I Speak...Love (A Different Road #3)

by Annalisa Nicole

  “My little Katydid,” Nelly softly replies, placing her hand over her heart. Kate unthreads her fingers from mine, then both of her hands come up to her face, and she covers her quivering lips. Nelly holds out her arms, then she slowly walks toward Kate and gently wraps her arms around her trembling frame. Kate’s shoulders quake up and down in Nelly’s hold. Kate buries her face in the crook of Nelly’s neck as Nelly softly strokes Kate’s hair. “My sweet Katydid. Let me look at you,” Nelly says, pulling away to look at Kate. “My little Katydid is all grown up and such a beautiful woman,” she finishes.

  “Nelly,” Kate cries and takes her back into her arms. “I’ve missed you so much,” she says, squeezing her tight.

  “And I’ve missed you,” Nelly replies. Maddy raises her hand to Kate’s shoulder, then gently takes a chunk of her hair between her fingers. She wraps it around her finger, then gently lays it back down on her shirt. Kate reaches back and takes Maddy’s hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.

  Maddy smiles at me, then in a soft voice, she says, “I’ll finish dinner while you guys talk.”

  “I’ll help you,” Nelly says, releasing Kate again.

  I take Kate’s hand, then wrap my arm around her shoulder as I lead her to the study. Sadie falls in step closely behind, never more than a few inches behind Kate. I open the door and immediately notice Kate inhale a deep breath and hold it. Old books, rich leather, exotic wood, and the smell of lemon furniture polish dance in the air and define the exact unique aroma of our father’s memory. As she slowly exhales the memory, a smile forms on her lips.

  “It smells like he’s still here,” she says in a quiet voice.

  “It does,” I agree.

  Kate walks to the right side of the room with a smile on her lips as she looks at all of our father’s most precious belongings. She raises her finger and runs it over dozens of thick, hard backed, antique books, then along the edge of a shelf before coming to a stop. She picks up a small piece of dried clay and places it on the palm of her hand like it’s a delicate flower. Her eyes once again connect with mine, then they fill with fresh tears.

  “This was the last Father’s Day gift I ever gave to him,” she whispers.

  She gently runs her finger over her five-year-old tiny hand print, cast in a yellow flat pancake sized circle. She gently adjusts the royal blue ribbon tied in a bow at the top, then she turns it over. She smiles and runs her finger over her name written in glittery puffy paint. She flips it back over, smiles again, and places it back on the shelf next to his business of the year award given to him by the Mayor of Malibu.

  “These were his most treasured possessions,” I say, taking her hand. I lead her to the chairs in front of our father’s desk and gesture with my hand for her to take a seat. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I ask, sitting down next to her. She nods her head in confirmation, then I get up, walk around the desk, unlock the drawer and remove the file. I still remember the earth shattering feelings I felt the first time I held this folder. I sit back down next to Kate and set the file on my lap. “Before you see this, I need you to hear me when I say that what’s in here changes absolutely nothing. You became my sister the day you were born and took your first breath. Got it?” I question.

  She again nods her head, then Sadie gently rests her head on Kate’s lap and places her paw on her thigh. I place the file on top of the desk, then I open it. I splay my hands out flat on top of the photographs and papers, take a deep breath, then I pick up the photo of her as a newborn and hold it out for her to take. She removes it from my fingers and just like she did her handprint, she runs her finger over it like it’s a piece of long lost treasure.

  She looks at it silently for several minutes, then says, “You know, I always knew in the back of my mind that I looked different from everyone else in the family. I always told myself that maybe I just picked up recessed genes from generations passed. It all makes perfect sense now.”

  “Kate,” I whisper and place my hand over hers on the photograph.

