Substitute

by Rey, Isobel

  ‘Hello,’ she said shakily.

  He obviously hadn’t told Romy how he’d seen her in the office, just that he’d seen her. But Alexia knew that Romy knew, and this pantomime was excruciating.

  Romy was still playing hostess. ‘Alexia is also my flatmate.’

  ‘Indeed,’ said Nathan, releasing Alexia’s hand. She was relieved to be free of his grasp, but slightly bereft also. The energy from the touch of his skin was shocking to her.

  ‘Well, we’re not quite one big happy family here, but we’re pretty close …’ As he said the last word, he looked directly at her. He certainly hadn’t forgotten Friday’s encounter in the boardroom.

  She smiled weakly, wanting the ground to swallow her whole, right then and there.

  ‘Welcome to the company, Alexia.’ As he repeated her name he inclined his head slightly. It was a small gesture but it induced a huge tug in her loins. Then, suddenly, he was striding away; elegant, tall, confident. Down the corridor, sweeping out through the double doors like a gunslinger from a saloon, and gone.

  Alexia let out a pent-up breath, the exhalation one of relief and mortification, mixed equally.

  ‘Well,’ said Romy breezily. ‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’

  ‘I need to sit down.’ Alexia hurried off to the main office.

  ‘Hey, don’t forget I set you homework. Observation class!’ Romy called after her, laughing as she sauntered away to Nathan’s office.

  Back at her desk, Alexia couldn’t collect her thoughts. ‘Welcome to the company,’ he’d said. ‘We’re pretty close!’

  Oh God, she thought, he really thinks I’m a tart. And that thought hurt, really hurt. But why? She hardly knew him. Yes she was attracted to him, but then Tony and Richard were both attractive. What was different about Nathan? But he was different. Very different.

  She was in a daze, staring at her computer, unseeing. Her head was swimming, her lips felt numb, as if all the blood had drained from her head. She took a deep breath and looked up to orientate herself. But as she did she saw two of the jocks who worked at the company looking at her. They both looked away hurriedly. Alexia blinked. These guys were very good looking; she’d seen the girls flirting with them, trying to catch their attention. Alexia pretended to look back at her screen but she sneaked a look at one of the guys and, sure enough, she saw a small bulge in his pants. She suppressed a small giggle. Did I do that? she thought. Was Romy right?’

  She felt a sudden jolt of power. It was a strange feeling, and one she wasn’t used to, especially after so long with Carter. She wanted to know more. Slowly, she got up and walked to the water cooler. She bent over to fetch a cup, but the cup store was empty as she knew it would be; she had seen it from her desk. She had her back to the boys and realised they would have a good view of her behind in her tight pencil skirt. She stood up very suddenly and whirled round.

  ‘Anyone know where the cups are kept?’ she asked.

  One of the guys nearly fell off his chair. They had clearly been transfixed by her rear end. Neither spoke.

  ‘Oh don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I think they’re in the stationery cupboard.’

  She smiled and walked away, suppressing a giggle of disbelief at her boldness and the reaction of the guys.

  She left the office, and felt a jolt of pleasure as the door closed behind her, taking her out of sight. She knew their eyes had been on her departing figure. She was wearing borrowed heels from Romy. They were far too high for her, but she’d wanted to look her best today. She’d been a little unsteady on them all day, but now she stalked down the corridor with absolute steadiness. She felt taller and it wasn’t just down to the four-inch stilettos she was balancing on.

  The stationery cupboard was tucked away at the back of the building, far away from any office space or people. She found the light switch and went in. There was a large table being stored in the room which made it hard to get at the supplies. She leant over it to reach the cups. She couldn’t quite reach, and had to strain forward.

  ‘Can I help?’

  She wheeled round to see Tony. He’d come in silently and was closing the door behind him.

  Alexia couldn’t form a word.

  ‘I just thought I should say hello properly as we haven’t really been introduced – formally, that is. Tony Schaeffer, at your service.’ He extended a hand.

  She looked at it but didn’t move. He didn’t seem to be as wolf-like as he had on Friday night. His smile was warm and seemed genuine. She put out her hand and he took it. It was softer than Nathan’s grip, but his skin was warm and it felt good. He didn’t let go.

