by Pj Fiala
She clucked. “Get used to it. If you’re sick, I’m going to take care of you.”
He pulled her up to his lap and lay his head on her shoulder. “Just give me a minute. I need to let my heart slow down.”
She held him, her arm around his large shoulders, her other hand gently soothing his face. He’d grown a beard, and the hair now felt soft and silky where before the stubble had felt like sandpaper to her skin. He was warm, and his heart was still pounding away against her ribs. She’d make sure he went to the doctor first thing tomorrow.
Emily walked into the kitchen and caught Joci’s eye. “Everything okay in here? Jeremiah?”
He lifted his head and looked at his mom. “Yes, I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy—it’s nothing.”
“People don’t just get dizzy. Has this happened before? When was the last time you went to the doctor and had a check-up?”
Jeremiah inhaled deeply. He picked Joci off his lap and stood her next to him. He rose from the chair and said, “It hasn’t happened before. I can’t remember my last appointment with Dr. Jerzak, but I will call him tomorrow. I’m fine, really.” He dropped his phone into his pocket and took Joci’s hand. “Do you mind if we go home?”
Joci looked in his eyes. “No. Of course not. I’ll drive.” She smiled as she held her hand out for the keys to his truck. He frowned for a minute and then reached into his pocket and handed them to her.
“I don’t need to go to the doctor, I’m fine. I had a couple of beers in a short amount of time, and it hit me.” He finished pulling his hair into his signature ponytail and looked at Joci in the mirror. He saw her lips turn down into a frown, and he felt bad. Stepping closer to her, he whispered close to her ear, “You’re stuck with me for a good long time.”
She smiled sweetly, her dimples winking at him as she lifted one shoulder. “I’m counting on it.” She swiped the lip gloss across her lips, and he had the powerful urge to immediately lick it off. The light reflected on her perfectly shaped lips, and he balled his fists together. “You told your mom you’d call Dr. Jerzak today.”
He frowned. “I’ll deal with my mom.”
His phone chirped, and he grabbed it as he stepped out of the bathroom. Tapping the screen a few times he entered the password for his voicemail.
“Dog, it’s Deborah. You didn’t respond to my text last night. We need to talk about this. I don’t know what to do. I’m stopping by Rolling Thunder later to talk. Bye.”
There it was again, that icy cold dread planting itself in his stomach. His heart began racing, and he broke out in a sweat. He walked to the sliding patio doors and opened them. Sucking in the fresh air, he leaned against the door frame trying to figure out what to do.
“Are you feeling sick again?”
He swung around and plastered on a fake smile. His face felt wooden and just smiling took a huge effort. “No.” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat again and with more air than he felt he had in his lungs, he said, “No. Just checking the weather.”
Joci’s brows drew together; she glanced outside and then into his eyes. She raised her brows. “Really?”
He nodded and pulled the door closed. Flipping the lock, he stepped into the kitchen. “I don’t have time to eat anything, so I’ll see you later, okay?”
He walked toward the door to the garage, but Joci stopped him.
“Jeremiah?”
He quietly took a deep breath. He turned to face her. “Yeah?”
“What’s going on?” She crossed her arms in front of her and stood directly in front of him. His eyes searched her face, and his stomach twisted a bit tighter.
“Nothing. I have an issue with Chase to deal with this morning, and I almost forgot about it. I need to get there before the day gets busy.”
He leaned forward and pecked her on the lips, then quickly turned and left.
24
This is bad
“I don’t know what to think, Sandi. His behavior was weird this morning. I’m trying not to let my mind wander, but shit—the feeling in the pit of my stomach isn’t good.”
Sandi reached across the lunch table and squeezed Joci’s hand. She smiled her brightest smile, which made Joci worry more. The fake smile was never good.
“Don’t read too much into this. He runs a growing company, and there are bound to be times when he is preoccupied or busy.” She released Joci’s hand and picked up her menu. “What are you having for lunch? I’m starving.”