  “It’s alright, really. I had the best five years I could have ever wished for with Mom, Dad, you, and River. I can still remember it like it was yesterday, walking into this office, late at night, unable to sleep. In one hand I had my favorite book and in the other, I dragged my blanket behind me. No matter what he was in the middle of, he would always set it aside and crook his finger at me to come inside. I’d run to him, then he’d set me in his lap, and read me the story. He’d lean back in his chair, cover me with the blanket, and his breath would softly hit the side of my hair as he read to me,” she says, patting the side of her head as tears stream down her cheeks. “I never remembered the last words he read, falling asleep, or him carrying me back to my bed. I just knew that when I woke up the next morning, I was tucked snug in my bed,” she says, placing the photo down on the folder, then she closes it. “I thought seeing all of this would somehow fill the hole in my heart and answer who I am, but I already know who I am, and God, that hole filled right back up and it overflows with the just the smell in this office. I’m Kate Mason, sister to River and Stephen Mason, and nothing else matters,” she says, stands, then pushes the folder to the other side of my desk.

  I too stand, turn Kate toward me, take her wet cheeks in my hands and wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

  “That’s all that matters,” I repeat to her, and hug her. “I love you, Kate,” I say as she wraps her arms around my back.

  The door to the study creeks, then opens. Both Kate and I look toward the door to see who it is.

  Maddy steps one foot inside the study, then says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Dinner is ready.”

  Kate breaks away from my embrace, looks at Maddy with a smile, then she wipes the last of her tears away.

  “Good! I’m starving,” she says, placing her hand over my heart.

  Sadie trots next to Kate as she loops her arm through Maddy’s, and they both walk toward the kitchen. I walk around to the other side of my desk, close the folder, pick it up, and place it back in the drawer. I pick up the key from the desktop, toss it up in the air, and catch it with a closed fist. Instead of locking the drawer, I throw the key in the trash. There are and never will be any more secrets when it comes to family.

  Even though Kate’s eyes are red and slightly puffy, a relaxed peace fills her face as she takes a seat with a smile next to Nelly at the table in the backyard. Sadie waits until Kate is situated, then she parks herself on the floor between them with a satisfied groan. With a smile on my face, I head back inside to grab the extra dressing for the salad. My smile quickly falls when I see Stephen standing at the kitchen island with his hands resting flat out in front of him, and his head hung low between his shoulders. I place my hand high on his back, then run it down to his side. I wrap my other hand around his stomach, then I press my cheek to his back.

  “Stephen, are you OK? Did it not go well?” I ask, confused.

  I must have misread the peaceful look on Kate’s face. Stephen lifts his head with a sigh and turns around in my arms. I look up into his eyes, then I start to panic when he doesn’t answer.

  “She’s . . . She’s not the same little girl I grew up with. She has the soft side of our mother, but the loyal, strong will, and determination of our father. She’s grown into such a strong and amazing woman,” he finally answers. A huge smile creeps up my face, then Stephen wraps his arms around me and brings me to his chest for a tight hug. He rests his chin on the top of my head, then his jaw moves over my hair as he says, “You didn’t ruin the filets did you?”

  “Stephen, I’m a chef. Of course, I didn’t ruin the filets!” I return, pushing my hands against his chest.

  Stephen holds me close, not letting me go while he starts to tickle me. I immediately fall to the floor in a fit of giggles, then I’m literally saved by the bell as the front doorbell rings. Stephen’s fingers stop their assault, then he extends his hand with a huge smile on his face to help me off the floor.
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br />   “You’re lucky I love you. Tickling is a punch to the throat kind of offense,” I say, placing my hand in his.

  He helps me to my feet, then says, “I am so lucky you love me.”

  We walk hand in hand to the front door, then Stephen opens the door to River and Joss. River has another bottle of wine in his hand, and Joss has a huge tray of what looks like baklava in her hands. Sadie noses her way between Stephen and me as her tail whips back and forth against of our legs.

  “Hey, Sadie, girl,” River coos, bending down to get sloppy dog kisses.

  “Everyone is out back,” Stephen says. River stands up, extends his hand, then Stephen places his in River’s outstretched hand. They slap each other on the back in a bro hug, then Stephen closes the door.

  “Hey,” Cooper’s voice calls just before the door fully closes, and Stephen opens the door back up.

  “I thought you had a meeting tonight?” I ask.