  ‘You’re still holding my hand,’ said Alexia, her eyes never leaving his. He was very pretty; not handsome but pretty. His boyish face was framed by blond curls. He looked like a slightly fallen angel.

  ‘I know,’ he said quietly. ‘I’d rather not let go.’

  He held on to her hand with his right and, with his left hand, he traced up her extended arm until they were standing too close and his fingers rested by her armpit, grazing the side of her breast.

  She gasped, but didn’t move; she couldn’t. There was nowhere to go in this tiny space. But then, she didn’t want to move. Her breast was aching with the brushed touch and it wanted more.

  ‘I’m sorry you saw me with Phillipa on Friday. I’m not always so rough. She likes it like that. You, on the other hand –’ He thought for a moment. ‘I think you deserve to be treated more gently, don’t you, Alexia?’

  He knew her name. He was speaking softly as if trying to calm a skittish horse. She felt that now familiar spurt of wetness between her legs. His hand slid gently under her right breast and cupped the weight of it. His eyes never left hers; big, blue pools she could dive into. His face was angelic but, now she studied him, his mouth seemed quite cruel; his lips had a curl to them that wasn’t quite in keeping with the rest of his face.

  He inched towards her. As he closed the distance between them, he bent his head and brushed his lips against the side of her mouth – not a kiss, but almost. She couldn’t breathe.

  ‘Very gently,’ he repeated.

  He was right up against her now. She could feel his hardness, and she knew what was straining beneath the cloth of his trousers; she’d seen it on Friday. The hand she’d extended to shake his had found itself resting against his chest and he put his hands on the sides of her ribcage. He would be able to feel her breathing hard.

  The wetness in her pants was getting warmer and her pussy was aching so much she felt as if her juices would stain her skirt. She wanted to press her pussy against his cock. She could picture it, just as she had seen it days before: rock hard, circumcised, the helmet marble smooth.

  But he pulled back and looked at her. She couldn’t read the look in his eyes. Without taking his gaze away from hers he put his hands to work undoing the buttons of her blouse. The fabric was tight around her breasts, which seemed to have swollen, straining the buttons.

  He expertly undid the fastenings, travelling down from her collar bone to her waist. Then, with one sudden tug, he lifted the sides of her blouse clear of her skirt, leaving her lacy white bra exposed. The shock of it made her gasp, but she didn’t move; she was transfixed. His gaze travelled down from her eyes.

  ‘Oh beautiful,’ he breathed. ‘Really magnificent!’

  Her chest was heaving as he studied her breasts. The shock of his gaze on her exposed chest terrified and excited her. Carefully, with strong fingers, he teased down the fabric of her bra and lifted each straining breast so it was free of its cup. It made her tits stand even higher and prouder as they rested on top. Her nipples were engorged and pointing straight at him; dark pink, quivering, desperate to be touched. But he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted. He traced his fingers around the orbs of her breasts, leaving the nipples orphaned and unloved, aching for attention.

  ‘I knew you’d have gorgeous breasts. You look like a girl with really, really beautiful tits. Good enough to eat.�
��

  He bent his head, his tongue escaping his mouth to touch her left nipple almost imperceptibly. It was barely a touch, but it sent a shock wave right through Alexia. She had never felt this kind of electricity in her life. Was it Tony? Or was it the fact that they could be discovered at any moment? She didn’t know why; all she knew was that she didn’t want him to stop.

  He took her nipple in his mouth and ran his tongue over it. She moaned and he smiled on hearing her reaction. With his free hand he reached for her other nipple and gave it a gentle tug. Alexia thought she would come then and there. Could that be possible? Just from having him play with her breasts? But the pressure was mounting and she wanted release, oh how she wanted it.

  Suddenly Tony stood up. ‘Damn, we can’t!’ he said.

  ‘What?’ The word almost exploded from her mouth. She felt as if a blast of cold air had suddenly enveloped her.

  Tony’s blue eyes were slightly cloudy. She felt his hardness pressing against her, and knew he wanted her. What was he playing at?

