The Complete Trilogy by Zi'ere: The Trilogy Completed

by Zi'ere

  No matter how much that I perplex my mind, I can’t come up with a legit reason that Pain needs to see me so badly tonight. Whatever it is, our little bargain for him not to call me for the next month is definitely worth it. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

  When I pull up to his house, I can’t park in the driveway because his totaled out truck is sitting in an odd angle on the concrete. The truck has damage to the front end and also the driver’s side. My heart drops. Pain has been in an accident. That is the reason that he sounded so weak on the phone. I all but run into his arms when he first opens up the front door.

  “Where is your purse?”

  “It’s in the truck.”

  “Get it out and lock up.”

  I stand on the porch looking at him for what seems like thirty minutes. If it is unsafe for me to be at his home, we can do this meet and greet at Starbucks! Nonetheless, I return to my truck and get my valuables.

  “I hope you that you didn’t call me over here for me to go to jail tonight!”

  “Nah, it ain’t nothing like that. It’s just this isn’t the area of town that you just came from, you feel me?”

  “Well, living your wage is the name of the game . . . You know.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. He has to know that I’m aware of him not even making a third now of what he has been pulling in for years.

  “Have a seat.”

  I claim one end of the couch and he claims the other.

  “Why are you limping Pain?”

  “Well as you can see, I had an accident.”

  “Obviously.”

  Without answering me, he lowers his head in my direction. That’s when I see it. There is a split in the top of his head that trails down to the back and it’s held together by staples.

  “WHAT THE FUCK PAIN! WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?”

  “You’ve got to promise that you are not gone wild out!”

  “PAIN!”

  “I was in the club, right. So Tiff said that she needed a ride home and we both know what that means. Well, after the night progressed and I got her all drunk and shit- she decides to skate out on me. It’s the same dude that she swears she isn’t messing with any more, grabbing her ass while they walked to his car.

  I don’t know what happened…like the next thing that I know, I had the truck inside of dude car. He got out of the car swinging and shit and so did I. He busts me in the head with a beer bottle.

  I’ve been in the emergency room all night and half of the day with the police department. You know that I ain’t had a driver’s license in…anyways, that’s what I’ve been dealing with since you dropped my ass like a hot potato!’

  “Whoa-whoa-whoa! Slow this damn horse down! So you’re trying to blame all this bullshit on me because you’re still doing the same thing in 2014 that you were doing in 1994?”

  I feel sorry for him but he has me fucked up.

  “No, not saying that. I’m just saying that I don’t have to go through none of this with you!”

  I roll my eyes.

  “I swear now is not the time for this, Pain. Because all of this that is going on now . . . Shit . . . It could have been me cut up! You’ve got to decide if this female is worth you losing your life. I can’t do that for you. You’ve left me too many times to count, in order to run right back to her. But the minute that shit goes wrong…Then who do you call?”

  He doesn’t respond. He hangs his head. Faking ass is probably trying to produce tears. I can see the tell-tale signs that he is no doubt high off of pain medication because he is now scratching the tip of his nose.

  “I’m sorry that this happened to you, I really am Pain.”

  “I appreciate you coming to see me. That means a lot to me.”

  I look around his living room. The house is neatly arranged and I know that he has nothing to do with that part.

  “Have you had dinner yet? Is there anything that I can do for you since I’m here?”

  “No I haven’t eaten yet and I’m starving too.”

  “Okay, so what you want to eat?”

  “Seafood.”

  “You want a seafood platter from Landry’s?”

  “You already know what to do, Babe.”

  I cut my eyes at him for calling me ‘Babe.’ But I still pull out my cell phone and place a to-go order.

  “Are you going to stay and eat with me?”

  “Nah, I can’t do that.”

  I don’t make eye contact with him because I can’t.

  He has no idea how much that I am violating at the moment but then again, when does Pain ever think how my life will be affected by the things that he does. I know that he needs me. He needs me but in return all that he has to offer is the space to let me do all of the work. Those days are over and I need to let him know that as soon as possible.

  There are life changing events happening present day, which he knows nothing about. The next time his life is threatened, it will not be a hit and miss. He needs to know that he does not have nine lives. Our actions are going to be judged by a street jury in open court. I am now wishing that I had stayed my ass in the house like my second mind told me too.

  94

  No matter what Pain has going on in his soap opera lifestyle, another man has my heart and is holding it hostage already. I want my man back. Me playing nice Nancy with Pain can put an even bigger wedge between Broderick and I. Pain could be in a coffin and I will still feel the same way.

  He’s gotten all of the things that come along with a dedicated wife and mate. I gave him everything that I had, even though he didn’t always deserve it. Broderick deserves me, my attention, and my honesty. I have to decide in this moment. I will go and get his food but I will leave my car running, I’m not going to come back in the house to keep his wounded ass company too.

  There is nothing that he can do about it either. He’s promised that he won’t call me for a month. Even if he doesn’t keep the promise, I know that he is on the injured and reserved list. I have nursed him back to health once and as soon as he’d gotten half way healthy, he started living foul. Fool me once then shame on me, fool me twice: Then you are a damn idiot, Kam.

