by Ashley Lyn
I’m trying to get through this conversation without balling like a baby, but I fail miserably.
“Christ, you’re unmanning me with your tears, darling. I haven’t even met you, and I want to hug you.”
“She’s so horrible. I grew up with two of the best moms ever. When all this started, that horrible woman painted you out to be a monster. I feel like in the biological mom department, I got the shaft, so to find out that my father is a nice guy? I mean, you like chocolate cake waffles, or you will once you’ve eaten them. I’m so relieved that I have at least one biological parent who’s awesome.”
He has to clear his throat a couple times to get the words out, but he finally croaks out, “God, girl. I’m…I’m just so happy. So damn happy. I have a daughter. This is the best news of my life.”
I giggle. “I’ll get those photos emailed, and maybe we can set up a meeting? You can meet my moms, and my fiancé.”
“Christ, a fiancé? Talk about out of the fire and into the frying pan.”
“I live about three hours from New York, in a town called Spartan.”
“I’ll clear my schedule and let you know when I can come down.”
“I look forward to meeting you…Dad.”
This time, the sob comes from him. “Dad. It has a nice ring to it. Talk to you again soon, daughter.”
I’m so fucking thrilled. That went way better than I had expected. I do a little shimmy shake, and since I’m sitting in my hammock, it results in me flipping the dumb thing over, and I’m dumped out on my ass.
Closing my eyes, I lay in the dirt, too happy to care.
I feel hot breath on my face and I scream. My eyes pop open, and there’s Luke’s smiling face.
“This damn thing is dangerous.”
“Only to you, love. So, I take it the conversation with your dad went well?”
I scowl at him. “Let me guess, Savannah called you?”
“Yeah. Been standing here for a while, listening.”
“Eavesdropper.”
“Yup.”
I smile, and then I start to cry, but they’re happy tears. I wrap my arms around his neck and he picks me up to carry me inside for snuggles and a Walking Dead marathon. It’s the perfect end to my night.
***
Dane
A daughter. Christ, I'm fucking ecstatic. I never thought I would have kids. Opening my email, I see a new message. I click on the attachment, and feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
She’s a clone of my litle sister, Sarah. They look so much alike, it’s eerie.
Father. Not even in my wildest imaginings did I ever think this would happen. I had only been married to my first wife for about a year when I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Within a month of starting chemo, I was told that I would most likely be sterile after the treatment. My wife’s lawyer showed up in my hospital room with divorce papers.
I’m sitting here, staring at her picture in total shock, when my best friend and a major pain in the ass, Boomer Powers, walks in the door.
“Fuck, we’re going to be late and lose our court if you don’t hurry it up, old man.”
“A daughter…I have a daughter.”
He cocks his head at me like a dog would.
“We went over this after that crazy chick came in last month.”
I turn the computer screen around, and his mouth drops open in shock. “That’s Sarah.”
“Nope. I just got off the phone with her. Her name is Alice, and apparently, Viola’s been causing her problems, as well as trying to get money out of her too.”
I click through to a different picture and see a photo that must be of her moms, and they’re both hot.
Boomer clears his throat. “Who are they?”
“Her moms.”
“They married to each other, or attached?”
“No.”
The grin on his face is dirty, and completely inappropriate.
“Wipe that perverted smile off your face.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Whatever. Can you get me the number for that DNA testing company you use? I want to make sure everything is official.”
“Sure. I’ll have Miranda send it over.”
“Who the hell is Miranda?”
“My new PA.”
“What happened to the old PA? What was her name?”
“Daisy. Damn, that girl was flexible.”
“You plow through PAs faster than a sixteen-year-old boy.”
“Plow being the operative word.”
I can’t help but laugh, because that was funny. I click to the next picture and tears form in my eyes. It’s a baby picture of Alice, probably only a couple months old.
“I missed so much.”
Clicking again, I come to one that must be a picture of her and her fiancé.
“Who’s that dude?”
“I believe it’s her fiancé.”
“You made it in time for the wedding. I love weddings.”
“You love weddings for a totally different reason than most people.”
“Too right, my friend.”
“Come on. Let's get to the gym before we lose our court, then we’ll go out and celebrate.”
Locking my computer, I grab my gym bag, feeling light on my feet. Knowing that I’m a father is the best feeling in the world.
re·un·ion
Ali
I’m huffing and puffing. My legs and arms are shaking, but I’m determined to get each and every grocery bag into Willa’s house in one trip.
“Open the fucking door!” I scream out.
I make it to the door and use my pinky to ease it open enough to get my hip into it. I make a beeline for the kitchen, and using all my mighty strength, I lift the bags and place them on the counter.
Willa, Cleo, and Margo shake their heads and go back to painting their nails.
“Seriously, guys. I can see Cleo not helping because it’s her birthday, but you two could have at least helped to open the damn door.”
“It would’ve helped if you hollered or something.”
“I did.”
“Did not.”
“Did too. You all need hearing aids.”
Their offended gasps make me snicker. Margo gets up and comes around the counter to help me empty the bags.
