by Pj Fiala
He broke the silence. “Did you call Jackie and Sandi this morning?”
Joci shook her head. “I never call Jackie before noon. Yikes, she’s crabby in the morning. Sandi worked this morning, so I’ll call her after two. Are you afraid I won’t do it?”
She smiled as she asked. Jeremiah was a great guy. He was a good person, but when he made up his mind, he would move heaven and earth to get what he wanted. Right now, he wanted to hear Joci sing, and he wanted babies. How was she going to get around that?
Jeremiah wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I can’t help it that I want to know the things about you that others know. I want to know everything there is to know.”
He never looked away from her, which she had quickly learned was his way of letting her know that he intended to get his way.
“I feel the same way, but you keep things from me.”
Jeremiah’s head jerked up. He furrowed his brows and stared into her eyes. “I haven’t kept anything from you.”
“Really? Why won’t you tell me why you keep LuAnn around? You said you couldn’t explain it.” Joci’s voice got quiet. “Are you committed to her in some way? Did you once have feelings for her…or do you still?”
Jeremiah stood up and walked around the table. He leaned down and pulled Joci to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. She could feel his heart beating a rapid rhythm.
“I have never loved anyone, Joci. Not until you. You’re it for me, babe. I need you to believe that.”
Jeremiah pulled back just enough so he could kiss her. It was gentle and sweet. A kiss that curled her toes just as much as one of his passionate kisses did.
When he ended their kiss, he moved his hands into her hair and cupped her nape in his hand. With his other hand, he ran his fingers down the side of her face.
“You are so perfect, Joci. I still can’t believe that God brought you into my life. I’m not like those other fuckers who treated you like shit. You need to start believing that.”
Joci smiled at him and looked into his eyes. She believed that he loved her, but once again, he was avoiding answering her question. She nodded and stepped back a little. She turned and started clearing the table.
Jeremiah knew he was going to have to tell her about LuAnn; he just couldn’t do it yet. He hated the wall she just erected between them. It made him feel cold and alone again.
He watched Joci move around the kitchen. He was at a loss for words. He decided to go back to the shop and let her have some time to herself. He kissed her on top of her head and told her he would be home at five o’clockish and left the house.
Joci didn’t know what she wanted to do. She had lost her enthusiasm for finishing the video for the Veteran’s Ride. She didn’t feel like unpacking boxes. Quite frankly, right now she felt like packing up and going back home. Maybe that’s what she would do—go home.
Five hours later, Joci’s phone rang. She wiped her hands on a towel and picked it up without looking at who was calling.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?” Jeremiah’s voice was tight.
“I’m at home.”
There was a long silence. “No, you aren’t. I’m here—and you aren’t. It doesn’t look like you’ve been here all afternoon. Where are you?”
She could tell he was trying to keep it light, but the tightness in his voice was a dead giveaway.
Joci sighed. “After you left for the shop, I decided to come home and clean up a little.” Her voice grew soft. “I didn’t feel like staying there any longer.”
Jeremiah sucked in a big breath. There was silence on the other end of the line while he tried to control himself. Joci looked at her kitchen, which was as clean as a whistle right now, and leaned against the counter.
With as much lightness in his voice as he could muster around the fear and tightness, Jeremiah said, “This is your home now, Joci.”
Joci closed her eyes. She couldn’t say anything.
“Are you coming home, baby?” Jeremiah was on the verge of smashing something. He hated that just when he thought they had moved so far forward they were moving backward again. He was going to have to tell her about LuAnn. He could hear Joci sniffling over the phone. Goddammit. “I’ll come and get you,” he said around a tightness he thought would choke him right off.
“No…I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Her voice was so soft he barely heard her.
22
Trust
Joci pulled into the driveway. The garage door was open, and Jeremiah was pacing. He turned and moved aside as she pulled in. He ran over, opened the door for her, and pulled her out of the car. Without saying anything, he took her hand and walked into the house. As soon as they were inside, he slapped the button on the wall to close the garage door and then drew her into the living room. He sat on the sofa and pulled her down next to him. He looked into her eyes for an impossible amount of time, trying to gauge her reactions.
“Tell me what was going on today. With you. With why you felt the need to leave here.”
She grimaced, unsure how she should answer. She licked her lips, trying to form the thoughts to answer that question.
“Were you leaving me?” His voice cracked.
Softly, so softly, he almost didn’t hear her, she murmured, “No. I needed space from you. I didn’t want to unpack anything else because that felt permanent. I wasn’t feeling very permanent after you walked out. You know if I can’t trust you, it will never work. If you can’t talk to me, I can’t trust you. We have a real problem here.”
Jeremiah closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. He swallowed hard and opened his eyes to look at her.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought. Not at first. At first, I thought you left me. But you didn’t take anything with you, so then I figured you needed some space.”
He got up and went to get a beer from the refrigerator. He looked at Joci to see if she wanted anything; she shook her head no. He walked back into the living room and sat next to her on the sofa and turned to look at her.
“LuAnn’s brother, Lance, was my best friend. We went to high school together. We went into the Marines together. We were inseparable. We managed to keep ourselves stationed together and then deployed together. I loved him like I love Dayton, Tommy, and Bryce.”
