The Cry of the Marwing
Page 15
For a long time she simply leant against the door, but then she sat down at the table and forced herself to consider every unpalatable thing that had happened since her return to Sarnia. And, apart from the time immediately after her arrival, what was apparent was that Tierken had shunned her. And this night, he’d made his views on the worthlessness of bonding abundantly clear. Why, then, had he asked her to bond?
They had been in the shelter-hut in the Silvercades and the nightmare had woken her. Then they’d argued over Caledon. Her breath caught in her throat. Tierken had bonded with her to keep her from Caledon. The notion was so shocking that she struggled even to consider it. But then she realised that if Tierken had bonded with her only to keep her from Caledon, it didn’t mean that he didn’t love her, it meant that he didn’t trust her, and she already knew that.
Kira’s breath sifted between her teeth. It made her choices very clear indeed. Either she must wait for his trust and acceptance to grow, or she must break the bonding.
Kira felt physically ill. She had never known any member of Kashclan to break their bonding, for it was never entered into lightly, and never without love. And she did love Tierken. She rose and went to where the moonlight streamed in through the window. Then, with a shock, she realised that it was the first full moon of summer, and that meant Turning had already passed in Allogrenia. She was now eighteen, and Kandor would have been fourteen, had he lived. Kira squeezed her eyes shut and considered all the people who lay beneath the alwaysgreens, who’d been robbed of their chance to live – and to love.
There had been many times when her father had accused her of being untrustworthy, of not fulfilling her undertakings, of failing in her duties. And since then she had failed at so many other things: to protect Kandor, to share her knowing with Kest, to seek the Clancouncil’s permission to leave Allogrenia. And she had broken faith with Caledon. Was she now to fail at the most important undertaking of all? Her bonding?
Whatever Tierken’s motivations, she’d bonded with him in full knowledge of its implications. She loved Caledon, but with Tierken it was like finding another part of herself. And that meant that her only course was to wait for him to gift her his trust, no matter how difficult, or how long, that wait might prove to be.
25
It was dawn before Tierken left the banquet. Laryia and Tresen had been sent off to their rooms earlier – enveloped in the traditional storm of clapping and throws of white and red petals, and some of the older guests had gone to their beds soon after, leaving the dance floor to those of fewer seasons.
Tierken had overheard comments about Kira’s beauty all day. It had been Laryia’s special day, and his sister had looked exquisite, but Kira’s eyes, fairness and the gold in her hair and gown had set her apart. If she were his wife he could have kept her beside him and proudly shown her off, but he could hardly flaunt his woman in such a way. Instead, he’d had to watch her on Farid’s arm, and then endure her dancing with Caledon. He’d be glad when the Tallien was back in his own lands, despite his aid in battle.
Tierken paused outside his rooms and eased his tense shoulders, his nerves as knotty as they had been during the fighting, when attack could come from anywhere at any time. Laryia’s rooms were silent and Tierken doubted that Tresen would have the strength to bring his sister any joy this night. He found it ironic that Laryia had married a man too injured to take her in love, and he had taken in love a woman who refused to marry him.
Irid must have somehow got their fates mixed up!
As soon as the wedding guests had departed, he would send men to ensure the way was safe for Laryia and her new husband to make the journey south. They’d have to go around Watchan Spur, the easternmost end of the Azurcades, for horses couldn’t cross Shardos, and he’d need to consider how Terak patrols could be accommodated in the Tremen lands. He certainly wasn’t going to leave Laryia’s safety in the hands of Protectors.
Kira’s door suddenly opened and, startled by the unexpected movement, he spun, his hand going to the empty place at his belt.
‘I bid you a good morning, bondmate,’ she said.
She was dressed for riding, the dark green shirt and breeches hugging her slim form and reminding him of just where all her curves were.
‘I’d rather you didn’t call me “bondmate”,’ he said tightly.
‘Then I bid you a good morning, Feailner.’
‘Call me Tierken, like you usually do.’
‘Then I bid you a good morning, Tierken. Will you join me on a ride?’
