by K E Osborn
“I guess so.” Our band being noticed because of Slayed isn’t something that sits well with me. I’d rather that Staked made it on our own merit and not off the back of our parents’ band. But I know that’s not how this is going to work. If a bunch of teenagers want to get noticed, we’ll have to use Slayed’s fame to help us take that step up the rung of the giant ladder in front of us. And, if I am honest, I’m not that happy about it.
“So do you think you’re ready to go back inside?” he asks as his fingers continuing to gently stroke my shoulder.
“I suppose. I’m not as angry, but I feel miserable and I don’t know how I can even look at Mum right now knowing how much I’ve hurt her.”
He looks at me and puts his hand under my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. “You just go in there and apologise. It’s going to suck and it’ll be hard, but I’ll hold your hand if you want me to?” He takes his hand from my chin and leans in gently kissing my forehead. “C’mon Miss Slade, let’s go make amends.”
I nod as he stands up and puts his hand out for me to take. Moving the dogs from my lap, I take his hand. He pulls me up with such strength that I lunge up off the ground and fall forward into his arms. We both crack up laughing as he holds onto me tightly. I push his shoulder and he lets me go as I start to giggle. He’s so good to me.
“Okay, but can you wrap your arm around my shoulders instead of holding my hand?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow.
“Okaaay?” he draws it out sounding a little confused.
“It’s because I don’t want them to think there’s anything going on between us. You know how protective Dad can get.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling our sides together. “And is there?” he asks quietly as we start the long walk back to the manor.
“Is there what?” I ask looking across at him.
“Is there anything going on between us?”
I scrunch my face up and laugh as I push him in the chest. “What? No way! Why would you ask that?” I say through a laugh.
He chuckles and nods. “I was just checking.”
We walk across the grass and up the path to the door of the kitchen. He opens the door for me, and now that we’re back inside the house a flash of nerves washes over me. I’m nervous as to how Mum and Dad are going to act around me now, not to mention everyone else.
“You okay? You’re tensing up,” Aston says and I relax my body, not realising I was tensing it in the first place.
“Just nervous. I’m still angry, but I feel dreadful and I don’t know which emotion will surface in there, you know? I just can’t control myself,” I say honestly and he cuddles into me tighter. As we exit the kitchen and walk into the hallway and down toward the music room I start to feel shameful about the whole situation.
“Just apologise and everything will work out,” he says and I nod as we round the hallway and get closer to the room. I can hear them all talking, but I can’t really hear anything they’re actually saying. My heart is racing in my chest, so much so I feel lightheaded and I’m pretty sure I want to hurl. My heart stops, does a double beat, then starts again as we get closer to the music room doorway. Aston stops us and looks down at me. “I’m here with you, okay?” he asks and I nod. He smiles and we walk into the room. Everyone stops and turns toward us. I fidget my hands together in front of me and bite my bottom lip looking down at the ground. I can’t gain the courage to look at anyone yet.
“Well, if it isn’t the out bursting twelvie,” Caleb says and my anger boils to the surface again.
“Shut up you piece of—”
Aston tightens his arm around my shoulders stopping me from exploding again.
I exhale and then take a deep calming breath while I finally look over at Mum. She’s looking at me and I can tell she’s been crying as she sits with Dad on one side and Anna, Aston’s Mum on the other. Aston starts to walk me over to Mum, and Dad is looking at me like he might actually be sorry as well. It’s a side I rarely see of Dad, he always thinks he’s right. But right now, looking at him, and seeing his eyes drooping and the frown on his face I can tell he’s upset.
“Annie, sweetheart, I’m so sorry… we’re so sorry we upset you. We know we should’ve been here and we were selfish,” Mum says and Dad inhales sharply.
Aston nudges me as I look at my upset mother. “Yes, you were selfish—”
“Annie!” Aston berates.
“You didn’t let me finish,” I state with a stern look. “You were selfish, but so was I. I let my anger override my common sense. I didn’t mean anything I said. I love you Mum and Dad and I’m sorry I brought up all that stuff. I was a right cow. Please know that I appreciate you both and everything you do for me and Ella. You may not have been there, but you didn’t deserve what I said and I’m truly sorry.”
Mum starts to cry and I bite my bottom lip because I never want to see her upset.
“Oh geez, Mum, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t cry,” I say rushing forward and embracing her. She hugs me back and I cuddle into her. Her hugs are the best. “Please don’t cry, Mum,” I whisper again and she leans back and pushes the brown and purple hair away from my face.
“Sweetheart, I’m crying because we let you down. We should’ve been here supporting you and for that we are very sorry. We knew how much this meant to you and therefore it means as much, if not more, to us as well. Do you think… that maybe you would like to play a song for us now?” she asks and I look at Dad.
“Really?” A wave of excitement flows through me, as Dad nods and I stand up with a new spring to my step.
