"What exactly are you insinuating, woman?" he laughed, and I rolled my eyes at him in a fight to control my giggle when the waiter returned.
"Are we ready to order?" he asked, and Lino turned to him with a broad smile that I realized he'd been using less and less in the months before my divorce. Like something had eaten away at the happy front he wore in public, and he'd gotten closer and closer to the hardened cousin who ran the show.
"I'll have the ribollita, and she'll have the beef polpette with a green salad on the side and crispy polenta," Lino ordered, and I glared at him as I shut my menu. His look dared me to say it hadn't been my order, and I couldn't help the curiosity. I didn't order the same thing frequently, so it had become a game for him to try and predict what I might order.
Somehow, he was always right.
Always.
The waiter smiled, and I knew in that moment it was someone I recognized. "You two are adorable," he murmured before he strolled off to tend to his other customers.
"Did you hear that? We're adorable." Lino teased, poking at the scowl on my face. "Was I wrong?"
"No," I grumbled.
"I don't know why you get so upset. It isn't like I've ever ordered wrong." When I stayed quiet and sipped my wine, something red and sweet that he knew I'd enjoy, he spoke again. "How was work?"
I scrunched my face up momentarily, before forcing the lie to my mouth. "It was good."
"Uh-uh, what was that face, Little Dove?"
I ran my tongue over my teeth, before diving into the most vague explanation I could find. "Do you remember a while back when I said one of the employees was sleeping with a client's wife? Well, he evidently found out today. Came to confront Jasper and the employee about it, and obviously that wasn't a fun conversation. It wasn't bad by any means, just awkward. I mean, I've seen the guy's wife with her legs spread on a desk and another man between her legs, so it was kind of hard to look at him, you know?" My words were quiet, aware of the setting of our conversation. Lino slammed his wine down to the table, the liquid splashing within the glass.
"Why was he let into the building in the first place?" Lino demanded, and I looked at him with wide eyes.
"I don't imagine Jasper wanted to tell security that a client wasn't allowed inside because an employee had fucked his wife. We were trying to keep that information quiet." I took another sip of my wine, setting it down quietly to contrast the angry way Lino had caught attention from nearby diners.
"If security isn't up to par there, you'll have to work somewhere else. I understand you want to work, and you like your job. I can find something for you that will challenge you in the same way but ensure your safety. My security at the club is top notch."
I rolled my eyes. "Right, because I totally want to watch your employees come on to you all day long, Lino. Be realistic."
"You don't have anything to worry about. I would never have an affair, Samara," Lino explained. "Besides, maybe your presence would put a stop to it more efficiently since you're so bothered by it. We could see each other throughout the day."
"I would never have an affair either, does that mean you want to watch men hit on me?" I returned, crossing my arms over my chest. Lino eyed the move, and I was struck by the familiarity of the scene. Dobson's affair had prompted Lino to try to convince me to work for him before, and it seemed it had given him another reason to push his luck.
His face turned thunderous, even as he noted the change in my posture. "You're only giving me more reason to bring you to work for me. My employees would know better than to even look at what's mine."
I smiled, leaning into the table to hold his eyes as I spoke. "Listen to me very, very carefully Angelino Bellandi. I am not leaving my job. I am not coming to work for you. I will keep working at Lamb and Rowe for as long as I see fit. I have conceded to you in a lot of things over the last month, but this is where I draw the line. Do not push me."
I'd expected him to argue, to make demands, but instead he nodded. "Fine, but Emilio will be guarding you more closely if I can't trust the security on the premises."
"You have got to be kidding me!" I hissed. "There are all kinds of confidentiality clauses that say he can't—"
"So Jasper will get him the paperwork to sign, but he will either be up there with you or downstairs screening all visitors going to see you or Jasper. That is the only way I'll compromise on this, Little Dove," Lino argued, leaning back in his seat as the waiter dropped our food in front of us.
