by Noelle Adams
“It’s okay.” He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her lips. “Thank you. For making such an effort with her.”
“It’s fine,” Lydia said, flushing with pleasure. “I want to. I lo—”
“You what?” he asked, almost urgently, when she broke off her instinctive word.
“I…I don’t know. I was uncomfortable with her at first but now…now I kind of love her.” Admitting such a thing was more embarrassing than she could remember feeling. But she realized it was true. It was growing, but it was true.
Gabe made a rough sound in his throat and pulled her into a hard hug. Lydia clung to him, feeling closer to him than she could ever remember feeling to anyone except her family.
She was reveling in the feeling when Gabe abruptly pulled away. He wasn’t looking in her eyes, and he seemed strangely stiff for no reason that made any sense. “What kind of tie was she looking for?”
“One with something on it she wanted special for you.” Lydia wasn’t about to break the girl’s confidence. “I found one online that would be perfect, but she was upset that she couldn’t find it in the store. We looked in every single store, and then I called up all the others in the county.” She shook her head, thinking about how hard she’d tried to find the tie for Ellie.
They found striped ties and checked ties and polka dotted ties and tacky Christmas ties, and ties with golf clubs and race cars and fishing poles on them. But no books.
“Okay. I’ll go talk to her.”
“Be gentle. She’s having a really hard time.” Lydia felt strangely like she’d lost something. He seemed changed since they’d been hugging just a moment before, and she didn’t know why.
“She still needs to be behave.”
“I know.”
“Actually, why don’t you come up too?”
Lydia blinked, since it had always been understood that any disciplining or decision-making regarding Ellie would be done by Gabe. “What? Why?”
“To help.” He looked strangely awkward, and he glanced over his shoulder toward the stairs. “I think you should be part of it too.”
So no good reason, Lydia’s heart began to race almost painfully. “You want me to…”
“I think we should do it together.”
She had no idea how she was feeling or why she was feeling anything so intense to such a minor incident, but she was having trouble taking a full breath. “Okay. I’ll be up in just a minute.”
She wasn’t actually sure whether she’d be up or not. She was irrationally terrified.
Gabe was already heading up the stairs, so there was no sense in staring up at his strong back and fine ass.
She wondered how hard it had been for him all these years to raise Ellie all on his own.
She did want to help him. She wanted to be part of both Gabe’s and Ellie’s lives. She wanted to be part of his family. She wanted it so much it ached in her chest.
But going upstairs right now to work through things with Ellie—like a family, as a family—would mean that everything would change.
It would mean that this marriage was a lot more than a means to the end she wanted.
She went to the bathroom and got some water from the kitchen. Then she called her mom to kill some time. She didn’t tell her mother about what happened, but her mom obviously realized something was wrong.
When Lydia left one too many comments unanswered, her mother asked softly, “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I…really don’t know.”
“You sound upset.”
“I’m not. Not really. I’m just…” Lydia really had no idea what she was.
After a moment, her mom replied, “Well, whatever it is, I know you’ll face it head-on. You’ve always been the bravest person I know.”
Lydia made a choked sound of appreciation. “Thanks, Mom. I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
After they said goodbye, Lydia grabbed the shopping bags and hauled them upstairs, putting some of the stuff in her room before heading up to the third floor to Ellie’s garret room.
She should have come up with him from the beginning. She wanted to make sure the girl was okay. And Gabe was okay too.
She listened briefly at the door before she tapped on it. When Ellie called out to come in, Lydia brought the bags with Ellie’s books and clothes into the room. “I’m just bringing up your stuff. Is everything okay?”
Ellie and Gabe were propped up against the headboard, Gabe’s arm around the girl. Ellie had obviously been crying but she wasn’t now. “Yeah, everything’s okay.”
Lydia darted her eyes over to Gabe, who gave a little nod. So Lydia smiled as she draped the red velvet Christmas dress over the chair and then came over to the bed.
“I’m sorry I was mean to you,” Ellie said, as Lydia sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Thank you. I know it was upsetting.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t appreciate you.”
Those words sounded like Gabe, but they seemed sincere enough coming from the girl with her earnest blue eyes.
Lydia nodded, touched by the sentiment. “I thought we had a good time, until the end.”
“We did. Thank you for taking me.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad we were able to go. And did you want me to order...” Instead of finishing the sentence, Lydia gestured down toward her phone.
Ellie nodded soberly. “Yes, please.”
Lydia exhaled in relief and Gabe leaned down to press a kiss into Ellie’s hair.
She wasn’t really great at this—at kids or marriage or anything—but Lydia decided she was doing all right.
***
They ordered pizza for dinner, and they ate it in the living room as they watched two Christmas movies in a row—one animated and one old classic musical.
Ellie started on the floor, while Gabe and Lydia sat on the couch. By the time the second movie started, however, all three of them were on the couch, Lydia leaning against Gabe on one side and Ellie leaning against him on the other.