‘I thought you’d be too tired. I presumed that was the reason you breached custom by leaving the celebrations before the married couple.’
‘I beg their pardon, and yours.’ Her voice was steady despite her lightening eyes. ‘I didn’t realise staying was a requirement,’ she said, quickly moving off.
‘I will ride,’ Tierken called after her.
Kira made no reply, moving in swift strides across the courtyard. She had saddled Brightwings and was just tightening Kalos’s harness when Tierken appeared, having changed into the browns and greens of a patrolman. They headed east till they reached the Steelwater, then turned south along its banks, Tierken riding by her side, but saying little, even when she asked him a direct question.
Kira wished she’d ridden alone after all. At least Brightwings seemed to enjoy the excursion, and was keen to go faster. On an impulse, Kira let the mare have her head and she sprang away. Kira crouched low in the saddle, urging her to greater and greater speed. Tierken shouted something, but the world was an exhilarating blur of river water and emerald grass. Then she heard the pound of Kalos alongside and Tierken leaned over and grabbed her rein.
He brought the mare to a violent stop, jumped down and wrenched Kira from the saddle.
‘Don’t – ever – do – that – again!’ he shouted.
Kira jerked back and they confronted each other, Tierken panting with fury, Kira shocked at being abruptly unhorsed.
‘Why not?’ she shouted back.
‘If she went down, she’d be killed and so would you!’
‘Ryn says she’s sure-footed.’
‘Nothing’s sure-footed at that speed,’ gritted Tierken. ‘I thought you’d outgrown your recklessness!’
‘I’ve never been reckless!’
‘Jumping from trees, jumping from windows, going to Kessom in snow-melt, taking pain. The list goes on. Shall I continue?’
‘Don’t bother.’ She snatched up the mare’s reins but Tierken’s hand fastened on her arm. Some of his anger stemmed from yesterday’s wedding, she knew, but her blood was up too. ‘I’m bonded to you Tierken, not married,’ she said, looking down at his hand. ‘You don’t own me.’
‘That’s not what marriage is!’
‘It’s not what bonding is either!’
He dropped his hand. ‘I want you to pledge that you won’t risk yourself,’ he said.
‘Pledge? You’re very keen on pledges, aren’t you – except your own.’
‘My own?’
‘Our bonding,’ said Kira tightly.
The look of contempt on his face was fleeting but unmistakable, and Kira quelled the impulse to leap on Brightwings and gallop away.
‘I know you don’t understand Tremen customs, Tierken. I know you think that because a bond can be broken, it will be broken. But it’s no more likely to be broken than a marriage. I’ve listened to your men brag of the women they’ve taken when they’re away from their wives. But when I bonded to you, I undertook to take no other lover and to spend the rest of my days with you. And I meant it.’
‘I suppose that explains why on the night your clanmate marries my sister, I found you in his arms.’
‘My clanmate was in such pain that I feared he would collapse,’ she said furiously. ‘I took his pain so that he might enjoy the rest of his wedding day with Laryia. And as you know, Feailner, taking pain leaves a residue of illness that takes a little time to pass.’
She swung h
erself back up onto Brightwings. ‘Tresen’s all I’ve got left and I love him. I won’t beg your pardon for that, Feailner!’
26
Kira resisted the urge to spite Tierken by galloping Brightwings flat out all the way back to Sarnia. While she was too angry to care whether she was flung to her death, she did care whether Brightwings was injured or killed. If Tierken really believed she’d take her clanmate as a lover – on his wedding day – then despite all her resolutions from the previous night, spending even one more moment in the Domain was pointless.
Kira couldn’t bear the thought of going directly to the Domain on reaching the city, so stopped at the Haelen. She hadn’t been there since she’d fled to Kessom and was relieved to see it was quiet now, with the pallets empty. She looked around in satisfaction, knowing that the northern wall gave a good supply of fireweed and that she need never again fear being unable to cure Shargh wounds.
Arlen was there, busy extracting a large splinter from a woodcutter’s hand, and Kira waited while he salved the wound and sent the man on his way.