  “Finished up early,” he says, raising up a twelve pack of beer.

  “Everyone is out back,” Stephen tells Cooper, removing one of the bottles of beer.

  Stephen again closes the door, but it immediately opens, and Josh says, “Watch out! Hungry pregnant lady that needs to pee coming through!”

  Nina barges into the house shouting, “Bathroom! Bathroom!”

  “Third door on the left,” Stephen calls.

  “I know!” Nina calls over her shoulder as she whooshes past me, setting a huge bowl of food into my arms.

  How does Nina know where the bathroom is? As far as I know, this is the first time she’s been here.

  “How did all of these people know we were having dinner with Kate?” Stephen asks, looking at me.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the same way all of them knew about my camera payments,” I say, raising my eyebrows.

  “Good point. Do we have enough filets for everyone?” he asks.

  “Yes, we do. When it comes to this family, I know better by now.”

  I walk in the backyard just in time to see River standing in front of Nelly. She has her hand on River’s cheek, and she’s smiling at him with the exact same kind of love I saw on Courtney’s face toward her daughters, Hensley and Hartley.

  “River cat,” she says, sliding her hand down his cheek.

  Finally, Nina walks outside, and she makes a beeline for the food. She sits down and immediately starts dishing food on her plate. When she’s done, she finally realizes that everyone is staring at her.

  “What? The baby is hungry,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “Which reminds me, now that you have your camera back, Maddy, we need to do this prenatal shoot as soon as possible because I’m starting to head into the I feel like a beached whale phase. Oh, and I put your website back up this morning,” she finishes.

  “But! I didn’t even pick up my camera until after lunch! God, you guys are so . . .” I start to say.

  “You guys are so . . . what?” Nina asks, cocking her head in a challenge with her mouth full of food.

  “You guys are so freaking awesome!” I say with a huge smile. “Where were you thinking of doing the shoot at?” I ask, excited that I finally get to do another shoot.

  “In your studio, of course,” she quickly replies. Everyone again goes dead silent as all eyes move from Nina to me, even Sadie raises her head to look at me, and her ears perk up. “Shit! Was I not supposed to say anything yet?” she asks. You didn’t tell her yet?” she says, looking at Stephen. “You guys don’t know how hard it is to keep my own thoughts straight with this pregnancy brain. Sometimes I can’t remember if I put toothpaste on my pits or deodorant on my toothbrush!” she says, then shoves another forkful of food into her mouth. I look at Stephen, and his face instantly goes from shock because Nina spilled the beans to a cheesy, goofy, innocent smile. “Oh, for crying out loud, just show her,” Nina says, dropping her fork on her plate with a clatter.

  Stephen stands up, then extends his hand down to me. He pulls me to my feet as he laces his fingers through mine.

  Stephen leads me to the small cottage. New flowers have been planted along the walkway and two potted miniature lemon trees sit on either side of the front door. He opens the front door and lets go of my hand. His face lights up with a proud smile, then he indicates with a gesture of his hand for me to look around. I walk inside the cottage, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. A small waiting room complete with a signature Mason leather sofa and overstuffed chairs sits immediately inside the door just waiting for clients to sit in. A small kitchenette is to the right, then toward the back is a complete photo studio with a motorized backdrop hanging from the ceiling and dozens of large props sit on either side. A large tripod sits in the center just begging to hold my beautiful camera. Several baby themed props sit to the left, and my eyes fill with tears.

  “Nina decorated. Can you tell?” Stephen asks, slipping his hand in mine again.

  I feel the emotions building in my chest, and I can’t control the overload of utter joy filling my entire body. I look up at Stephen, and I don’t even try to stop the flow of tears. It’s not just crying but an ugly cry—crying—complete with distorted lips and high-pitched, unintelligible wailing.

  “Maddy?” Stephen questions as his face fills with concern.

  “It’s . . .”

  “It’s . . . It’s too much, right?” he questions.

  I shake my head yes as I continue to wail.

  “It’s . . . just . . .” I wail, then sniffle snot back up my nose.

