Say I'm Yours

by Michaels, Corinne

  Me: Thanks.

  If I thought I was confused before, it’s nothing like now. I vary from hurt to anger. He’s taking time off? He called Hank but not any of his family who are all worried sick? I can’t believe he would be so heartless. Not after all his promises not to pull away from me again and all the talk about wanting to marry me. He has roots here. He wouldn’t rip them out when he needs them most.

  I drop my head and let out a loud cry of frustration. “Just talk to me, I would be here for you,” I mutter as my heart aches.

  “Grace?” I lift my head and wipe my tears away, not wanting to face him but knowing I have no choice.

  “Cooper, hi.”

  “Is he? Is everything—with Rhett?”

  I stand and shake my head. “Oh, he’s fine. I mean, not fine, but he’s okay. He’s stable.”

  “Then why are you out here crying?” Cooper asks.

  I’m not sure what to say. My heart is broken on one end and I’m angry at myself on the other. I knew this would happen. I would go back to Trent, and he’d do the same shit like he always does. Now, Cooper stands in front of me, and I remember how dumb I am. I fooled myself into thinking this time would be different.

  “Hey,” he says, and his freaking kindness is the last straw. It breaks me, and I double over, wracked with sobs. He drops to his knees in front of me and wraps his strong arms around my shoulders, holding me while I fall apart. “It’s okay, Grace.”

  “No. It’s not.”

  “Did something happen? Are you okay?” he asks like the good man he is.

  Cooper wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t run out without a word.

  I shake my head back and forth as the tears soak his shirt. “Trent left.”

  “Left?”

  “He’s gone.” I pull back and try to collect myself. “He was here, then he disappeared, took time off work, but no one knows why. I don’t know . . .”

  Cooper looks at me as if I’m crazy. “Seriously? I heard you guys have been great and moved in together.”

  This is what has me thinking there has to be more to this. “I didn’t want to leave in case he came here . . . but I got a text from Hank, and all I know is he’s not sure when Trent will be back.”

  I start to wonder if I should have stayed home. What if he packed his shit while I was here?

  Cooper sits beside me and rests his elbows on his knees. “You and I both know that Trent doesn’t handle personal shit well. He’s not good at reactin’ to things when it comes to anything serious. You knew this when you chose to go back to him.”

  That doesn’t excuse his behavior.

  “I can’t keep doing this.” Cooper doesn’t say anything, and I instantly feel like shit. “God,” I sigh. “I’m such a bitch. I’m sittin’ here tellin’ you about this. I’m so sorry. I’m such a stupid girl.”

  Cooper laughs and then takes my hand. “We’re friends. And we are much better friends now that we both know that’s all it’s going to be.” He nudges me. “But as your friend, I’m going to say something you’re not going to like.”

  “Coop.”

  “No, Grace, I think you need to hear it. You know this is what he does when he’s scared. He runs because emotion scares the fuck out of him. Something must’ve spooked him, and he cut tail. I don’t agree with it, but that’s who he is. For better or worse, this is how he deals with life. So, now you’ve got a choice.”

  “Me?”

  He nods. “Yeah, Grace. You chose him. You love him, but you have to love all of him. You have to accept him for who is, and that means knowin’ when he gets like this . . . he’s going to shut down. But you’re the only one who can reach him. I think you know that, which is what’s eatin’ you up inside.”

  I suck in a deep breath. “No, I’m hurt. I’m angry that he hasn’t called me back or anything. I left him close to a hundred messages.”

  “Yeah, you’re angry. Yeah, it sucks and it’s wrong, but he’s your guy. We’re dumb. We screw up like it’s our job. So, you can sit here waitin’ for him to come back when we both know that ain’t happenin’, or you can go find him.”

  I lean back in the seat and let what Cooper says penetrate. Trent has told me time and time again he needs me to not let him fail. He’s asked me to step in and help. I just don’t know how.

  “He needs you, Grace. If you love him, then do what he needs you to do.”

  “I don’t even know where he is,” I say frustrated.

