Elf Mastery

by Bryant Reil

  Kyla extended her arm. “I’m Kyla. My dad makes shoes.”

  Chapter Three

  Try, Try Again

  Kyla wanted to see the campus and her stomach recommended she start with the cafeteria. Eunoe and Aspen agreed to join her. Aura was harder to convince. Air spirits don't need to eat, she said, and besides, she wasn't keen on being around large groups of people. She couldn't withstand Kyla's pleas for long, however, and the four found themselves sitting in a booth. The food was plentiful if not plain. This didn't bother Kyla, who piled her plate with potatoes, carrots, and fried fish. Aspen asked for a fresh fish from the kitchen, which she was given, and ate raw as Eunoe had warned. Kyla found seeing it more disturbing than hearing about it, but Aspen again insisted that if it was acceptable for bears, why not dryads?

  Eunoe settled for a small salad and Aura took nothing at all, though she did become more transparent as the room grew more crowded. There were people of all types: fairies, sprites, elves, and many Kyla couldn't identify, but she didn't stop talking long enough to appreciate any of them.

  “...and so then I bit him. I bit Bit. That's my brother's name, see. Anyway my mom...”

  She paused as a satyr approached the table. He had his hands behind his back and a peculiar grin. He glanced the girls over, but then rested his focus on Eunoe, who stopped picking at her salad and looked at him under a cocked eyebrow.

  “Fairest nymph,” the satyr began, dropping to a knee and extending a hand which was never received, “I was struck by your shining countenance from across the room. I have spent my life among the nymphs but have never encountered one with your beauty. Your golden hair shames the sun, and surely is the reason it hides its face every evening!”

  Aspen snickered. Eunoe took a sip of water with her mouth locked in disgust. The satyr wasn't deterred.

  “Your eyes sparkle with the depth and radiance of the pools in—”

  “Her eyes are GREEN!” Kyla pointed out with a full mouth.

  “The emerald pools of the enchanted meadow where I once frolicked with...”

  Eunoe put her water down. “You can stop now,” she interrupted. “I'm not interested.”

  The satyr stood but didn't appear fazed.

  “Ah, but you are a nymph and I am a satyr! Our kinds are bonded, spirits of nature ever destined to—”

  “Yup. Lived around satyrs my whole life. Bunch of drunks. I came here to get away from them. I'm honestly surprised to see one at a school.”

  The satyr winced and Kyla felt sorry for him until he turned to Aspen and opened his mouth again.

  “No worries. I shall proceed in descending order of attractiveness. Fair dryad, with verdant hair and skin of-uh-mahogany?”

  “Cherry,” Aspen giggled.

  “Cherry. A sweet fruit, but not as sweet as the nature of the gentle dryad, strong and true as the tree you...oh shoot.”

  The satyr paused a moment to collect his wording, reciting to himself as though he had practiced his lines before coming to the table. He soon became frustrated and turned to Aura.

  “Daughter of the air, carrying the wind and rain. You give life to the world as you do to my heart. Your gentle breeze eases the pain of the day and your rain brings refreshment to arid lands as well as arid hearts.”

  Kyla was rather fond of that one. Aura seemed unimpressed and said nothing. Saul turned to Kyla now, who smiled. No one had ever made poetry about her before! Except her dad, but he didn't count. Her smile faded as the satyr looked her over and scratched his chin. Soon she was frowning. This was taking too long. Finally, he just said “Nice shirt”. Kyla crossed her arms and cast her iciest glare.

  “Mind if I sit here?” he asked as he sidled next to Eunoe.

  She didn't budge. “I do mind.”

  The satyr would not be deterred. “Fine. I'll sit over here.” He stepped over to Aura's side of the table. “Mind if I sit here?” he asked.

  “I don't care what you do.” Kyla noted that Aura was turning opaque.

  The satyr shrugged and sat next to her. She didn't leave him much room, so he was only halfway seated on the cushion.

  “So anyway I'm Saul.”

  No one answered. Aspen started to, but a kick under the table from Eunoe kept her quiet.

  “Um...ok. I get it. Got a girl's club going on over here. Except, you know, I lost my seat when I came over so I guess I'm committed now, right?”

