In Other Words, Love

by Shirley Jump

  “True. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t want to be there, it was because they worked so much. Second and third shifts paid better, so most of the time, I was with my grandmother when I was young. If Grandma was busy making dinner or weeding, I was reading alone. I guess I got used to it.” She shrugged but knew that all those hours spent by herself had caused her to be shier than her friends, and more given to solitary activities. Maybe it was a byproduct of her childhood, or a personality quirk. Either way, being alone had become her norm.

  “And you did it in college too if I remember right.”

  “How so?”

  “The carrels, in the library. They were like your private sanctuary.”

  “I did love working there. It was so much quieter than the dorm rooms, even though it was only a little wall and a few inches separating me from the person in the next one. For that time I was there, I was alone with my thoughts and my words, just in my own head like I was when I was a kid. I did my best writing then.” She shook her head. “I’m rattling on and on. Maybe that’s what comes from working alone too much.”

  “You’re not rattling on, KitKat. I love hearing you talk.” He cleared his throat, as if the admission had cost him something. “I mean, it’s nice to get to know the person writing my life story.”

  “Yeah. It is.” She had to look away, stare at a squirrel scrambling up a maple tree, so he wouldn’t see the disappointment in her face.

  Beside her, Trent kept on taking photos. He did landscape shots, selfies, but never a photo of the two of them. If anything told Kate where she stood in Trent’s heart, excluding her from the photos was a clear, concrete sign.

  They rounded a bend at the end of the trail, and there, in all their glory, was Moulton Falls. As waterfalls went in the state of Washington, Moulton wasn’t especially tall, but still breathtaking. Twin curtains of water tumbled over the side of the ridge, spilling into a dark, deep pool. “Oh, wow. That’s amazing.”

  Trent stood behind her, just over her shoulder, so close she caught the scent of his cologne, felt the warmth of his cheek. “I’m glad you like them. They’re small but mighty.”

  The rush of white water stairstepped down ridges of rocks before disappearing into the depths of the ravine. She could imagine jumping in that cold water in the summer, letting the waterfall cascade over their heads, then climbing out to lie on the rocks while the sun warmed their bodies and they talked about everything and anything.

  Maybe she should write fiction instead of memoirs, because her imaginary world with Trent was pretty vivid. Silly, ridiculous thoughts.

  “It’s so gorgeous.” She snapped a picture of the falls, then shifted to the right and feigned taking another one. Instead, she angled her camera just enough to capture Trent’s profile. One quick push of the button, and he was immortalized on her phone.

  She was hopeless. Utterly hopeless.

  Trent turned to face her. He was only a few inches away now, and with the rushing water in the background, his voice was hard to hear. She moved closer and for a second imagined him taking her in his arms and kissing her while the waterfall crashed over the rocks and the world moved on by.

  “She’s here,” he said, nodding to a space behind Kate.

  Oh, boy. Definitely hopeless. Here Kate had been thinking he was saying something romantic, and instead, Trent was pointing out the photographer. “Oh, yeah. The photo shoot.”

  Trent waved Carissa over, and in an instant, all the attention he’d given to Kate had disappeared. Kate’s eyes burned, and disappointment sank like a lead weight to the bottom of her stomach. “I, uh, can see the parking lot from here,” she said. “I’m going to go, and you two can do the photo shoot. Since I’m not part of it.”

  “Are you sure?” Confusion knitted Trent’s brows. “You’re welcome to stay.”

  And hear you remind me again that all your memories of us are just about the book? No thank you. “I have plenty of writing to do.”

  “Oh yeah, that solitude thing.”

  She nodded and turned away. Yep, being alone was the best choice right now, even if it sounded like the saddest thing she’d ever heard. Work, concentrate on work, she told herself. And maybe then she’d forget this day and the way Trent’s touch had made butterflies riot inside her. She took a few steps, waving to Carissa as she passed by.

  “Hey, KitKat.”

  Kate pivoted back to Trent, her heart leaping all over again, silly and foolish and delusional. “Yeah?”

  “Let me know when you want to come up for air. Maybe we can grab some food from Chick and Cheese.” The lopsided grin she knew so well spread across his face and reflected in the blue of his eyes, as bright as the sun on the falls a moment ago. “And, you know, talk about the book while we eat.”

  “Sounds…great.” Kate hurried away before the disappointment in her eyes became something silly like tears.

  Nine

  Tuesday morning, Trent’s world exploded.

  Well, not his world, exactly, but his social media. Last night, he’d finished uploading his pictures from the Moulton Falls hike to his Instagram. He’d scanned them after work on Monday, had seen landscapes, and posted the whole lot of pictures without a second thought. He’d added a few lines about the “Amazing day among such incredible beauty!” and hit Post.

  This morning, he’d woken to dozens of messages on his page. Normally, he’d get a few messages asking about the hike or what GOA products he’d used. A bunch of likes, a couple of shares or retweets, because his Instagram fed into both his Facebook and Twitter. Today was different—in a bad, bad way.

  I see one of the new GOA ladies’ boots in that picture. First time I’ve ever seen someone else on one of Trent’s adventures. Who is that mystery woman?