‘It is good to see you, Tremen Leader,’ said Arlen with a bow.
‘It gladdens my heart to see you also,’ said Kira. ‘Can you tell me where the Protector Leaders are to be found?’
Seeing the Protector Leaders at the breakfast banquet had reminded Kira of how remiss she’d been in her responsibilities as Tremen Leader. She had been appalled to realise that she didn’t even know how many of her people were in Sarnia, let alone where they dwelled.
‘I know where Protector Leader Dendrin is,’ said Arlen. ‘But the others might be beyond the gates. We’ve been told by the Terak Feailner that we’re on leave until the next full moon. But now you’re here, surely it’s your commands we’ll be following?’
‘I’m in agreement with the northern Feailner’s present orders. You need time to rest and recover before returning to Allogrenia.’
‘There might not be many of us to return,’ said Arlen.
Kira faltered, dismayed to realise that she’d also failed to inquire about the Tremen dead.
She swallowed dryly. ‘How many of our people were killed?’
‘I don’t know exactly, Tremen Leader. I wasn’t thinking of those who can’t return to Allogrenia, I was thinking of those who might not want to.’
Kira eyed him closely, then smiled in relief. ‘What’s her name, Arlen?’
‘Resa. She’s the sister of Patrolman Rein, whose family I’m staying with. I thought I could work here in the Haelen, and make my trade that way – if you think there’s sufficient need of healing in Sarnia.’
‘There’s sufficient need of healing in Sarnia for many Healers,’ said Kira, finding the notion of trading healing repellent – but given how the city functioned, probably inevitable.
‘Protector Leader Dendrin says Terak will go to Allogrenia too,’ said Arlen. ‘Will they accompany you on your return, Tremen Leader, or go later?’
‘I’ve bonded to the Terak Feailner and will remain here.’
‘But you’re the Tremen Leader,’ gasped Arlen.
‘Healer Tresen will likely replace me – if the Clancouncil judges him the best Healer, of course.’
‘You’re our best Healer,’ insisted Arlen.
Kira moved towards the door. ‘When you see Protector Leader Dendrin, please send him to me at the Domain. I need to speak with him.’
When there was a knock at her door a short time later, Kira expected it to be Dendrin, but it was Tierken. He was still in high temper from their argument that morning but Kira was determined not to continue the quarrel. Instead she was about to take the opportunity to ask him about the number of Tremen dead, when she realised that her people in Allogrenia wouldn’t even know that the fighting had ended.
‘They won’t know for at least two more moons,’ confirmed Tierken.
‘But they’ll fear they’ll have to deal with a victorious Shargh with too few Protectors to defend them.’
‘Blame Kasheron for taking his followers so far south,’ said Tierken. ‘It’s a long journey from here. But I didn’t come –’
‘I must know how many Tremen were killed in the fighting.’
‘I can’t tell you,’ said Tierken impatiently.
‘But you know how many Terak were killed?’
‘Of course,’ said Tierken.
‘And Adris knows how many Tain died?’
‘I’m not familiar with the Protectors like I am with my own men,’ he explained tersely. ‘After Pekrash died, we combined forces, and then when the fighting came north, the Tremen were led by the Lord Caledon.’
‘So Caledon would know who was killed and where they’re buried?’ pursued Kira.
‘He’d know who was killed. But we followed Terak funeral practices.’
‘Which are?’ she asked.
‘Burning.’
‘But that means their voices have been silenced forever,’ she whispered.
‘The flames loose the spirit to the sky so that the spirits of the dead are all around us,’ said Tierken. ‘More lives would have been lost had we spent our strength seeking out groves and digging graves.’
Kira had paled and her eyes darkened, so distressed by his revelations that Tierken couldn’t resist taking her in his arms. The feel and scent of her flooded through him and he closed his eyes. He carried a residual weariness from the long days and nights of fighting, of not knowing which of his men would die next, or whether he would live to see another dawn, and he was weary of fighting her. He wanted her married to him, safe in Sarnia, her status assured, and a return to the predictable routine of patrolling and administering the city. But to have these things, he must continue with his stinking strategy. He released her and stepped away.
