shows

"I'm sorry," Walter said, resting a hand on my shoulder. "I wish I could have found you, and I wish I knew how to find Kaidan. This just isn't one of my strengths."

  He sounded sad, and I stood up to draw him into a hug, knowing that it would be a source of comfort for him.

  "Ignore what I said. We're going to find him. I believe in us."

  "If only I had been taken instead of you two. You and Kaidan would have found me in a heartbeat. It would have taken Kaidan no time at all, I'm sure."

  "You shush with that talk right now, Walter," I said, taking a step back but still holding on to his shoulders. "If anyone had to be taken, it's good that it was Kaidan and me. We were the best suited to survive, and I'm glad you were spared our fates."

  He frowned, and I knew he was going to ask me the same thing he'd tried to ask for a week now, though I wished he wouldn't.

  "What happened, Xiva? You have shadows in your eyes you didn't have before. You can tell me."

  I dropped my gaze to the floor, unable to look at him. "No, Walter. Some things can't be spoken of."

  I couldn't bear to think of the lives I had taken back there, of the defilement of their souls at my hands. If anyone knew the shame I carried inside me, they would certainly hate me. It was a secret I would have to keep, though it would be very difficult once Kaidan was back.

  He could see into my mind just as I could see into his, and I would have to shield those memories from him. It was wrong to keep something from your yeva, and just thinking of doing it made me feel ill. They were supposed to be the person you could trust most in the world, the other half of you, the person you could share all of yourself with.

  But I couldn't risk finding out what Kaidan would think of me if he knew I had spilled needless blood. I had murdered innocents who had been captured against their will and made to fight me. It had not been battle, it had been murder, and I would never forgive myself for it.

  Even if Kaidan or Walter could forgive me, which I knew they would not, I did not deserve such a thing. I deserved to carry this burden for the rest of my life, to know I had failed those people in the worst possible way.

  "Why won't you talk about it?" Walter asked, bringing me back to the present.

  I took a few steps away from him, wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't want to. Is that so hard to understand? You wouldn't want to talk of it, either, if it had happened to you."

  "Actually, as a trained psychologist, I would probably be aware that the best way to move past a traumatic event is to talk it through with another person. Sharing the load like that helps to take some of the weight of it off you and helps you to move forward. Xiva, I've heard a lot of things even in the short amount of time I've worked with the UPC as a psychologist. I don't think there's anything you could say that would shock me."

  I thought of the confessions he must have heard from soldiers, and a part of me wanted to relent. No doubt those soldiers had killed innocents at some time or other, with friendly fire, but it wasn't the same. I couldn't let it be the same.

  This was a pain I had to carry with me for the rest of my life. If what Walter said was true, and telling him would make it easier on me, that was exactly what I needed to avoid.

  "Maybe I don't want to lighten the load," I said, more to myself than to him. "Maybe I deserve to hurt."

  He came forward and touched me lightly on the shoulder again. "Xiva, no matter what happened, you don't deserve to hurt. I know you, and—"

  "You don't know the first thing about me," I snapped, surprising myself as I moved away from him. "Don't pretend that you do."

  "Xiva…"

  "We have to get back to finding Kaidan. Every click we waste on this conversation is a click he spends in torment. I won't leave him like that. I can't."

  He was silent for several beats. "All right, then, if that's what you want. But I want you to know that if you need me, I'm here. I'll always be here to listen to whatever you have to say."

  I ignored that and sat down in front of the vid screen again. "Help me with this. Your system confuses me."

  He sat down beside me with a sigh and began to type some commands into the system.

  "I'm running some searches, trying to at least find any known slave markets to see if we can start there. But like I said before, the ones I was able to find were already shut down by the time I got to them."

  "Why is that?"

  "Because slavery is outlawed by the UPC. It's still practiced in some systems outside the UPC's jurisdiction, but it's generally kept quiet."

  "Well, maybe we shouldn't be searching with a tech system, then. Maybe we need to go to one of these planets and talk to actual people who could help us find where to go."

  Walter looked at me in alarm. "You want to risk that again? That's exactly how you got taken in the first place."

  "I was taken because I was foolish and allowed myself to be distracted. I won't make that mistake again. I can swear that. Come, Walter: we have to at least try something to find Kaidan. We've wasted so much time already."

  He shook his head. "No. Kaidan will have my head whenever we do find him if I let you get taken again. I'm not willing to risk that. I know we're going to find him. We just have to keep looking."

  I stood up, frustrated. "That isn't good enough! So much time has gone by since we were first taken. We have no idea what they might be doing to him. We have to do something, Walter."

  "I know you want to do something, Xiva, but you have to be practical about this," he said, sounding quite impatient. He had every right to be impatient, though; this wasn't the first time I'd gone off on this tirade.

  "He's going to hate me by the time we find him," I whispered, giving voice to one of my darkest fears. "He's going to hate me for leaving him in torment like I did. For not being able to get to him and set him free."

  "Absolutely not!" Walter stood up now, looking horrified. "Kaidan is no doubt just as worried about you as you are about him. He won't blame you for not being able to find him. No doubt the man is blaming himself for not getting away to find you, not that that makes any sense, either."

