Terror by Night

by Caffey, Terry,Pence, James H.

  One thing I can say for sure is that I loved my family and they loved me. No matter what has been taken, the love and memories we all shared can never be taken away. I will always cherish what we had, and thank God for the time we had. I will never forget what took place that awful night, but I can say that all the good things in our lives sure outweigh the bad.

  So, God, I ask you for strength and guidance to get through each day, and that is how I will make it. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Only by the grace of God have I made it this far, and by His grace He will see me through. I wonder how people who have no faith or trust in God make it through the hardships of life. I can’t understand, because even as a Christian, trying to cope and trust God is still hard.

  Through this journey I can feel the presence of God, leading and directing me down the path I should go. I believe God is going to bring me out of this and because of the hardships, God will make me strong. Those things that were meant to kill us will make us stronger. Thank you, God, for getting me through this day. I keep expecting great things to come of all this.

  JUNE 19, 2008 – 9:30 P.M.

  Today was one of my better days. Things seemed to flow in a way that brought me peace. It all started when I opened my letter from Erin this morning. She said so many things in that letter that just lifted me up. She said she loves me and her mother and her brothers as well. She also said that no matter what happens or where she ends up, that she will never forget her upbringing. She said that we did a good job raising her and the boys, and that none of this was my or her mother’s fault. Because of her bad choice in a boyfriend, she feels somewhat responsible.

  No matter what happens with Erin, no matter what her involvement was, no matter what the prosecutors say, I’ll always love my daughter. I’ll love and support her the best way I can. Erin will always be daddy’s little girl. I just hope she knows how much I love her.

  I thought I knew what unconditional love was, but until now I really didn’t know. With unconditional love, I know that forgiveness for the other three has to come. I’m not there yet, but I am working towards that. I don’t forgive the act they committed. I forgive for my own peace of mind.

  Well, tomorrow is Friday, and Rodney and Sherrie have invited me to go fishing with them. I hope I can find time to go.

  Time to sign off.

  JUNE 22, 2008 – 4:15 P.M.

  Well, it’s Sunday and it’s been a few days since I’ve been able to write. It’s amazing how busy my life has become, between work, visiting Erin, and along with church, going to preach and just spending what little time I have with family and friends. I guess it helps to stay busy. It keeps my mind off everything. It’s like I go out of my way to stay busy. I am getting so tired and fatigued.

  I did get to go fishing with Rodney and Sherrie. I had a great time. Just being able to get away from the everyday rat race was great. They are so amazing to include me in their lives like they do. Rodney and Sherrie are so easy to talk to. I guess because they don’t put on a front. They are just good honest people, and I love them so much. It’s been an all around good day today and I thank God for it. My days are so up and down, so when I have a good day like today, I just thank God for it.

  I preached at Roxton Baptist Church this morning, and we had a great time in the Lord today. I can still see God moving and working in Erin and my lives. God has been blessing so much. Five young people got saved at a church just up the road. I know there are many souls that will join my family in heaven someday. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. It may be one of those hard days, but for today, I thank God for it.

  JUNE 23, 2008 – 10:15 P.M.

  It’s getting late, but I just had to take out a few moments to write. It’s been a long day, with work and then revival this week. I pray for revival in my heart, to pull me closer to God. I will have a chance to preach Friday night. I always look forward to sharing God’s Word, and He has been speaking to my heart tonight.

  As I was turning in for the night, I went to the Lord in prayer. I prayed for Erin and for God to work in our lives on Wednesday. That will be a big day for us in court, and as the time draws near to that day, my heart fills with so many emotions. As I prayed tonight, I remembered back to one Friday night when Erin was a baby.

  It was after I got off work. We were to go out to eat with Penny’s parents that night. As Penny was getting ready I remember holding Erin in my arms. She was so tiny, just about six weeks old. As I held her while rocking her in the rocking chair, I remember looking down at her precious little face as she slept in my arms. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I thanked God for the wonderful gift that He had given us. I also remember saying to her that I love you and no matter what or how big you get, you will always be daddy’s little girl. At that moment I made a promise that no matter what, I would always be her daddy and I will always be there for her. Never dreamed that nearly seventeen years later I would be standing by her side while she sits in jail awaiting trial for murder. After all these years, I stand firm and true to that promise. She will always be daddy’s little girl and no matter what, I will always be there for her. As I lay my head down tonight, and as I fall to sleep, I say goodnight to the only one that I have left, and to the one I love so dearly.

  Goodnight to daddy’s little girl.

  JUNE 27, 2008 – 12:00 A.M.