  ‘God, this is crazy, but Nathan needs me in the office. I only came in to get some blank contract copies. He’ll be wondering where the hell I am.’

  Nathan? Her head swam. Alexia suddenly felt very naked and very exposed. She pulled her blouse over her exposed breasts.

  ‘Oh God, that’s a shame!’ said Tony, and buried his head once more in her cleavage.

  She almost fell back over the table. He picked up his head again.

  ‘We have to do this – we absolutely have to –’ He gave a low growl. ‘But not now.’

  Alexia was embarrassed and furious. Her emotions were flying around faster than her hormones.

  ‘No, we don’t!’ she spat.

  ‘Hey, come on. It’s just bad timing. We have to …’

  ‘No, we don’t.’ She was emphatic. She frantically did up the buttons of her blouse, her breasts tucked safely back into the embrace of her bra. She was pushing her blouse back into her skirt and trying to compose herself.

  ‘You want to, you know you do. What’s wrong with that?’ Tony protested.

  ‘Look, you caught me. I was … I wasn’t thinking.’

  ‘Well, that’s your problem. Too much thinking. You just have to feel it – and, gorgeous girl, you are definitely feeling it …’

  He reached to put his hand on her hip but she twisted away.

  ‘No Tony, stick to Phillipa. She’s obviously happy with a knee-trembler in the office, but not me, OK?’

  She pushed past him and dashed out into the long corridor; she wanted to get away as quickly as possible. What the hell was going on in her life? She seemed to be spending all of it running away.

  As she reached the end of the corridor, she went to grab the door handle but stumbled on her heels as the door was flung open towards her. She suddenly found herself crashing into someone, then strong arms grabbed her shoulders and stopped her falling over. For a split second, she wondered what had happened. And then she smelt it, that soft, sexy aftershave. She looked up and realised that the person who was holding her up, holding her at arm’s length, was Nathan.

  They stood staring at each other. She was startled, he looked puzzled. She wanted to fall, fall straight into his arms as they seemed the safest place to be at that point.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, his voice as soft as the musk that invaded her nostrils and wrapped itself around her.

  He was tall, and lowered his head to look into her eyes. She knew she must look strange; slightly wild, upset, flushed. Their eyes locked. There was an expression on his face she couldn’t read. Not like the last time, this one was … Was what? Concern?

  She tried to speak, but couldn’t find her voice; she felt as if her lips were trembling. He looked down at her. His eyes seemed cloudy, troubled. She thought she felt him pull her towards him, but it was a tiny movement, almost imperceptible. Was she dreaming it? He looked at her mouth, and his own opened slightly with the merest hint of an intake of breath. Was he going to speak, or was he …?

  A noise behind her broke the moment. She saw Nathan lift his head to look past her. His face darkened and he let go of her, suddenly setting her back on her feet and withdrawing his hands. She turned and saw Tony coming out of the stationery cupboard, adjusting his balls through his trousers. The only thing at the end of the corridor was that cupboard. It must have been obvious where she’d been.

  She turned back to Nathan, who looked thunderous. But he kept his eyes fixed on Tony.

  ‘When you’re ready, Tony, we’re waiting for you.’ He was too classy to be openly angry or sarcastic, but Alexia could feel his displeasure. She was so close to him, how could she not?

  Then he was gone, through the door again without a backward glance.

  Tony sauntered up behind her. ‘Well, now the boss definitely thinks we’re doing it, we might as well make it official – when you’re ready, beautiful!’

  He ran a hand up the side of her hip, then disappeared through the door after Nathan.

  She stood for a moment, alone in the corridor, struck dumb.

  Then she heard herself spit out the words, ‘Bastard! ‘You arrogant fucking bastard!’

  Pent-up emotion exploded from her. Hot tears welled up behind her eyes and she felt her lungs heave. She was almost hiccupping, trying to catch her breath. She ran into the nearest toilet, straight into a cubicle, and locked the door behind her. She stood breathing hard, leaning her head against the door, her hand still on the lock, as if just getting in and slamming the bolt shut was the most she could do before all her energy abandoned her.

