Elf Mastery

by Bryant Reil

  Elf Mastery

  Copyright © 2016 Bryant Reil

  All rights reserved.

  For information,

  address the publisher at:

  kylanim2016@gmail.com

  Cover art by Angela Kubera (TheAvies)

  Cover Design by Jessica Dennis

  Special thanks to Natalie

  and everyone who contributed

  their time and patience.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One - The Golden Gate

  Chapter Two - Haven Hall

  Chapter Three - Try, Try Again

  Chapter Four - Journey to the Center of the Earth

  Chapter Five - Extrospection

  Chapter Six - An Unexpected Journey

  Chapter Seven - Denzig

  Chapter Eight - Kyla's Talent

  Chapter Nine - Sulafat Station

  Chapter Ten - Aspen's Fury

  Chapter Eleven - The Fall Ball

  Chapter Twelve - Whitehall

  Chapter Thirteen - We Make the World Go Round

  Chapter Fourteen - Power Struggles

  Chapter Fifteen - Halloween Party

  Chapter Sixteen - Fear and Loathing

  Chapter Seventeen - Lost and Found

  Chapter Eighteen - Meanwhile...

  Chapter Nineteen - Trial of Error

  Chapter Twenty - The Shadow's Face

  Chapter Twenty-One - Aspengrove

  Chapter Twenty-Two - The Weakest Linkin

  Chapter Twenty-Three - No Rest for the Weary

  Chapter Twenty-Four - Bad Decisions

  Chapter Twenty-Five - Arkwood

  Chapter Twenty-Six - The Plan

  Chapter Twenty-Seven - The Caravan

  Chapter Twenty-Eight - Porcum Ex Machina

  Chapter Twenty-Nine - Warm Soft

  Chapter ThirtyKick - the Goblin

  Chapter Thirty-One - Erebus' Assault

  Chapter Thirty-Two - The Eye of the Storm

  Chapter Thirty-Three - Plan in Action

  Chapter Thirty-Four - Hot Stuff

  Chapter Thirty-Five - Destinations

  Chapter Thirty-Six - Separation Anxieties

  Chapter Thirty-Seven - Whitehall Revisited

  Chapter Thirty-Eight - A Jar of Jam

  Chapter Thirty-Nine - Aftermath

  Chapter One

  The Golden Gate

  Goblins are happiest when they're miserable.

  Grizzlesnout's suit was drenched and the horses' hooves flung flecks of mud onto his white shirt. The stagecoach rattled over the pothole-riddled road and the driver's seat chafed his sore buttocks. The sun, now free from the veil of rain clouds, warmed the humid air as horseflies came in search of flesh. Horseflies and humidity made him miserable. He smiled. It was a good day.

  Goblins are happiest when they're miserable, but they have a threshold. Grizzlesnout's threshold was his current passenger, a young elf woman headed for Equinox. She had spent the entire trip talking to other passengers, which was annoying but at least she wasn't talking to him. Fate was not on his side, however. To his surprise, as well as chagrin, the last of the others had gotten off earlier that morning in Elk's Crossway. It was unusual he didn't have more riders to Equinox. The elf girl had fallen asleep during the rain, which bought a brief respite, but now he could hear her moving inside the coach. He worried she might decide to join him in the driver's seat. Perhaps, if he were still and silent, she wouldn't pay him any mind.

  His heart thumped as he heard the clack of the window latch. He kept his head down and eyes forward. Maybe she just wanted to enjoy the view. The thought of enduring her spirited chatter made him miserable.

  Goblins are happiest when they're miserable, but too much misery can make even a goblin sick, as sure as eating too much chocolate cake. Grizzlesnout wasn't usually religious but now pleaded to any deity that might listen that she not decide to involve him in her banal life.

  Sure enough she couldn’t let him be. She crawled out of the coach and sat next to him. She was short, for an elf, yet still sat a few inches higher than himself. Her brown hair was cut short, which was unusual for her kind. It was now matted and stuck out like spines on a hedgehog. He tried to think of a believable reason to send her back inside, but though his mind was usually sharp and quick, everyone has an off day. He sighed.

