Say I'm Yours

by Michaels, Corinne

  He has no right to stand here today and make demands. He’s the one who threw me away time and time again. He’s sweet to me one time and he thinks that it erases decades of suffering—as if I was the one at fault for wasting all those years?

  “If you want an answer today, then you won’t like it. You had twenty years to make this right. Twenty years to tell me everything you dumped on me in a single morning.” I throw my hands in the air. “It’s too much. It’s not fair. You can’t expect to say all the right things and then”—I snap my fingers—“I forgive you, just like that. I’m asking for space. I’m asking for a chance to get a grip on what I’m feeling.”

  Trent’s hands shake as he touches my cheek. “I love you! I fucking love you.”

  I close my eyes and try to find my lungs. It hurts to breathe. “I’ve waited so long to hear that.” I release a heavy sigh. “But that doesn’t mean you can use that as a way to make me stay. I need time, and if you can’t give that to me, then you don’t love me.”

  “So, you’re askin’ me to go?”

  “I guess I am.”

  I’m not asking him to leave. I’m asking him for time, but he doesn’t seem to hear that. I owe Cooper an explanation. I owe myself a chance to wrap my mind around everything. I have a pattern of falling back into the same situation when it comes to Trent. I don’t think I’m asking for too much.

  “You made your choice, Gracie. It’s clear that even after laying it all out there, you’re going to choose him.”

  “I’m choosing me!”

  Trent’s phone rings and he groans. “I have to go.”

  “I’ll call you in a few days.”

  He steps forward and grabs my face. “Don’t choose him. Just don’t choose him.”

  He crushes his lips to mine swift, hard, and desperate before turning and walking away, leaving me a dumbfounded mess.

  I know he’s angry, but so am I. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t intend to ever sleep with him again, yet I did. I can try to blame the alcohol and what not. I can form a million excuses as to why it happened, and all of them will be bullshit. I did it because I love him. I did it because I need him. I did it because I’m a fool.

  “Grace?” Cooper’s voice breaks the silence as I step back in the house.

  I turn to face him, unsure of exactly what I’m feeling. “I don’t know what to say, Coop. I feel awful, and I really don’t know why you’re still here. You should be yellin’ at me or tellin’ me how much you hate me. You should make this hard on me.”

  He shifts his weight and runs his hand down his face. “I don’t want to make this hard for you. I can see you’re already broken up about it.” Cooper starts to pace. “I’m not happy that he was here. I know you and Trent have history. But I like you, Grace.” He stops in front of me and takes my hands. “I like you, and I have for a while. I’d like us to go on a date, a real date, so I can show you there’s more than Trent. There’s more than what he’s given you all these years.”

  My mouth falls slightly agape. “Even after this?”

  It’s hard to believe he isn’t angry. Instead, Cooper is fighting for another chance. Why does this have to be so damn hard? It would be different if Cooper was like Trent, but he isn’t. He is everything I want in a man.

  Cooper wiggles my hands and grins. “I’ve waited a really long time. I’m asking for you to give me one night to show you that what you had with him, isn’t what you need.”

  Cooper is the kind of man you throw it all away for.

  “I don’t know.” I look around at everything but Cooper. “This is crazy. You’re perfect and I’m broken.”

  He pulls me on the couch and leans back. “You’re not broken. You’re confused, and I get that. I’m not trying to make things worse for you.”

  “Then why are you asking me out? Clearly, I’m not as strong as I thought I was.”

  If he knows I’m confused, then why try? It doesn’t make sense to me. He’s good-looking, owns his own business, and has everything a girl could want, but he keeps pushing for something with me. It seems nuts.

  Cooper smiles and grazes his thumb across the top of my hand. “Have you ever wanted something and couldn’t have it? And then it’s so close, just within your grasp but not quite there. Either you can surrender or keep reaching. I’m not a man who gives up.”

  “And when you grasp this, and it’s cracked or not as shiny as you thought it would be, then what?”

