BOMAW 12-14

by Mercedes Keyes

  Crystal had sniffed and nodded against his wet neck, thanks to all her tears.

  "You still have your keys?" he asked her.

  She nodded once more.

  "Good, when you're ready to come home - you come on home, and we'll be right there waiting. Okay?"

  She sniffed again and nodded, sliding off of his lap back onto the step.

  He stood, once more removing his shirt, wiped at his neck, grinning and passed it to her so she could blow her nose.

  "Aaah, I can't..." She sniffed, looking apologetic.

  "Take it, it's a hot summer day... keep it." He winked, tossed it to her and headed for his SUV, leaving her for that moment - to absorb that, until the next time.

  That day, and many others were constant on Crystal's mind. Now that she thought she was pregnant, she'd backed up from the drinking and smoking weed. Shawn, her mother - no one went on and on about her returning to Victor - they all accepted it and left her alone about it. If she needed to talk, they gave an ear, but not an opinion - no advice - all the advice they could have given, had been given - they knew - that she knew what they felt - there was no sense in saying anymore.

  Because she wasn't drinking anymore, wasn't smoking, and simply put, wasn't feeling well - she'd spurned any more of Victor's advancements.

  The way he saw it, she was more than likely pregnant again and so, knew to leave her alone until she was feeling better - past this very early stage. Because he was leaving her alone, her thoughts went to Ben. She couldn't help that. She'd tried, and it just wasn't working, just about every moment of her waking day, was spent thinking about him, Ben; or about school coming up. About the boys, about Ben. About the meetings, about Ben. Hearing Spanish music, she thought about Ben. The sound of laughter, made her think about Ben, because he had been, her laughter. And the moment she looked at Victor, she thought about Ben. He now, was suddenly becoming, her everything, and she didn't know how much longer she could go on without hearing his voice, speaking to her. Seeing his eyes, look at her the way she needed them to. Feeling the strong sure touch of his hand on her, having his body close to hers. His words of encouragement, love and kindness - believing in her, what she felt, listening to know her, as if nothing in the world meant more to him; she needed that. His laughter, his flirting eyes, his witty words - more than equipped to meet her dares - he - something about him, made her feel - like a woman - she never knew what that meant, or felt like, until Ben. Now the song, that Aretha Franklin sang, had a meaning in her world; at one time, she'd been too young to get it - even with Victor, she hadn't reflected on the song - to get it. But Ben, he was the one, that made you think of the song - and she got it, she got it.

  The wedding - the reception - he would be there. And then, he would have to talk to her, he would have to look at her, because she wouldn't accept anything less. She projected forward to that event, imagining in her minds eye how it might go, and suddenly, in her own daydream, he rejected her - cut her as if she'd never existed. The thought - made her stomach feel even worse, if he rejected her - she didn't know what she would do.

  Crystal sighed, waiting, deep in thought.

  The wedding was in three more days. She couldn't help but wonder, what would that night bring her, when she saw his face again? She hadn't seen him in over a week now - just a bit off 7 days, neither had he sent her anymore text; yet - it felt as if a lifetime had passed. She heard a door open and turned looking to see if it were Victor. He was at one of his follow up appointments and asked her to come along. There had been no reason not to - even though, he didn't want her going in with him. No matter; she pulled her eyes from peering out the big picture window at the doctors office and went back to trying to read a book where all the words seemed to be nothing more than black smudges, once more, her mind drifted to thoughts of Ben, while inside the doctors office - Victor stood getting dressed after his examination, answering various questions as the doctor went down the list - making sure all of his body functions were normal.

  The reflexes of his elbows and knees were normal.

  His eyes, their focus.

  The surface of his skin, was sensitive to the touch except where he was scarred by the surgery - some areas seemed a bit numb, the physician considered that to be normal considering the time period since the event. That too may return to normal, all depended on how well his nerve endings mended up.

  "What about your other body functions, any change when passing a stool?"

  "No, same."

  "Urinating? Same?"

  Victor sat a moment thinking about it, "Not exactly the same - it feels a bit different."

  "How so?"

  "I have to stand there a bit, it's a strain at times, like - I can't go, but I know I have to."