"Fine. He can work with security downstairs. I'll talk to Jasper on Monday," I sighed with a roll of my eyes. The only thing that made it better was the way Lino kissed my hand one last time before tucking into his food.
I wondered if things would ever even out, if we'd ever find a pattern that worked for us where we didn't bicker with one another about my safety.
I had to hope that once Lino found Connor, things would settle down, but looking at Ivory's life I sincerely doubted it.
Thirty-Six
Lino
Walking in the front doors of Matteo's home with Samara at my side felt surreal. Of all the times I'd wished I could bring her there with her hand in mine, that I could kiss and touch her like she was mine in the same way that Ivory was Matteo's, I'd finally gotten that wish.
Our journey might have been different, it might have taken us longer to find our way to the place where we could just be together, but it was no less beautiful now that we'd made it there. If anything, I valued what we had more for the fact that I'd had to work for it, just as I had everything in my life.
People might have thought that Matteo and I had been born with a silver spoon in our mouths, and while it may have been true to some extent, we'd also had to do things that most people could never dream of to survive. We'd had to endure childhoods without love. We'd had to survive fathers who took their frustrations and disappointments out on their sons with their fists.
We'd had to bleed.
We'd had to kill.
And all of it had brought us full circle, back to the first and only women who ever made us feel anything. Samara and I hadn't had the conversation about what had kept me from claiming her all those years, but I could see from the openness in her expression that she finally started to understand that not everything was as it might have seemed. That my feelings hadn't been so straightforward, even though she hadn't been mine. It didn't change anything, couldn't erase the years of pain that came from thinking I didn't want her. Of the knowledge that I'd been with other women, and she'd been with other men when we should have been together. I knew, because there were still moments when I looked at her and saw her as she was on the day she married Connor. So serious, so serene in her gown of white that drowned her petite figure. The gown Connor's mother had convinced her was perfect for her.
And when Yavin and I walked her down the aisle, the kind of pain that had torn my chest in two was the kind that would never go away. It only got worse when Connor gave me a knowing smirk, all arrogance that Samara was officially his. Like he'd gotten one over on a Bellandi, and I hadn't made the sacrifice of giving her away to keep her safe.
Maybe one day it would all just become part of our history.
Maybe one day it wouldn't hurt so much.
Just like it no longer hurt to see my cousin nuzzle his face into his wife's neck and breathe her deep like she was the best scent in the world. I knew the feeling, wanted to spend every second of my life buried in Samara.
Luna was absent from the sitting room, but I noticed Donatello was too. It would figure that the man would manage to hog the baby when I could see her. "Samara!" Ivory hopped up from her seat, swatting Matteo's hands away when he reached for her.
Samara stepped forward to hug her, and the two of them swayed side by side as they embraced joyfully. It made me regret that I hadn't brought Samara to visit more often.
"It is much nicer to see you under these circumstances than when you’re mad with anxiety. We're sisters now so you have to come
and visit with me more," she whispered.
"But they're cousins," Samara returned with a half-hearted laugh, but my heart clenched at the sight of the happy tears that had started to build in her eyes. My woman didn't cry very often, didn't let emotions get the best of her when she could just shrug it off and kick ass. So the knowledge that being welcomed into my real family meant as much to her as it did to me was like a kick to the teeth.
"Please," Ivory scoffed. "They might as well be brothers, so I'm claiming sister status. There are way too many men in this fucking family. You, me, and Chiara have to stick together."
"This is getting too gushy for me." Scar stalked toward Matteo's office. Leaning in to tug Samara away from Ivory for a moment, I took her lips in a fierce kiss. Her hair felt like silk sliding through my fingers when I cradled the back of her head, feeling like I had my entire world in the palm of my hand. She giggled against my mouth, trying to tug back when she felt the appropriateness of the kiss had gone too far.
My Little Dove had never been particularly fond of public displays, often not even letting Connor kiss her at all in public. She swatted my chest playfully, narrowing her eyes. But before she could open that firecracker mouth of hers, I turned and strode down the hallway. Matteo roared out a laugh and followed behind me, leaving the women to catch up.
