Elf Mastery

by Bryant Reil

  As much as Dunkin hated giants, he didn't resent Mime. Mime's incredible size and strength gave him the right to abuse others. What Dunkin hated most was people who weren't giants yet still gave him condescending glances. Marik's face flashed in Dunkin's mind, and he took a swing at the air, smashing that stupid grin into a bloody mass in his mind's eye. Giants, at least, were meant to tower over people.

  Dunkin watched through the shop window. The elf girl had to head this way if she were going to Alfheim. The mammoth caravan was just up the road. Dunkin had procured himself a pig to ride. His informant had said Kyla was accompanied by an earth elemental, and the caravan would be driven by a giant or two, so Dunkin would have to follow until an opportunity opened for attack. Yet he couldn't take too long; if Linkin learned of Kyla's whereabouts he'd shadow travel up in a blink. Dunkin hated to think of that twit getting the rubbing first. Dunkin didn't care so much about the rubbing as the girl; someone had to pay for the damage to his lungs, and he had no way to track down the air spirit that had assaulted him.

  It was two hours before the elf finally arrived, but she used the route Dunkin anticipated. She was indeed with a stone elemental, even smaller than Dunkin had expected. He grinned. He may not even need the negation ring. He twirled it on his finger. Better to be safe, anyway.

  Kyla looked across the way and Dunkin worried she might have seen him through the window, so he ducked down and crawled for the door. He knew where she was going.

  The pig was still tied to the support beam. It squealed and tried to shake off its reins and saddle as Dunkin approached. The pig ran as far as its rope would allow, but Dunkin wrestled it into submission. It put up a decent fight. Dunkin planned to eat it after he was done with it due to all the trouble it caused. He climbed into the saddle, untied the rope, and spurred the pig onward. It took off with an angry squeal. Dunkin skirted the pig around the buildings, away from the road, and found a spot behind a barrel-maker where he could watch as the elf and the elemental took their position on the caravan. A young giantess prepared the mammoths for departure. Dunkin wondered how to deal with her. An apothecary across the way gave him an idea. A jar sat on the window, and while Dunkin couldn't read the language he recognized the passion flower on the label. He had used such a concoction many times to put himself to sleep during his miserable years at Sulafat Station.

  And so, giant bottle strapped to his bag, atop a pig that needed to be reined tightly to keep it from running off, Dunkin followed the caravan of mammoths as they set out toward the mountains of Alfheim.

  ***

  “What are you doing?”

  Eunoe tried again to push past Aspen, who was blocking the door.

  “You can't tell Marik!” Aspen pleaded.

  “And why not?”

  “I don't trust him.”

  Eunoe sighed. Marik had been nothing but kind, and Aspen couldn't give a single reason not to trust him, but she was determined there was something wrong with him.

  “Fine,” Eunoe relented, “but we have to tell someone.”

  “Why can't we just go find her?”

  “People are trying to kill her! She needs soldiers, not a nymph and a dryad.”

  “We can fly on Castor!”

  “The army has people that can fly as well. And they have seers. Wizards. All sorts of resources. And they seem to have an interest in keeping her safe. I'm sure they'll send for her.”

  This didn't put Aspen at ease. “Marik works for the Director now. He sees everything. We can't let him know what's going on.”

  Eunoe frowned. Aspen was being frustrating. There was one person, however, that could not only fly but had vast resources and could likely put out a search without anyone knowing. And he was someone Aspen would trust.

  “Then we're going to see Denzig.”

  ***

  “Kyla's missing.”

  “Well I didn't eat her, if that's what you're suggesting.” Denzig pulled a large mitt from a drawer and pulled a metal tray from his fireplace.

  Eunoe put her hand over her nose and mouth to avoid inhaling the smoke that permeated the room. “No. No, I didn't think that. I thought you might help us find her.”

  “Oh. It's just that's the first thing people assume when someone goes missing. Believe me, eating a good friend isn't a mistake I'd make again. Anyway don't tell Kyla I said this but elves are terrible meals. Not a lot of meat and what they do have is stringy.”

  “She won't be offended by that,” Aspen assured him.

