DEPRAVED

by J, Bella

  The second I stepped back, she let out a breath, her body sagging against the wall. I straightened my cut and pulled my hand through my hair. “You should get some rest.”

  With that, I left the room and locked the door behind me. I fell back against the door, tracing my thumb across my lips, still tasting her. It was the flavor of sweet, sweet innocence—something I made sure remained until I was ready to claim it for myself.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The mix of lust and anger was toxic and strong. If I didn’t get a handle on it, I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do next.

  “Neon!” I called down the hall, and the blue-haired pixie appeared in the doorway.

  “Will it help if I say I didn’t mean to?”

  “No.” I started walking toward her while lighting a cigarette.

  “Um…will it help if I say I’m really, really sorry?”

  I blew out a cloud of smoke. “No.”

  “Goddammit.”

  At that moment, Ink came strolling in through the back door. Neon glanced at him then back at me. “Will it help if I say I’ll blow Ink?”

  Ink balked. “Say what?”

  I wasn’t amused. “No.”

  “Hold up one cotton-picking minute.” Ink walked over. “Dude, I have no idea what she did, but please, in the name of God, let her apologize for whatever it is by blowing me.”

  “Oh, my God.” Neon shoved against his chest. “You are such a slut.”

  Ink followed her out of the kitchen, spitting out promises of mind-blowing sixty-nines and multiple orgasms. Neon’s only reaction was giving him the finger. It would have been amusing if it wasn’t for me and my brother glaring at each other from across the room.

  Onyx crossed his arms while leaning back against the counter. “You look pissed, big brother.”

  “Do I?” I took a seat at the table, straightening my legs out in front of me. “What the fuck you doing, Onyx?”

  “Nothing, man. Neon let her out so the prospects could clean her room.”

  “And you just let her?”

  Onyx snorted. “Do you know Neon? There’s no telling that woman.”

  “You’re the VP. You should know better.”

  His jaw clenched, lips pulled in a straight line. “And you’re the president. You should know better than to put the club at risk for your own fucking personal reasons.”

  A wrecking ball of flames and fury slammed against my chest, and I balled my fists, feeling the veins bulge in my arms. “You should think twice before throwing those kinds of accusations around, little brother.”

  He pushed himself off the counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “It’s the truth. You and I both know it.”

  “Explain,” I demanded simply, relaxing my fists a little.

  “Sure. I’ll explain it to you in one word.” He popped the cap off his beer. “Kate.”

  Yeah. One word. Just one fucking word that made me want to beat the shit out of my brother. The second her name left his mouth, I wanted to slam my fist into his face and break his nose.

  Instead, I got up from the chair, needing to be face-to-face with him. “Don’t go there, brother.”

  Onyx smirked. “Why not, brother? Afraid to relive some old memories?”

  “Don’t.”

  He set his beer down on the table, straightening. “Why not? You and I both know what’s really going on here. You have your own personal reasons for having her here.” He pointed toward the bedroom where Alyx was. “And using her as a pawn in our little game of revenge against the Pythons is only half of it.”

  “Don’t talk about shit you don’t know.”

  “Oh, I know. I know about Kate, and I know Alyx reminds you of her. That’s why she’s here, isn’t it?”

  In that moment, I lost my shit, launching myself at Onyx. We grabbed at each other’s collars and gripped tight, a fucking deadlock between two giants ready to break each other.

  “It’s been a long time since I kicked your ass, little brother. Keep on talking, and that will change.”

  Onyx didn’t move and didn’t lessen his grip on my cut. “I’m right. She does remind you of Kate. You know how I know?” He clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth. “Because she reminds me of Kate as well.”

  For a brief second, I saw in his eyes what I had felt in my soul for years. Anger. Regret. Grief. But instead of feeling sorry for him, it made me want to hurt him even more.

  “Why are you two talking about my sister when you’re about to kill each other?”

  Onyx and I looked at Dutch standing by the door. Immediately, Onyx and I let go of each other, but I kept my eyes on him. “Stay away from her, Onyx. Consider this your first and last warning.”