  “I can’t believe I’m helpin’ his dumb ass,” Cooper complains. “Think about where you’d go to get away from life.”

  Where would he go? My mind reels with the possibilities. I’ve already checked most, but . . . maybe I just missed him. Cooper is right, though, I need to find a place he’d go to escape.

  “Thank you, Coop.”

  I give him a hug and make my way out the door.

  “I saw you guys a week ago,” Cooper calls out.

  I stop and turn around. “You did?”

  I haven’t seen Cooper since the night I almost set my house on fire. I thought about dropping by, but I wasn’t sure what to say or how he’d feel about it. Presley told me he’s fine and to stop being an idiot, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

  “You looked happy.” Just a day ago, I was extremely happy. “He makes you smile, Grace. You don’t see other people when you’re with him. I see that now. Go get him before he regrets this more than he already will,” he moves close to me.

  “You’re a good friend, to me and to him.”

  He chuckles. “Until I tried to steal his girl.”

  I smile and touch his arm. “I’ll remind him of this moment.”

  “Go.”

  I turn and rush out of the hospital. I need to do what I promised to do and pull him back. He isn’t drifting, he’s floating away. I hope I’m strong enough to carry him back to shore.

  Chapter 19

  T here are only so many places he can go without his truck. I check the lake where his father collapsed, his farm again, and my family’s store. I didn’t think he’d be at the last one, but I’m trying not to leave any stone unturned.

  I sit in my car and drum my thumbs against the steering wheel, talking to myself. “Where would you go?”

  A smile forms across my face as it hits me, and I berate myself for not thinking of it sooner. I throw the car in reverse and head off to get my horse.

  He better have the excuse of a lifetime when I find him. He can run, and turn off his phone, and try to shut the world out, but there’s no way I’m going to quit on him.

  Not this time.

  I get to my parents’ house and head to the barn.

  When I get inside, I’m so focused on what I need to do to get to my and Trent’s spot, that I almost miss the amber light shining from the stable where my old horse used to sleep. I never could let Lightning in there. It felt wrong.

  I open the door, confused about who was in here and why they left a light on, but then I see his body on the ground. Anger boils over as I realize he’s been here the whole time. Hiding at my parents’ house instead of coming home.

  “Trent?” I ask as he gets to his feet.

  The disappointment I was feeling fades away the second his eyes find mine. This isn’t Trent. This isn’t an angry man who ran away because he was afraid of losing his father.

  This man is shattered.

  His eyes are red rimmed from crying, he reeks of alcohol, and he’s destroyed. I can see the pain and hurt splayed across his face.

  “Trent,” I say softly as I step closer. “What are you doin’ here?”

  My need to comfort him is instant.

  “How? How the hell did you find me? Just go home.”

  “This is my home. Why are you here?”

  He steps back and grips the side of his head. “Fuck! This is why I didn’t want to be found.”

  “Do you know how worried I’ve been? How sick your mama is over this?”

  The skin aroun
d his eyes tightens. He goes from broken to irate in a second. “Good.”

  “Good?” I ask incredulously. “Good? How is this good? Your daddy is sick, and he’s havin’ a hard time with the transfusion and you’re hidin’ at my barn?”

  “I can’t . . .” He looks away.

  “Why are you here? Why did you leave?”

  When his gaze meets mine, the pain is so clear I can feel it. It billows off him in waves.

  “Because I was far enough away from you that you wouldn’t push me, but close enough I could feel you.”

  My chest tightens and tears fill my eyes. He’s always pulled away, but this time he tried not to. However, something has him on the verge.

  What I have to do is rein him in. He’s going to push me hard. I know this. “Why did you leave?”

  He drops his eyes before turning away from me, but I don’t back off. “Let me in, Trent. I’m not going to let you drift away, not now, not ever. I love you. Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Please.” My words are soft as I step toward him and touch my fingertips against his back.

  He shakes his head but doesn’t pull away from me. “I’m too fucking tired to fight you, but I’m not doin’ this.”