  My house phone rings, and I hear the machine answer. “Grace, it’s your mother. Listen, I need you to come over here and help your daddy out today. His hip is givin’ him trouble and he’s a stubborn mule who thinks he can work through the pain.” My mom lets out an annoyed huff. “If you can get here quickly that would be great. I tried you on your cell phone, but you didn’t answer. Call me back.”

  I look to Cooper and quickly explain. “I’m sorry, but I really do need to help them. My father doesn’t understand he shouldn’t be workin’ on the farm like this.”

  “I’m free for the day. Let me come help.”

  “What?” I ask with surprise.

  “I do know my way around a farm.” Cooper stands and puts his hand out. “I’m sure you could use some extra help. There’s never a short list of things to be done.”

  He’s right. I do what I can when I’m over, but there’s a lot that I can’t. My father taught me to ride horses, not woodwork. If he’s willing, it would be a lifesaver. “Are you sure?”

  “Hurry your cute butt up before I change my mind. We’ve got work to do.” Cooper grins, and I place my hand in his.

  “All right.”

  I stand and pull him in for a hug. It’s sweet that he’s willing to go over there with me, especially after the morning we’ve had. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve his friendship, but I’m so thankful.

  We ride over to my parents’ house and find my father in the barn. “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Gracie Lou!” Daddy calls out from the other side of the barn. “There’s my beautiful girl.”

  “Mr. Rooney.” Cooper steps forward and shakes his hand. “Good to see you, sir.”

  My dad chuckles, “Cooper Townsend, what brings you here to our home?”

  My father looks at me and then Cooper. Oh, Jesus. If my father has to pick a side in this, he will be team Trent. It isn’t that my dad doesn’t like Cooper, but he loves Trent. I mean loves Trent.

  They’ve gone fishing, hunting, shooting, and God knows what else together. I don’t know what it is that bonds them, but they’ve always gotten along. My father has never been quiet about wanting the two of us to be married and refers to Trent as the son he always wanted.

  I hope bringing Cooper here wasn’t a mistake.

  “Daddy, Cooper’s here to help out with some of the things you need done. We were talkin’ when Mama called, and he offered to come out here to get more accomplished than I can do on my own.”

  “Well,” he pats Cooper on the shoulder, “that’s awful kind of you helpin’ my little girl. I appreciate the assistance, son.”

  “Sure thing, Mr. Rooney. I’m happy to help.”

  Daddy gives a very long list of things that he’s trying to tackle, and I try to keep my composure. He prattles on about broken engines, a fence falling down, and the siding he needs to replace. There’s no way he could’ve gotten half of this done. Between the mess at the store and the disaster on the farm, I’m going to have to talk about this with them sooner rather than later. They can’t keep letting things get this bad without any help.

  “I’ll get started on some of the fence issues if you want to work with your dad,” Cooper offers.

  “You’re so sweet. Thank you. I’ll come find you in a bit.”

  Cooper heads off with tools and a plan while I try to supervise Daddy a little. He climbs the ladder and inspects one of the loose boards.

  “Hand me that hammer, would you?”

  “Sure thing.” I grab the tool, place it in hi
s hand, and observe him for a moment. The last few years have aged him. His once jet-black hair is now mostly gray, his gait is a little slower, and he looks tired. Not that I can blame him. Running a farm is hard work. It’s long days, unforgiving weather, and a lot of headaches. We’ve sold off acres of land over time, which allowed Daddy to scale back, but I know he wishes he had a son to pass it on to.

  “So, now you and the Townsend boy are dating?” Daddy says as he bangs the nail.

  I knew this was coming. “We’re friends, Daddy.”

  “That’s not what I hear.”

  My mother and her big mouth. My father lives in a world of working on the farm and watching golf. He has no time for gossip. If this is what he’s hearing, then there’s only one source.

  “I think you heard wrong.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with my hearing darlin’. As much as I wish that had gone first,” he mumbles, “then maybe your mama wouldn’t nag me so much.”

  I giggle. “I think she’d find a way.”