  "How long has this been going on?"

  "Been that way for a while, after - the accident."

  "And uh, sex? That the same, or different?"

  "Em, bit different."

  "How?"

  "Takes me longer, and when I do - it doesn't - ummm, feel like - well, as powerful, not as much as it used to be, know what I mean?"

  The doctor nodded, making notes, "Pleasure -or- pain?"

  "Both - pleasure and then, I'm a bit weary at the end, because the back of my head tightens up, painful - like a cramp in the back of my skull - weird - doesn't always happen, just now and then, takes me by surprise."

  The doctor made note of that, wrote out a few reception desk instructions for him to drop off and get directions for, and bid him good day and he'd see him on his next follow up appointment.

  When he stepped out, he looked towards Crystal to see that she was reading, "Ready to go..." He called for her attention.

  She looked up, smiled; she had to remember to do that, or he'd be asking her if anything was wrong, no way to say, EVERYTHING. She closed the book, stood and met up with him as they made their way to the receptionist that made another appointment for him and gave him a test kit.

  "What's this for?" Victor asked looking at it.

  "He needs a sperm sample - given on the same day as your appointment." She explained with a smile.

  Crystal looked at the kit, at him and shook her head, "I can tell you now, you don't need that test."

  That made him smile, felt pretty good to hear her brag that, he looked back at the receptionist smiling, "I think she's right."

  "Even so, take it - and on that day, bring in a fresh sample, that will beee, 5 weeks from now when we have the next available appointment." She wrote it out on an appointment slip and passed it to him. They turned and left, climbing in the car.

  "Now what? You hungry?" Victor asked.

  "No, we better get home, you have to work tonight."

  "You still feeling, you know - kinda sick? It's been a few days now, wouldn't mind, you taking care of me, before I went to sleep, definitely will help me sleep."

  "You kidding me, the way I feel?" She lied, in truth, she wasn't feeling all that ill anymore, but she wouldn't tell him that, "That's the last thing on my mind, I'm always on the verge of puking."

  "Maybe, if you had a little drink, it might settle your stomach, put you in the mood?" He offered.

  "Under the circumstances, I don't think that's such a good idea, having an alcoholic baby, is not at the top of my list of things to do."

  "That's a bit of an exaggeration I think."

  "Regardless, no - I don't feel like it."

  He nodded, started the car, pulled out of the lot and headed home, neither of them saying much. He'd been driving for five minutes when, "What are you gonna do today?" He finally asked.

  "It's Wednesday..."

  "Yeah?"

  "Well, that's mine and Angela's day - she looks forward to that."

  "Oh, so you feel okay enough to pick her up and spend time doing whatever - but I ask for a little affection, some attention before I go to bed, and you don't feel good. Nice, I see who comes first with you." He complained.

  Crystal sat, staring out o
f her window, unwilling to say a word to him about it.

  "Is that it?" he asked.

  "According to you, it is - far-beit from me to argue about it."

  "I swear to God man, you've changed so freakin' much - you're nothing like you used to be Crystal, nothing at all. Before, you were hot and then cold, but always more hot than cold. Now, you're just - lukewarm at best. Like, you can't be bothered to be hot or cold - like, you just don't give a damn. Like, you don't love me - you say the words, but - the rest of it, doesn't fit."

  She kept her silence, neither agreeing or disagreeing.

  "Anything to say?"

  "No..."

  "Great, well - I hope it's just because you're pregnant - because, if you're gonna be like this all the time, it's gonna be hell for both of us."

  "How? I'm not arguing with you, am I?"

  "No! That's just what I mean, no fire, no - passion - you're just - like - the walking dead or something. Before, the way you were, at least, despite it all, I knew you cared, that you loved me."

  "Why? Because I begged, cried and pleaded with you anytime you weren't pleased about something? Desperate, scared you were gonna leave me? Back when I used to degraded myself for you, often - making up with you no matter how it made me look, like a begging-..."

  "Yeah, so what!? That's what you do, when you love someone, when you can't stand the thought of them leaving you."

