Justin

by Diana Palmer

  “Señora!” Maria exclaimed helplessly.

  “I’m only going away for a couple of days,” Shelby said, faltering. “Abby knows where I’ll be. You mustn’t tell Justin. Promise me!”

  Maria grimaced, but she finally agreed. She watched Shelby climb into the cab and drive away. She’d promised not to tell Justin. She hadn’t promised not to call Abby. She picked up the phone and quickly dialed Abby’s number.

  Justin was on the telephone when Abby came into his office, dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt, her hair uncombed and no makeup on. She closed the door and sat down in the visitor’s chair, watching the expressions that crossed her former guardian’s face as he abruptly ended the telephone conversation and hung up.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, because she looked worried.

  “Everything!” she muttered, frowning. “I was half asleep when Maria called. Shelby made her promise not to call you, so she called me instead. I’ve broken speed records getting here. And now that I have—” she sighed “—I don’t know how to say this to you.”

  He’d stiffened at the mention of Shelby’s name. He’d had a premonition about her. He knew how badly he’d hurt her, and she’d mentioned last night that she couldn’t take any more.

  “She’s left me, hasn’t she, Abby?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes, she has. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

  He lit a cigarette with steady hands while his world collapsed around his ears. He stared at the desk. “I’m going to let her go,” he said after a minute. “I’ve hurt her enough.”

  Abby’s breath stuck in her throat. “Justin!”

  He looked up, the pain in his eyes making them even blacker. “You don’t know how I’ve treated her,” he said. “I was jealous and scared to death of losing her…” He broke off to run his hand roughly through his hair. “What have I got to offer her? How do I keep her?”

  “You might try telling her that you love her,” Abby said simply. “That’s all she ever wanted.”

  His jaw clenched. “She wouldn’t listen, after last night.”

  “You saw Barry Holman and Tammy, didn’t you?” Abby asked.

  He stared at her blankly. “Yes.”

  “And instead of telling Shelby, and letting her explain, you went off the deep end.”

  He smiled faintly. “Bingo.”

  “Oh, Justin.” She shook her head. “She’s on her way to Houston.”

  “Maybe she’ll find someone there who can give her what she needs,” he said, feeling bitter that he’d ruined all his chances.

  Abby was getting nowhere and if Justin didn’t go after Shelby, things were going to fall apart. She bit her lower lip. She didn’t want to steal Shelby’s thunder, but Justin was being difficult.

  “Justin…how do you feel about babies?” she asked.

  He was only half listening, his heart lying like lead in his chest. “I like babies,” he said absently.

  “Good. Then why don’t you go after Shelby and get yours back?”

  At first Abby didn’t think he’d heard her. His eyes swung around and he stared at her. “I beg your pardon?” he asked.

  “I said, Shelby’s pregnant. If you really want a baby, you’d better get to the airport before she carries yours off to Houston with her.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” he exploded.

  “Now, Justin…!”

  But he was on his feet and the chair was on the floor. He grabbed onto the desk for support. His eyes were wild and there was a tremor in the lean hand holding his cigarette. “A baby? Shelby’s pregnant, and she didn’t tell me?”

  Abby was uncertain about what to do, so she rushed out of the office and found Calhoun.

  “Come on.” She pulled at his big hand. “I need you.”

  He grinned. “Now, honey, this isn’t the place…”

  “Justin’s in shock.”

  That wiped the smile off his face. He followed her into Justin’s office. The older man was right where Abby had left him, still white in the face and looking as if he’d been stabbed.

  “You need to take him to the airport,” Abby instructed.

  “Airport, hell, he needs a doctor. What did you do to him?” he asked in a half whisper.

  “I told him Shelby was pregnant.”

  Calhoun whistled through his teeth.

  “And that she was on her way to Houston.”

  “I can drive,” Justin said unsteadily. He started toward the door, but his eyes were dilated and his hand shook as he tried to put out the cigarette, knocking the glowing tip onto the desk.

