Perfect Pairings

by J. A. Armstrong

  Devon’s eyes remained fixed on the infant. “Say hello to your Mommy, Darlene.”

  Carrie choked on a sob. “Dev…”

  “Seems fitting. CJ’s named after you.”

  Carrie grabbed Devon’s hand.

  “What about her middle name?” Devon asked. “What would you have chosen?” She asked Carrie.

  “Jillian,” Carrie replied.

  “DJ.” Devon shook her head. “DJ and CJ.” Devon laughed. “We’re going to get teased endlessly about this one.”

  “DJ,” Carrie whispered. “You are going to be so loved.”

  Devon kissed Carrie’s lips gently. “She’s beautiful—just like her mom.”

  “Yes, she is,” Carrie agreed, thinking that the only thing as beautiful as her daughters was Devon.

  “Let us get DJ all cleaned up and settled so the three of you can get better acquainted,” a nurse said.

  “I hate to let her go, even for a second,” Carrie confessed.

  “I know what you mean,” Devon said.

  Reluctantly, Carrie gave the baby to the nurse. She stroked Devon’s cheek. “You were right.”

  Devon shrugged. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

  “I know.”

  “I love you, Carrie.”

  Carrie’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I can’t believe it’s real.”

  “It’s real. CJ’s going to be ecstatic,” Devon giggled.

  Carrie laughed. “That might be the understatement of the century. You should go tell them,” she suggested.

  “Not yet,” Devon said.

  Carrie was curious.

  “I need to be here with you for a few minutes—just with you,” Devon explained.

  Carrie smiled. She was anxious to share their news, but she understood Devon’s feelings. She paid no mind to the small flurry of activity that continued in the room.

  “How are you feeling?” Devon asked.

  “Perfect,” Carrie replied.

  “Seriously,” Devon said. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Never better, Dev; I promise.”

  “You must be exhausted.”

  “I’m sure it will catch up to me,” Carrie admitted. “All I feel is happy right now.”

  “And relieved?” Devon joked.

  “There is that.” Carrie pulled Devon down for a kiss. “Thank you, Dev.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Yes, you did. You gave me our family.”

  “No, babe. You gave me mine.”

  Carrie sighed.

  “You are tired,” Devon observed.

  Carrie nodded. All of a sudden, she felt extremely fatigued.

  “How are you doing?” Dr. Brandt moved to look at Carrie.

  “All of a sudden, I’m exhausted.”

  “Your body has been through a trauma,” the doctor said. “I know you don’t think of it that way; it has.”

  Devon looked at the doctor with concern.

  “We need to make sure Carrie gets some rest; gives herself some time to recover.”

  Carrie nodded her understanding.

  “Having a baby is physically and emotionally draining,” Dr. Brandt said. “And, it’s taxing and exciting.” She smiled when the nurse placed the baby back in Carrie’s arms.

  “Seven pounds, three ounces,” the nurse said. “Twenty inches exactly. You should be glad she came a wee bit early.” She chuckled.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” Carrie told the baby who stretched at the sound of her mother’s voice.

  Dr. Brandt gestured to Devon.

  “I’m going to go tell my folks. Do you want me to call your mom?”

  Carrie nodded, focused on the baby in her arms. “CJ… Can you bring her in?”

  “I’ll call your mom, and then I’ll bring CJ.” She placed a kiss on the baby’s head, then Carrie’s, and followed the doctor outside. “You’re worried,” Devon said.

  “Devon, Carrie has been under stress this whole pregnancy.”

  “I know she has. Is there something I need to know?”

  “No.”

  “She’s okay; right?”

  “Carrie will be fine,” the doctor assured Devon. “I suggest you give yourselves a little time. Give Carrie a little time to adjust emotionally and physically. Bring your daughter in to visit. Spend a little time with the four of you before the masses pour in with their excitement.”

  Devon nodded.

  “She’ll be fine, Devon. I’ve been doing this a long time. An hour or two before she gets visitors won’t kill anyone. It’ll give her time to bond with the baby and with…”

  “And with CJ.” Devon nodded again. “She said something; didn’t she?”