‘Stay with me, Tierken,’ she said, her face filled with longing. ‘We’ve only come together once since we bonded.’
‘That’s your choice. If I’d brought you back from Kessom as my wife, we’d be sharing rooms like Laryia and Tresen next door. As it is . . .’ He managed to shrug. ‘I’ve explained to you before that Sarnia doesn’t understand or accept bonding.’
‘That didn’t stop you sharing my bed earlier.’
‘It was ill considered,’ said Tierken. ‘Since I’ve been working closely with the trader leaders, I’ve come to understand more of the . . . subtleties of the city.’
Kira’s chin came up and he tensed for an argument.
‘I don’t think it’s Sarnia’s “subtleties” that are the reason, or that the city doesn’t understand or accept bonding,’ she said. ‘I think it’s you.’
It sounded like the Tallien’s words again and his suspicions about her relationship with Caledon flared.
‘You think or the Lord Caledon thinks?’ he demanded. ‘He’s expressed those sentiments about me to you before, and I don’t know how many times since. His reasons are obvious, for we both know he desires you. But what really intrigues me, Kira, is whether you desire him.’
‘I’m bonded to you!’
‘A temporary arrangement you can break whenever you feel like it.’
‘You can break the bonding too, Tierken. If you can’t tolerate the embarrassment of a Tremen bondmate, if you don’t want the seed of the contemptible Kasheron, if my gold eyes and Healer habits create too many difficulties for you as Feailner, if you no longer love me –’
Her voice broke and Tierken turned away, unable to bear the look on her face.
‘Lord Caledon will be able to supply a list of the Tremen dead,’ he said curtly. ‘I’ll ensure he records one before he departs on the morrow with King Adris. If you wish to farewell either of them, I suggest you get some sleep. They leave at dawn.’
27
When Kira arrived at the stables early the next morning, she was surprised to see two Terak patrols waiting there as well as Adris’s Guard. The horses stomped and snorted as Adris and Tierken stood conversing together, and Kira wondered whether the presence of the patrols meant that the Sa
rsalin was still under Shargh threat. If it were, the danger to the Tremen remained, she thought worriedly. Caledon stood a little apart, busy adjusting his mount’s harness, and Kira was careful to go to Tierken and Adris first, greeting Adris with a bow. She wished him a safe journey, and he replied courteously, then Tierken handed her a scroll.
‘The lists you requested from the Lord Caledon,’ he said.
Kira thanked him and went to Caledon, who was already mounted. ‘You have the lists, I see,’ he said.
‘How many, Caledon?’
‘Forty-eight.’
Kira’s shoulders sagged but she kept her voice steady as she asked, ‘Do you return home now, or journey south with Adris to Maraschin?’
‘I go south with the patrols to Maraschin, where we’ll leave the horses; then I’ll continue on foot with the patrols over the Azurcades to your lands.’
‘The patrols are going to Allogrenia – with you?’ gasped Kira.
‘Yes. The Feailner prepares the forest for the arrival of his sister. And given my acquaintance with Protector Commander Kest and the Clanleaders, he accepted my offer to ease what could be a difficult introduction between kin. I’d assumed he’d discussed these arrangements with you – as his bondmate and Tremen Leader,’ said Caledon.
Kira stared at him speechlessly and he gentled his voice. ‘Is there any message you would have me pass to your kin there, Kira?’
‘Just tell them I’m safe – and happy,’ she said.
‘I will tell them that if you wish,’ said Caledon, then leaned over the side of his horse and lowered his voice. ‘Remember your pledge to me.’
Kira nodded. ‘You’ll come to Sarnia again, won’t you, Caledon?’
‘If the stars will it. May their grace keep you safe, Kira.’
She nodded numbly as Tierken came and stood behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
Kira watched the party move off, wishing with all her heart that she was going with them. The Domain gate clanged shut and then Tierken’s hand steered her back across the courtyard.