Hmm, changing the subject wasn’t good either.
Joci walked into Rolling Thunder from the garage entrance. Gunnar was working on a bike at his station, so she headed over to him. “Hey there, how’s your day going?”
Gunnar turned and smiled brightly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, without touching her with his dirty hand. “Hi. What brings you here?”
Joci looked around the garage. She didn’t want to seem like a stalker, but she couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that something was wrong. “I just stopped to see Jeremiah. Is he in his office?”
Gunnar nodded. He reached forward and picked up a grease rag and wiped his fingers. “Yeah. He’s been up there most of the day. Go on up.”
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, honey. You doing okay?”
He smirked. “Yeah. You?”
She looked toward the door to the store. Absently, she responded, “Yeah. I’m good. Talk to you later, okay?”
She walked toward the store, her stomach a little queasy. The door from the garage into the shop opened directly to the parts counter and just beyond that were the parts shelves, to the left the sales floor and to the right, the clothing. There were several customers milling about. JT was helping a customer at a desk on the sales floor. Janice was speaking to a customer in clothing. LuAnn was speaking to a tall brunette with short spiky hair and a protruding baby bump. When she saw Joci, she nodded her head toward Joci and the brunette turned and smiled at her then quickly turned to LuAnn. They whispered to each other, and as Joci walked past them, they giggled loudly.
Heaving out a breath to keep herself calm, she refused to look at them again. Climbing the stairs was difficult as her knees felt weak. Today was weird—she’d like a do-over.
Jeremiah’s door was open, and he sat staring out the window that looked out over the parking lot. He looked sad. Lost in thought. But he was still the sexiest man she’d ever known. His broad shoulders seemed to slump forward, and his hands were at his sides, balled into fists.
“You look pensive.”
He swung around, his eyes large and shocked. It took him a moment to compose himself, but she saw the shutter close in his eyes. He cleared his throat, but when he spoke, his voice was gravelly. “Hey. What brings you here?”
Joci’s brows furrowed. She stepped into his office, and he didn’t move toward her. That was the first time he held himself back. Wait. Nope, it was the second time; the first was this morning when he left. She swallowed the large lump in her throat. Softly she said, “I just had lunch with Sandi, and I wanted to see you. You seemed preoccupied this morning, and I was worried.” She looked into his eyes, noted his jaw clench and tighten, and his hands flexed open then closed again.
“I’m fine, Joci. Just busy.” He walked toward her and kissed the top of her head before he turned and sat at his desk. Tears sprang to her eyes. This was it. She shouldn’t have moved in with him; it was too soon.
25
The Golden Girls
Joci stood in the closet trying to decide what to wear. She was as nervous as a cat tonight. She had gone out plenty of times with Jackie and Sandi to sing Karaoke, but it had always been impromptu. This felt staged and planned, and she had butterflies beyond belief. She had even gotten together for lunch with the girls today to practice. They thought she was being silly, but she didn’t want to embarrass herself or Jeremiah. Now, what to wear?
“There you are. What’s up?”
Joci turned to look at Jeremiah standing
in the doorway of the closet. Did he always have to look perfect?
“I don’t know what to wear. I’m nervous,” she said softly.
Jeremiah walked toward her and slid his hand in her hair. As he cupped her head, he leaned down and kissed her softly.
Looking intently into her eyes, he husked out, “You could wear a sack and still look perfect, babe. But maybe I can help.”
He walked past her to the closet and pulled a little package off a top shelf. He handed it to her with a smile on his face.
“I bought this for you.”
She opened the package and pulled out a beautiful gray blouse. Its capped sleeves and crystals decorating the front were beautiful, the crystal buttons ended, creating a low V. The material felt silky and soft in her hands and sliding through her fingers.
She looked up at Jeremiah and smiled. “Thank you. It’s just beautiful.”
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed his lips softly and tenderly, and she shivered when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.