Gabe seemed perfectly comfortable, so Lydia couldn’t quite bring herself to pull away, even though she felt a brief nervousness churning in her gut when she realized she was enjoying the evening a lot.
A lot.
And this wasn’t going to last. Everything would change when she got to India.
She drowned out that thought and relaxed instead.
Ellie was asleep at the end of the second movie, and Gabe was gently stroking Lydia’s hair. It felt tender, like he cared for her, like he wanted to protect her. It just intensified the soft feelings that were starting to overwhelm her.
When the movie ended, Lydia straightened up a little so she could look at him. They stared at each other for a minute, their faces only two inches apart.
Then she saw his face change, and she knew he was going to kiss her in the moment before he did.
The kiss wasn’t passionate or particularly urgent, but it was lingering. It didn’t end right away. She leaned into him as their lips brushed against each other, his tongue gently slipping out to stroke the insides of her lips.
“Baby,” he murmured.
“Hmm.” She didn’t pull away. In fact, she reached up to tangle her fingers in his thick hair. He’d never called her that before, but it felt natural, made her feel even softer.
“Are you okay with everything?”
Her head was spinning a little with feeling, so she couldn’t quite follow the question. “Hmm?”
He leaned forward to kiss her again, one hand cupping her face. “Are you okay with how things are? Between us?” He was speaking very softly, although Ellie was sound asleep.
“Of course.” She was so surprised that she pulled back a little. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure.”
“I’m good.” She met his gaze, trying to read how he was feeling in the heavy-lidded blue eyes. “Aren’t you?”
�
�Yeah. Yeah, of course. But I still think this marriage might be giving me more than it does you.”
“No.” She shook her head, realizing what he was worried about. “It’s been good for me. Really good.”
He smiled, and he was still smiling when he kissed her again.
Lydia was feeling more emotional than aroused, but the feelings were just as powerful. She’d never known she was capable of feeling this way. And it thrilled her and terrified her both.
They were still kissing when Ellie shifted on the couch, reminding them that they weren’t alone. “Daddy.”
“I’m here, sweetheart. You better get to bed.”
Ellie roused herself enough to get up, and Gabe gestured to Lydia in a silent request to come up with them to put Ellie to bed. She’d never done that before, but she didn’t hesitate. They both went up to say prayers with Ellie and kiss her goodnight.
When they came down, Lydia felt too full and a little self-conscious, so she picked up the pizza boxes and water bottles and straightened up the kitchen a little while Gabe went to return a call.
She went to her bedroom and decided that, since it had been a long day, she would feel better if she took a shower.
She was definitely going to be visiting Gabe’s bedroom. Soon.
After she got out of the shower, she was wishing she had something sexy to wear. She didn’t have anything sexy in her entire wardrobe. She had some pretty underwear, but all of her sleepwear was bought for comfort.
She pulled on a pair of panties and a pale blue tank top, searching her drawer for something other than the flannel pants she normally slept in.
Made a miracle would occur and something sexy would materialize that she’d forgotten about.
No such luck.
She jerked in surprise when she heard a knock on her door. She froze for a moment, processing the fact that the only person it could be was Gabe.
“Lydia?” his low voice came from outside the door.
She ran over and opened it. “Hi,” she said, taking in the fact that he wore his normal sleepwear of pajama pants and t-shirt.
He gave her a little smile. “Hi.”
She stared at him, feeling a wash of pleasure that he obviously wanted her so much tonight that he’d broken his habit of waiting for her to initiate.
“Can I come in?” he asked, glancing down and then back up again. “Or you could come to my room, if you’d rather.”
“You can come in.” She stepped out of the way, telling herself to get a grip and not be so ridiculously happy about such a little thing.
He looked slightly self-conscious and evidently misread her silence. ‘You said I could initiate. But if you don’t feel like it, then that’s totally f—”
“No,” she interrupted. “I do feel like it. I was planning to come to your room, but I wanted to take a shower first.”
She looked down at herself, realizing she still just wore her tank and underwear. He’d obviously seen her without clothes before, but it felt different in her own bedroom, with the lights on.
He was looking at her body too.
“I was trying to find pajamas,” she explained, gesturing toward the opened drawer with a couple of pants hanging over.
“I really don’t think you need to bother.” His voice was huskier than normal.
She laughed and gestured toward the bed. “I might get cold tonight if I don’t have pants to put on. But you can get in bed. Unless you’d prefer your room.”
“Doesn’t matter to me.”
She went to grab a pair of flannel pants and matching top from the drawer, to put on if she got cold later. Then she headed toward her bed, where Gabe was pulling down the covers and stretching out.
He looked as handsome and masculine as ever, but he also looked kind of rumpled, kind of tired. Human in a way that somehow surprised her.
This incredible man, lying on her bed. Still just a regular person.
And her husband.
“What?” he asked, evidently seeing something in her expression.
“Nothing.” Her eyes darted down unconsciously, and she noticed something. “Are you turned on already?” she asked, genuinely surprised.
He frowned at her haughtily. “Is that a problem?”