She still hadn't entirely forgiven me for trying to convince her to leave Jasper, but I knew it would be a slow battle I would eventually win. She was a Bellandi, and if she wanted to work that was fine, but she would eventually come to work for our family. I'd convince Matteo to hire her as a full-time lullaby singer for Luna if I had to.
The thought, the image of her singing to a baby made my heart pang in my chest.
The only thing that made me pause before I hit Matteo's office was the sound of Yavin's voice when the front door opened. It made me turn back, stalking to the sitting room where Yavin and Samara stared at one another. Crossing my arms over my chest, I watched with interest and dared Yavin to say something I didn't like. Instead, when he met my eyes, he crossed the distance between him and Samara and drew her into a hug. Whatever he said made her toss her head back with a laugh, and I relaxed, knowing I wouldn't have to beat the shit out of my friend.
But he continued on, giving me challenging smirks every time she responded to him with her own casual affection. The ridiculous display of ownership, as if a brother ever really owned his sister, made me roll my eyes and turn back down the hallway. I'd barely settled in to lean my ass against Matteo's desk when Yavin strolled in to join us, and he greeted everyone but me pointedly.
Matteo grunted. "Alright ladies, looks like we've got something to clear up."
"I don't have a problem, Matteo. I got everything I could ever want waiting for me in the other room. Yo, Yavin." I leveled him with a bright smile, daring him to start shit but he just returned my casual greeting and took his place to talk shop.
"Ryker's working on Connor still, so he'll miss out today," Scar grunted, not saying another word about the piece of shit who had hurt Samara. While there was still tension bleeding off Yavin, he turned his attitude around real quick and got down to work.
It wasn't what we'd been before I’d married his sister, but the unfortunate reality for Yavin was that if I had to choose between him and Samara, I'd choose her.
I'd always choose her.
Thirty-Seven
Samara
Sadie and Duke arrived together, and I couldn't believe I hadn't expected the two of them to be there. I didn't know Duke particularly well, or at least not like I had in school, given that he'd somewhat distanced himself from Ivory during the last months where we'd grown closer, but it quickly became obvious that the love he'd had for Ivory didn't disappear. It just transferred to her daughter, in an entirely non-creepy way.
As soon as Donatello came down the stairs with the little bundle swaddled in purple, Duke had hurried over to claim his time with his "niece." Don came over to me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head in greeting before he made his way down the hall to join the men. Sadie harrumphed, moving over to the tank and grabbing Smaug. She handed me the lizard, and I giggled when he climbed onto my hand like the adventurous little thing he was.
No fear this lizard.
I wished I could be so brave one day, to just let people reach out without flinching away. But when he tilted his little head and looked up at me, my heart melted, and I stroked a finger over his head. He closed his eyes in contentment, turning in a circle on my hand before he settled down and snuggled into my hand so happily that I giggled. "Aren't you just the cutest?" I asked him.
He turned to look at Luna, sticking out his tongue for a moment that felt far too human-like.
"Yeah, he's weird," Ivory nodded. "Creepy little guy to be honest. With everything he seems to understand. But don't let him fool you, he's just as in love with Luna as the rest of us."
"Go wash your hands, and we'll wrestle her from Duke," Sadie grinned, and I jumped up to do it. I wouldn't even pretend I wasn't dying to hold that sweet little face. Somehow, in the two times I’d been in Ivory’s house since Luna was born, I’d never held the baby. Between the wedding and my anxiety after the abduction attempt, I was glad I hadn’t tried and tarnished my first experience with her.
When I came back, Ivory was already taking her from a pouting Duke who leveled me with a glare. "I've never held her!" I protested, holding my hands up. Laughing in response, he seemed to shake off the grumpiness and his smile became much more jovial and open. He came over, helping Ivory position my arms the proper way to hold Luna since I had no effing clue what I was doing. His hands against my bare forearms felt calloused, and I knew that he was a mixed media sculptor. Ivory had told me that the number of times he cut his hands every week was terrifying as his friend, but I hadn't expected that to translate to him having what felt like a mechanic's hands, with paint stains trapped in the cracks of his palm.