  “When you were out of the room earlier, she mentioned being concerned about how CJ will adjust. It’s on her mind. She’s elated, Devon. She’s also worried about…”

  “I know. Thanks—for everything.”

  “She did all the work,” Dr. Brandt joked.

  Devon laughed. “That, she did.”

  Dr. Brandt squeezed Devon’s arm. “Don’t worry so much,” she advised. “Enjoy it—every second.”

  Devon took a deep breath when Dr. Brandt walked away. She looked back at the door to Carrie’s room. The doctor’s advice made sense. Devon realized as she made her way to the waiting room that her inclination in all the excitement would have been to drag everyone in to see the baby. “Good call, Doc.” She opened the door.

  “Devon?” Jillian asked.

  Devon grinned and opened her arms to CJ.

  “Is she here?” CJ wanted to know.

  “Yes, she is.”

  “It’s a girl?” Jillian asked.

  “It is. Darlene Jillian,” Devon told her mother. “DJ.” She chuckled.

  “How’s Carrie?” Lance inquired.

  “Tired, but thrilled,” Devon said.

  “Can I see her?” CJ asked.

  “Yes, you can. First, I need to call Grammy and let her know; okay?” Devon looked at her mother apologetically.

  Jillian winked. “We’ll see you all in a few hours,” she said. “I’ll bring you all some dinner.”

  “You don’ have to…”

  “Yes, I do. It’ll keep me busy until I can get in there.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Jillian kissed Devon’s cheek. “I can’t believe you gave her my name.”

  “We agreed she’d pick the boy’s name; I’d pick the girl’s. Whatever the other would have chosen would be her middle name. Carrie wanted to name her after you.”

  Jillian was genuinely surprised. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

  “You were the one she confided in the most about everything, Mom; about her fear, about this pregnancy—everything. Carrie loves you.”

  “I love her too,” Jillian said. “Anyone who can keep you under control deserves a medal.”

  Devon rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”

  “I’m always good for the truth. We’ll see you in a few hours.”

  “Thanks for understanding.”

  “I’ve been through this a time or two, Devon. Call us when you’re ready.”

  Devon nodded. “Would you mind staying with CJ while I call Gwen?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “Would you mind calling Madison and Bruce… I just… I need to call Tom, and I’d like to…”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Thanks.”

  ***

  Devon opened the door to Carrie’s room and ushered CJ inside.

  Carrie’s eyes lifted from the infant in her arms. She offered CJ a bright smile. CJ. She remembered the moment that she held CJ for the first time. “Well,” she began. “Come over here and meet your sister.”

  CJ reached for Devon’s hand. Devon looked at Carrie. She’d expected CJ to fly through the door with excitement. CJ seemed timid.

  Carrie kept smiling. “Dev will help you up so that yo
u can sit next to me.”

  CJ looked up at Devon pleadingly.

  Devon crouched down to the toddler’s height. “Don’t you want to sit with Mommy?”

  CJ leaned into Devon’s ear. “What if she don’t like me?”

  Devon pulled CJ into her arms. “CJ, your little sister is going to love you; I promise. Come on now, let’s go meet her.”

  CJ bit her lip and tugged at it gently with her teeth.

  Devon’s heart swayed in her chest. She caught Carrie’s gaze over CJ’s head. Carrie seemed unsurprised by CJ’s reaction, almost as if she’d expected it. Carrie smiled and offered Devon a wink. Devon returned her attention to CJ. “CJ,” Devon began tenderly. “Mommy’s been waiting to see you; you know?”

  CJ looked hopeful.

  “She has,” Devon whispered. “And, so has DJ.” She stood to her full height and lifted CJ onto her hip.

  Carrie kept her eyes locked with CJ’s. She couldn’t explain how, but she had envisioned this scene for days. She’d anticipated CJ’s uncertainty. She patted the bed. “Come see me,” she said.

  Devon sat CJ beside Carrie.

  CJ looked at the baby. “She’s little.”

  Carrie grinned. “She is. You were tiny too; you know?”

