“What movie do you watch? You watch the same one every week?”
“Yes, these days it is The Lego Batman Movie. Lego is his language. Building Lego, working at Legoland, playing the Lego videogame at Sloan’s. It has made communicating with him easier than when we were children, but it still has limitations. How do I explain wanting to spend time with you? I thought I could use Lego figures, and he would get the transference.” She frowned. “Apparently not.”
I had no idea how to respond. I felt terrible for the weight Remi had to carry, and I felt even more terrible for wondering how Neil’s meltdown about his routine affected the possibility of a relationship with Remi. It couldn’t really count as a negative that she cared too much for her brother. That would be pretty low. “What if he met me?” I offered.
Remi quirked her head. “You want to meet him?”
“Is that a terrible idea? I’m sorry. I don’t know anything. Don’t listen to me.”
“Don’t say that. I have known Neil my whole life, and I still don’t always get him, but I do know that he is more than most people can handle. I was thinking that when I told you about the trouble he was having adjusting, you’d…”
“Pack you out the door?” I said, surprise in my voice.
“I wouldn’t blame you.”
“But…” I remembered the hurt I had felt worrying that Remi might not have read our first dates as I had. It must have taken a lot of courage for Remi to come and talk about her brother. If she could be honest and upfront, I should meet her there. “This doesn’t feel the same as anything I have ever done before.”
“How’s that?” Remi held me with her seductive brown eyes, brown like rich chocolate cake, and I wanted nothing more than to stay there.
“I don’t know. This feels more…Does it sound weird to say more grown up? I’m not in school anymore. I’m becoming who I am, and you,” I bit my lip, “are so together and driven and gorgeous and more than I ever thought I could ask for.”
Remi’s face finally relaxed. Her gaze drifted to my lips before meeting my eyes again. “That doesn’t sound weird at all. It sounds a lot like how I feel about you.”
I blinked. “Me?”
“You have a PhD, and a paper in a major journal that even I’ve heard of. You have your own place and don’t go glassy-eyed when I talk about the tests and results I go over with my students. It’s quite appealing to spend time with someone your equal.”
“Spend time? That’s all we’re doing? I thought…”
“That I would be helping with your sleep study.” Some of the shadow that had hung about Remi returned. “As appealing as that sounds, I worry my commitment to Neil would make that…difficult.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Weren’t we talking about how nice it is to be with someone who feels like an equal?”
“We were, and it’s so easy when I’m sitting here talking to you to picture something fantastic with you.”
“But there’s your brother,” I said.
“Always will be.”
“Yeah.”
Remi looked away, the first action that would take her away from me. I cupped Remi’s chin, bringing her back to me. I kissed her softly, asking for permission. Remi kissed me tentatively, and I closed my eyes, warmth spreading through my whole body. No one else’s mouth had ever done this to me. No one had ever fit so perfectly, meeting me with exactly the right pressure, leaning in to chase the tail end of the kiss with the same reluctance to pull away. Out of breath, I broke from the kiss, pressing my forehead to Remi’s. I breathed in her lilac sweetness. “Then it makes sense for me to meet him, doesn’t it?”
“It could make things worse,” Remi whispered.
“It can’t be worse forever. You haven’t gotten good results changing his schedule. So the next experiment is for me to go with you. I take good notes. I could make a spreadsheet. Graph something.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Remi said. She leaned forward to kiss me again.
I wove both hands into Remi’s thick, silky hair. A kiss like this made me forget feeling sidelined, made any time with Remi worth negotiating with Neil’s schedule. I put how sorry I was that Remi had so much to carry into the kiss. I added my admiration for her, and from Remi’s reaction, it seemed like she understood. My heart hammered like a fist on a door. I felt completely connected to Remi, our kiss a promise not to run from the complications of her life.
Remi pulled away. “I think someone’s at your door.”
“No,” I panted. “It’s my heart.” I placed Remi’s hand on my chest.
“Impressive,” Remi smiled. “But there is literally someone knocking at the door.”
“Tìa!” Rosa’s voice called.
I glanced at my watch. “What day is it?” I asked, wondering if I had somehow missed a dinner my mother expected me to attend.
“Friday.”
“Weird.” I stood on wobbly knees and stumbled to the door. I stared at Remi as the knocking continued.
“Don’t you think you should open it?”
“Not until I’m not panting!” I said, making Remi laugh. That stilled the knocking, so I opened the door.
Instead of entering, Rosa leaned her head in the door and located the source of the laughter. “Sorry!” she exclaimed and backed away.
“No, no. Come back here. What’s up?”
Rosa stopped at the sidewalk. “Homework. Mom was pulling her hair, and you said that I could ask you questions.”
I closed my eyes, remembering very well what I had said and feeling very frustrated that she needed help on a rare evening Remi had away from Neil. Even as well-adjusted as she was, like Neil, Rosa depended on the grownups in her life, including her aunt. “Yes, I said anytime. Come in.”
“But…”
“Come on. If I don’t understand, maybe Remi can help. You remember Remi?”
“Hi,” Rosa said shyly.
“Good to see you again. Congratulations on your second-place award. There was steep competition in that category, and you had a wonderful project.”