  “Hi! I’m Kyla.” She yawned and stretched her arms. “I'm the only one left. I can't believe everyone else got off already! At least I get a chance to talk to you now, huh?”

  “How fortunate.” It was hard to sound sincere through gritted teeth but Grizzlesnout tried his best. He was, after all, a professional.

  “So what's your name? I don't remember if you told me when I got on.”

  He hadn't. The old goblin hated introducing himself to elves. They found his name humorous. He tried to ignore her but she wouldn’t stop looking at him. He suspected she would stare at him until he either told her or died. He prayed for the latter, and that it would come quickly.

  “Grizzlesnout,” he finally confessed. Sure enough, she laughed. He had thought of changing his name for this reason, but no respectable goblin name would fare better in the small minds of elves.

  “Goblins have funny names! Don’t worry. My brother’s name is Bitternut. We just call him Bit, though. I got lucky with my name. Are we almost there?”

  He tensed. The girl wouldn't shut up, and there didn't seem to be much he could do about it. “About an hour. Why don’t you get your bags together so you’ll be ready when we arrive?”

  She grinned. “I’m already ready. You’re just trying to get rid of me!”

  So she wasn’t clueless. Merely inconsiderate. This warmed him up to her a little. But not much.

  “Did you go to Equinox?” she asked.

  “Once a week for the last fifty years.” He sighed. This was not how he had imagined his life when he was her age.

  “Oh! Yeah. I mean as a student.”

  “Don’t need to go to college to do this job.”

  “Oh! Do you think I could do this job?”

  “Do you know much about driving horses?”

  She looked the two horses over and pulled a carrot out of her lunch bag. Grizzlesnout hoped eating would keep her quiet. Unfortunately, she continued with her mouth full. “This is the first time I’ve seen a horse. Do you ever ride on them, or do you always sit behind? I've seen bears. They're big enough to ride but I doubt they'd let you. I imagine you'd only get one try. Do you ever use bears to pull the coach?”

  He didn’t catch that last question, as he was fantasizing about having a heart attack, but gathered the gist was no, she didn't know a thing about driving horses. “You need to know about horses to drive horses. Maybe, in your case, you would need a degree.”

  “You can get a degree in horses?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know, but there is one more important thing you need to do my job.”

  “Oh?” She crunched on another carrot.

  He slumped in his seat and stared ahead. “Patience.”

  ***

  By the time the gates of Equinox came to view, Grizzlesnout knew more about Kyla than he knew about his own wife. He knew her father was a shoemaker, as she had shoved a home-made sandal in his face to show off the stitching. He knew she collected rocks, and had brought a bag of rather unremarkable ones, each of which was accompanied by a tedious story. He knew her favorite foods, favorite holiday, and family history. He might as well have grown up in her village of Aspengrove, as she had described all her neighbors in distressing detail. The one thing she never told him was why in Heaven and Earth she felt the need to share it.

  He sighed in relief as he reined the horses to a stop in front of the Equinox Gate. It was borne by large golden statues
of King Oberon and Queen Titania. Their outstretched arms, joined at the hands, served to support the gates which were now open over the walkway. The walkway was made up of flagstones carved with the names and crests of past Directors and important officials who had attended the school. The oddity was that Equinox did not have a wall so the gate seemed unnecessary. Grizzlesnout supposed there was some metaphorical meaning or other such nonsense.

  As soon as the coach stopped Kyla cheered, slid through the window of the stagecoach and opened the door from the inside. He watched as she struggled with her belongings. It was part of his job to help her, but she had gone and packed her bags full of rocks and he was inclined to let her deal with her own foolishness. Also, watching her grunt and strain was amusing.

  She finally got her luggage out of the coach and started dragging them along the grass. Grizzlesnout coughed and extended his hand. She looked at him a moment, confused, before the light turned on in her eyes.