  There was an uneasy silence until Eunoe broke it.

  “So, Kyla, did you decide what you want to study?”

  Kyla did not let the fact her mouth was full slow down her speech. “No. The Dean said I could try out some classes this week but earth magic and geology were both full so I'm gonna try a bunch of other stuff. Maybe I could take some classes with you guys! What are you taking anyway?”

  Aspen put down her fish and clapped. “You could take tree singing with me! We're doing Hymns of the Harvest this week.”

  “That sounds fun!”

  Saul leaned forward. “How about dancing? You could take tap with me!”

  Kyla was quick to forgive Saul's recent offense on the account he seemed rather dim. “I love dancing! You're a dancer?”

  “Oh, I know a thing or two!” Saul stood and did a jig. His hooves obviated the need for tap shoes, and he had a good rhythm.

  Kyla applauded. “Very nice! That sounds like a lot of fun. I don't know if I'd want to major in it, though. You know, might take the fun away.”

  “Oh, that's not my major. Just a hobby. You couldn't handle MY major.”

  Four sets of eyes drilled into Saul, and Kyla unforgave him. “And why is that, exactly?”

  Saul bowed apologetically. “Oh, it's just that I'm in engineering. And you're a girl. And an elf.”

  The satyr appeared not to notice the blood and fire that shot from the eyes of Eunoe. Kyla was more surprised than upset. “Excuse me?”

  “I mean, no offense. Elves make great artists and archers and farmers, and I absolutely adore women, but engineering takes an intellectual mind. You all have your heads too far up in the clouds for any real thinking.”

  Kyla was pretty sure this was an insult. Should she be mad? She deferred to Eunoe but the alseid said nothing so Kyla decided to step up.

  “I could engineer circles around you!” she challenged.

  Saul looked taken aback but not intimidated enough to refuse. “Really? You? Don't make me laugh!”

  “I... what? That wasn't a joke! What makes you think you're so smart?”

  “Uh...highest score on the engineering exam, that's what. Do you know how to calculate the speed and trajectory of a manticore in a Perseian dive? I do.”

  “No. Well, do you know how to calculate the speed and trajectory of my foot kicking you in the coin purse?”

  “Good one,” Aspen giggled. Eunoe smirked through her scowl.

  “Thank you.” Kyla's anger sometimes made her wittier.

  Saul ruminated on the coin purse comment before reflexively putting up defenses. “Yes, I do actually. You know, physical threats are the sign of a weak mind.”

  “Well, you're the sign of someone who's...who...oh shoot.” Kyla turned to Eunoe. “Sorry, I lost momentum.” She turned back to Saul. “I could outsmart you any time, goat-boy!”

  Eunoe interjected. “Kyla, goat-boy isn't an insult to a satyr. Call him a nanny.”

  Saul bleated and his voice rose to a shout. “A nanny, am I? Well, I'd be more than happy to take any of you on in a battle of the brains! In fact, I'll give a cask of wine to any of you who can even finish the first day's assignment in my class!”

  Kyla's volume and tone raised to match Saul's. “Tell me the time and place and I'll be there, you sorry sack of crab-apples!” A few elves at a nearby table gasped at her language. Good thing her mom wasn't around.

  “Room one-seventeen in the Chiron Science Building! Six a.m.!”

  “That's an awful lot earlier than I planned on waking up but fine! And you'd better bring some hu
mble pie for breakfast because you're going to be eating a lot of it!”

  “I don't like pie!”

  Kyla had to stop shouting because Saul had broken the rhythm of her insult by not recognizing it, so she sat down in a huff. He stormed off. Kyla furrowed her brow and turned to Eunoe.

  “What does an engineer do, exactly?”

  ***

  It was as Saul had told her. The engineering room was devoid of elves and females, though with all the oddballs it was no wonder. The students were seated around circular tables in groups of four, save one sheepish dwarf who sat alone and kept his eyes on his shoes. Kyla sat next to Saul, and though he was in a friendly mood she refused to acknowledge him. At her left sat a gnome, and across from her a brownie who stared at her intently.