  "You don't understand. It is my fault that I couldn't get away to find him sooner," I said, pacing across the interior of the small ship. "I wasted valuable time trying to survive there when I should have been breaking out."

  To my gratitude, he did not comment on what I meant by 'trying to survive.'

  I should have used my magic to break the collar. I should have attacked the slavers. I should have broken out of the slave market before I was sold.

  But what good would that have done? It had taken me a while to find anyone who was willing to take me off the planet I was on, and then another good long while to find Walter. And even that had mostly been luck.

  There wasn't any guarantee that if I'd broken out of my enslavement any sooner, I would have been able to get off the planet I was on. I might have been stuck there for ages trying to find someone who would take me away, rather than selling me into slavery again.

  It's a good thing I stopped holding on to my morals about reading the minds of others. The first five people I approached were going to take me captive again.

  I shuddered at the memory of the way they had looked at me, like I was a prize they could put in a zoo. It was a very good thing indeed that I had thought to read their minds, though I was loath to invade the privacy of others in such a way.

  "Xiva, you're spiraling."

  "What?" I snapped.

  "You're not thinking clearly right now. You're letting yourself spiral farther down a hole you don't need to fall down. Kaidan isn't going to hate you when we find him. He's going to be happy you're safe."

  I shook my head. "The yeva bond… I should never have let us be taken in the first place. What was I thinking? I was so focused on the little boy, I didn't even notice them coming. And then I froze when I saw them. I didn't even attack them, and then Kaidan was down, and oh, Vivoth, Nytoc, I'm so sorry for my failure."

  I couldn'
t seem to stop praying to Nytoc, even though he'd betrayed me in the worst way by possessing Zvarr and driving him to kill all of my people. I still held out hope that he had been carrying out part of a greater plan that I still could not fathom.

  There had to be a reason for his madness. I was sure of it.

  Meanwhile, I could only hope the God of Death would have mercy on me.

  "Xiva…"

  "What, Walter? What can you possibly say that will change my mind? I should never have left Eyrus. It's all my fault. I was the one who wanted to go down to the planet in the first place."

  "Of course you did. You wanted to see something new and exciting. That's not a fault, Xiva. You didn't know what was going to happen."

  I shook my head. "I should have known. I should have…"

  "What? Seen the future? I'm sorry, is that one of the many skills you have?"

  "No, of course not. Such things are not given to mere mortals."

  He came around and took hold of my shoulders, smiling. "Xiva. Be sensible. You know in your heart that Kaidan won't hate you, that he could never hate you. Now, sit down and help me try to find a way to find him."

  I nodded. "You're right. That's what's important right now. I'll deal with his hatred when we find him."

  He made a face, clearly displeased that I was still refusing to agree with him, but we sat down all the same.

  He was right about one thing. I had to focus on saving Kaidan.

  Xiva

  A large man stepped out of a ship with a big bag thrown over one shoulder, and he looked left, then right, before continuing through the docking bay. He was facing away so that only his back was visible, but there was something familiar about him. He was taller than the others around him, his hair was cropped short, and the vast span of his shoulders spoke of a muscular build and deep strength. The way he walked spoke of a hidden confidence buried beneath caution that hadn't been there before.

  Before?

  Who was this man?

  He turned then, looking over his shoulder, and his face came into view.

  Kaidan!

  I lurched to a sitting position in the bed, looking about frantically.

  A True Dream. I'd had a True Dream! I'd seen Kaidan getting off a ship at a space station, and I'd seen a sign behind him that I was fairly certain I had read properly. Oh, thank gods, I finally had something to go on.

  I jumped out of bed, ran across the hall to the bunk area where Walter and Kaidan normally slept, and shook Walter roughly.

  "Walter, wake up! You have to wake up! I know where Kaidan is!"

  "Huh?" he muttered, still mostly asleep. "What's going on?"

  "Walter, wake up!" I shoved at him again, and this time he sat up, scowling at me.

  "Xiva, what in God's name are you doing? I'm not decent."

  I looked down at his bare chest and snorted. "This matters not. Didn't you hear me? I saw Kaidan!"

  His eyes widened, and he sat up a little straighter.

  "What do you mean, you saw him? Where did you see him?"

  "I had a dream, a True Dream. I saw him getting off a ship at Xeti Three Station. Is that a station? Is it real? I saw the sign for it, and I know it must be true. Walter, please say it is."

  "Slow down, slow down," he said. "Xeti Three Station, you say? Yeah, but that's a long way from here. Still, if you saw it—"

  "Of course I saw it! It was a True Dream, Walter. They're very rare, but they happen sometimes between yevas. I'm a little surprised it took so long for one to come to me, but it must be the distance between Kaidan and me. Well? We have to get going!"

  "Yes, of course. Just let me get dressed. Go ahead and strap into the co-pilot's chair, and I'll meet you there."

  I rushed out of his room without another word, practically giddy. I had finally found Kaidan!