“I don’t know when you had time to shop for me; you’ve been preoccupied this week, but thank you.”
He squeezed her one more time and pulled his head back to look into her eyes.
“I think about you all the time, Joci. You’re always in my thoughts. And, I’m sorry I’ve been a bit in the clouds this week. Just a lot on my mind.”
She squeezed him again and turned to head toward the bathroom for a shower. She placed her hand over her tummy to quell the fluttering.
At eight-thirty, they were walking into Purcell’s to meet their friends.
Sandi jumped up and hugged Joci when she saw them. Saying hello to Jeremiah, she pulled Joci forward to a group of tables she had pulled together to accommodate their large group. Sandi and Jon, Jackie and David, Gunnar, JT, and Ryder were already there. Joci looked back at Jeremiah and saw his scowl. She followed his line of sight to Connor as he walked in. She tightened her lips as she caught his eye. He sheepishly nodded once and joined her at the table.
A waitress came and took their drink order as the first Karaoke singer went up on stage, and the show started. Joci blew out a long breath and said, “I’m going to need a few drinks before I can get up there.”
“Dog? God, that is you. How are you, darling?” a seductive, smoky voice purred.
Joci turned to see the tall brunette from Rolling Thunder the other day, standing next to them. Jeremiah’s jaw tightened. “Deborah. What are you doing here?”
Deborah leaned forward and took Joci’s hand in hers, pumping once. “Hi. I’m Deborah. I believe I saw you at Rolling Thunder the other day.” She ran her hand slowly over her baby bump, and a sickening feeling hit Joci.
Deborah’s eyes slid to Jeremiah. “Have you told her yet?”
Joci looked at him and saw how pale he’d become. His chest rose and fell, and she could see the sweat bead up on his forehead.
“Told me what?” Though at this point she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to know.
Deborah’s smile crept across her face. “Dog is about to be a da—”
“No,” he barked out. “No, I’m not. It’s not mine. I’ve told you until you agree to a paternity test, I refuse to claim it.”
Joci’s world began tumbling out of control. Her vision dimmed as the voices around her faded to the sound of the thrumming of her blood through her veins. Her knees threatened to give out, and she swayed. Strong arms wrapped around her and picked her up. The last thing she remembered was seeing the ceiling rush past her line of sight and the scent of Jeremiah.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He eased Joci into the seat of his truck and reached across to buckle her in. She turned her head toward him, and her eyes slowly came open. She stared at him, though he didn’t think she was seeing him.
He heard the voices of their families walking toward them. Jackie, Joci’s sister, came running.
“Joci. Baby, wake up. Are you okay?” Jackie pushed him out of the way and patted Joci’s cheeks—her forehead furrowed in concern, her voice near panic.
Joci’s eyes focused on her sister. “Jackie. Did you hear that?” She sobbed. Then the tears gushed out. “Did you hear?” She openly cried. “He’s having a ba…ba…by—with someone else.” Joci’s arms snaked around her sister’s shoulders as she sobbed into Jackie’s neck.
Jackie patted her sister lovingly, smoothing her hand over Joci’s hair and whispering soft words of comfort in her ear.
Hearing Joci’s anguished cries, Jeremiah turned and emptied the contents of his stomach on the parking lot. His back was so tight the retching hurt, but he didn’t care. He wanted the pain right now. He wanted to feel so much pain—anything to block out the sound of Joci’s crying because of him.
26
Is it your baby?
“I can walk myself.” She slapped Jeremiah’s hands away as he tried helping her from the truck. She’d eventually calmed down, thrown up, and then went into a state of disbelief.
Jeremiah blew out a breath and stood to the side of the truck, waiting for her to jump out. She stepped down then pulled her shirt down. The very shirt he had lovingly given her just a few short hours ago, while knowing he was lying to her. She numbly walked around the front of the truck and to the door leading into the house. His house. Not hers. Not anymore.