When Ivory dropped Luna into my lap, he helped me support her head with my bent arm, and her entire body from head to butt fit in the length of my forearm. Pulling back the swaddle blanket a teeny bit to get a better look at her, I watched her turn those deep baby blue eyes up to me. With the perfect little pout of a mouth, I touched a finger to her chest and wiggled it.
"Hey there, baby girl," I murmured with a smile. "You are just about the prettiest thing I think I ever saw." When I looked up to Ivory, she grinned down at me with the kind of pride that only a mother could manage.
Untucking her arm from the swaddle with a frustrated little stretch, Luna grabbed my finger tightly in her fist, holding with all her might as she just watched me. "Uh oh," Ivory whispered, a smile in her voice even before I looked at her.
But her eyes weren't on me, she watched Lino where he stood at the mouth of the hallway staring at me and Luna with a look that warmed everything inside me.
"Well, you're pregnant," Sadie said oddly.
"No, I'm not," I laughed sardonically. At least I better not have been with what I paid for birth control.
"You're about to be," Ivory roared with laughter, never taking her eyes off of Lino as he stormed toward where I sat with Luna. Duke took the hint, backing away to scoot to the other side of the couch so that Lino could sit next to me. He spread his knees and tucked me into the space between his legs, and I could feel his head on my shoulder as he stared down at the little princess. The moment felt heavy, like something had been decided right then and there without us saying a word. There was nothing I could say or do to make the moment less poignant, so I just settled against him and let it wash over me.
A strange warmth, a feeling of belonging. Nobody dared to take Luna from us until Lino declared we should get home, his voice hoarse with emotion, and I oddly wanted to cry when Ivory reclaimed Luna.
My arms suddenly felt empty. Empty in a way I'd never noticed before, as if something inside me had been woken up by holding her. Lino smiled down at me, seeming like he was somehow all-knowing about
what it meant for me.
For us.
Where I was just clueless.
I didn't want to leave, wanted to stay with Luna forever, but as the others got up to leave too, I realized just how much we would be intruding on Matteo and Ivory's time with their newborn. I wouldn't have shared her at all, I suspected.
I would be selfish with my baby when the time came, and it suddenly hit me with absolute clarity that it would be a when.
No longer an if.
I'd have a baby if I had to beg.
Lino guided me to the car, and we went home together in silence. Lino seemed as wrapped up in his thoughts as I was mine, and I had to hope that it was for reasons close to mine and not the opposite.
✽✽✽
We walked inside the front door, and Lino didn't waste a moment before he turned and pressed me against the back of it to plunder my mouth with his. I gasped, giving him access to anything he wanted at that moment. My heart, my soul, my body, my very being. Holding the baby, realizing that I wanted one of my own desperately had left me flayed wide open.
"You looked so beautiful with a baby in your arms," he murmured, leaning in to sigh into my neck. "I want a houseful of kids," he declared suddenly, and my heart stuttered in my chest.
The question erupted from my mouth before I could think better of it. "With me?"
"Of course with you, Little Dove," he laughed. "You're my wife. You'll be the mother of my children too." His look told me he thought I was ridiculous, but I still stuttered over my words. It didn't seem possible that he would want something like that with me at all.
Let alone so soon.
"Like now?"
"Very soon," he agreed on a murmur, touching his lips to mine delicately.
"How many is a houseful?" I asked, swallowing loudly. We had a huge home, surely, he couldn't mean—
"At least four, maybe six," he shrugged. "We have the room."
I gasped, shoving off the door to storm away from him and into the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of water and took a swig. "Are you insane? Six kids?"
Forgivable Sins: A Dark Mafia Romance (Bellandi Crime Syndicate Book 2) Page 26