  I’m not having it!

  For the following weeks, I am a friend to Pain. I take him to have the staples removed. I arrange the delivery of a new truck. I pay all of his fines and tickets, so that he can finally get a legal driver’s license.

  I pick up his prescriptions and I make sure that he has three meals and snacks every day. Long and short, taking care of the things that Pain needs and wants, I have no time to work on focusing on getting my own life back.

  As soon as I see a hint of independence on Pain’s part, I am ready to slide off to exit stage left. After I have gone shopping to fill up his fridge, I kiss him on the cheek, pick up my purse, keys, and I chunk up the deuce fingers on my way out.

  I am on the porch when shit gets real. On my way down the steps, Tiff the Ratchet Award 1st Place Winner is making her way up them. She knows better than to do anything physical but her mouth needs an adjustment.

  “Is there that much of a shortage of men in Chandler that you’ve always got to sniff up behind mines?”

  “Girl, I promise you that today ain’t the fucking day to go there with me!”

  “Tip, you are in violation of two different protection orders and a no contact order. I swear, you will have your ass sitting in lock up at Fendi today, with nobody to come and bail your ass out!”

  “You kill me, how you stay acting in front of her and how you act when she isn’t anywhere around! Ole some timing ass!”

  “I knew that there was something mentally wrong with your ass! If a man is some timing, then that means that he ain’t studying your ass for real! Duh, damn!

  “Definitely not sweating her ass for real!”

  Pain adds his two cents into the mix.

  “The fact that he as a no contact order on your ass tells me and the world all that I need to know!”
<
br />   I take my cell phone from my hip.

  “Alright, I’m leaving. I’m gone. Don’t call me to come back when she leaves your black ass again!”

  She flips him off, as she prances on back to her car.

  I stand on the side walk, watching him standing on the porch, only half of the man that I had originally thought that he was. He is a rolling stone. He loves women. As long as the wood can still arise to the occasion, he will keep a flock of pigeons behind him. It goes way farther than Tip or Sanye too.

  Looking through his phone whenever he isn’t looking, also led me to know about April, Courtney, Drea, Kim, Chelle, Mona, Tish, Peaches, and a female saved in the phone under the contact name Nett. All with incoming and outgoing calls, all hours of the day and night. Text messages back and forth at random.

  How the man is able to even keep his eyelids open during the day is totally lost on me. It seems to me that all he does is entertain females, while he has me running all over town taking care of him. Some he lies to, some he is gutta and raw with his shit, and others he runs game on.

  The chick named Nett has to be an old bird because all that they talk about is the food that she’d cooks and brings to him. In return, Pain has been laying the pipe on her. Watching Tip drive away in her foreign automobile, I can’t help but wonder if she knows all that I am doing for her children’s father.

  I wonder if once upon a time if she accepted this life and what Pain is like and if she would rather be on his long list of women or off the list completely. When it comes to me, I am erasing myself off of the list altogether. There is no way that I can know without a doubt that my man is a whore and just be cool with the setup.

  Fuck a list! I ain’t neva that damn desperate trick! There are real men in Chandler and Pain ain’t even on that list. Damn, I was a fool when I thought he made the damn list.

  “There is something really important that I need to tell you before anyone beats me to it, trying to hurt your feelings.”

  “Ok, I’m all ears.”

  “Pain, I’m pregnant.”

  “Woooorrrddd?”

  I nod my head.

  “Hold up, it’s been a minute since you let a brother lay in that, so I know that it’s not mine!” He has an attitude.

  95

  Damn . . . How in the hell did I get to be in a position to deal with all of these sensitive ass grown folks!? Hell I’m the one that’s pregnant! My emotions are supposed to be a wreck, what the hell?”

  “No, it’s not yours. Like I said, I didn’t want for someone else to tell you the news.”

  I make a move to get to my car.

  “So you just gone drop a bomb on me and then walk the fuck off from me?”

  “Yeah, I learned how to do that from the best! Please tell me that you realize how much you do the same shit right now?”

  He speed walks to keep up with me.

  Here we go with the bullshit.

  I have no idea what frame of mind that he is in or what his heart can handle. I have been pregnant before with a bundle of joy of our own. Losing that baby is what brought us back together. This news can have an opposite effect. I snap the lock on the pepper spray tube, which is located on my key ring.

  “So, whose baby is it?”

  “All that I am going to say is what I’ve already said. It really shouldn’t be a conversation but I know how the streets and you are. I am just being nice, that’s all.”

  “I know you don’t think it’s going down that easy, Kam!”

  He grabs my forearm.

  Before I know it I, am pinned against the passenger side door in his tight grip. One hand still holds my arm and his manly forearm is now against my throat. Images of the rape flash in my mind.

  “You’re my muthafucking wife! You don’t get to carry another mufu’s child!”

  Hearing my baby’s heart beat the last time that I was in the doctor’s office rings out in my ears.

  “Let me go! What kind of man puts his hands on a pregnant woman? You are scum!”