  CJ looked at Carrie curiously.

  “You were,” Carrie said. “I remember looking at you and wondering how so much love could be wrapped up in something so tiny.”

  Devon made no effort to push back her tears. The tenderness in Carrie’s voice overwhelmed her. She imagined that Carrie’s eyes had shone with the same admiration and awe the moment she’d met CJ as they did a short time ago. She wiped the corner of her eye. Awe was the appropriate word to describe the moment. Carrie’s expression as she guided CJ closer to their new daughter, Devon’s emotions as she watched the trio beside her, CJ’s eyes as they took in her baby sister—awe—that was the only way to explain it all.

  CJ looked into Carrie’s eyes and tugged at her lip again.

  Carrie leaned over and kissed CJ’s forehead.

  “Does she look like me?” CJ asked.

  “She does look like you,” Carrie replied. “You can touch her,” she said.

  CJ’s hand gently fell atop the baby’s head. “Hi,” she whispered. “I’m CJ.”

  The baby yawned and stretched a small fist.

  CJ giggled. “She’s tired, Mommy.”

  “She’s not the only one,” Carrie muttered.

  Devon laughed.

  “She is tired,” Carrie said. “She’s had a busy day.”

  CJ leaned over and kissed her sister’s head. “It’s okay,” she said. “I can sing you to sleep.” She began to sing a slightly off-key lullaby that Carrie had sung to her many times.

  Carrie glanced up at Devon. So, this is what perfection is? Carrie took a deep breath. Perfection would never exist for long. As far as Carrie was concerned, perfection was sometimes captured in a moment. If such a thing existed, she’d just experienced it. She existed in love. That’s all Carrie felt—love. She let her head fall softly against CJ’s as CJ collapsed against her side, still singing her tune. She felt Devon’s hand on her shoulder as it squeezed gently. There is perfection, even if it’s only a moment, there is.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to pick your folks up at the airport?” Jillian asked.

  Carrie smiled. Not only did she appreciate Devon’s mother; she loved the older woman dearly. Jillian Brine had been a Godsend to Carrie for the past few days. She’d struggled to encourage DJ to nurse the first few days. Jillian had eased Carrie’s anxiety about being a new mom, sharing her foibles and fears. Carrie looked forward to her mother’s arrival, but she had to admit that she would miss having her mother-in-law at the house.

  “Carrie? Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” Carrie replied. “My dad insisted on renting a car,” she explained.

  “I thought you’d be excited.”

  “I am,” Carrie said. “It gets a little crazy here sometimes when my parents visit. CJ gets so excited, and my mother is constantly trying to take care of everything.” She chuckled. “I love them…”

  “I think I understand. I hope I haven’t added to your stress.”

  “What? God, no,” Carrie said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

  “Killed my daughter?”

  Carrie laughed. Devon did like to hover. It was incredibly endearing, but it was also a bit frustrating at moments. Jillian’s presence calmed everyone, most of all, Carrie. “She checked on DJ three times last night.”

  “She’s enthralled.”

  Carrie grinned. “You think?”

  “She’s worried about you.”

  “I’m all right, Mom. I’m just tired. At least, I can sleep on my side now.”

  “Oh, I remember that relief.” Jillian regarded Carrie thoughtfully for a moment. “Carrie, if having people here is too much…”

  “No,” Carrie said. “That’s not it.”

  “Okay.”

  “My parents are family, but they are also guests. Three-thousand-miles creates that. CJ is CJ when you or Lance are here. It’s familiar. My parents are a novelty.”

  “Do you think that Tom could take her for a couple of nights?”

  Carrie sighed. She and Devon had yet to tell their parents about the evolution in custody of CJ.

  “Something is bothering you,” Jillian observed.

  “Not bothering,” Carrie said. “Tom is taking a permanent position in Boston.”

  Jillian’s heart stopped cold. “CJ’s moving to…”

  “No,” Carrie said. The smile she offered was laced with sadness. “Devon and I are taking full custody of her.”

  Jillian fell back against the sofa cushions.