“Is there anything left in the car, or did you He-Woman it all.”
“I He-Womaned that shit, except for the water and pop.”
“I’ll go get it. Willa, where are the coolers?”
“On the porch, I think. If not, they’re in the garage.”
“Margo, you gonna get dressed before you go out?”
“I am dressed.”
“You sure?”
“Yup.”
She slides on her boots and whistles her hot pants covered ass with a baby doll tee out the door.
About five seconds later, she comes running back in the house with a big ass grin on her face.
“Your boob fell out,” I point out. She looks down and adjusts herself, stuffing her boob back into her too small bikini.
“You have company, Ali dear.” I give her a weird look. Her grin is creepy big.
“Who?” I ask as I make my way to the door. I peek out the window and squeal as I hightail it out the door.
“You made it!” Throwing my arms around my dad is the best feeling in the world. His arms come around, and I can’t stop the tears from falling. We release each other and stand back, both smiling.
“I didn’t think you were going to be able to make it until next weekend.”
“I was able to wrap up my meetings a little early.”
I hear the door open and want to groan, as the triple threat that is Willa, Margo, and Cleo saunter out the door. Between the three of them, there aren't enough clothes to cover a toddler.
“Dad, these are my moms, Margo and Cleo, and their accomplice in most of their shenanigans, Willa.”
Margo walks up and gives him a hug, as does Cleo. “We ca
n’t tell you how happy we are that you and Ali finally got to meet. If we’d known then what we know now, we would have contacted you immediately.”
My dad looks only semi-uncomfortable in his attempt to keep his eyes above boob level. His friend has no such problem, and Willa snaps her fingers. “Up here, bub.”
Dad groans and introduces us to his friend. “This hound dog is my pain in the ass friend, Boomer Powers. Please excuse anything inappropriate that comes out of his mouth.”
Boomer proceeds to kiss the knuckles of all the ladies, accompanying the gesture with a cocky as fuck wink.
“What can we do to help? You said on the phone that there was going to be a big party.”
“Just need to get the coolers packed with the nonalcoholic beverages and set up the Slip ’N Slide,” Willa offers as she hooks arms with Boomer and begins to drag him to the house.
“A Slip ’N Slide you say?”
“Yup. Hope you brought some swimming trunks.”
“No—”
“You can just slide in your undies.”
“Who said I’m wearing any?”
Both Margo and Cleo giggle after hearing this exchange between Willa and Boomer, while Dad just shakes his head. They give me a hug and head back into the house.
Because I can, I hug him again, beyond pumped that he’s here. This is like a dream come true. Giving him one last squeeze, I pull back and grab his hand. I lead him around the side of the house, where the chairs and fire pit is set up for later.
“How was your drive up?”
“Good. This town is beautiful. It feels peaceful, and I can see why you like it here. The energy is different from the city, for sure.”
“I love it here. I can’t see myself ever settling anywhere else.” We’re sitting on the rocking love seat, enjoying each other’s company.
“Have you heard from ‘she who will not be named?’” I ask, turning in my seat.
“She came in about two weeks ago, said she wasn’t leaving until I paid her. I informed her that I’d been in contact with you, Margo, and Cleo, and that if I owed anything to anyone, it would be them. I also told her that I had contacted the police about the whole situation. She hightailed it out of there so fast, I think she left skid marks on my carpet.”
“She hasn’t contacted me, not since she sent pictures to Luke a couple weeks ago.”
The back door slams and Willa comes around the corner. Her white cropped bikini top and flowing white skirt are pretty, but she paired it with a bright purple sombrero. The whole outfit is comical, really.
“Can you call Luke, see if he can bring Boomer some swim trunks? I’m getting his sexy ass down the slide if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Yeah, I can call him, but he won’t be here for about another hour or so.”
She turns to walk away, and I stop her. “Willa?”
“Yes, sugarplum?”
“Did you call Bruce and tell him that wearing his mankini is forbidden?”
“Ugh, yes. I swear I’ve seen that man's balls one too many times since he got that damn thing. We were thinking of starting a petition to have it confiscated.”
I giggle, thinking about Bruce holding onto his slingshot while the whole town pries it out of his fingers.
“Do I even want to know?” Dad asks.
“Bruce is my old neighbor, and he’s a rather flamboyant gentleman. He recently purchased a mankini. It covers his dangly bits, bisects his butt cheeks, and barely covers his nipples. He was strutting around town until Sheriff Parker told him he either had to go home and change, or he was going to haul him in for indecent exposure.” Dad laughs. It feels good to sit here and laugh with my him.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see that it’s Luke, and he’s getting ready to head out.
Sexy Man Beast: Headed your way, sugar tits.
Me: Guess what?
Sexy Man Beast: What?
Scooting close to my dad, I lean back and take a selfie with him and text it to Luke.
Sexy Man Beast: Holy shit! Is that your dad?
Me: Yup. He was able to come sooner than expected.
Sexy Man Beast: Sweet. I can’t wait to meet him, babe. Was there anything I needed to grab before heading over?