  Is the confirmed outdoor bachelor settling down?

  One of my friends saw a couple doing a photoshoot at the falls this weekend. Could it have been Trent and his mystery woman?

  Are you going to tell us who it is, Trent? Who’s the new lady in your life?

  The comments both panicked him and calmed him, which made no sense. He knew the publicity could turn on him and hurt his business. But the thought of being paired with Kate, even if only with a boot and a waterfall, sounded oddly…nice.

  “Well, well,” Sarah said as she stepped into his office first thing on Tuesday. She held up her phone and wiggled it back and forth, the controversial image filling her screen. “What were you up to this weekend?”

  Even from his desk, Trent could see what Sarah and the rest of the internet had seen—an image of the bridge with the river rushing underneath it and Kate’s ankle, pink socks and boot in the corner. He hadn’t even noticed her in the shot. Maybe because it had seemed so natural to be there with her, soaking up the scenery, remarking on the birds and the trees and the other people. She’d fit in as easily as the thick carpet of ferns filling the forest floor.

  He’d loved the entire trip, surprised by how well she’d taken to the hiking and how easily they’d worked together on the steeper parts. The girl who had never wanted to be a part of his world when they were younger had made it seem as if she’d always been there.

  Since she’d left the park on Sunday morning, Trent hadn’t talked to Kate. They’d exchanged a couple of emails when she’d asked for clarification on some of the stories he’d shared with her, but that was it. She needed solitude to work, he told himself, and that’s why he was staying away.

  Not because getting so close to her this weekend, and the overpowering urge to find an excuse to touch her, again and again, had left him scattered and distracted. When he’d gone to sleep that night, he’d thought about her. And when he’d woken up, he’d wondered if she had thought about him.

  No wonder he hadn’t paid attention to what pictures he was posting. His brain had been lost somewhere in la-la land with a relationship that would never ha
ppen again.

  “Seems you created quite the buzz,” Sarah said. “I can’t believe how many comments you have on that one photo.”

  “I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m deleting that picture.” He picked up his phone, but Sarah put a hand over the screen.

  “Don’t. Leave it.”

  “What? Why? The entire internet is trying to figure out who I’m dating.”

  “Which is great PR,” Sarah said. She sat in one of the visitor’s chairs and rested a hand on her belly. “Have you seen how many times that photo has been shared and retweeted? How much speculation is going on? You’re a handsome, single commodity, Trent, and the social media world is all aflutter trying to find out if you’re settling down.”

  Handsome and single? He could barely run his own company right now, never mind settle down with anything other than his accounting program. He didn’t need to become the newest gossip sensation. “I was with Kate. We were talking about the book.”

  Why did he feel the need to defend the picture? If he and Kate had been running off and getting married—whoa, where did that thought come from?—it was his business, no one else’s.

  “Great. Glad to hear it. This—” Sarah tapped his phone “—is exactly the kind of pre-launch buzz we need. People will be scooping up copies of the book to see if you spill any secrets about your personal life.”

  “I’m not doing that at all,” he grumbled. Which was something Kate had complained about often. She wanted more scoop, more inside information. Trent didn’t have any, and even if he did, he wasn’t in the mood to share with the rest of the world. He’d made his own luck in the world, had climbed mountains without any help. There were no deep dark secrets to expose. “This is exactly why I don’t tell people about my personal life. One boot and a second later, I’m on the cover of People magazine.”

  Sarah laughed. “We should be so lucky to land a cover like that. Hey, if you have more boot pictures, feel free to share and keep the rumors flying.”

  Trent shook his head and got to his feet. “I have other stuff to worry about today. Make that go away. Please.” He waved at his phone, then headed out of his office and down to the lobby, right as the elevator doors opened and two burly men stepped off. Finally, something business-related that he could concentrate on. “Just in time, guys.”

  On the hike, when Kate had apologized for talking so much, Trent had realized that for the first time in a long time, he’d gotten caught up in listening to her. Instead of sharing his ideas or his adventures, he’d heard Kate’s memories.

  When he’d tried to step in and take over with his plan, she’d reminded him he couldn’t just bulldoze through with his own solutions for the book—he had to work with what made her comfortable. She was the one doing the work. He couldn’t dictate how she did that.

  The next day, after a whole lot of money and a couple of calls with the contractor he’d messaged on Saturday, Trent had a solution he hoped would create an environment that made his employees more comfortable.

  As Trent led the way, the two men wheeled a large cart into the office space. Several employees stopped working and looked up at the visitors. The office, normally a hum of conversations and typing, slowed to a crawl.

  “There’s going to be a little noise going on here over the next few days,” Trent said. “We’re installing some new panels to make the workspace more conducive to the kind of environment I want at GOA.”

  There was a groan. Trent ignored it and gave the workers a nod. One of the men peeled back the cardboard to reveal an opaque glass panel painted with images of orca whales. A handful of others were stacked up behind it, all with different images. On such short notice, he’d only been able to get a few, but the rest would arrive in the coming days.