His voice cracked. Joci’s heart swelled for him. She figured there was going to be a sad end to this story. She reached forward and took his hand in hers.
“Lance’s parents died when LuAnn and Linda—their sister—were young. A lot like you and Jackie. Lance looked after them. Made sure they were safe. But he wanted to be a Marine so damn bad; we both did. So, he told them he had to go, but he would be back. An aunt and uncle watched over the girls. They were already in high school by that time, so it wasn’t like he was abandoning them. But he always knew when we were finished in the Marines, he would come back and finish taking care of them. He sent his checks home to them and called them all the time. He really loved them. By that time, Barbara was pregnant with the boys. Lance and I knew that, at least for me, my time in the Marines was almost over. I was coming home. Then we were deployed to Iraq.”
Jeremiah took a long pull off his beer. His chest heaved as he drew in a deep breath.
“We were under fire. It was horrible. It was chaotic, and we couldn’t see anything. The sand was always blowing, and the buildings are the same color as the sand. We couldn’t see shit, and we couldn’t hear shit because of all of the gun and mortar fire. My unit huddled behind an overturned vehicle to reload our weapons. We were mapping out our plan when Lance heard an incoming grenade. He threw me down on the ground and then lay over me to protect me.”
Jeremiah’s eyes welled with tears. He took a deep breath. His voice was very quiet. “He didn’t make it,” he choked.
Joci leaned forward and hugged him tight. She rubbed his back and held him while he composed himself. He wrapped his arms around her and let the tears flow. T
hey sat that way for a very long time. She rubbed her hands over his back and through his hair, anything to soothe. Finally, he pulled away and wiped his eyes.
“I don’t love LuAnn; I never have. But I feel that because of me, she doesn’t have Lance anymore. She doesn’t have anyone to take care of her. She always was wild and unfocused. Where will she work if I don’t keep her at the shop? I owe it to Lance to make sure she has a paycheck, that she’s somehow taken care of.”
Joci didn’t know what to say. She sure hadn’t expected this. Now she felt like crap. She swallowed and placed her hand on his jaw, looking deep into the green orbs she loved so much.
“Jeremiah…” she said, “Lance wasn’t asked to save you. He loved you and wanted to protect you. You don’t owe him. There is no way you can repay him, except to live a good life and be good to people. You have the Veteran’s Ride every year to help give back to people just like yourself and Lance. You can’t live your life trying to pay back a debt that isn’t payable.”
She looked into his eyes, seeking, searching for words to comfort.
She took a deep breath. “That being said…I understand why you would want to try. I do understand it.”
She continued rubbing his back. “We have to find some way to make LuAnn understand that you love me and that she can’t keep interfering.”
Jeremiah nodded. “I know, and believe me, I’ve been wracking my brain. She’s always sought a certain amount of attention from men. But she’s been especially nasty since you’ve been coming around. Maybe she’s afraid of losing the bit of security she has at Rolling Thunder because she views you as a threat to that.” They leaned back into the sofa and sat staring straight ahead for long moments.
Their hands were linked, and she absently rubbed circles with her thumb. “Thank you for telling me, Jeremiah. I needed to know what it was.”
He kissed the top of her head and took a deep breath.
His voice was raspy when he said, “It feels like a weight has been lifted…talking about it. I’ve never told anyone that before.”
Joci looked over and furrowed her brows. “Really?”
Jeremiah shook his head. “Really. It’s just too personal…and I feel guilty.”
“LuAnn and Linda don’t know?”
Jeremiah sighed. “They know I was with him when he was hit. They don’t know that he saved my life.”
Joci wrapped her arms around him. “I’m very glad he did.”
“I need you, Joci,” he whispered.
Without a word, she stood and took his hand, pulling him to the bedroom. Once inside, she urged him to lie on the bed. She began unbuttoning his jeans while he consumed her lips, her tongue. She enjoyed running her hands over him. Feeling his heated skin under her fingers was a thrill. It was like running her hands over freshly laundered cotton. A bit of texture, warm from the dryer and the scent one she wanted to inhale.
Her lips kissed and licked up his chest, paying special attention to each nipple. She pushed his arms up over his head so she could slide his shirt off. Gently running her hands over his body, feeling the plains and ridges of his muscles, watching them quiver under her touch, she met his eyes. “You’re a good-looking man, Jeremiah Sheppard.”
She stepped back long enough to divest him of his jeans and boxers. She admired him lying across their bed, naked, aroused, and allowing her to do as she wanted to him. A light shiver winged through her body. Goosebumps grew on her arms, and her nipples puckered tight. She pulled the remainder of her clothing off and slid her hands up his massive thighs as she stood between them.
Her hands roamed his body, enjoying the feel of his skin on hers. She bent down and licked his balls as her hands found his thick erection and massaged him root to tip. Jeremiah hissed out a breath. She smiled against his balls, placed a few light kisses and stood. She reached over to the nightstand and pulled out some massage oil, squirted some in her palms and rubbed them together to warm it.