  “Probably right. That woman would hire one of those planes that writes messages in the sky if it meant me doin’ what she wanted.”

  It’s cute how happily they irritate each other. “You know you’d be lost without her.”

  He grunts. “Don’t ever tell her that.”

  “It’ll be our secret.”

  My dad continues to fix the board, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “Cooper, huh?” he asks as he climbs off the ladder.

  I guess I’m not out of the woods.

  “It’s not like that. I don’t know if we’ll be more, but he’s a good man. He came out here to help you on his day off.”

  “Uh-huh. So, you gonna fix things with Trent?”

  He walks over to the tool bench and sits. This can’t be good. He’s hunkering down for a real conversation.

  “He doesn’t love me. How do you fix something like that?”

  He jerks his head. “You know, it’s not always easy, but you have to fight, baby girl.”

  “It’s not that simple. I can’t force him to become an adult.”

  My father took it the hardest when Scarlett died. He felt like he failed his little girl, and he became extra protective of me. I think he also likes that Trent is a protector. Daddy respects the law and knows that Trent upholds it, not breaks it.

  My father leans forward and touches my cheek. “I reckon you can’t. You’re a smart girl, and you’ll know who’s right for you.”

  Therein lies the issue, I don’t know what’s right. My heart and my head don’t ever agree when it comes to men.

  I smile and touch his hand. “I get my smarts from you.”

  He winks. “I know it. You get your fight from your mama. That woman can argue herself in or out of anything. Enough talkin’, let’s get back to work.”

  “I’m going to check on Cooper and help him with mending the fence. You all right in here?”

  Daddy scoffs and waves his hand. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m as strong as an ox.”

  He’s a mess.

  I start to walk out toward the field where Cooper is working—with his shirt off—and let out a heavy sigh. Why can’t the man keep a shirt on? I think about how he didn’t hesitate to come out here. He actually offered to spend the day working on our farm. Not many men would spend their day off doing hard labor, let alone have it be their idea.

  My father was right. I do know who is the right man. I don’t know if I can let go of the other one. My mind drifts to last night and this morning. How I felt being in Trent’s arms. How he said things I’ve been longing to hear.

  I take my phone out of my pocket and send a text to Trent.

  Me: I know you’re with your family, but we should talk about what happened today.

  They do this trip every year, and one of the rules is no phones unless it’s an emergency. This doesn’t qualify as one.

  “Hey!” Cooper calls out when he sees me.

  I wave and start moving in his direction. “Hey, how’s it goin’?” I ask as he wipes sweat from his brow.

  “Good. I’m about done here. I wanted to help your dad on gettin’ his tractor workin’. I think it might cut down on some of the other things he’s let slide. If we have some time, maybe we can get the horses some exercise?”

  “You really don’t have to do that.”

  Cooper tosses his shirt over his shoulder and laughs. “It’s either that or we’re workin’ here a few days a week.”

  That is the last thing I want to be doing. I’m sure I can rope Wyatt and Zach into helping out once in a while. They both owe me for saving their sorry butts a time or two.

  “That won’t be happening. I think Daddy and I are going to have a come to Jesus moment about needing to hire someone.”

  Cooper grabs the bottle of water and chugs it. I watch in rapt fascination at how his throat moves as he swallows. The way his skin is bronzed from being out here for an hour. I try not to think about how good his body looks, but I fail.

  He’s the total package.

  He finishes his drink and hands me what’s left. “Here, you don’t want to get dehydrated. It’s hot as hell today.”

  “Yes. Yes it is,” I mutter and take a drink. I shake my head, trying to rattle the thoughts of Cooper from my mind and clear my throat. “So, can I help you with the fence?”

  “Sure.” Cooper lifts his chin and hands me the hammer. “I’ll pull the line tight if you can secure it.”

  “No problem.”

  We work alongside each other, poking fun at my inability to be able to hit the nail, and then at almost hitting Cooper’s hand. Sweat drips from my forehead as we move to the few poles that are left. I had forgotten how much I disliked hard labor.