“No. It just seemed fast.”
“Well, you’re the one standing there, wearing almost nothing. What would you expect?”
She glanced down at herself. While nothing looked particularly special about her body—just her normal long legs, toned muscles, decent but not terribly impressive breasts. But she suddenly realized that he really liked how she looked.
Really liked it, if the evidence of his arousal was anything to go by.
Maybe it was silly, but it thrilled her.
“Ever since I’ve married you,” she admitted, trying to be as honest as she’d always been, “I’ve never known what to expect.”
He smiled as she came over to him, and he said as she crawled onto the bed, “You don’t think I’m some sort of a perv, do you?”
She’d been moving over him, unable to resist the sight of him, but she paused at the unanticipated question. “Perv? What does that mean?”
He reached over to pull her all the way over him, so she was straddling his hips. “I mean, you were my babysitter once. You don’t think I’m some sort of perv for getting so turned on by you now.”
The words—and the feeling underlying it—sent another shiver of pleasure through her body. She slid her hands from his belly and up to his chest, over his shirt. “You weren’t having lascivious thoughts about me back then, were you?”
“Of course not!”
He sounded so offended that she giggled and leaned down to kiss him. “Then you’re fine. That was a long time ago.”
His hands cupped her bottom, settling her down on top of him so that she could feel his erection through the fabric. “I guess so.”
“And I’m your wife,” she added, feeling her own body start to respond. “You’re allowed to get turned on by me.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” He was chuckling as she kissed him, but he soon took over the kiss, taking her head in one hand and sliding his tongue into her mouth.
She was breathless when they finally pulled apart, and she shifted her hips restlessly, arousal pulsing between her legs. “And you’re allowed to do something about it,” she added throatily.
He made a guttural sound and pulled her top off over her head, staring at her naked breasts hungrily. “Lucky me.”
She rubbed herself against his erection. “I might be a little lucky myself.”
He stroked her body skillfully, from her thighs to her hips and up to her breasts. She arched her back into his touch, still straddling his lap, and she gasped in pleasure as he twirled her nipples.
“Do you like that?” he asked, although he must already know the answer.
“Fuck,” she gasped, arching even more as he sustained the caress. It was the first time she’d ever said the word as an exclamation, but it somehow came out of her mouth uninvited. “It feels so good.”
“It looks like it feels good.”
She probably looked shamelessly eager, starting to rock as the pulsing of arousal grew too strong for her to control, but she just couldn’t care. His hands stroked her, and his body was hot and hard beneath her. He could give her body exactly what she needed.
Her gasps turned to whimpers and then to moans as one of his hands slid down her belly and even lower.
Her body jerked when his fingers found her clit. “That seems like it might be a good spot,” he murmured, a smile in his voice.
Her eyes had fallen closed as the pleasure intensified, and she reached back to cling desperately to his thighs to keep her balance. “It is,” she panted. “Oh, it is. Please make me come.”
“I’m definitely going to make you come. I want to see you totally come apart for me.”
She was already on the verge of coming apart, and more so as his erotic voice worked
her into higher tension. She was shaking now, trying to grind herself against him as he massaged her clit and squeezed her bottom with his other hand.
“I love how responsive you are,” he murmured, his voice another caress. “I love how easily I can turn you on.”
She’d never in her life liked to think she was easy, but there was no denying how quickly he could arouse her. She was close to orgasm already, panting desperately and making a lot of silly, helpless sounds.
Two of his fingers suddenly slid inside her channel, as his thumb kept pressing into her clit. The sudden penetration pushed her over the edge, and she bent back like a bow as the waves of pleasure slammed into her.
She bit her lip to stifle her cry of release as she shuddered through the contractions, her inner muscles squeezing around his fingers.
He was stroking her gently when she’d finally worked through all the spasms, her body washed with delicious satisfaction. “Wow,” she sighed, her voice cracking on the word. “That was…” She slumped over him, trying to get her mind to work, when it was doing nothing but howling about how good her body felt at the moment.
“That was what?” he asked, stroking her back and still holding her bottom with one hand.
“That was…beyond words.”
“Well, good.” He tilted his head to kiss her hair. “I love how you’re not at all self-conscious.”
For the first time, a ripple of self-consciousness ran through her. Maybe he thought it was strange that she wasn’t more shy or reticent about sex, since she had only a couple of weeks’ experience. “Is that strange?”
“I don’t know what’s strange.” He met her eyes when she lifted her head. “I’ve only had sex with two women in my whole life, so I have no measure of what’s normal. I’m just saying that I really like that about you.”
“Okay. Good.” He seemed to mean it, so she decided there was nothing to worry about.
She felt so relaxed she didn’t really want to move, but she could feel the bulge of his erection beneath her, reminding her that there was more to come.
He’d made her feel so good, and she could make him feel really good too.
That thought inspired her enough to raise up again and adjust enough so she could slide down his pants. She took his erection into her hands as it was freed, and she loved the way he inhaled sharply in response to her touch.