Jeremiah’s eyes never left hers. He reached over and grabbed a pillow to prop his head. She smiled as she wrapped her fingers around his thickness and began to pump him up and down, the oil making his cock so silky and smooth under her fingers.
“Jesus,” Jeremiah husked out.
She smiled again at the coarseness in his voice. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and his cock jerked in her hands. She smiled again. “I want to make you come with my hands, Jeremiah.”
“Jesus.”
Joci increased the pressure and speed of her manipulations. She alternated between watching his cock slip through her fingers and watching his face. He was beautiful, this man of hers. She wanted to make him come without him having to do anything for her.
She slid one of her hands over his balls, and they pulled up inside of him. As she reached the tip of his cock, she ran her thumb over the head, causing pre-cum to form. Jeremiah’s breathing grew choppy, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He fisted the comforter on the bed and threw his head back as his muscles tightened. “Joci…fuck...baby.”
She watched the ropes of semen spurt from him as she slowed her manipulations. His cock pulsed as he groaned. Once he had emptied himself, she gently massaged him as he softened. She walked to the bathroom to wet a cloth so she could wipe him up as he regulated his breathing. Softly she swiped the warm cloth across his abdomen, cleaning him. She tossed it into the bathroom hamper and slid into bed beside him.
He quickly wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He swallowed a few times. “I’ve never done that before. Fucking amazing.”
Joci smirked. “I’ve never done that before, either. Fucking amazing is right.”
23
Family
Thursday night found Jeremiah and Joci sitting in his parents’ living room, celebrating Eli’s, Bryce and Angie’s youngest, graduation. The whole family was there, including Gunnar.
Gunnar nudged Joci’s arm. “I invited JT, Ryder, and Connor to listen to the Golden Girls on Saturday.”
“It appears the crowd is growing. I’m going to need to practice; we haven’t done this for a long while.” She would tell Jeremiah as soon as they had a minute alone with each other. They hadn’t seen Connor since the birthday party. “What made you decide to ask Connor?”
Gunnar looked into her eyes. “He called me the other day to talk. I feel sorry for him. He said he didn’t mean to make things weird; he just feels the way he feels.” He shrugged and looked across the room to Jeremiah talking with his brothers. “I’ll catch ya later.” He walked outside where Ryder and JT were sitting on the deck drinking beer.
Staci sat down next to Joci and patted her on the knee.
“Looks like you and Jeremiah are doing well. How are you?”
Joci smiled. “I think we’re good.”
She looked over at Jeremiah talking to his brothers. He glanced at her and winked. Her smile grew. “We’re really good.”
She blushed. Staci giggled and nudged her. “We’re thrilled, you know. He has never, in all the years I’ve known him, looked so happy. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”
Angie joined them and soon so did Erin. They talked about kids and Joci moving in with Jeremiah, family and all that was going on.
Jeremiah glanced at his mom and saw that she was watching him. She smiled, and he smiled back. She walked over and hugged him. “I can see you’re crazy for that girl. I love the look on your face when you look at her. You look happy.”
Jeremiah snickered. “God, Ma, I’m so happy I could bust.”
Emily looked over at Joci with her daughters-in-law and nodded her head. “What are you going to do about it?”
Jeremiah leaned down close to her ear, and said, “Mom, I’m going to marry her. I’d like to have babies with her, but...” He shrugged.
His mom glanced at him, then back to her daughters in law. “Does she know that?”
Jeremiah’s brows drew together. “About the marriage, not yet. I don’t think she wants to have ano
ther baby. I’ve brought it up a couple of times, and she gets scared and changes the subject.”
Emily shook her head. “Don’t you think that’s because she doesn’t want to be a single mother again? Even if you would marry her if she got pregnant, she may not want you to marry her because you have to. She would more than likely only want to get married because you wanted to marry her. The baby could—and should—come after.” Emily stared into his eyes and raised her eyebrows.
He took in his mother’s expression. “You’re a smart woman, Mom. I didn’t think of it that way.”
She became slightly exasperated. “Jeremiah, you’re my son, and I love you to death, but you’re such a…man. Treat that girl right and you’ll have a happy life.”
His gaze slid over to Joci and his sisters-in-law. “Thanks, Mom.” He took a step towards the women and turned back to his mom. “Just so you know…” A sly smile creased his face. “One of the things I think she loves about me is that I’m a man.” He smirked and winked at her and started toward the lady in his life.
He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his pocket. He swiped his thumb across the screen and tapped the text message. He began reading and then froze. His brows furrowed. His heart raced like he was flying down the highway at midnight with no headlight. Sweat beaded on his forehead. His eyes darted to Joci. The icy dread that filled his stomach almost brought him to his knees when his eyes met hers.
She stood and walked to him. “Are you okay? Your face just drained of color, and you look like you’re going to be sick. Come on and sit down.” She led him to a chair in the kitchen and immediately touched his forehead. She frowned, turned toward the sink and wet some paper towel with cool water. She placed the towels on his forehead as she knelt before him. “Are you going to be sick, Jeremiah?”
The concern in her eyes made his stomach roil. He took the towel from her hand and laid it on the table. “I’m okay, babe. Just dizzy for a minute. Don’t fuss.”