  She felt so confused, emotions whirling, writhing, competing for attention. Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan. She was banging her forehead against the door and saying his name out loud. When he’d held her shoulders, the way he’d looked at her, what was he thinking? She felt there was almost – almost – a “moment” between them? She didn’t trust herself, she must have imagined it.

  But then what did it matter now? He’d seen Tony. Then she knew exactly what he was thinking. He hadn’t even looked back at her as he left, just put her firmly back on her feet and disappeared. The tears were running down her face now. She let them fall and just waited until they stopped. She stood with her eyes closed. An eternity seemed to pass. Just breathing in and out. She opened her eyes and remembered Tony’s words about “making it official” now their boss thought they were “doing it”.

  She hated him! But she couldn’t deny she was so turned on by him. Her panties were still soaking. She pulled some toilet paper off the roll and pulled up her skirt to wipe herself lest she stain her clothes. As she pressed the tissue to herself she felt that deep need still there, lurking, reproaching her for thinking she could ignore it.

  Her fingers seemed to move on their own, without her permission. She started to stroke her clit, like a robot. She had to get rid of this feeling as it raked at her. She pressed and stroked, the pleasure suffusing her core, but almost as if the pleasure was happening in a dream. She parted her legs, her calf muscles taut as she balanced on her heels and the tension filled her limbs.

  She closed her eyes and this time it wasn’t Tony’s face that flooded her imagination but Nathan’s. Nathan’s soft gaze as he’d held her at the door. She stroked and stroked, remembering the smell of him, the heat of him. She let out a sharp, almost silent gasp at the thought of him. She clasped her free hand to her mouth; the room was empty but the tiny sound echoed around the tiled walls and came back to her ears as if the cry came from someone else. She stood breathing hard. Her palm was cupping her pussy, as if trying to comfort it, comfort herself. She needed comfort, but she also needed release, a release that seemed so far away.

  Suddenly she heard women’s voices, outside the door at first, and then inside as two secretaries came in, chattering. She tidied herself and smoothed down her clothes, wiping her juices off her hand. She flushed the toilet and came out to the washroom.

  The girls were in the cubicles
, still chatting to each other. She saw herself in the mirror, her eyes were moist, but she didn’t look as if she’d been crying; she looked strangely calm, or was that empty? She washed her hands then smoothed down her hair.

  She took a deep breath and pulled the door. As she went back through the corridor, she didn’t see Nathan look up from the office and see her going past, ash blonde, beautiful, troubled. He was troubled too.

  She went into the open-plan office and sat in silence. She ploughed through the rest of her work, trying to blot the afternoon from her mind. She was aware that she was getting glances from some of the men, but she didn’t care.

  At 5.30 she grabbed her coat and made for the door. She didn’t wait for Romy; she just needed to get home, back to her bedroom, her haven, as far away from work as fast as possible, away from Tony – and from Nathan.

  Once home, she ran into her bedroom and threw herself on the bed, burying her head in her beautiful blue/green cushions.

  Chapter Four

  Romy heard Alexia come home and padded into her bedroom. She found her friend face down on the bed.

  ‘Hey, what’s happened?’ she asked.

  ‘I have to leave, I can’t work there. I just can’t …’

  Alexia was crying softly, not wracking sobs, but little miserable moans that made her speech sound like a long one-note wail. She told Romy about her flight from the cupboard, and her gut-wrenching encounter with Nathan.

  ‘Oh sweetie! said Romy.

  She scooted up on the bed and sat with her arm around Alexia.

  ‘Come on, it’s not that bad.’

  ‘Bad? It’s awful!’ Alexia moaned.

  ‘Nothing’s happened really, it’s just that – well – Tony’s being a twat. And Nathan, well, he’s …’

  Romy took a deep breath and looked at Alexia’s face and crumpled shoulders. She was dripping with misery. She gave her a squeeze.

  ‘Look, Nathan is a really good guy. He’s not all strutting and full of piss and wind like the others, and you know, once he gets to know you …’

  ‘Well, that’s never going to happen, is it? I’m just a temp, remember.’