  Denzig looked forlornly at the tray, which appeared to be filled with tarts that had burnt around the edges. He sighed, a ring of smoke rising from his mouth and mingling with the smoke already in the air. “I need to get a conventional oven. Barbecuing is easy enough in the fireplace but baking requires more precision. Maybe Mrs. Glasgow will let me use her oven during book club. If it happens. The humans are in a panic, you know. Most of them have holed up in their homes.”

  “They know about Erebus?” This surprised Eunoe. Humans were typically thought to be ignorant of the goings-on in the world. “They must be horrified! The poor things.”

  “Oh, no. They don't believe in ancient gods or ghosts or any of the other things that scare sensible folk. But sometimes little things, like all the stars going out, absolutely terrifies them. In fact, they're so scared they've stopped warring with each other, and that's one of their favorite hobbies. Would you like some cake? Don't worry, I didn't make it. It was on sale.”

  “No, thank you. Anyway I think she went to Alfheim.”

  Denzig looked confused. “Why would she go there?”

  Eunoe relayed the story about Linkin, and the stone, and Aias, and Kyla's convoluted plan to capture Erebus. By the time she was done Denzig was finishing the last bite of cake, which Eunoe now regretted not sharing.

  “That's very interesting,” Denzig said with his mouth full, “but pretty daft to run off and do it on her own.”

  Eunoe shot up in her seat. “Yes! Daft. Thank you. That's exactly the word for it.”

  Aspen gave a light applause to celebrate Eunoe finding the right word. Eunoe sensed something from Aias as well; he lauded Kyla's efforts, though Eunoe doubted he understood the scope of events.

  “I can certainly take you there,” Denzig said. “This volcano shouldn't have to go off again for a few hundred years, so I have a bit of free time. I do have a brunch with Marcy Bechthold tomorrow. She's going to take a look at the book I'm writing! Darling woman. One of the only people who opens her door nowadays.”

  “We don't need a ride. I have transport. The problem is there are dwarves after Kyla and we may need someone to...er...”

  “Oh! Yes. Of course. Dwarf tastes much better than elf, by the way. A bit gamey, but I bet it would go well with a nice Rodenbach. I believe I have some in the pantry!” Denzig disappeared for a moment and returned with a glass bottle. “Only got one left.”

  Eunoe was equally amused and horrified. “I didn't mean you need to eat him. Just prevent him from hurting Kyla.”

  “Oh! Oh.” Denzig looked at the bottle. “But you wouldn't stop me, right? It's just that this has been sitting a while and I need to use it before it expires.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Porcum Ex Machina

  Kyla's stomach rumbled. “Was food included in the price of passage?”

  “No.” Inga eyed Kyla warily as she stuffed the rest of her breakfast in her mouth.

  Kyla sighed as she stood up and looked around. Now that she was on the road she regretted not bringing rations. She was accustomed to foraging, but regretted making it part of her travel plan. It was a chilly morning and this late in the year food options were less delicious than spring and summer.

  “Do you want to come with me, Lug?”

  Lug had been quiet since they arrived in Varis and he dragged his feet as he walked. The ground was strange to him, he said. “No crystals to eat here.”

  “Could you come anyway? It's just that every time I wa
nder off by myself someone tries to kill me.”

  Lug looked at her a moment before standing up. He lumbered over and followed as she stepped into the brush.

  Kyla scoured the area quickly, and ended up farther from camp than she liked. She doubted Inga would leave without her but she didn't want to keep the giantess waiting.

  “Do you have to eat special kinds of rocks or can you just kind of eat anything?” Kyla wondered aloud as she peered under bushes and tree trunks for mushrooms.

  “Anything. I eat anything, but I like quartz. And amethyst. And turquoise. Mother said I have great apatite.” Lug offered a weak smile, and Kyla felt like there was a joke hidden in there somewhere, but she had no idea how to find it.

  “What did you have this morning?”

  “I no eat today.”

  “Well no wonder you look sick!” It was hard for a being of stone to look ill, but Lug was dragging his feet and his arms were hanging by his side.

  “Can't eat. Earth here is strange.”

  “Yeah but you can eat normal food, can't you? I'll make you something. Do you like dandelion tea?” Dandelions were Kyla's first discovery of the morning. She found the tea came out bitter this late in the season, and she had no honey, but this was just another challenge she had to deal with. She was trying to save the world, after all.