  “I know,” Carrie said. “I’m relieved that she’s staying, but I worry about how she’ll look back on all of this.”

  Jillian nodded. She struggled to understand any parent willingly giving up his or her child. She did know that CJ wanted to be with Carrie and Devon. “I think she’ll be grateful.”

  Carrie was genuinely surprised.

  “Don’t look so surprised. She hates leaving home.”

  “I know,” Carrie said. “I wish that didn’t make me feel so damn guilty.”

  “I understand, Carrie; I do. You need to let go of that.”

  “How can I?”

  “You have to.”

  Carrie gently lifted the infant in her arms and rubbed DJ’s back. “I love her so much,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “I love Tom; I do. I know that he misses Dar. I think some part of him hoped that I would…”

  “Pick up all the pieces that she left behind,” Jillian said. “Including his.”

  Carrie’s lopsided grin told Jillian that she had hit the proverbial nail on the head. Loss shaped a person. CJ served as a constant reminder of that loss, as did Carrie. She patted Carrie’s knee.

  “I still worry that one day she’ll resent me,” Carrie confessed.

  “They all resent us a little bit, I think,” Jillian replied honestly. “It won’t be for that,” she said. “It might be for not letting her go to a dance or insisting she wait to date.” Jillian laughed lightly. “Or it might be for walking in on one of your intimate moments.”

  “Oh, God.” Carrie cringed.

  Jillian’s laughter grew. “I think Devon still harbors some issues from that one,” she said.

  Carrie giggled. “I understand what you’re saying. I think we’ve all been mildly traumatized at some point, but resentment…”

  “Don’t try to predict the future,” Jillian advised.

  “That’s what Devon says.”

  “Well, don’t ever tell her I admitted this, but Devon is right.”

  Carrie grinned. “She’s an amazing mom.”

  “Yes, she is,” Jillian agreed. “So, are you.” Jillian hoisted herself off the couch. “Do you need anything b
efore I go?”

  “Not unless you have sanity hiding somewhere in there.”

  “Sorry. That’s the never-ending payment plan of parenthood, a little bit of your sanity each day.”

  “Great. Thanks, Mom.”

  Jillian leaned over and kissed Carrie’s cheek, then her granddaughter’s. “I’ll check in later.”

  Carrie nodded her agreement and watched Jillian leave. “Well…” She turned her attention to DJ. “It’s just you and me, kiddo. Come to think of it, when has it been just you and me?” Carrie chuckled. She’d barely had a moment alone with her daughter. “One of these days, I’ll be begging them to hover.”

  DJ gurgled.

  “I hear you,” Carrie cooed. She wrinkled her nose. “And, I smell you.” Carrie laughed. “I think your grandma has a sixth sense.”

  “Who has a sixth sense?” Devon’s voice echoed first.

  “Mommy!” CJ ran into the living room.

  “My goodness,” Carrie laughed. “What’s got you so excited?”

  “Dev got me a game.”

  Carrie’s eyebrow shot up.

  Devon shrugged.

  “Look!” CJ held up her new game.

  “What is that one?” Carrie asked.

  “It’s got animals.” CJ pointed to the box.

  “Wow. That looks like fun,” Carrie said.

  “You can play too,” CJ said. “And, DJ.”

  “I’m sure your sister will love to watch you play.”

  “Yep,” CJ agreed. “I can teach her about the animals.”

  CJ grinned and took off toward the stairs.

  “Where are you off to?” Carrie asked.

  “Get changed for Grammy and Grampy!”

  Carrie shook her head. “Animals, huh?”

  Devon shrugged again. “She’s been so good. I don’t know; I thought with all the presents pouring in for DJ, maybe it…”

  “I think it was perfect.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” Carrie said. “Speaking of animals,” she said. “Your daughter’s diaper smells a bit like a wildebeest.”

  “Smelled a lot of wildebeests, have you?” Devon teased.

  “No, but I’m betting this is pretty close.”

  Devon extracted the baby from Carrie’s arms. “I’ll handle this safari.”

  Carrie laughed. “May the force be with you,” she quipped.