  Onyx straightened his jacket. “Sure thing, brother. Just know that having her won’t make you feel any less guilty about Kate.”

  I couldn’t stop it. Those words triggered an automatic reaction, and when I blinked, it was too late. My fist connected with Onyx’s jaw, blood splattering from his mouth and onto the white kitchen tiles. But Onyx was a big motherfucker, just like me, and my punch didn’t make him go down. Instead, he launched at me, slamming his shoulder into my midsection. The air exploded from my lungs, pain shooting up my chest. My back hit the wall, and I wrapped my arm around his neck, trying to force him up so I could beat his face to a fucking pulp. But Dutch grabbed Onyx by his cut, pulling him off me and shoving him to the other side of the kitchen.

  “Stop this shit, both of you!” Dutch glared from Onyx to me, and back to Onyx. “This is not the time or the right fucking topic to lose your shit over. What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

  Onyx spat out some blood then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, glowering at me. “Stop pretending that this is all about avenging Dad’s death. Because it’s not, and we both know it.” Then he left, storming out of the kitchen.

  Dutch turned to me. “What the fuck, Granite?”

  I straightened. “Little shit doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”

  “I think he does.”

  I paused and frowned at Dutch. “What?”

  “Your brother is right. I’ve known this all along, I just didn’t say anything.”

  “Dutch—”

  “It’s about what we saw that night, isn’t it?” He placed his hands on his sides. “Don’t deny it, Granite. I knew it would fuck with your head. God knows, it fucked with mine. But I knew it was different for you. I saw it on your goddamn face while you watched it all go down.”

  I lifted my hand, pointing at him while I clenched my jaw. “You don’t know shit.”

  Dutch moved closer, the hard expression on his face meant to tell me he wasn’t afraid to take me on. “Look me in the motherfucking eye and tell me that your decision to take Alyx wasn’t made that very same night we witnessed what her mother did to her.”

  My nostrils flared, air rushing out of my lungs in angry waves. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say it. Dutch was my best friend, and no one knew me better than he did.

  “Can you tell me she doesn’t remind you of Kate? Of my sister?”

  I looked everywhere except at him. I couldn’t.

  “Thought so.” He took a step closer, eyes focused and serious. “I said this a thousand times before, and I’ll say it again. It’s not your fault. My sister made her own choices. Not you, not me, not Onyx…no one could have changed what happened.”

  “I could,” I bit out. “I could have changed it.”

  “No. No, you couldn’t. Even if you told someone, it still would have ended the same way.”

  My regret turned to anger, and I grabbed Onyx’s beer bottle from the table, flinging it across the room, glass shattering as it hit the wall.

  Dutch didn’t move. He didn’t even flinch. It wasn’t the first time he witnessed me lose my shit because of old fucked-up memories that just never let go of me.

  “It’s been going on for years, you and Alyx.” Dutch lit a smoke. �
�I’ve seen you two look at each other whenever we paid the police commissioner a visit.”

  I didn’t even try to deny it.

  Dutch blew out some smoke. “But after we saw what her psychopath mother did, I knew it was only a matter of time.”

  “Matter of time before what?”

  A half-grin crawled up at the corners of his mouth. “Before you took her.”

  “You make me sound like a fucking psychopath.”

  He snorted. “Not a psychopath, no.” He shrugged. “Obsessed, maybe. But not a psychopath.”

  Silence moved in around us, and I stared at the broken pieces of glass on the floor. “It’s not just because of her.” I turned to Dutch. “All this is not just because of Alyx…or your sister.”

  “I know. And that’s why you got my vote at church. We can fuck up the Pythons with this, even if it’s not your only motivation. But you need to keep your head in the game.”

  I took a seat across from him, pulling out a cigarette before tapping the filter side on the table. Talking about Kate had always been an uncomfortable topic between us. Mostly because I couldn’t talk about her without losing my shit. I still couldn’t understand how it was possible for Dutch to forgive me when I couldn’t even forgive myself.