Dad stands and moves across to me. “I’m sorry, Annie. This was my fault and what you said we didn’t deserve, but the anger behind it, we did. So, please let’s make it up to each other by letting us hear you and your band play?” he asks. I smile and lean up wrapping my arms around his neck and embracing him tightly. He wraps his big tattooed arms around my tiny frame and hugs me, lifting me off the ground into a bear hug. “I love you, Annie,” he says in my ear so no one else can hear. He slides me down his body and I look back up at him and nod, as Aston grabs my hand and pulls me over to our guitars. I let out a small giggle as Ella comes across with her guitar and leans in kissing me on the cheek.
“Can we get started, kids?” Caleb asks smirking at me trying to get a rise from me once again. He can really push my buttons.
“We’re not kids, Caleb. We’re teenagers. Well, me and Aston are. It’s Ella and Chad who are still the kids in this band,” I tease trying to make light of the situation.
“Shut up, Annie!” Ella and Chad both say in unison making everyone laugh. Seems the tension in the air is lifted enough for everyone to feel slightly more at ease.
I hate when I get hot-headed. It’s like something takes possession of me and I snap. I find it hard to control my inner demon. It’s something I’m going to have to work on, because seeing my mum like that, and even my dad, well it’s something I don’t ever want to repeat or see again.
Caleb counts us in and we start playing, ‘Don’t Mess With The Best’ again, and complete calm washes over me the minute I start strumming my guitar. Energy takes over engulfing me as I become one with the music. Performing my little heart out, the best I ever have, trying to impress the great rock legend himself – my dad, Colter Slade.
I lean my back into Aston’s the way we always do, leaning on each other for support and letting our energies combine into one amazing-sounding song. Of course, with a little help from Caleb, Ella and Chad. We get toward the end of the song, and I open my eyes from the music trance I’m in and look over at my parents. Dad is standing behind Mum, wrapping her in his strong arms and his chin is resting on Mum’s shoulder as he watches me intently. They’re both dancing to the music with massive grins on their faces. Which only puts me in my element more. I’m so happy right now, performing for my parents. The two people in the world I want to impress more than anything and seeing them enjoying themselv
es only makes this so much more special. It makes the past half-hour of anguish and anger, seem meaningless. Because right here and now, with my family and friends watching me rock out, I couldn’t feel any more rock solid if I tried. I feel stable. I’m myself right now and not the demon who takes possession of me. I’m standing on solid ground, and at this moment nothing can take me from my happy place.
We finish playing another set for my parents and everyone seems much happier now, they’re all smiling and laughing. My anger has eased and I feel better now that they’ve stayed and interacted with me and my band. Dad even picked up his guitar and helped me make a slight adjustment to one of the songs. Of course, he was right, it sounded much better the way he did it, but you’d expect that with all the years of experience he has over me.
Aston walks over to me as Caleb talks to me about our next rehearsal. We have to arrange certain times for rehearsals because we’re all home schooled. Dad didn’t want me and Ella to go to a mainstream or even a private school because they’re worried about the paparazzi following us and that people might try to kidnap us for extortion or some shit. But I don’t mind, it’s me, Ella and Aston, that are schooled here. Seeing as Aston’s house is five minutes down the road, it seems logical for us to all do it together. And having it here means we can go to the music room in our down time and practice.
Caleb works around us. He tutors kids from the schools in music and that’s how he makes his money, but he really doesn’t need to. Uncle Hux buys him everything, but I think because he’s nineteen he wants to feel independent and not just relying on his dad all the time.
Chad goes to a private school, but he doesn’t get hounded like the rest of us. He goes to an exclusive school for children of celebrities, where there’s a big enclosed compound. No paps can get in. I’m not sure why Dad didn’t send us there? Might be because it’s on the outskirts of London, and that’s like an hour and a half away. I guess that’s why, or it could just be that Dad and Mum are too scared to lose sight of us.
Aston nudges into my side and I smile at him and he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“So, same time tomorrow then?” I ask Caleb, and he nods and smiles, then winks at Aston, which I find a little strange. I ignore it and turn toward Aston.
“Did you see them? They were so excited, and Dad helped with that riff too. How cool was that?” I ask excitedly and he smiles and nods.
“Yeah, was awesome, but now I need to put my feet up and watch a movie or something. I’m knackered,” he replies as I look out the window and notice the sun has set.
“Okay, hang on. Daaaaad,” I call out gaining his attention.
“Yeah?”
“Can everyone stay for dinner and a movie?” I ask and he rolls his eyes and nods.
“Yeah, we’ll order pizza. Who’s staying?” Dad asks and everyone looks around and we all nod. “Okay great, seventeen pizzas coming up,” he says making me laugh and Mum roll her eyes as he picks up his phone and dials walking away from the noisy room.
“Great,” Aston says under his breath.
I look back at him and raise an eyebrow. “What?”
He smiles and looks down at my lips. “No, nothing. Thought it might’ve been nice to have dinner, just us. And Pizza? You know I hate fast food.”
I giggle and roll my eyes. “Oh, whatever, Mr. Health Freak. One slice of pizza won’t give you a beer belly now, will it?” I ask and he smirks looking down at his stomach while he lifts his shirt up to his chest showing me how toned he is.
“Why would I want to ruin this though?” he replies. I backhand him on his guts and shake my head.
“One slice won’t ruin it. Plus, it’s not that good to look at anyway. Caleb has a better six pack than you,” I tease.