  “These will give you some privacy and a view,” Trent said. The employees gawked at the panels. Sarah sent Trent a little thumbs-up from her office. “I hope that gives you all the workspace you wanted. Either way, I think it’s time we changed things up around here.”

  A buzz started up around the room, and for a while, no work got done as the employees watched and celebrated the change to their work area. Trent leaned against the door of his office and watched the new panels go in, one at a time filling the once-clear and open space with breathtaking images of the Pacific Northwest. The panels had cost a small fortune, but given the happy current running through the room, they were well worth the expense.

  They weren’t carrels in the library, but they were workspaces that would grant some solitude. Trent almost wished Kate was here to see it so he could tell her she’d been the inspiration.

  Saying that would make a lot more of a wave than a boot picture. Better not to let her think he had anything other than friendly feelings for her. Right?

  Jeremy strolled over and leaned against the wall beside Trent. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

  “What? That I’d redecorate?”

  “No. That you would embrace change.” Jeremy put up a hand, cutting off Trent’s objection before he voiced it. “When we were a young and new business, being nimble was part of growth. You were the visionary, and you had some great ideas. But along with that, somewhere along the way, you…well, you stopped listening to the opinions of others.”

  “I did. And I’m sorry.” Trent let out a long sigh. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Lately, those words had become his mantra. “If I had listened to you last quarter, I would have delayed the IPO until next year and maybe not gotten the bad press we had in recent months.”

  “Maybe. But the fact that you don’t always listen is part of what I like about you. You’re a go-with-your-gut guy. I’m a lot more cautious, check-the-lane-three-times-before-merging kind of guy. Because of you, because you believed so strongly in this brand and kept on going despite how impossible it is to get a foothold in the clothing industry, GOA is going public. This company has become more than either one of us ever dreamed.” Jeremy gave Trent’s arm a light jab. “So listen some, but keep going with your gut, boss.”

  His gut hadn’t been this confused in years. Trent thought of Kate’s smile and the sweet sound of her laughter. Of her determination on the hike and the way he went out of his way to touch her. If things were supposed to be just business with them, why did his memory focus on everything but business? “What if my gut doesn’t know what it wants?”

  “It does,” Jeremy said. “Sometimes we’re too scared to listen. When you’re ready, you’ll hear whatever message is there, and knowing you, you’ll jump off the cliff and dive headfirst into the water.”

  “Maybe,” Trent said. He thought of the deep dark pool beneath the falls, and how tempting it would be to take Kate there for a swim this summer. The day on the mountain had been more fun than he’d had in months, a dangerous fun that could lead him down a path he shouldn’t take. “Or maybe I’m past the age where I do those kinds of things.”

  But Jeremy was already gone, heading to a meeting.

  Trent turned back to his office and stared out at the water for a long time. Then he picked up his phone and sent a text before his gut gave him another conflicting message.

  Grandma trimmed a few dead leaves off the primroses while Kate turned the pots to give them even sun exposure. It was their regular Tuesday afternoon gardening session, complete with a container of homemade wild mushroom and rice soup Kate had brought over. “So, tell me, how is it going with the boyfriend?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend, Grandma. He broke up with me after college, remember?”

  “Well, he was immature then. Surely he’s smarter now.” She turned the pot this way and that, admiring the purple blooms. “These are really coming along. I’m so glad I rescued them from that nursery.”

  Grandma had bought a dozen dying Wanda primroses a month ago on one of her excursions with Kate. The owner of the nursery had said the plants were dried and dying and beyond saving,
but Grandma had been determined, and it had paid off with a smattering of flowers and new leaves.

  “I’m so surprised. I didn’t think they’d make it.”

  “Have some faith, dear.” Grandma set the pot back in place, then dusted the dirt from her hands. “You know what it takes to get something to grow? Even when it’s stubbornly fighting you?”

  “Is this a life lesson?”

  “I’m old. Everything I say is a life lesson.” Grandma used Kate’s arm to help her lower herself into a cushioned folding chair in the greenhouse. “I’m so grateful the new furnace is getting installed this week. These old bones are going to love having lots of heat in the house.”

  “And my roof is getting patched. My landlord said he’d reimburse me because I paid for it myself. Lots of good changes around here. Or, at least, a few good changes.” Kate filled the watering can and tilted it over the flowers. The gentle shower soaked into the dark earth and pooled in the drainage tray. “I’m so glad I can help you out after all you’ve done for me.”

  “Pish posh.” Grandma waved that off. “I’m your grandmother. I loved spending time with you.”

  “You were more like my mother and father, all in one.” Kate put her back to the counter and set the watering can on the floor. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  “You would have grown up just fine, that’s what you would have done. You’re smart, Kate, and talented and beautiful. If that boyfriend of yours is smart—”

  “He’s not my boyfriend—”

  “—he’ll realize what a prize he has in you.” Grandma picked up one of the pots and turned the determined flower to face Kate. “All these little guys needed to grow is some love, my dear. Love can change everything. Even a silly boy—”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “—silly man’s heart,” Grandma finished. “I’ve seen Trent look at you, and that boy loves you.”