  I watch him head to the other side of the stable. My lips part as I take in everything scattered around the floor—the lantern, beer cans, the shirt he was wearing yesterday. What stops my eyes are the pillows and blankets that are in the same spot he held me the night my horse died.

  “Trent, tell me what’s going on.”

  “Not a damn thing,” he spits out.

  It seems this is going to be harder than I thought. “Honey, what are you doin’ here?”

  He grabs another beer and cracks it open. “Where should I be?”

  I walk toward him and rip the can from his hand. “With your father! Remember? The man who is in the hospital, sick, and needs his family. The man you were so worried about not even twenty-four hours ago!”

  “Oh, you mean the guy who is not my fucking father!” he screams in my face and takes his drink back.

  He’s drunk and ridiculous. “Are you insane?” I slap his chest with both hands, shoving him back. “Your father is dyin’, Trent, and you’re out here, in my barn, gettin’ drunk!”

  “He’s not my fucking father!” Trent screams again, and his eyes fill with tears. “He’s a liar and so is my mother!”

  “What?”

  “Jesus Christ! Are you deaf?” Trent’s eyes flame and then his head falls. “Leave, Grace! Let me be alone. You don’t get it. No one gets it, and I’m not going to explain it.”

  My heart races as I watch this man fall apart. I don’t leave, but I do have to hold my own emotions at bay because I have never seen him this distraught. “You’re not makin’ any sense.”

  He turns his back on me. “I don’t know how to be any clearer. I’m fucking done. I’m done with everyone in this fucking town and all their lies. I’m leaving as soon as I’m sober enough to get the fuck out of here.”

  “So, you’re done with me?” I ask. Trent spins back around but doesn’t say a word. We stand here, neither of us blinking, and a tear leaks from my eye. “Is that what you’re saying? You’re done with everyone in this town, which includes me? Huh? Have I lied to you? I don’t even know what happened!”

  “I don’t know, Grace, have you lied? Did you know that I’m a bastard? Did you keep the secret just like everyone else?”

  “The secret that you’re not Rhett’s? Do you hear yourself?”

  A tear falls down his face and his body sinks to the ground. “Go the fuck home, Grace.”

  “No.” He’s going to have to drag me out and drive me if he wants me gone.

  I try to think about what could’ve caused this. He was upset, but not like this before going back to talk to Rhett. It has to be because of something when he was there.

  “What happened in the hospital?”

  “I can’t deal with this!”

  “What happened in the hospital?” I repeat. “Why do you think he’s not your dad?”

  “I don’t think . . . I fucking know!”

  I’ve known his family my entire life, and this is crazy talk. Whatever he thinks he knows . . . he’s wrong. Rhett needs him, and he’s being crazy.

  “How?”

  “God! It’s like no one listens.”

  “I’ll listen when you explain yourself!”

  “I overheard my mother talkin’ to the doctor and my father. He said somethin’ about the blood test and that I wasn’t a match.”

  “Okay.” I sit beside him and gather one of his big hands in both of mine. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not his son.”

  Trent shakes his head and another tear drops. He clearly believes this crazy talk. “I heard them say it. I heard my mother say I wasn’t his son and that they weren’t going to tell me. It’s not a fucking lie or me bein’ stupid. I heard her say that I wasn’t his son. I heard with my own ears them say I wasn’t supposed to find out. Well, too fucking late! I found out, so yeah, I’m right where I belong. Alone.”

  My mouth opens a little as he crumbles. “You don’t mean that.”

  He releases a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, but I do. Don’t you see it now? It all makes sense. I’ve never been a Hennington. I don’t look like my brothers. I have blond hair and they have brown. I’m the only one with blue eyes. I hate fishin’. I hated the horse farm. It’s crystal clear, and I don’t know why I never saw it before . . . I’m not his son!”

  “Honey, listen to me.” I shift and his eyes lock on mine. “There’s a mistake somewhere.”

  Trent leans over, grabs a stack of papers, and shoves them in my face. “Tell me, Grace. Tell me how this is a goddamn mistake! Look at the papers! I’m B positive. My blood type is B positive. My father is A positive and so is my mother. There’s no fucking way I could be his kid.”