They both looked at me, ratcheting up my embarrassment. To redirect their thoughts away from my insomnia, I pointed to Rosa’s book. “What’s got you stumped?”
“Math.”
“Let’s take a look.” Over Rosa’s head, I mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
Remi dismissed my worry with the wave of her hand, and I followed Rosa to the small table between the living room and kitchen. Rosa set out her workbook and pointed to the problem. I read the question. It made no sense. Maybe because I could feel Remi staring at me. I read it again. “I think I remember how to solve this.”
Before I’d gotten very far at all, Rosa interrupted me. “No. That’s what my mom did. That’s not what my teacher taught us.” Rosa groaned.
“May I try?” Remi asked. She took the pencil and started drawing boxes that Rosa recognized immediately.
“Looks like I’m no help here. Dinner?”
“I’d love something if you’ve got enough,” Remi said, only briefly glancing up.
“Absolutely,” I said.
When Remi had returned her focus to the workbook, Rosa caught my eye and grinned like a fool. She pointed to Remi. Her jaw dropped open wide, and her eyebrows arched.
I gave a thumb’s-up and mouthed, “Right?”
While I sliced onion and green peppers, I listened to Remi explain the math concept in a way I’d never heard before. I was impressed, not only by Remi’s intellect but also her ability to make it understandable. I sliced some grilled chicken I had brought home from my mother’s leftovers and added it to the pan with the sautéed vegetables. I seasoned the pan and turned my attention to making guacamole with fresh tomato and cilantro.
Rosa kept glancing between me and Remi as she ran through a second problem. “I think I’ve got it,” she said when I turned off the burner.
“Are you sure?” Remi asked. “I don’t mind spotting you through the next one.”
�
�It’s okay. It was the setup I had trouble with. Now that you showed me how, I think I’ll be okay.”
“Did you eat, kiddo?” I asked as I dragged a flour tortilla over a lit burner.
“We already ate dinner,” she said, gathering her things. She sneaked another peek at Remi. “It was nice to see you again. I’m sorry to interrupt.”
“Don’t be. I was very happy to see you again.” Remi waved to her.
“Thank you again for your help.”
I followed Rosa to the door and gave her a big hug. “You need me to walk to the corner?”
Rosa’s withering expression was answer enough.
“Give Abuela a hug from me.” I squeezed her again.
Rosa waved over her shoulder and trotted down the sidewalk. I shut the door and returned to the stove, piling the fajita fixings on top. “Someone was pretty excited to see you here. In approximately three minutes, she will be telling my mother and sister.”
“Your family is wonderful,” Remi said.
I handed her a plate and the bowl of guacamole, reflecting on how she had not been as lucky in the family department.
“This smells delicious.”
“I am sorry for the interruption.” Thinking of all I had been trying to communicate with my kiss, I said, “I had more to say.”
“At least you have a good apology,” Remi said, holding up the food.
“This is just leftovers.”
“Still, on a work night? I’m impressed already.” She leaned in and kissed me long enough that I had to turn off the stove for fear of burning my tortilla. “Impressed again, I should say. Over and over.”
“Even though I didn’t get her math problem?”
“You remember the way you were taught. The only reason I knew was because I’m around the teachers complaining about the latest version of the curriculum. That you gave your time and that your niece can approach you like that, it says a lot. It makes it a little easier to imagine introducing you to Neil.”
We carried our food to the table. “Whenever you’re ready,” I said, glad my mother had so recently refreshed my memory on the importance of patience.
Chapter Fourteen
In my exercise leggings and top, I jogged down the stairs and was about to push through the doors when a familiar shape caught my eye.
“Maricela?”
The young woman lifted her head and guiltily swept her phone into her pocket.
“You’re here early,” I observed. Maricela had persevered to the end of her semester, and though her service-learning project had ended, she’d asked me if I would help her study for her biology final.
Maricela lifted her shoulder. “My mom’s appointment time changed.”
I pointed at the bag from the local fast-food joint on the table. “That was lunch?”
“Sure,” Maricela said. She lifted the soda and wrapped her red, red lips around the straw.
“Come on.” I sent a message to Valerie. I hated to miss our intense workout, but I would not be able to concentrate at all if I left Maricela sitting with her soda.
“What?”
“I said, come on. You’re with me today.”
Discomfort swept over Maricela’s face. “Exercise?”
I read Valerie’s reply and furrowed my brow. Even though I’d told her to go on without me, Valerie surprised me by replying that she’d find me. I texted that we’d be stretching outside my building. “You’ve got to pay for that.” I pointed to the cup in Maricela’s hand.
“I already did.”
I hung my head. “You bought it. Now you’ve got to burn it off before your body stores it away.”
Maricela remained seated.
“Get up. Go put your bag in the lab. I’m not leaving you here. I can’t even believe you brought this crap on campus. You do realize why your mother is here, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Maricela bristled.
I peeked inside Maricela’s bag. “Burger and fries?” I said flatly.
“Yeah.”
I wrinkled my nose. “You kill me, you know that?”
“You’re saying I’m fat? This is beautiful.” She gestured to her curves. “These are the hips of my culture, my heritage. I am beautiful.”