  Calhoun got it into the ashtray and took his brother firmly by the arm. “Don’t you worry, big brother, I’ll get you there on time.” He glanced at Abby. “Which terminal?”

  She grimaced. “Jacobsville airport only has one terminal.”

  “You’re a big help,” Calhoun muttered. “Anyway, I think there are only a couple of flights to Houston during off-peak hours.”

  “She’s pregnant,” Justin said huskily. “She didn’t tell me. She knew and she couldn’t tell me. It’s all my fault. I failed her.”

  “Everything will be all right,” Abby said reassuringly.

  “God, I hope so.” Justin glanced at her. “Thanks, honey.”

  “Don’t tell Shelby I told you,” Abby returned. “It’s her place to tell you, but I was afraid you’d let her go if I didn’t.”

  He only nodded, and finally he moved away from Calhoun and went out the door. But he didn’t argue when Calhoun gestured toward the Jaguar and got in under the wheel.

  “What if the plane’s already gone?” Justin asked, smoking like a furnace all the way to the airport.

  “Then we’ll get you a ticket to Houston.” He grinned. “I’m going to be an uncle. Imagine that.” He glanced at his taciturn brother. “And here I thought you and Shelby were living chastely.”

  “Shut up,” Justin said, hiding embarrassment in bad temper.

  “Whatever you say, big brother.” He whistled to himself as he swung the car onto the highway and gunned the accelerator.

  They reached the airport in record time. Justin was out the door almost before Calhoun stopped the car, half running to get into the terminal. They found the flight to Houston and Justin went to the ticket counter only to be told that the plane was scheduled to take off in less than five minutes.

  Justin outdistanced Calhoun on his way to the concourse, his eyes fixed on the distant gate, his heart bursting with fear that she was going to get away before he got there. He broke into a run as the gate numbers got bigger, determined to make it in time.

  Only another minute, he told himself, and he’d have her in sight. Then he could talk to her, he could make her understand how much he loved her.

  He pushed past a group of departing passengers from the concourse and made it to the empty ticket counter just in time to watch the clerk pull down the Houston sign and replace it with one for another city.

  “The Houston flight,” Justin asked curtly. “Where is it?”

  “It left about two minutes ago,” the clerk said pleasantly. “It’s taxiing out to the runway now.”

  Justin felt his heart stop. He moved around the desk to the window and looked out. Planes were taking off, and one of them had Shelby on it. Shelby and his baby.

  He stood there, frozen, his heart shattering. It was his own fault. He’d driven her to this. But he didn’t know how in hell he was going to live with it. He could only imagine the anguish that had caused her to run away.

  Calhoun touched his shoulder gently. “How about something to eat? Then we’ll get you a seat on the next plane.”

  “I don’t even know where to look for her, do you realize that?” he asked huskily. “My G
od, Cal, I don’t know where she’s gone!”

  “It will be all right,” Calhoun said firmly. “We’ll find her. I swear we will.”

  Justin turned away from the window. “Food be damned, I want a drink.” He strode off toward the flashing Restaurant and Lounge sign down the concourse.

  Calhoun followed, wondering how he was going to keep his big brother sober after his devastating letdown. Justin was shattered and Calhoun didn’t quite know what to do for him. He’d said that they’d find Shelby, but he had no better idea of how to go about it than Justin did. It wasn’t going to be easy to find one lone pregnant woman in a city the size of Houston. Especially if she didn’t want to be found.

  He stood out in the corridor, watching Justin go into the lounge and sit at a window table. He gave the waitress an order, and Calhoun sighed heavily. Well, maybe it would be a good idea if he went to the ticket desk and found out when the next plane left for Houston so he could get Justin a seat.