  After ten more minutes, we’re done with mending the fence. There’s a lot more that needs to be done so we go to the next task, my most hated chore ever, hay bales.

  “I think we should leave this for another day,” I suggest.

  “You would rather haul them on your own?”

  “I would rather they catch on fire.”

  He lifts an eyebrow. “What is with girls and hay bales?”

  “What does that mean?” I ask with my arms across my chest.

  His hands raise in surrender. “I’m just sayin’ all you girls complain when it’s time to move them.”

  I’ll be more than happy to explain why.

  “Because they’re heavy, the hay gets all in your hair no matter how careful you are, your back aches for days after, and it freaking itches.”

  “Would you rather chop wood? Fish? Hunt? Or clean the stalls?” he questions with a grin.

  “I would rather sleep.”

  Cooper bursts out laughing and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. “You’re a mess.”

  “And you’re gross and sweaty.”

  He crouches low, grips my legs, tosses me over his shoulder, and starts running.

  “Cooper!” I squeal. “Put me down!” He doesn’t though. He keeps moving as if I’m not speaking until we reach the creek. He better not. “Do not do it!” I say as I hear the water.

  “Do what?” His voice is full of innocence.

  I hang upside down as the creek comes into view. I start flailing around, slapping him on his butt, hoping to deter him from what I know is coming.

  Cold. Ass. Water.

  Sure enough, Cooper kicks his boots off and throws mine over on the side of the creek as well. Then he starts stomping in the water causing it to splash all around us.

  “Dammit!” I yell as the freezing water pelts my skin while he spins.

  He puts me right side up and the water rushes around my legs.

  Well, I don’t think so. I squat low and start to paddle water at him like crazy. I’m not going to be the only one who gets soaked. “Take that!” I holler as I get him good.

  “Oh yeah?” he taunts and then jumps in front of me, causing water to hit all the way up to my belly.


  “You’re a dead man!” I giggle and charge forward.

  Cooper doesn’t relent as he continues to go back at me. After a few minutes, that end with both of us being drenched and cooled off, we’re standing with big smiles on our faces. He moves closer and my teeth chatter.

  “You cold?”

  I nod. “Y-Yes. I’m-m f-freezing.”

  Cooper helps me out onto the grass and wraps his arms around me. I lean into his big body and let him warm me. I nestle my head under his chin and he rubs his hands against my arms, creating friction.

  It’s still ridiculously hot, so it doesn’t take long for my body temperature to rise back to normal. But I hold on for a little longer. Being in Cooper’s arms is different. It isn’t familiar, but it’s comfortable. Cooper would never let anything or anyone hurt me. I don’t worry if he’s going to break my heart. I can relax and close my eyes because he’ll protect me.

  “Why don’t we get out of here and check on your pop, see if he needs a hand?” Cooper says without moving his arms from around me.

  I lean back and tuck my wet hair behind my ear. “Sure. I bet he’s looking for us anyway.”

  We head toward the barn to get the other tools we might need. My father is standing by his workbench, tinkering with something.

  I can’t recall how many times I would sit on the stool next to him and watch him work. He was always this big, strong, and tough man. I thought there was no one who could ever hurt me. As long as my daddy was around, I was safe. He set the bar pretty high.

  He turns around, and his eyes grow warm. “Hi, baby girl. You guys all done?”

  Cooper clears his throat and walks toward him. “I’ve got a few more things on your list I’d like to get done, Mr. Rooney.”

  My father smiles appreciatively. “You’re a good man. Comin’ over and workin’ on a day like today. This is a good man here, Grace.”

  I look at Cooper and grin. “Yeah, he is.”

  He drops the thing he was tinkering with and leans back. “I need to take a load off. My hip is givin’ me a hell of a time. If you need me, I’ll be in my chair. Thanks for all your help today, son.”

  Cooper clasps his shoulder. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  Daddy walks over and kisses my forehead. “Be good, darlin’.”