  It has been a while since I have written. My life has been so busy lately. As I sit here and ponder back on my life, I can only say, wow, what a journey it has been. I have so many wonderful memories to look back on, and I guess when I focus and draw my attention to the wonderful things in my life, it helps to drown out all the negative things that have happened.

  I sit here and reflect back on my old life, and I have so many joyful occasions I can go to in my memory. I often think of Penny and the boys, and can’t help but worry about Erin. I know in time God will have His will and way. I never want to forget my past or those things that I hold so dear to my heart, but I know I must move on. There is a chapter in my life that I now must close, and a new one must begin. I have often sat and wondered what my new life will be like, or will God send me a mate that I can love and share my life with. Only time will tell, but I now see a brighter future ahead, and my heart races with anticipation as I look for a new horizon.

  Just when I thought I would never see over the horizon, or be able to share another beautiful sunset with a woman, or look into a woman’s eyes and look deep into her soul or feel the soft touch of her hands. Just when I needed that the most, God sent Sonja. She is such an amazing person. She makes me smile and feel so warm inside. I feel as if I’ve known her for years and that I can talk to her about anything. It is so refreshing to meet someone who you can just be yourself around.

  I’m looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. She has invited me to a picnic/family reunion. I’m so excited to get to know her better, to just sit and talk and share our thoughts and feelings. I am so blessed to have met her, and I feel that I have a friend that I can trust. I am trying to take it slow, but in just a short time of being around her, I feel my heart giving in. She makes me feel so good, and when I look into those beautiful green eyes—and she has the most beautiful green eyes that I have ever seen—I just get lost in them.

  I have a battle going on between my head and my heart. My head says, “Slow down and take your time. Don’t rush.” But my heart says, “Pull in a little closer.” The more we talk, the more I find that we have in common; only time will tell. I don’t know what the future holds, but I can only hope that Sonja will be part of it.

  I find myself thinking about her all day. Here it is 1:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep. It’s the first time in a long time that I haven’t been able to sleep for a good reason. So as I sign off, I can only thank God for blessings that He has sent my way, and one of those blessings is Sonja coming into my life. So as I go to sleep, I somehow wish I could kiss her on the cheek, tuck her in, and say good night and sweet dreams. So since we’
re apart, maybe somehow she’ll find me in her dreams and those dreams will carry her to a peaceful place in her mind. And as she dreams, she will know that I am there nearby.

  So good night and sweet dreams.

  JULY 28, 2008 – 9:10 P.M.

  It has been about a month since I have written, but life has been so busy and full lately. So much has taken place over the last month. Penny’s birthday has come and gone, so has Erin’s.

  Yesterday was Sunday, July 27th, Erin’s birthday. I went to Paris to preach and share my testimony. It was so hard to go at first because my heart was so heavy for Erin. This was the first time in seventeen years that I didn’t get to see her on her birthday. It seems like yesterday that we were bringing her home from the hospital after she was born. Now she is seventeen and sitting in jail for what could be a really long time. So I try to move on, but at times the journey gets so hard.

  Yesterday a man came up to me after I preached and shared with me that he had lost his seventeen-year-old son on February 9th of this year. As I looked up to this six foot, six inch, larger than life man, all we could do was hug and cry together and share one another’s grief. When we parted ways, it made me realize why I was there and what my calling is. Just being able to help someone along life’s way, and just to be able to sit and cry with someone over their grief makes going forward for me a little easier.

  There have been some positive things that have taken place over the last month. I wrote about Sonja and how I was falling for her. Well, I have fallen in love with her. She is just an amazing woman, and she brings so much joy into my life. Her two boys, Blake and Tanner, I have fallen in love with them also. They are such a joy to be around, and I believe they like me as well.

  I never thought that I could fall in love again, but I have, and what a great feeling it is to be in love and to have someone love you. I was trying so hard to move slowly, but she just does something to me that makes my heart race when I think of her. I think of her all the time. Sonja is always there in my mind. I think of her when I awake. I think of her when I sleep. And I think of her all day long. Even in my dreams, there she is. I now know that she is the one. I’ll marry her someday, and we will start a new life together. Me, Sonja, and the boys. What a great time it will be, starting over again. A new start and a new life.

  It has been a long season of weeping and mourning, but once more joy and love have come into my life. The Bible tells us in Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” My joy has returned and now I can look forward to tomorrow and have a peace about my future.

  Well, it’s getting late, so I’ll sign off for now, hoping I will have a restful night and dream about Sonja, the love of my life.