  “Are you a boy or a girl?” the brownie pondered aloud.

  “A GIRL!” Kyla barked. The brownie jumped in his seat.

  “It's just – you know – hard to tell with elves,” he said. After that he seemed embarrassed to look at her.

  The professor, a stocky centaur with a pristine goatee, entered the room pulling a wagon filled with odds and ends.

  “Good morning!” he bellowed. His voice was deep and hollow. “I'm not one for chit-chat. Chances are, neither are any of you. Let's get down to business. Here—” His eyes ran over Kyla, and he paused a moment before picking back up. “Here are sundry items that I have collected from the junkyard. We're going to begin with a little warm-up. Using only items you find in this cart, I want each of you to build a timepiece. Any style will do, as long as it works. Begin.”

  Kyla had a lot of fun sifting through the junk pile, pulling out anything that looked interesting, including a metal gear and a wooden box with the word 'DANGER' engraved in Elvish script across the lid. So of course she opened it. Inside was a folded up picture of a battle scene. The background started black on the left side and gradually lightened in tone until the right side was white, with the sketch in the foreground starting white on the left and getting darker toward the right. The image was finely detailed and illustrated all sorts of creatures in tense combat. Each face had a clear expression, some marked with anger, some in fear, and some in determination. There were creatures and weapons of all sort, and though Kyla knew many stories of ancient battles this scene was unfamiliar.

  She must have spent more time looking at the picture than she thought, as the Professor called out for everyone to finish and she hadn't even started. She grabbed an armful of leftover items and tried fitting them together, refusing to admit to herself that she had no idea what she was doing.

  The professor started making his rounds to examine everyone's work. Kyla began to sweat and continued to fumble with her items as he approached her table.

  He stopped at the Brownie first. The Brownie had made a simple sundial. The professor frowned. “Well – technically that does meet the requirement,” he said before moving on. He did not seem impressed, but the Brownie beamed. The gnome had built a mechanical timepiece with counterweights. It was crude but drew a smile from the Professor. Kyla noticed Saul's work for the first time, and had to admit it was quite remarkable. He had made a water clock and dropped a goldfish into it (though where he found the fish Kyla couldn't say). At timed intervals the device would drop a piece of food into the water and the fish would swim to snatch it, which would disturb the surface and send a small drop of water into a graduated cylinder. The Professor leaned in to admire it before speaking.

  “That is amazing!” the professor said with a smile. He addressed the class. “Looks like we have here not just an engineer but an artist!” Saul gave Kyla a smug smirk. She would have been angry had she not been so embarrassed when the professor looked at the hastily-assembled pile of junk in front of her, which then tumbled to the floor.

  ***

  “I don't care what everyone else said. I thought your work was brilliant!” Saul chided as they left the classroom. “First-rate! Boy, you really showed me! Hey, wanna go for breakfast?”

  Kyla was too ashamed to feel angry at Saul, but not too ashamed to reject his invitation. “Maybe I'll check out Aspen's singing class.”

  ***

  Tree Singing was taught by a winged woman with glowing white eyes and a voice like thunder. She reminded Kyla of the destroying angels she had heard about in stories. Kyla imagined such a terrifying personage would only scare the tree. Aspen, however, hung on to her every word.

  “Tree Singing is built on trust,” the angel boomed. “If the trees don't trust you, they won't respond. Your voice should be even and gentle. Your volume is important. Sing softly and watch your pitch! In the language of trees, your pitch changes the meaning. Listen carefully!”

  The angel turned to an apple tree and began to sing. Her singing voice was more gentle and melodic than her speaking voice, and carried a hint of tinkling bells.

  “A-lo-lei-a si-nai-i-la!” the angel sang. The leaves on the tree grew slightly. “Now watch what happens if I change the pitch!”

  She sang the same words again only slightly higher. This time the roots of the tree dug deeper into the ground.

  “You see? The tree trusts me and does as I say. Yet the same words provide entirely different instructions. There are enough trees here for everyone. Pick one and sing. The second phrase is exactly one octave higher than the first. Watch the difference it makes.”