She stepped to the cupboard above the sink, pulled a glass from the shelf and filled it with water, watching the water bubble and spin as it filled her glass. These stupid mundane thoughts kept her sane. She had been so careful all these years not to fall in love, not to get hurt. This was why. The pain was unbearable. She felt numb.
“We should talk.” His voice was raspy. Weary even. He wanted to talk.
She raised the glass to her lips, almost in slow motion, and drank. The cool water slid down her warm throat, cooling her from the inside. She enjoyed the feeling of…feeling—for just a moment. Setting the empty glass on the counter, she sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Turning to face him for the first time since ’the news,’ she looked into his eyes. The sadness and pain she saw there threatened her equilibrium. It was dizzying dealing with all these emotions. Seeing them written on his face was almost devastating.
Her voice barely above a whisper, she asked, “How long have you known?”
He took a step forward, and she swiftly held her hand up to halt him. She never took her eyes from his. “How. Long?”
He released a shaky breath. “Since Wednesday at Mom and Dad’s.”
She nodded her head. “So, you weren’t dizzy or sick?”
He raised a hand palm up then let it drop like a hot rock. “I was dizzy and sick. She…Deborah…”
At the sound of her name, Joci turned to look at the picture she had just this morning hung on the wall of her and Jeremiah at the Veteran’s Ride. How happy they looked, holding hands as they spoke to friends. But she was finished with tears.
“Texted me. When I saw the text, I felt physically ill.” He turned and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, twisted the cap and tossed it on the counter. He gulped down the majority of it before leveling his eyes on hers.
“She was at the shop because I didn’t return her text or her voicemail. She wanted to talk about the ba….” He swallowed. “Her pregnancy.” He finished off his beer, set the empty bottle on the counter and briskly strode to the patio doors. Wrenching them open, he sucked in several deep breaths.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Joci crossed her arms in front of her, her jaw set. She hated lying more than she hated anything else. Now that the shock was wearing off, she was pissed.
He turned toward her, hooked his thumbs in his jeans and set his jaw. “I wanted to be sure before I knew anything. For the record, I don’t think it’s mine. I did have sex…” He faltered as she turned her head. She turned back to him and looked into his eyes and waited.
“I had sex with her. Once. Many months ago. I’ve been trying to r
emember, but honestly, it just didn’t mean that much. I just wanted to get laid. You wouldn’t go out with me.”
Joci flew into a rage. “Don’t. You. Dare.” Each word punctuated with a finger jab. Her eyes shrunk as she squinted at him, she was nearly yelling. “Don’t you dare blame this on me. If you had kept your cock in your pants, we wouldn’t be dealing with this now.”
He looked down and quickly back up. “Jesus. I wasn’t blaming you. I’m trying to explain. If you can’t stand here and listen, don’t ask me the fucking questions.” His voice grew louder with each word. He turned and stalked to the living room and then swiftly came back. Still in a state, he finished, his voice a bit calmer, “You wouldn’t let me touch you. I was horny. Deal with it. But that was probably eight months ago. She’s not eight months’ pregnant.” He slammed his fist on the top of the counter. “I don’t know what her game is, but that kid isn’t mine.” He stalked back to the living room.
Joci followed him, saw him standing at the picture window and flopped on the sofa. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them. Resting her chin on her knees, she stared at the blank television screen, a faint reflection of herself staring back. She felt the sofa dip. His scent floated over her, and she closed her eyes.
Softly, she said, “Why would she do this? Why would she say it’s yours if it isn’t? Did she ask for money?”
He shook his head but didn’t say anything. They sat quietly for long moments.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “LuAnn.” She turned toward him. “Deborah is friends with LuAnn. I saw them talking when I walked in the shop the other day, and they giggled when I walked past them.”
Jeremiah turned his head and stared. When she met his gaze, her lips thinned, then turned down. He flung himself back against the sofa and let out a string of curses that would make the devil himself blush.