  Clearly, Onyx hadn’t forgiven me either.

  “He loved her too.”

  I glanced at Dutch.

  “Your brother. He loved Kate too.”

  This time, I snorted. “My brother seems to always want what I have.”

  “Is that why you lost your shit with him? You think he wants Alyx too?”

  I tossed the unlit cigarette to the side, no longer craving it. “Who the fuck knows what’s going on in Onyx’s head? All I know is I don’t want him near her.”

  Dutch leaned with his arms on the table. “I’ll keep an eye on him. You might be the bigger asshole between the two of you, but Onyx is the loose cannon. We can’t afford for him to lose his shit.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Especially if you’re as obsessed with Alyx as I think you are.”

  Usually, I denied and played down everything Dutch said that related to me and what I may or may not have been feeling. Getting psychoanalyzed was not my thing, and I hated when others pretended to understand me. I didn’t even understand myself half the fucking time. But Dutch was my best friend. He was like my goddamn twin, and about the only one who remotely knew who and what I really was.

  Dutch opened his mouth, about to say something, when Manic came rushing in. “We got trouble.”

  I shot up from the chair. “What?”

  “Pythons.”

  “Where?”

  “Across the road.”

  “Jesus. Here?”

  Manic nodded. “And they brought leverage.”

  Dutch got up, and all three of us made our way out of the kitchen and down the stairs. Onyx joined in the second my boot hit the bottom floor. “They’ve never come so close to our turf before.”

  I passed Ink, and he handed me my gun, which I placed at my back underneath my cut. By the sound of it, everyone else got their guns as well.

  “They know we won’t make a scene on the street. Especially so close to the gym.”

  “I have a bad feeling about this, brother.” From the corner of my eye, I noticed Onyx glance my way without saying a word. Even though we wanted to kill each other ten minutes ago, right now we were a team. A family ready to eliminate a threat if we needed to.

  All five of us stormed through the gym. It was late afternoon, which meant there weren’t a lot of people. Thank fuck.

  We got to the front door, Ink and Dutch moving in front of me and Onyx, taking the lead. They opened the door slowly, Ink holding his hand on his gun at his back, ready to use it if he had to.

  Onyx wanted to walk ahead of me, but I reached out and held him back with my arm against his chest. “Keep your shit together.”

  The glare my way was his only response. But he knew as well as I did that if it was Slither on the other side of that goddamn road, Onyx would have to work extra hard at keeping his temper contained. Ever since the Pythons’ president murdered our dad, revenge was what we craved, and we knew the day would come when we would finally have it. It consumed us both, but it ruled Onyx.

  I nodded at Ink, and all of us stepped outside. And true as fuck, across the road was the president himself. Slither.

  The sight of his ugly motherfucking face aggravated my rage, and I had to take a deep breath to try to stay in control. Dutch stepped in next to me, close enough to act in case I lost my shit.

  Slither smiled, his freaky-as-fuck split tongue darting out of his mouth like the snake he was. The sly fuck basically invited me to kick his face with my goddamn boot. The fuckers who stood around him were proof he wasn’t such a dumb fuck after all, since he knew between Onyx and myself one of us was bound to kill him when we got the chance.

  Slither held up a hand. “Gentlemen, please. Come closer.”

  I moved, but Dutch grabbed my elbow. “Don’t. Ink and I will go.”

  “Not a chance.”

  Dutch moved closer, leaning into me. “It can be a trap.”

  “Is there a problem?” Slither called out.

  “Fuck you!” Onyx wanted to sprint across the road, but Ink grabbed him before he did.

  “Come on, Granite. I just want to talk.” The fucker was calling me out. Only I wasn’t stupid. There was no way I trusted him. Something was up; I could feel the warning tingle at the crook of my neck.

  Slither let out a maniacal laugh, reached behind him, and revealed a young boy. This time I had to grab Dutch to keep him from rushing across the road.