  “Them white girl words don’t mean nothing to me! You aren’t going to have a baby unless its mines, I told you that from day one!”

  He speaks in a low tone.

  If ever there is a time for people to be out in the hood, the streets are empty. I realize that I am in trouble when he begins to lean harder on his forearm against my throat. With my free hand, I spray his eyes for as long as I can. That is until he takes his hands off of me in order to rub his eyes.

  The next second I am behind the wheel with the doors locked. He has now rough housed a pregnant woman, whom he knows has a history of miscarriage. The man only gives a fuck about himself. He damn sure doesn’t give a damn about me or all that I’ve done to help him. I am so angry that I can’t even cry.

  I pull over into a Wal-Mart parking lot in order to get myself together. It is hard to miss the visible red turning blue mark from the imprint of his hand, on my arm and neck area. If my child’s father sees my arm, Pain’s funeral will be next Saturday.

  I need to go into the store but the tank top that I have on keeps me from being seen in public. I will have to go home to change first, which is a problem because I’m not coming back out once I make it home. The laziness has set in. All of the drama is cause for a nap.

  The next week there is another emergency, which only Kam can remedy is my guess. All throughout my work day, I watch the screen on all of my cell phones light up with calls back to back, while I should be paying close attention to my clients. At the end of the day, I decide to return his call on my way home.

  “Kam, I need for you to do me a favor?”

  He sounds so smooth and so right.

  “I don’t know where you’ve been but I am no longer available to do favors for you! Where are all of the females that you fuck day in and day out?”

  “If you will allow for me to come home all of that would stop. As a matter of fact, I’ve cut them all off just for the sake of you. They can’t handle us being so close.”

  I start laughing.

  “Are you drunk?”

  “Damn, you can cut a nigga.”

  “What is it that you want from me?”

  “I really need some money,” he confesses.

  My heart starts to ache. It is not like I don’t have a few bills to spare. But at the same time, Pain is using me as a crutch. Our relationship will never be over if I continue to allow him to weasel his way into my life week after week.

  But I can’t let him go without either. When I was living and barely above water from check to check, he stepped in and released stress. I am not a cold-hearted person but I refuse to be taken advantage of again.

  “How much do you need, Pain?”

  “What happened to you calling me Gavin?”

  “How much do you need, Pain?”

  “I really need like twenty thousand dollars.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah . . . Ever since ‘The Rock’ got sweet on you, I haven’t been able to work. I’m behind on everything. I don’t even have groceries in the house.”

  “Let’s get one thing straight! Your relationship with Stymy froze because he found out that you were fucking his girl, not to mention shaving off the top of his money. The shit has nothing to do with me. If anything you should be thanking me that you are even able to even make this phone call. Because you are supposed to be resting in peace right about now! So don’t get fresh with me!”

  “Yes ma’am boss lady, understood.”

  “I’m going to do you a hard fifty and you’d better not call me for shit else, no time soon!”

  “So you are still feeling me, huh?”

  I disconnect the call, without saying another word. Knowing full well that he needs to be busy instead of filling his time harassing me, I fly home to get the money from the safe. Ten minutes later, I am on the way back over to Pain’s house. I call him on the phone to come outside to my car, because he has a parking lot surrounding the small shotgun house.


  Not even knowing if he caught the money bag, I hold out the window and then I speed off like I have never been there. Pain is falling apart at the seams and it disturbs me. I decide that I can’t let him affect my heart. He is toxic to me and I have a little one to look after now. The two will never work out.

  “Can I speak to Kamille?”

  I look at the phone number again to verify that I don’t know who the caller is. I can tell that it isn’t business because my last name isn’t given.

  “This is she, who is this?”

  “This is Nett. I got your number from out of my man’s phone.”

  Even though I know the answer to my question, I have to get him and this bold heifer back.

  “Well Nett, it seems like you are having some self-esteem issues but just for the sake of conversation…who is supposed to be your man?”

  Nett laughs. “Yeah, Tip said that you had a mouth!”

  “I am sure that in the middle of the day, you don’t have much to do but I am in the middle of my work schedule. And I don’t have time for this. Please get to the part about why you are calling me about a man that you claim is yours!”

  “Just tell me what you and Pain have so much to talk about these days?”

  I know that Nett is a veteran hoe. I have to get down on her level to make her see the realness of a woman.

  “Nett is it? Let me explain some things to you. The fact that you are calling him Pain lets me know how serious he is about you. But at the end of the day when the sun sets, that really is none of my business.”

  “You….” She tried to interject me.

  I’m not having it.

  “Now since you would like to know what it is that Gavin and I have to talk about so much, ask HIM. Better yet, put your reading glasses on and see just how many times that GAVIN calls KAM. Please compare that to the ZERO number of calls that I place to him. I have divorced GAVIN, I have DROPPED his last name, and I am PREGNANT by MY man.

  Another MAN. Hear me good now. Find you something constructive to do with your time. What I do know about a bitch named Nett is that you are too old for this shit. Trust and believe the next time that you call me, I will be filing harassment charges against your old ass!”