“You are very beautiful,” I agreed. “You don’t need to change your body, just what you put in it or else you’re diabetes waiting to happen.”
“I’m not diabetic.”
“Not yet. I’m not, either, but I bet your family tree looks a lot like mine. Diabetic grandmother, aunt, cousins. I don’t even have it in my immediate family, and I’m making choices to avoid it. Go put your stuff away. I’ll wait for you outside.” I pushed her through the door and searched for Valerie.
Maricela returned without her backpack. “It was just a lunch,” she pouted.
I was pleased that Maricela had followed my instructions, but I was still pissed by her attitude. It was all I could do to keep myself from exploding at the young woman. “Do you know what your mom is supposed to eat each day? Do you know how many calories she gets? And don’t you dare shrug as if you don’t.”
Maricela stared at me.
“Your lunch had more calories than she’s supposed to consume in a day. Is that what she’s eating? Because that will kill her.”
“No. I just got something for myself. She doesn’t eat like that anymore.”
“Maybe try to be supportive. Eat what she’s eating. It’s good to support her, and it certainly won’t hurt you.”
“Okay. I’ll try,” she said.
Better answer. I scanned for Valerie and still didn’t see her. Brows furrowed in concern, I tugged on Maricela’s sleeve. “Come on. We need to find my friend.”
We walked through campus past the creepy statue and found Valerie doubled over by a trash can, her hands on her knees. I rushed to her side. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Except for the fact that I hurled out my guts on the way over.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant,” I said without thinking.
She straightened and froze.
I opened my mouth, glanced at Maricela, and snapped it back shut. I looked back to Valerie. “You think…”
Valerie raised her fingers counting. When she had four extended, she said, “Isn’t it too early to know?”
“How would I know? Want me to Google it?”
“No. That’s it.” She shook her head slowly. “Oh, shit.”
Maricela stepped back as if Valerie was going to spew again, but I stepped forward to rub her back. “You think you’re pregnant?” I whispered, now that Maricela had put some distance between us. My stomach tightened with anticipation.
“I only missed my period yesterday. I haven’t even peed on a stick.”
Maricela took another step back, capturing Valerie’s attention. “G’day. Nice to see you again. I’m Valerie.”
Maricela introduced herself from a distance.
“Sorry to be gross. I think it’s passed. I wasn’t feeling top notch. It’s why I said I’d walk with you when you said you were taking it easier.”
“You up for walking the perimeter?” I asked.
“Let’s give it a go,” Valerie said. We set out, and Valerie called back to Maricela who stayed behind us.
“You’re not thinking of dropping out again, are you?”
“No.”
“Studying for a test?” Valerie asked. “You have some flashcards, Dr. Hernandez?”
“Funny, but no,” I answered. “She decided to walk off the shitload of carbs she just consumed.”
Valerie gave Maricela an obvious once-over.
“I already got the lecture.”
Valerie lifted her hands in surrender. “Half of it she probably stole from me. I hope she gave me credit.”
“What are you going to tell Emma?”
“Emma’s my wife,” Valerie tossed over her shoulder to Maricela. Her head snapped up like she’d been hit by a water balloon. To me, she said, “How should I know? First tr
y and all, I was sure it wouldn’t work. After how hard we tried with her, I’m going to look like an asshole if it worked the first time.”
“She’ll be thrilled,” I said.
“Unless she’s not. She wanted to be pregnant so badly.”
“And lucky her, she had a backup uterus.”
“That’s true.”
“She’s going to be a parent. Think of all the dads out there who can’t pinch hit if their wives can’t carry. Carrying the baby is just the first step, and she still gets to experience it with you. You guys are going to be fine. You’re the oven, and she’s the ladydad.”
Valerie laughed. “Ladydad. I love that. It sounds like katydid.”
“Have you two talked about what the little cricket is going to call you? Are you going to do the whole Mama V and Mama E thing?”
“I’ll be Mum, of course. I don’t know if she wants to be Mommy.”
“Or Ladydad.”
“No way is she going for Ladydad.”
“I like it. One of you should be Ladydad.”
“Save it for your own kids. You and Remi have been dating long enough to talk about kids, haven’t ya?”
I peered over my shoulder to find that Maricela, though breathing heavily, was keeping up with us. “We’ve only been on a few dates.”
“Right, so you should be living together by now. Stereotypes to uphold, mate!”
We reached a corner where we could either loop back around to my building or continue to circle the entire campus. “Tired? Straight or left?”
“Gayly forward!” With a finger thrust in the air, Valerie punctuated the expression she’d picked up from Emma.
“Gayly forward it is,” I consulted Maricela, “unless you’re tired?”
Breathing heavily, Maricela said, “Forward.”
Valerie met my eyes, and we shared the observation of the dropped adjective. She leaned over and whispered, “Are we all gay here?”
I turned to Maricela. “She hasn’t said anything out loud, but her mother was very upset when she thought we were a couple.”
That made Valerie laugh. “Oh, Emma will love that. You’re my work wife!”
Redirecting to Maricela she asked, “So are you?”
Cure for Insomnia Page 12