He pouts and furrows his brows. “Dude, that’s just weird. He’s your cousin. You shouldn’t be looking at his six pack,” he says with a smirk.
“I don’t look at his six pack. He shoves it in my face in rehearsals when he takes his shirt off, and anyway there’s no way I would look at him like that because he’s my cousin, douchebag. So up yours for even saying that,” I joke and he grins widely.
“You love Caleb,” he teases saying it like the kids would if I went to school.
“Ewww stop! That’s gross, you freak. That would be like me saying you’re crushing on Anna—”
“What the hell? That’s disgusting, Lennox. She’s my mum,” he answers screwing up his face.
“Exactly. Family is family. So now you know what it’s like when you say shit like that. Caleb is my cousin, but he’s more like my brother, just like you,” I say and his face falls and he looks sad.
“So, you see me like a brother?”
I raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Always have. Haven’t you always seen me like a sister?” I ask and he exhales and swallows hard.
“No, more like a best friend. Definitely not a sister.”
I know there’s more meaning behind his words, but I don’t bother to ask. “Well, best friends we are Aston Soulding, and we will be forever. It’s you and me against the world, right?” I take his hand in mine and walk us out of the music room.
“Yeah… right,” he says sounding a little distant, but I ignore his sudden weirdness and follow the rest into the lounge room to start watching some television.
Eventually everyone leaves and it’s just me, Ella, Mum and Dad at home. The lounge room is covered with empty pizza boxes and soft drink bottles. I know I can’t be bothered cleaning it up, so I stand from the lounge suite stretching and yawning. It must be pretty late. We watched three movies after our concert, so I guess it’s around one or two in the morning.
“Okay, I’m off to bed,” I say and try to sneak out of the room without being roped into cleaning up.
“Yeah, me too. We can all clean this up tomorrow,” Dad says. I inwardly slump because I may have gotten out of it for now, but tomorrow I’ll have to help tidy and I have more important things to do than clean up. Like, write songs and sleep.
“Night everyone,” Ella says as she walks with me upstairs while the dogs chase us.
“Night girls. Have a good sleep and we’re so very proud of you both,” Mum calls out.
I look back down the staircase at her and smile and nod then head up toward my bedroom.
“What an awesome night, hey?” I say to Ella as she reaches her door.
“Sure was. Night sis,” she says as I open the door to my room.
“Night Elle’s bells,” I say and she rolls her eyes at her nickname.
I walk into my room and close the door. Finally, I can relax and not worry about how I need to act around people. This is my space where I can just be me. A place where I can think about things that I try hard not to think about around other people because if I do, I might get upset and show my weaker side, and I never… ever, want to do that. I want people to think I’m tough and I definitely don’t want them to see my demons. I walk over to my dresser and pull out my Slayed extra-long T-shirt and place it on the bed ready for me to get changed into. I pull my hair out of the ponytail and fluff it out with my hands. Then I take my clothes off and throw them on the edge of my bed, but they miss and fall on the floor. And, to be honest, just like any other kid my age, I can’t be arsed picking them up. So I leave them there in a pile on the floor next to yesterday’s clothes that also missed the dirty clothes basket.
I walk back over to my bed and grab the T-shirt and pull it over my head, just as I hear a knock on my door. “Yeah?” I ask wondering who it is.
“It’s me, honey, can I come in?” Mum’s voice chimes from the other side of the door.
“Yeah Mum, come in,” I say as I sit down on my gorgeous, queen sized bed. It’s nice that Mum knocks, unlike Dad who just barges in.
The door opens and Mum comes in and shuts the door behind her. “You ready for bed?” she asks and I nod pulling the covers back and sliding in under the crisp, purple sheets.
“Good. You’re up too
late, but I guess that comes with being a rock star,” Mum says and I laugh as she walks over and sits down next to me on the bed.
“I’m not a rock star yet, Mum,” I reply and she smiles lovingly while she tucks some hair behind my ear. I sit in bed facing her.
“No, but you will be. And I’ll be there every step of the way with you honey,” she says.
I can’t help but think back to today and our first concert and how she wasn’t actually there. “I know,” I reply and she frowns.
“I’m sorry about today, Annie, but I promise we will make it up to you.”
“It’s okay Mum, you already have by letting me perform to you after… well, after I came back.”
She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it tightly. “Did you mean what you said today?” she asks and I can see the hurt in her eyes, eyes that are glistening with unshed tears.
I shake my head and move closer to her. “No Mum, I didn’t mean a word of it. I snapped, and I’m so sorry I said you weren’t a good parent because I couldn’t ask for a better Mum. I was just angry. When you weren’t there, and I was performing especially for you and Dad… that is, well, when I noticed you were gone and then finding out you weren’t there for any of it, it really hurt. You know?” I ask honestly. I can always be honest with Mum.
“I know, and trust me you don’t know how sorry I feel for letting you down. But it won’t happen again, Annie. I promise you,” she says and leans in kissing my forehead.
“Mum?” I say softly. Now she’s opened the floodgate for us to talk, I figure why stop.
“Yes, darling?”