  “Oh! Right!” She let go of her bags and fished through her pockets as she walked up to the carriage. She plopped a bundle of leaves and mushrooms into his hand. Grizzlesnout sighed. Sage, peppermint, and a mix of other herbs the elves found useful. Only the mushrooms had any value. Elves were adept at finding morels, which usually fetched a good price. He stuffed them into his purse. Few exchanges dealt in elf currency so he usually sold it at the market. It was well out of his way, and a miserable ordeal which he rather enjoyed. He tipped his hat and managed a weak smile before reining his horses back into action. He pulled away from the gates sitting taller, and a smile broke across his face as a horsefly found purchase on his cheek.

  ***

  Kyla had been to Equinox once before, when she came with her father to explore the campus. The buildings jutted from the ground like great square hills on the landscape. She preferred the elegant way the homes back in Aspengrove blended into the trees, but knew enough about the world to understand this blocky architecture was common. She had to admit the carved facades had a certain appeal, and a few of the structures had vines crawling up the walls. It wasn't natural, but it was different, which was a good part of the excitement.

  The Golden Gate loomed ahead in its glittering majesty. She started for the walkway before noticing a large puddle had flooded the path. She eyed the clean grass beside the gate and chose a route around the statue of King Oberon.

  It took several minutes, but she dragged her heavy bags onto the campus grounds. She let go and looked around to get her bearings. The first thing she saw was a stern-looking man, who looked much like an elf but for his horns and blue skin. He grimaced and marched toward her.

  “You! Girl! Are you Daft?” he shouted.

  “No, I'm Kyla!”

  “I mean are you stupid? I know this is your first day, but that’s a gate. Gates are to be passed through, not around. Take your bags and march them through the gate!”

  Kyla took a small step back. “I’m sorry-do you work here?”

  The man’s lip trembled. “I am the Chief Groundskeeper. You do a dishonor to the King and Queen by bypassing their gate. It is meant to be gone through, not around! Now go through!”

  The elves of Aspengrove had few dealings with royalty and aristocracy, and that such a simple act would dishonor the King and Queen seemed peculiar. Still, she was not keen on picking a fight with the Chief Groundskeeper. She turned around to head back in through the gate.

  The man coughed. “Your bags!”

  Her excitement deflating, Kyla grabbed her bags and started dragging them along the grass. She had expected to be welcomed. Now she was getting yelled at and her luggage was soaked from the damp ground.

  “Oh, no,” Kyla muttered. Her stomach wanted to drop into her shoes. Her bag of rocks was carving up the grass. She looked up at the Groundskeeper, expecting a reprimand, but he simply glared at her to keep moving. He stood and waited, with no offer of help, as she dragged her bags back to the road, through the mud, onto the flagstone walkway, and up through the Golden Gate. Finally, he nodded. “There. Now you see the importance of the gates.”

  She didn’t. But he left, and she felt the importance of that.

  The array of creatures in the campus square and their unfamiliar clothing and manners made her feel like she was inside a storybook. She had grown up knowing only elves. She had caught glimpses of some of the local dryads, but they always ducked into their trees when anyone approached. Until a moment ago her goblin driver was the most exotic person with whom she had ever spoken. Now she saw centaurs, harpies, fairies, and a host of others creatures she had never seen except in pictures, including many she didn't recognize. It was exciting, yet overwhelming, and so she felt some relief when she spotted an elf boy walking her way. She waved.

  “Excuse me, do you know where new students are supposed to—”

  He shook his head and passed by at a brisk pace.

  “—where the new students are supposed to go?” she trailed off hopelessly. He was not as helpful as the elves back home.

  Kyla waved down a rushing minotaur and asked the same question. He didn't stop, but at least pointed to a sign:

  NEW STUDENTS REPORT TO VICTORY HALL

  Kyla dragged her bags several yards before realizing she had no idea where to find Victory Hall.