  He was on his way down the concourse when a familiar face caught his eye. He stopped in the middle of the aisle and stared. He wasn’t dreaming. That gray-clad woman with the small suitcase was Shelby, and she was coming straight toward him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Shelby felt the ground shake under her at the sight of Calhoun barring her path. She’d been certain Maria wouldn’t say anything, but now she wasn’t sure. Unless, of course, Calhoun was here to meet a client.

  “Uh, hi, Calhoun,” she said with a shaky smile.

  He sighed. “Hi, yourself, Shelby.” He noted the small suitcase she was carrying. “Going somewhere?”

  She shifted restlessly. “Yes,” she murmured. She stared at his suit instead of his face. “I’m leaving your brother.”

  “I know. Maria called Abby. Justin knows, too.”

  Shelby felt her face going pale, but a quick look around didn’t produce Justin, and she sighed with relief. “He isn’t with you, then?”

  He took her arm gently. “I think it might help things along if you had a look at him. Come on, now, he won’t bite.”

  “That’s what you think,” she muttered. “Where is he?”

  “In there.” He pulled her just inside the lounge entrance and nodded toward the corner, where Justin sat bareheaded and stooped with a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass in front of him. He was staring at the bottle obliviously while a forgotten cigarette sent up spirals of smoke from his free hand.

  Shelby frowned. Justin didn’t drink, as a rule. She remembered Abby saying something about him getting drunk the night of the square dance, but she knew it was a rare thing for him. He liked to be in control all the time. He didn’t like having his mind fogged.

  “What’s he doing?” Shelby asked.

  “Getting drunk, I imagine.” Calhoun took the suitcase from her and looked down at her pale, fragile features. “Now, Shelby, would you say that he looks like a happy man?”

  She grimaced. “No.”

  “Does he look like a man who’s overjoyed that his wife has gone off and left him?”

  She shook her head. In fact, he looked exactly the opposite. He looked defeated. Her pale green eyes ran over him lovingly, a soft sadness in their depths.

  “I had to drive him here because he was shaking too bad to handle a car,” he said quietly, nodding at her shocked expression. “He won’t like remembering that, and when he’s back together, I’m going to catch hell for having seen him in this condition. But I wanted you to know just how upset he is. That man loves you, honey. For years, you’ve been the only star in his sky. He’s been alone all that time, and despite the fact that he’s given you hell, I know he’d die for you. If you don’t love him, the kindest thing you can do is to get out. But if you care about him, don’t run away. Get in there and talk to him.”

  “I love him,” she said simply. “But he believes bad things about me. He won’t listen…”

  “If you tell him how you feel, he’ll listen. Believe it.”

  She looked up at him, weakening. “It’s so hard…”

  “Isn’t life?” He bent and kissed her cheek gently. “Go on. Get it over. I’ll sit in the concourse over there and look like a passenger and drink coffee. I’ll look after your suitcase, too.”

  She smiled softly. “Thanks, Calhoun.”

  “My pleasure. Now go on.”

  She hesitated, but only for a minute. Calhoun was right. She was going to have to face Justin.

  She walked nervously toward the table where he was sitting. As she got closer, she could see the paleness of his skin, the new lines that cut into his face.

  “Justin?” she said hesitantly when she reached him.

  He glanced up. Something flashed in his eyes as they went over her, tracing her body reverently. “You aren’t here,” he said quietly. “You left.”

  She bit her lip. He sounded as if he was talking to a ghost. “Not yet,” she said gently. She eased into the chair beside his and stared at his lean hands. “I’m sorry to just run out like that. But I’d had all I could take.”

  “I know that,” he said, his voice soft, tender. “I’m not blaming you. I never gave you a chance.” He lifted the shot glass to his lips, but her fingers touched the back of his hand, coaxing him to put it down. He laughed hollowly. “I hate liquor, did I ever tell you? But it isn’t every day a man loses everything he loves.”

  Tears moistened her eyes. She caught his hand and held it in both of hers, her face lifted, her expression open, loving. “You never said that you loved me, Justin,” she whispered. “But I never stopped loving you. I never will. All I ever wanted was you.”