  "Then why had you never done it with me? Back then? Not once... not - one - time! Not - one - fight! It was always me - so, I think I have my answer - don't I? According to you, it's what you do when in love!"

  "See? Do you see what we do? Why are we doing this? Why are we arguing, there's nothing to argue about."

  "Exactly; there hadn't been, I was sitting here minding my own business, trying to chill, give you straight answers, and still - you wanna fight."

  "I don't wanna fight Crystal..." He defended.

  "Then stop it, Victor! I'm here - with you, looks like I'm about to have, another baby, aren't you happy?"

  "Are you?"

  Crystal stopped, froze, stared at his profile a moment, then back out of her window, "Nobodies happy all the time - nobody. I'm just going through a thing, a stage in life - don't mind me, I'll be fine." She gentled her words; reached over and gave his arm, his thigh an affectionate squeeze, her mind already off of him, and back to Ben.

  * * *

  Chapter 301

  "Aaaah, I feel so bad for her - poor baby." Sheila's lip rolled out in sympathy for Vivian.

  "I know, I feel bad for her too, I didn't think I'd ever get passed that morning sickness - but she's got it worse. Po'baby sick almost all day with it." Sylvia added. She and Sheila were at Vivian's, helping with last minute arrangements, trying to get all close friends and family setup for Saturday's big event.

  Vivian, was in the bathroom throwing up everything she'd eaten when they'd gone out shopping. She hadn't been feeling well after eating, and not to prolong things, they'd come straight back home; after all - they got pretty much everything they'd been looking for. Buying new towels, blankets, sheets, pillows, a couple of air mattresses for just in case - and anything else they could think of when so many would be showing up to attend in case something fell through; someone lost a room, whatever might happen - especially with so many kids present, plenty of first-aid stuff and stomach meds.

  Vivian's mother, Betty; her father, Milton; sister Lacy and her son would be staying across the road in the bed & breakfast. Her other sister, Ella, hubby and sons, would be staying in the bed and breakfast apartment above the garage. Friends of Vivian from Chicago, who had worked with her at the bank, Dean and Stephanie - as well her boss, would be coming as well. Sylvia volunteered a place for Dean and Stephanie at her new home, there was plenty of room, they could stay up in Crystal's flat above the garage. As for her boss, Alec Ore - he would be getting a room at the motel right off 12/16 - they'd made sure to reserve him a room there.

  Vivian finally came out of the bathroom.

  "You okay?" Sheila asked.

  She was almost staggering, so dizzy and weak from vomiting. She made it to the table and sat with her friends. "I get a feeling this is it for me, I do not see, how any one, can do this more than once."

  "It'll pass, believe me it will - but until it does, you feel like shit." Sylvia offered.

  "I've felt like shit before, it didn't feel anything like this." Vivian joked, trying to keep herself up, despite her body putting her through hell.

  "Em hm, that's why you not supposed to be so damn skinny; get pregnant, you got nothing to lose!" Sheila imparted, making them both laugh, and continued on with, "You best get your strength up, got all these people showing up!"

  "I know..." She murmured, "...oh, by the way - Sylvia - Dean - did I mention to you, that he's gay?"

  "Huh?" Sylvia's eyes got wide.

  "Oh, I guess I didn't then, is that gone be okay?"

  "For me? Yes, but for Shawn ... I'm not too sure. To be honest, I'm not certain how he'll react, but hey - he lived in California all them years, I'm sure he knew somebody gay!"

  "California? Hell yeah!" Sheila nodded, face quirked silly with a, "For'sho" look on it.

  The more Sylvia thought about it, the sillier she felt about it, laughing and shaking her head, elbow on the table, she rubbed a hand across her eyes, "Oooh Vivian, he's gay - oh my goodness. Should I tell Shawn, or should we just wait and see how he reacts?"

  "NO!" Both Vivian and Sheila shouted at once, sending Sylvia deeper into laughter.

  "He's not gonna do nothing, at the worst, he just might not like it."

  "Girl, please! If there is any one of these men, who is homophobic, it will be Shawn!" Vivian put out, sure of it based on what she'd seen of him so far.

  "Nooo, he'ah be all right." Sylvia defended, still laughing.