  It wasn't a long search. The flagstone walkway led straight to the front doors, and signs clearly marked the path to the Orientation. Everyone was friendlier here, likely as they were all new and eager to make friends. Kyla applied her name tag and set her bags against a wall. She felt a rush of nervous excitement. There were so many interesting people to meet. She wasn't normally shy but wasn't used to such large crowds, so decided to start with a leprechaun who stood alone at the beverage table. As he was shorter than her, he wasn't as intimidating as some of the other new students.

  She put on her friendliest smile. “Hi! My name's Kyla! Burburt, is it?”

  “Hi.” The leprechaun appeared bewildered until he looked down at his name tag. “Oh, right. Charmed.”

  Kyla extended her arm so he could greet her in the Elvish fashion of clasping wrists, but he didn't notice so she pretended to wipe something off her shirt. “I've never met a leprechaun before. Is it true you have to give someone gold if they catch you?” She didn't think catching him would be all that hard.

  Burburt turned one leg outward and looked ready to bolt, as though he had been grabbed many times before, but she had no interest in gold. She didn't pounce, and Burburt relaxed. “A bit of a myth. Truth be told, I haven't a ha'penny to my name.”

  “Yeah. Me, neither.” She didn't know what a ha'penny was, but figured if she did have one she'd know about it. “So what are you thinking about studying?”

  “I'm in the alchemy program. Learn to make my own gold, you know.”

  “Oh! That sounds fun.” It didn't, but Kyla was no stranger to the etiquette of chit-chat. “I'm thinking of taking geology. Or earth magic. I collect rocks, you know, so I figure I'll take something that lines up with my interests.”

  “You aren't in any classes yet?”

  “Yes. I think. What do you mean? I paid tuition already.”

  “Have you registered for classes? I got my course schedule two weeks ago.”

  Kyla's stomach pitted. Had she missed something? “How do I find out?”

  “Should be in your student packet. Over there.”

  Burburt pointed to a troll sow on the opposite side of the room. The troll sat next to a table stacked high with bundles of books and papers bound haphazardly with rope. A harpy stopped by and the troll promptly handed her a bundle.

  Kyla felt the blood drain to her feet. “I'd better go check.” She and her parents had spent months foraging for enough herbs to cover costs for school. It was sickening to think she might be sent home because she missed out on a little paperwork. She strode quickly to the troll's table, but only made it halfway before she heard a shout and felt a smack across the back of her head.

  “Watch it!” The vo
ice bore a hollow echo, as though drifting up from an abyss.

  Kyla turned to see a demoness glaring at her with fiery eyes. Her teeth were bared and uncomfortably sharp.

  She searched for words but wasn't sure what she had done wrong. “I'm sorry” was all she could conjure. She turned away but the demoness shouted again.

  “I don't care if you're sorry! Get off me!” The demoness' voice sparked and sounded like the roar of a fire.

  Kyla's heart pounded as she looked at her feet. Her shoes, designed by her father to be comfortable over rocky ground, had prevented her from feeling the tail under her foot. Kyla lifted it and the tail whipped back around the demoness, almost striking a centaur walking behind.

  “I'm so sorry!” Kyla was sincere this time. “It's my shoes! I mean, I love my shoes. My dad made them and they're super comfortable but I didn't feel—”

  “Shut it before I cram my fist into it!”

  Kyla assumed 'it' referred to her own mouth, which she promptly clamped shut. She stared up at the looming demoness – 'Lili', by her name tag – who stepped closer and stared down, rubbing a finger over the tip of one of her horns. She looked over Kyla's matted hair, down to her sweaty clothes that stuck to her skin, and to her shoes, which were caked in mud.

  “I see. Just crawled out of the latrine to find yourself some dinner?”

  Kyla stepped back. “No. I-uh-I spent the last three days in a stagecoach. I haven't had a chance to clean up yet.”

  “Oh, yeah. Too much trouble to change clothes before coming to meet everyone?”

  “No, it's just I don't know where—”

  The demoness scowled. “I know your type. Never learned to take care of yourself because mommy and daddy always did it for you. The biggest problem you've ever dealt with is leaving home because now you have no one to wipe your nose for you, and you're going to cry yourself to sleep tonight because you miss them so much. Am I right?”