  “Rock is normal food. Don't know if elf food is ok,” Lug mumbled.

  “Well, I'll make some for you.”

  They broke through a line of trees to a grassy clearing. “Puffballs!” Kyla shouted excitedly. The ground was lined with white balls of various sizes. She grabbed a few of the larger ones, split them open to make sure there were no caps or stems inside, and stuffed them in her bag. “We're going to eat pretty well!”

  They wandered another half-hour. Kyla did find some wild leeks and satisfied with her haul led Lug back to camp. She could still see the smoke from the campfire though it had dissipated somewhat, and Kyla feared Inga was putting it out.

  “Hurry!” she urged Lug. He lumbered through the shrubs behind. Inga was asleep next to the fire pit and the mammoths were nervously milling about. The fire was reduced to embers, but still hot enough they could be stirred back up. Kyla counted this as fortunate as it would give her time to make her own breakfast before they broke camp. She hoped the mammoths didn't wander off; she doubted she could manage them. She pulled a pot and a pan from her bag and realized she had no water for the dandelion tea. She poked around and, on the other side of Inga, spotted Inga's canteen. It was open and spilling water across the ground. Kyla quickly stuck her pot under the flow but then looked at the giantess' face. Had Inga fallen asleep with her canteen open? Or had she passed out?

  An empty bottle nearby sparked Kyla's fears. It was written in the language of the giants and had a picture of a passion flower. Kyla was no botanist but knew her mom sometimes used passion flower extract to help her sleep. Inga must have overdone it. Kyla considered heading into the Alfheim mountains on foot, as they weren't so far now, but hated to leave Inga in that condition.

  There was a sudden squeal and a rustle of branches to the left. Kyla's heart skipped and her head turned to the sound. “Lug!” she called out. There was a slow lumbering sound of stone as he sauntered over.

  “Yes?”

  “There's something in the trees.”

  “Maybe bear.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.” Then again, maybe not. There was a second squeal and a tired-looking Dunkin emerged riding a large and equally tired-looking pig. Kyla gasped and ducked behind Lug. “Get him, Lug!”

  “You know him?” Lug asked.

  “Yes! He tried to kill me!”

  Lug lurched and turned his head. “Why he try to kill you?”

  Kyla couldn't recall how much she had told Lug about her adventures. “We'll talk about that later!” She looked at Dunkin. “YOU did this to Inga!”

  The dwarf smiled, though he didn’t seem at all happy. “She'll be fine. You, on the other hand, will not.”

  “I don't even have it with me!” she shouted. “Why won't you people leave me alone?”

  The dwarf's mouth widened into a grin. Now he seemed a menacing kind of happy. “There's been a change of plans. I'm going to kill you, and then we won't have to worry about your rubbing falling into the wrong hands. I'm sure if Erebus still wants it he'll find a way to procure it after you and everyone you love is dead.”

  Kyla paused. She suddenly wanted the dwarf to be after the rubbing again. “But you NEED it!”

  “For what? Do you even know what it is?”

  “Well...I mean, it has something to do with freeing Chaos, right?”

  “No matter. Erebus can rule just fine without him. Better, perhaps.”

  “You don't even want the rubbing anymore? Then why won't you leave me alone?”

  “You have taken up a fool's errand to stop Erebus. I doubt you could succeed, but I thought it would be a pleasure to stop you, just in case.” Dunkin coughed and spat a mess of blood onto the ground. His pig recoiled, but the dwarf yanked the reins to keep it still. “Somebody has to pay for what your friend did to me, and I needed to find you before Linkin. Seems you've made a lot of enemies.”

  Dunkin slid off the pig, which immediately tried to flee but Dunkin yanked on the reins and tied them to a nearby willow. He stepped forward but Lug blocked the way.

  “You no hurt her!” Lug crossed his arms and held his head high.

  Dunkin smiled and held up his left hand. On the middle finger was an iron ring, which he spun with his thumb. “Do you know what this is?”

  Lug peered at the ring cautiously. “I don't know. It no help you.”