  His fingers contracted convulsively around hers. His black eyes glittered over his face. “Didn’t you know, even without the words?” He breathed roughly. “My God, I’d have walked through fire if you’d asked me to. You were my world. I loved you…”

  Her head nuzzled against his shoulder and she hated the crowded room, because she wanted nothing more in life than to throw her arms around him and hold him and kiss him and tell him all the things she’d never said before.

  His arm went around her, holding her, and he drew in a shaky breath. “My God,” he whispered at her forehead. “I thought you married me because you were alone and frightened.”

  “And I thought you married me because you felt sorry for me,” she replied, letting the tears run freely down her face. “And all along, I loved you so.”

  His lean fingers brushed away the tears. He searched her misty eyes. “We’ve got to get out of here,” he whispered. “I have to make you understand what I feel. I can’t lose you now. Oh, God, Shelby, I’ll die without you,” he said huskily, and it was in his eyes, blazing out of them like black fire.

  The tears came again. She got up, taking his hand. He went with her, holding her against him, even while he settled the tab, as if he couldn’t bear to release her even that long.

  Calhoun saw them come out of the lounge. He grinned knowingly and picked up Shelby’s suitcase. “I’ll drop you two off at the house,” he offered. “Then I’ve got a meeting to get to.”

  They barely heard him. Justin looked completely oblivious, and Shelby was so close to him that she seemed a part of him.

  He put them in the backseat and drove off, smiling smugly at his role in this reunion. Not that they seemed to notice him. They were too busy looking at each other.

  He let them out at the front steps of the Ballenger house, setting the bag on the steps beside them. “I phoned Abby while you two were in the lounge. She said how about coming over to our place for supper? Maria’s going to her sister’s tonight, and Shelby sure isn’t up to cooking.”

  “That would be nice,” Justin said quietly. He clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

  “You’d do the same for me,” Calhoun replied. He grinned
. “In fact, you did, or have you already forgotten? See you at six. Goodbye, Shelby.”

  “Thanks, Calhoun,” she said, smiling at him.

  Justin picked up the suitcase and helped her into the house. Maria came running, a stream of Spanish echoing from her lips. Justin abruptly swung her up by the waist and planted a heartfelt kiss on her tanned cheek. She giggled when he put her down.

  “Señor!” she chided. She was dressed up. “Lopez and I are leaving now, but I had to wait and make sure everything was all right. Señor, what about a meal this evening?”

  “Calhoun’s invited us over to eat with him and Abby,” Shelby told her, and hugged her. “Thank you for calling Abby. I’ll never forget what you did for us.”

  Maria grinned. “You would have found a way, señora.” She laughed. “I only helped a little bit. Lopez and I must hurry. We will be back tomorrow, señor. I will cook you a magnificent breakfast!”

  “We’ll look forward to that. Godspeed.”

  Maria smiled and went down the hall into the kitchen, where Lopez was waiting.

  Justin led Shelby into the living room, where Maria had a tray of coffee and small cakes waiting for them. After she sat down, he poured the coffee. But before he handed her the cup, he bent and kissed her with exquisite tenderness.

  “I love you,” he whispered softly, searching her eyes. “I always did, even if I couldn’t find the right way to tell you.”

  She kissed him back. “That was all you ever had to say,” she replied. “I loved you, too, Justin. But you never seemed to believe that I could.”

  He gave her coffee to her and sat down close beside her to sip his. “I was a poor man in those days, and I’ve never been much to look at,” he confessed. “You came from a wealthy background, you were beautiful and pursued.” He laughed. “I never felt like serious competition for men like Wheelor.”

  “Money and looks never counted for much with me,” she said firmly. “You had qualities much more important.” Her eyes searched his quietly. “But the important thing was that I loved you,” she said. “Love doesn’t depend on surface things or possessions.”