  Oh, gods, it was going to be so good to see him again. It pained me to be away from him, a physical ache I couldn't ignore. I was afraid that what he'd been through would affect the way he looked at me, but I dared to hope that things between us wouldn't change too much.

  I dared to hope he wouldn't hate me.

  Please don't hate me, Kaidan. I've done everything I can to find you, and soon we'll be there.

  But I couldn't help the nasty ping that came with my recollection of the dream. Kaidan's face had been hardened by pain, his gait was altered from his usual confident stride, and it was obvious that he was no longer a slave. He had freed himself, then, just as I had.

  How long had he been free?

  Maybe he doesn't want to find you again. Maybe he's been free all this time, and he's glad to be away from you. He doesn't want to find you, and he'll be angry when he sees you again.

  The thoughts tormented me, refusing to leave me alone, and for a beat I allowed myself to wallow in them. Logically, I doubted they were true. The yeva bond did not form between those who were not meant to spend their lives at each other's side, and he would have felt the same painful effects that I had, so it didn't make sense that he would want to be away from me.

  But still, I couldn't help but wonder how long he had been free, and how long he'd gone without looking for me.

  I wouldn't blame him if he'd been free the entire time and hadn't looked for me. I deserved to have gone through what I did, and more, for not noticing our captors before they took us. I had submitted Kaidan to Nytoc-only-knew what horrors, and it would make sense if he hadn't wanted to free me after that. If he hated me…

  "I can tell you're spiraling again, Xiva," Walter said as he sat down beside me.

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I said primly. "Just get us to Xeti Three."

  "Yes, ma'am," he said with a grin. "I can't believe we're finally going to find Kaidan. But what's he doing there?"

  "He got off a ship. I believe he's a free man now."

  "That's good. At least we won't have to fight anyone to get him back."

  "That wouldn't matter. I'd carve through ten thousand soldiers for him," I said matter-of-factly.

  He stared at me. "You would, wouldn't you?"

  "And for you, Walter. I do not treat kindly those who take my family from me."

  He smiled again, clearly touched. "Thank you. Now, let's go get the rest of our family back."

  With that, he threw the ship ahead. It was a short ride to the nearest stable wormhole, then we had to maneuver our way to and through a few more, and at last we were docking on Xeti Three.

  As soon as the ship was settled, I jumped out into the docking bay and looked around. I knew it wasn't likely that Kaidan was still here; it had to have been several rotations since I'd seen him in my dream, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

  I hoped he was still on the station.

  "Kaidan? Can you hear me?" I said tentatively through the yeva bond.

  "Oh my God, Xiva, is that you? Please don't be my imagination. Is that really you?"

  "It's me! Oh, thank Vivoth, I found you. Where are you?"

  My heart was full to bursting at having been able to touch him through the bond, to hear his voice again. I ran from the docking bay and shouted his name as I raced through the station, following the directions he'd given me.

  "Settle down. I can already hear you." But there was laughter in his words.

  A few beats later, I finally laid eyes on him. I put on a burst of speed to make it the rest of the way, then hurled myself through the air and into his arms.

  He clasped his arms tight around me, as if he was afraid to let go of me, and I held just as tight to him.

  "I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered, his face pressed into my hair.

  "I was afraid," I said, feeling my eyes well with tears. "I was so afraid."

  "I can tell." He pulled back a little to look at me. "Your skin is pulsing like crazy."

  "Shush!" I laughed. "It's not proper to comment on that."

  "I'm not proper," he said, his voice husky, his eyes half-lidded as he looked at me.

  My
heartbeat picked up, but for an entirely different reason. I'd seen that look in his eyes before, when he caught me in the library back on Eyrus. I shifted my weight, and I could feel the hard length of him pressing against me.

  I gasped, shocked, and he grinned.

  But just then, someone was clearing their throat behind him. "Norton."

  I tightened my hold on him, fear rushing through me. He'd gone stiff in my arms, and a look of despair had come over him.

  "I've gotta put you down now, Xiva," he said, his eyes shadowed. "I'm sorry."

  "No!" I held tight to him. "I've only just gotten you back."

  He grimaced. "I know."

  "Norton!"

  He swallowed, and with effort he pushed me away. My throat constricted as he turned around. I didn't know what was going to happen, but it felt bad. Finally, I looked past him to see who was calling his name.

  It was a male who looked to be human, with dark brown skin, brown eyes, and a bald head. He had a muscular build, but he didn't have anything on Kaidan.

  "Norton, I am hereby placing you under arrest. You are charged with being absent without leave, and you will be returned directly to Earth, where your trial will take place."

  Oh, Vivoth, no.

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  Also by Izzy Shows

  The Codex Blair Series

  Grave Mistake

  Blood Hunt

  Dark Descent

  Wild Game

  Grim Fate

  High Stakes

  Other Books in The Codex Blair Universe

  The Fallen’s Crime

  The Fallen Hunter

  Ruled by Blood

  Blood Captive: Origin

  Blood Huntress

  Blood Slave

  Blood Exile

  Space Mage

  Provoked

  Enslaved

  Recalled

  About the Author