  “Oh, but it DO help me. It's an elemental negation ring. A remnant from one of Erebus' ancient wars. He was kind enough to tip me off to its location.” Dunkin sneered and his eyes wandered to Kyla. “I'm going to use it to kill your friend. The air spirit.” He looked back at Lug. “It should work as well on you.”

  Lug shied back, causing Kyla to stumble away. He looked back at her and braced his shoulders. “Run,” he said softly. Kyla hesitated. Lug turned and took a swing at Dunkin, who held up the ringed hand and blocked the blow. There was certainly a lot of force which sent a wave rippling through Dunkin's body. Though his feet ground back several inches, he held fast to Lug's stony fist. Then Lug shook and the rocks that made up his body collapsed into a heap of rubble, save one that Dunkin gripped in his hand. He looked at Kyla and grinned.

  “Your turn, love!”

  Kyla didn't like Dunkin calling her 'love', but now was not the time for reprimands. She turned and ran, almost knocking herself over as one of the mammoths had wandered up behind her to drink some of Inga's spilled water. She decided she would be safer atop a mammoth than on the ground, but there was no way up. She grabbed a fistful of the mammoth's leg hair and turned to see how close Dunkin was. He hadn't moved yet, but as she slowed he tossed the rock in his hand aside and moved forward. As soon as he did this, the rocks that had once been Lug churned and rolled and reformed the elemental, who looked angry.

  Dunkin heard the rumble of stones and turned. The panic on his face as he saw Lug peering over him was priceless. Lug's great fist came crashing down. Dunkin dodged and quickly stuck out his ring hand and grabbed Lug by the leg. Once again the rocks collapsed into a heap. Dunkin glanced desperately at Kyla, who couldn't help but smirk. Dunkin roared and started to charge but as soon as he took his hand off of Lug's stone the assemblage began to reform and Dunkin quickly ran back. He couldn't chase Kyla without letting go of Lug, but he couldn't walk away without Lug reforming. Dunkin's rage was interrupted by occasional helpless huffs.

  Kyla had to laugh. Dunkin was trying to murder her, and yet she couldn't help finding this funny. She should be frightened. She was, a little, but the situation was so comical she felt even if he killed her she could at least go into the next life with a good story to share. And a pig! He had ridden here on a pig! If she survived she was going to write thi
s fairy tale herself.

  “Looks like you're stuck!” Kyla couldn't help her arrogant tone. “All that great strength and you can't even catch a little elf girl!”

  “I'll murder you!” Dunkin shouted. Rage overtook him again but reverted to panic just as quickly as he lunged for Kyla and Lug's body started reforming. He lunged back and the stones dropped again. Kyla flashed a haughty smile as she calmly collected her things.

  “Guess there's no rush!” she taunted. She packed her bag and slowly wandered to the mammoth with the howdah. The strap that held the howdah in place was too high for her to reach, so she slowly climbed its leg, looking back to tease the fuming Dunkin with a smile. She didn't want to leave Lug behind, or steal Inga's mammoth, but she supposed she could sit safely atop the great beast and taunt Dunkin until either he got bored or Inga woke up. Either way, she didn't need to worry about Lug's safety.

  A wicked grin broke Dunkin's face. He clutched one of Lug's rocks in his ringed hand and hurled another at Kyla. As long as he kept one piece held, Lug couldn't reform.

  “Oh, crab-apples.” She sank down into the howdah and the rock sailed safely overhead, but now she could no longer see. She worried he would ding her in the face with a stone if she popped up again. After a moment of silence, she dared to take a quick peek over the side and saw Dunkin scurrying up to the mammoth. He held a Lug-rock in his ring hand as the free hand tried to grab a hold of the mammoth's fur. He leaped and grabbed a fistful but pulled too hard, which the beast did not appreciate. It reared with a loud trumpeting noise, knocking Dunkin aside, and began to run.

  “I'll come back for you, Lug!” Kyla shouted. She supposed that the mammoth would carry her to safety, and then she could work her way to the mountains of the Digans. To her dismay Dunkin wasn't inclined to give up his pursuit. He quickly untied his pig and, after subduing it in a brief wrestle, charged after her, with one of Lug's stones still in his hand. And though the mammoth ran with great strides and burst through trees and over boulders, that pig was fiercely fast.