  “But . . .” I look at the papers that prove Trent’s blood type is different from the rest of his family’s. “I don’t know what to say.”

  He looks at the ceiling and wipes his face. “I don’t know who I am! I’ve always been a Hennington. Now, who the fuck am I? I don’t know who my father is. And my mother! She kept this from me. She lied to me for forty years. Both of them did.”

  “Listen to me.” I get to my knees and hold his face in my hands. “You know who you are. And some blood test doesn’t tell you who your father is. A life does. A family does.”

  “Don’t give me that shit. They’ve lied to me! My whole life. His name is on my fucking birth certificate. If he’s not my father, who is? Why lie? Why not tell me at some point?” Trent goes on, clearly upset. “They never planned to tell me. They got unlucky, and that’s how I found out. Everything, Grace . . . I don’t even know who I am.”

  Hearing the words from his lips, destroys me. I don’t blame him for being so distraught. If I found out my father wasn’t my actual dad, I would be the same way. He loves Rhett, and I’m sure he feels as if this is a huge betrayal. And it is. I honestly can’t believe that his parents would lie to him. Family is everything to them. That being the case, it doesn’t change who he is. His parentage doesn’t affect the man Trent has become.

  “I know this is impossible. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re feeling.” I drop my hands.

  “You have no idea. You have no fucking clue what I feel. I need you to go. I need to be alone. I don’t want to listen to your reasons or any of that shit. I’m not going back to that hospital.”

  I try to recall what Cooper said about how Trent was going to push. When he feels scared, he lashes out at those around him. He’s going to push me away because that’s what he does. He’s hurting, though. Like my mama always says, anger is the outward cry of fear.

  “Well, I’m not leavin’.”

  Trent yanks his hands back. “Then I’ll leave.”

  I shrug my shoulder. “Fine. I’ll follow you.”

  “Grace—”

  “No, you’re upset. I get it
. But you’re not going to walk away from this. Not from me. If you want to be angry, then I’ll sit here and let you be angry. If you want to scream and rant, I’ll listen. I’ll help you in any way I can, but I’m not leavin’ you. We fight together, because I love you.”

  Trent shifts forward, his hands are on my face and he crushes his lips to mine. He kisses me as if I’m the only thing in the world. It’s hard and brutal. I hold on to his arms as he moves me closer. It’s like he’s inhaling me, and I take it all. Trent pushes me onto my back.

  His body covers me as he devours my mouth. Our tongues dance and passion fills the air around us. Trent’s hands drift down my side and behind my thigh so he can hook my leg around him. His tongue glides from my neck and then across my shoulder. I close my eyes and arch my back when he heads toward my ear.

  “Make me forget,” he pleads. “Make me forget like only you can. I don’t know who I am, and I need you to remind me.”

  His hands drift lower and grip my ass. He kisses me harder than the last one, but I don’t care. If he needs me, I’ll be here.

  I touch his face, breaking the kiss, and bring his eyes to mine. “I love you. I love who you are,” I say ardently as I kiss his nose. “I love everything about you.” I bring my lips to his eyelids and touch each one. “I know who you are.” I kiss his mouth before looking him straight in the eyes. “You’re mine and I’m yours. Nothing changes that.”

  His blue eyes fill with pain. “I can’t—”

  I bring his lips back to mine and try to make him forget. I kiss him as if he’s everything. I kiss him with every fiber in my being. He’s the same man he’s always been, and I’ll show him that. He’s lost, and I want to help him find his way. If this is all I can do, I’ll be the balm to his pain.

  I’ll save him by loving him.

  “I’m lost,” he admits before his lips touch mine again.

  His hands are everywhere, and I let him lead. His touch is rough but never painful. I moan when he removes my pants hastily, tossing them across the stable, and then promptly finding his way to my clit. He kisses my neck and ear as he continues to rub in tiny circles. I buck when he inserts a finger, curling it to hit the spot that drives me crazy.