  "Sylvia! Stop playing! Tell - him - that Dean - is gay!" Vivian asserted.

  "Well, how gay is he?" Sheila asked.

  "As gay, as gay can get." Vivian assured them both, sending Sylvia into squeals of deeper laughter, "Gurl, I'm telling you, he got the walk, the talk, the head thing, snapping his fingers, rolling his eyes, butt stuck up and out like he can't wait to give it up! And love him some men!"

  Sylvia was slapping the table in uncontrollable hilarity, "Oh no, I ain't tellin' him - can you imagine, the look on Shawn's face the first time he see's him?"

  Vivian ended up chuckling and added, "All right?" She predicted, "...he might like Shawn too - he like big strong, brawny, masculine looking men; you laughing now, but he might be after your man." Vivian grinned, warning.

  "Chile look, if he can take Shawn from me? He can have his ass, okay? But as for Shawn, I ain't worried about that. Ohhh girl, Bart!"

  All three threw their arms in the air and screamed out, "Jesus Jr.!" Then rolled laughing until tears were all down their faces.

  Coming down from the laughter, Vivian got worried, "Lord, we sitting here laughing, now you know Sylvia, Bart is not gone handle that well, oh man, what am I gone do? You think he's ever seen a gay man, or a gay anything before?"

  "Girl, probably not! He stay on that farm most of the time, don't he?"

  "Oh man, he my friend too; Bart has always liked me, oh boy... he gone be looking at me funny now."

  "Why? You ain't gay!" Sheila blurted, high on being in the circle of her best friends.

  "Sheila, Bart is like - biblically straight -..."

  "Don't matter, he got skeletons in his closet, you better believe it's so - white folks from back in the day, always got something to hide, you best believe it. Sides, he ain't moving here, he just gone be at the wedding."

  Sylvia was waving her hand in the hair, "Ohhh chile, you betta' talk to him." Sylvia sniffed, trying to get serious, "Tell him, for this weekend, and this one only, he best come here straight! As straight as they come."

  Vivian dropped her head in her hand shaking it, "Dean ain't even gone be trying to hear that."

  "H
as Jake met him?" Sheila asked.

  She looked up, grinning, "Jake thinks he's funny - accidentally turned his butt on too, I know he did. Now you know, the way he is, he would love for Dean to come here as gay as ever, before his father, anything to jab at, Bart - I swear, he need to chill from doing stuff like that, but he can't help himself, I'm telling you, the man gotta devil in him." Vivian sighed.

  "And you my sista' are the sacrifice!" Sylvia pointed out, seriously.

  "Don't start!" Vivian wanted to cut it off right away.

  "I'm just saying, it ain't too late!" Sylvia warned again.

  "Sylvia, I am marrying, Jacob Patrick McPherson, this weekend, come hell, or high water."

  "I'm sure there will be, hell and high water."

  "Would you stop!"

  "I can't help it, I love you so much, I want you to be happy."

  "Look at me, don't I look happy? Look at my home - I know I fought it at first, but I love it here, and I love that man."

  Sylvia sighed, what could she say? She'd been there, had her own doubts, but still went through with it. Why shouldn't Vivian? After all, her home, this amazing Victorian diamond, stood out like something out of a Dickens novel. To say it was breath-taking, beautiful - was putting it mildly. A better word, would be, Vivian's patch of paradise. In truth, as much as her new home had cost, Sylvia preferred Vivian's home. It was filled with character, history, distinction; built and enhanced with wonderful rich wood and antiques, gracing it's presence were stunning flowers inside and outside. Jake's hard work, had completely transformed it, the land, everything from the moment you turned off the road onto their land, or strolled up to it, was like walking onto a set for a Victorian garden. Despite their past, and the things she had against him, one thing that could not be disputed, he had taste! He had an eye for what stood out and made you gasp. It stood as a show, that Jake did nothing, halfway. He'd spent a great deal of time and money in making her home perfect for her, along with his son's help. They'd hit every greenhouse in Wisconsin, looking for mature trees and flowering beds to layout the landscaping. It amazed Sylvia, how intuitive he was for making things just so.