  Motherfucker.

  “Let the boy go, Slither,” I called out while trying to assess if Trent had been hurt.

  “Not until you join me over here for a little one-on-one chat.”

  Cars drove by, and people walked on the sidewalk. There was no way Slither would cause a scene—or a bloodbath—by hurting the boy now. But I couldn’t chance it. Pythons were unpredictable fuckers, and I wasn’t willing to put an innocent boy’s life at risk. So I walked.

  I heard Ink curse, but he fell into step alongside me. There was no need to look around for me to know the others were all behind us. Like I said, we were a team.

  “Keep a handle on Onyx,” I ordered Ink softly without anyone else hearing. The last thing we needed was my loose-cannon brother to cause shit.

  The second my boot hit the pavement in front of Slither, I looked the son of a bitch straight in the eye. “Let the boy go.”

  “Let the girl go.”

  My heart stopped. The way every nerve in my face went numb, I knew I was probably as pale as a ghost. But I kept my goddamn poker face. Around fuckers like Slither, you never showed anything except hate and indifference. “I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

  Slither lifted his top lip in a silent snarl, his split tongue flicking out of his mouth. “Do not fuck with me, Granite. You have the girl. I know you do.”

  I stepped up, making it clear he didn’t intimidate me. Not even the creepy-as-fuck snake tattooed down the side of his face and neck, its body disappearing underneath his shirt, unsettled me. Slither really took the whole snake thing too fucking far.

  “Let. The boy. Go.”

  Slither hissed, the two pieces of his tongue moving like tentacles as he licked his lips. No matter how ugly the fucker was, I did not break eye contact.

  “You know,” I started, “with that tongue, you’ll fit right in the day I send your ugly ass to hell.”

  The malicious grin on his face remained. “Let’s not start throwing threats around, now, shall we?”

  The men behind him stepped closer. Seven goddamn guys just to confront me. For onlookers, we probably looked like Titans ready to battle it out. God knew the atmosphere was palpable, like a war was about to start.

  I glared at him, and all I saw was the fucker who killed my father. I didn’t see a man. I didn’t see
a living, breathing human being. Slither was nothing but a demon, his eyes the color of a sewer rat. Brown, dirty, and motherfucking ugly.

  Straightening my stance and squaring my shoulders, I glared at him. “I won’t say it again.”

  Slither remained still, probably trying to assess the situation, thinking of every possible outcome.

  Blood. Blood. And blood.

  We both knew it. It was only a matter of time before our feud turned bloody…again.

  “Fine,” he conceded, shoving the boy across to us. I grabbed Trent’s shoulders and pushed him toward Manic. “Get the boy out of here.”

  Manic didn’t hesitate. He had the boy inside the gym within seconds.

  “I suggest you move the fuck along, Slither.” I kept my stance, refusing to show even an ounce of weakness. “Unless you feel like burning in hell today.”

  He let out a mocking laugh. “Where is the police commissioner’s daughter?”

  “Oh, you mean the girl you kidnapped?”

  “Are you sure you want to go down this road again? We all know what happened to your father when he decided to go up against me.” The malice that oozed out of him taunted my rage, and if it wasn’t for all this collateral walking around blissfully unaware, I would have ripped this fucker’s throat out right here, right the fuck now.

  “Move the fuck along, Slither. This is not the time or the place.”

  “Not until you admit you have her.”

  “What the fuck would I want with her?”

  Slither frowned, his eyes shooting daggers at my forehead. “Do not underestimate me, Granite. I know you have the girl. And I know you’re trying to pin it on us.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I walked right up to him, our faces inches apart. “Fucking prove it.”

  Slither smirked, the sound of traffic slowly disappearing into the background. In that moment, it was just me and him, two enemies desperate to tear each other’s heads off. From my calculations, it would take me less than five seconds to pull my gun out and plant some lead in the fucker’s skull. But he planned it well, calling me out in the street. Public. Open. Lots of witnesses. Fucker was good.