  The students milled about as they selected trees. Kyla staked one out next to an orc, whom she was surprised to see in a music class, though it turned out he had a lovely voice. Kyla turned to her own tree when he finished and tried the song.

  “A-lo-lei-a si-nai-i-la!” she sang. She felt she had followed the melody beautifully, though her singing voice was a touch lower than the angel's.

  Kyla heard a gasp. Aspen ran up and put her hands on her shoulders. “Olono-maia ala na-se!” she sang. She turned Kyla to face her. “That was a terrible thing to say,” she scolded. “You need to sing higher.”

  Kyla tried again. She could tell by Aspen's pained expression it wasn't going well. The leaves on the tree started turning brown, and Aspen put her hand over Kyla's mouth before she could finish.

  “Kyla? You-you-maybe this isn't for you.”

  “I can do it!” Kyla insisted. “I sing all the time back home. I'm just not used to all this pitch stuff.”

  “Kyla...” Aspen paused and bit her lower lip. “You just said some awful things. The trees are furious. I think it's best if you go.”

  ***

  Eunoe's animal design class felt comfortable. It was mostly women and there were plenty of elves. It seemed to Kyla a good fit. Elves had invented the human and the penguin, after all. The room was decorated with diagrams of animals and was clean and organized. The professor was an elf who appeared about the same age as Kyla's father, with slight streaks of gray in his black hair. He was well dressed, had a bright smile, and spoke in a loud but gentle tone.

  “Good morning!” he began. “Welcome to Basics of Animal Design. I'm Professor Aegelis. I know some of you have more experience than others in this field, but that shouldn't matter. We shall cover everything you need to know, and move at a fast enough pace that those of you with more experience won't get bored. Now, who can tell me what is the first thing we need to do before we start creating new animals?”

  A few students offered answers, each of which the professor cordially addressed but none seemed to be what he was looking for. “An idea!” he finally revealed. “You can be the most gifted person in the world at drafting designs or knitting DNA, but unless you know what you want to make none of those skills are going to get you anywhere. Now I assure you that throughout this course I will teach you what you need to know about the process, but the ideas are up to you. Everyone take out a paper and a pencil and sketch something for me. Create a new animal, or modify a current one! Don't worry about the technical aspects yet. Just show me what innovative ideas your minds can produce!”

  Kyla, somewhat lost in the pro
fessor's golden voice, took a moment to gather herself and get her materials together. She looked around. The other students were already busy drawing. Some were more skilled than others. Eunoe's drawing looked reasonable – it was some kind of winged snake – but some of the other students were true artists. One elf girl was drawing an aquatic chicken. A nearby fairy sketched a three-headed dog, which made Kyla roll her eyes because she was pretty sure that was already a thing.

  Kyla sat and thought, and drew a circle, and then erased it and thought some more. Soon she had a page full of eraser marks, but no drawing. The professor announced the final minute and, in a panic, Kyla jotted down the first thing that came to mind.

  The other students' presentations went well. There were some interesting ideas, though Kyla's favorite was the horned beaver because it was so adorable. The professor had something nice to say about all of them. Until he got to her.

  “Um...it's a human,” she explained. “But he's tall as a giant. See, this tree only comes up to his knee.”

  “So he's just a giant.”

  “Oh. Basically, I guess. But I gave him an extra arm.”

  “I see. And what's that coming out of his mouth?”

  “Well, he breathes fire.”

  The professor said nothing, and continued on. The lack of feedback was crushing. Eunoe gave Kyla a weak smile which failed to make things better.

  ***

  Aura was not only a student but taught a beginner class on breezes as well. They met on a hill not far from Haven Hall. It took some pleading but Aura opened an extra seat so Kyla could attend, though this meant she had to use one of the old oscillators. She held it in front of her as Aura drifted over the steep hillside and turned to face the class, hovering high above the grassy meadow. Kyla pressed the button on the side and wind shot from an opening at the front. She pressed it again and it stopped. She pressed it again. And again. And then she giggled.

  Most of the other students were fairies, harpies, and other winged folk. Kyla was excited to try her hand at flying as she had never done it before. She didn't know if she wanted to be a bearer of the wind for the rest of her life, but it certainly wasn't the worst job she could imagine.