Me: Do you have an extra pair of swim trunks? Dad’s friend didn’t bring any, and Willa has the Slip ’N Slide set up.
Sexy Man Beast: Sure thing. Anything else?
Me: Just your sexy ass.
Sexy Man Beast: Love you, babe.
Me: Love you too.
Grabbing Dad's hand, we head inside to finish party prep. Things are going to get cray-cray, and I cannot wait.
***
Boomer
This woman is going to kill me.
This is like Slip ’N Slide on steroids. Looking over the side of the hill, I see a table at the end, set up for flip cup.
The classic tunes are blaring, and drinks are flowing. Willa seems to be attached to me at the hip. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a hot piece of ass, but Cleo is my kind of woman. Her curves are endless, and are begging for my hands. Dane told me they’re both off limits, but I swear if Cleo looks at me one more time with that hungry look on her face, I’m finding the nearest flat surface.
“She hasn’t dated in about ten years.”
I jump clear the fuck out of my skin as Margo walks up.
“Who?”
“Cleo.”
I look back down at where Cleo is sitting, talking to Dane. My eyes once again make the trip from the black top hat with the pretty flowers stuck to the side with the wild black curls. Her breasts are encased in a black halter top bikini. My cock stirs again in my pants. Blowing out a breath, I work to keep my erection under control.
I’m not some horny teenage boy. I can control myself, damn it.
“Cleo has reasons, of course. She’s not the type of woman who’s into casual flings.”
“No offense, but why are you telling me this?”
“You seem like a playboy, and the looks you two are throwing at each other are hot enough to burn down cities.”
“Dane already warned me you ladies were off limits.”
She spanks my ass as she walks by, once again scaring the crap out of me. I hear a car pulling up, and some punk ass gets out. This must be Ali’s fiancé. He’s covered in tattoos, and has this weird haircut, complete with a man bun.
Narrowing my eyes as Margo walks up and hugs him, he hands her a couple wrapped presents. I’m too busy studying him, and totally miss Margo throwing swim trunks at me. Pulling them off my head, I glare at her. She just walks off, presents in hand, laughing.
“Hey, man, you must be Boomer. I’m Luke, Ali’s fiancé.”
“What do you do?” I demand, arms across my chest.
“Well, for starters, I was trying to shake your hand.”
“For a living. What do you do?”
“I own a graphic design company.”
“Successful?”
“Has been for years.”
“What are your intentions toward my niece?”
He laughs, the fucker. I’m taking my uncle position serious as fuck.
“I intend to put a ring on it, and live out the rest of my days making her the happiest wife on the planet.”
He pulls an inner tube out of the back of the truck, then pulling his shirt off, he takes off down the slide.
Heading to the house, I go to the bathroom to change. Once I’m naked, I briefly contemplate rubbing one out, and just as my hand wraps around my cock the door opens, and there stands Cleo. Her pretty mouth drops open, and her eyes bug out as they focus on my cock.
“Cleo.”
Her eyes raise up to mine, and the sexiest blush makes its way from her chest to her cheeks. I give her a grin and a wink, then she squeaks and slams the door.
Grinning, I finish getting dressed and take a moment to get myself under control.
I make it back outside, just in time to see Cleo take off d
own the slide, and I can’t help but laugh at hearing her excited squeals all the way down.
I see a bottle of dish soap and grease myself up, then taking a running start, I hit the slide and fly down. I slide down so fast, I hit the end and get a mouth and nose full of water, and proceed to blast past the pool and face plant right into the sand.
Aside from the sounds of the music, the only thing I hear is my pride, running away with the wind.
“Cleo, I think he beat you by two or three feet.”
“Shut it, Margo. God, my boobs are crying, thinking about the sand-burn I got the last time I did that.”
Getting up, I stomp over to the outdoor shower to rinse the sand off my face. I take in a mouthful of water and swish it around, trying to get the sand out of my fucking teeth.
Hearing footsteps, I peek out and see Cleo coming over with a bottle of water and a towel.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, but not sure about my hurt ego.”
“I know the feeling. The first time she set this up I did the same thing. I wanted to apologize for walking in on you earlier.”
“It’s all right. I should’ve locked the door.”
“Not that I minded the scenery.”
We both grin at each other and head back over to the party. Everyone starts groaning, and I look up at the top of the hill. I see a rather robust gentleman in the world's brightest, smallest, pink speedo, and standing next to him is an older woman in a matching pink one-piece. The woman sits and slides down, giggling like a school girl. The man heads down on his tire-like belly, and gets stuck about halfway down. He then proceeds to hump the plastic until he skids the rest of the way down. Cleo is next to me, laughing so hard she’s crying.
I can’t help but laugh too. Luke gets up and sprints to the top and squirts it down with the hose. Using the dish soap, he greases up the plastic again.
I’m looking around at the assembled guests and realize the party has doubled in size. A sense of calm settles throughout my body; there’s something about this town. It's not just the town, but also the people. It’s like having your best friends and family all rolled into one. I could get used to this place.
ac·ci·dent