  “It’s . . . just . . . not what you really want?” Stephen asks, horrified.

  “No!” I answer immediately, shaking my head no while I start to hyperventilate. No, he’s wrong!

  “I’m moving too fast. Maddy, I’m so sorry. I should never have assumed you’d want your photo studio here at the house,” he says, letting go of one of my hands. He wipes his free hand down his cheeks, then says, “Maddy, please, just stop crying. I can move all of this. We can find you another location,” he says, taking my hand again.

  “NO!” I shout, again. “It’s just that . . . it’s . . . it’s absolutely perfect! I love it, and I love you!” I finally choke out.

  “Oh, dear God, Maddy! I thought you hated it. You’re lucky I love you, woman,” he says, taking me in his arms.

  The second I’m in his arms, I begin to calm down. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and take long, deep breaths.

  “I am SO lucky you love me,” I reply.

  After dinner, everyone grabs plates and dishes, and helps clear the outside table. Nelly shoos us all out of the kitchen and insists on cleaning everything up by herself. River and Stephen head into his study, and I’m not exactly sure where Kate and Sadie went, they disappeared about ten minutes ago.

  “Take me home, Josh,” Nina says, then belches the loudest I’ve ever heard a human being belch in my life. “Oh,” she moans. “Pardon me. I think the baby ate too much food,” she says to Josh. They call their goodbyes down the hallway, then Nina kisses me on the cheek. “How about this Saturday for the shoot?” Nina asks.

  “Sounds good,” I tell her.

  Nina waddles to the front door, then she calls a very loud, “Goodbye,” over her shoulder while Josh grabs her purse and helps her out the door.

  “Have you seen Kate?” Cooper asks.

  “I haven’t, but I bet I have a good idea where she is,” I say, walking upstairs.

  Cooper follows behind me, and sure enough, the bedroom door that’s always been closed is now open.

  Kate is in her old bedroom.

  I look inside, and Kate is sitting on the bed looking around her room with a peaceful smile on her face. Sadie is sitting in front of her with her paw resting on Kate’s knee. Cooper walks into the room, and Kate’s peaceful smile turns into a loving smile when her eyes fall on Cooper. He gently sits on the bed next to her and takes her hand in his. She leans her head on his shoulder while I lean against the doorframe and think that yes, I’m one lucky
girl that Stephen and everyone that was here in this house does, in fact, really love me.

  Tonight was the last day of photography class. Before we were let out, the teacher handed out an entry form for a photography contest to an internationally acclaimed and highly recognized global magazine. He said he himself enters every year and usually wins in the category he enters, but he’s never won the cash grand prize. He said that nothing would make him happier than to see one of his students claim that prize. The second the form is in my hand, I know exactly which photo I want to enter.

  The picture of the homeless woman on the park bench.

  The problem though, the entry form clearly stipulates that if a person is the subject of the photo, a signed consent form must also be included for the photo to be entered. That part is impossible. I haven’t seen her since the day I took the photo.

  I pull into the driveway at Stephen’s, grab all of my things, and head inside. I place my bag on the floor, the entry form on the counter, then head to the refrigerator for a late night snack. I dig out a container of cold chicken, open it, then break pieces off and shove them into my mouth while I stare at the form.

  Warm arms wrap around me from behind, I close my eyes and inhale a sigh of content. Nothing feels better than Stephen’s loving arms around me.

  “What’s that?” he asks, pointing to the piece of paper.

  “Nothing,” I answer.

  “It must be something. You’ve been staring at nonstop while eating leftovers,” he says.

  “It’s an entry form for a photography contest,” I answer.

  “Are you going to enter it?” he asks, placing his lips on my neck.

  “I’d love to, but I need permission from the subject to enter the photo I want.”

  “Well, you have my permission, Sweetness,” he says, jostling me in his arms.

  “Oh, it isn’t . . .” I start to say.

  “I’m just teasing you. Who’s the subject?” he asks.

  “That’s the problem. I don’t know who she is,” I say, turning around in his arms, facing him.