  Appendix B

  Terry’s Victim Impact Statement

  AS I STAND HERE TODAY and look face-to-face with the one who has murdered my family, I wasn’t sure how I would feel. Would I have anger, sadness, or grief of losing my family? Not sure what emotions I would have. Maybe a mixture of them all.

  One thing is for sure: I see a troubled young man before me who has thrown his whole life away. You’ve thrown your life away, and for what? It was so senseless.

  At first I had so much anger, so much bitterness towards you, but in time God has shown me what it means to forgive. So I want to say to you today, I forgive you, not so much for your sake, but for my own. I refuse to grow into a bitter old man. If I am going to heal and move on, I must find forgiveness in my heart.

  That has been the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, because you have taken so much away from me. You took my wife of eighteen years, whom I’ll never be able to see or talk to again. You took my boys away from me. Matthew, only thirteen years old. Tyler, only eight years old. I’ll never be able to see my boys drive their first car. I’ll never see them graduate high school or college. I’ll never get to see my boys walk down the aisle and get married. Never will they be able to give me grandchildren. Because of you, I’ll never be able to see my boys grow up.

  Then, after you took my family away, you didn’t stop there. You burnt our house down, taking from me all my family photos, all the little special gifts and cards, all the things that were so precious to me. You took all these things from me as if they were nothing. So for me, forgiveness hasn’t come easy. But in spite of your hatred and evil efforts, I’ll carry on with all the wonderful memories that will forever be ingrained in my heart. And that is something you will never be able to take from me.

  You took lives and the prosecutors wanted to send you to death row, but I protested and asked them not to. You took lives, but I gave you back life in return. That’s the difference between you and me. I’m not a murderer. Life to me is so precious.

  So I ask you today, was it worth it to throw away your life? To spend forever in prison, locked away behind bars, knowing you will never get married. You will never have children. You will never have grandchildren. You will never see another sunrise or sunset or walk on a sandy beach. Never ever will you enjoy the things a free man does.

  So again, was it worth it?

  I have been asked many times how could I forgive someone who has murdered my family and that has taken away the most precious thing that I had. I found that answer and my comfort in Romans chapter 12, “Bless them which persecute you. Bless and curse not. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirsts, give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

  Charlie Wilkinson, may God have mercy on your soul.

  Charles Waid, may God have mercy on your soul.

  Appendix C

  Terry’s Letter Regarding the Death Penalty

  FOLLOWING IS THE TEXT of the letter that Terry sent to the Texas State Attorney General’s office, requesting that Charlie Wilkinson and Charles Waid not receive the death penalty.

  DATE: 10/20/08

  To Whom It May Concern:

  I would like first off to express my sincere gratitude to the District Attorney and Attorney General’s office for your prayers and concerns during my tragic loss.

  Over the last eight months, I have had a lot of time to think and pray about the direction I would like to see all this move forward. As I reflect over the loss of my family and the pain that this has brought to my family and me, my heart tells me that there have been enough deaths. That is why I am against the death penalty and would like to see life without parole.

  I want to see them get life without parole and give them time to think about what they have done. I want them, in this lifetime, to have a chance for remorse and to come to a place of repentance for what they have done.

  I have lost everything, my wife, and two boys, and in a sense I feel I have lost my daughter as well. I have lost my home and all the years of memories from all our pictures and all the special little gifts that have been handed down over the years. Yes I have lost so much.I or my family didn’t have a choice in the matter. So all I ask is for you to listen to me and my family, and grant our request.

  We are the victims here, and we are hurting. We just want our voices to be heard and to be able to move on the best we can. So all I ask of you is that you listen with your heart and give a grieving family their request and a chance to move on.

  Thanks so much for taking the time to listen to a grieving husband and father.

  Sincerely,

  Terry Caffey

  About the Authors

  Terry Caffey lives in Wills Point, Texas, with his wife, Sonja, and their two sons, Blake and Tanner. Since the tragic loss of his first wife, Penny, and their sons, Matthew and Tyler, he has gone into full-time ministry, speaking and reaching out to others who have suffered unspeakable tragedy and sharing his personal message of God’s fa
ithfulness. Terry continues to visit his daughter, Erin, regularly and remains steadfast in his belief that she did not mastermind the plot to kill his family.

  James H. Pence is a full-time professional writer, editor, and Web designer living near Dallas, Texas. James came to know the Caffey family when Terry’s daughter, Erin, and her youngest brother, Tyler, enrolled in James’s “Karate for Homeschoolers” class. Through the karate class, James came to know both Terry and Penny. He later gave Penny a copy of his novel Blind Sight, the source of the mysterious scorched page that Terry found in the aftermath of the fire and that he credits with turning his life around following the loss of his family.