So Far Away

by P. O. Dixon

  § Everything Will Change Series

  Lady Elizabeth (Book 1)

  So Far Away (Book 2)

  So Far Away Audiobook

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  Table of Contents

  ~*~

  Chapter 1 ~ Home Again

  Chapter 2 ~ A Great Tax

  Chapter 3 ~ Not a Lady

  Chapter 4 ~ Undisguised Curiosity

  Chapter 5 ~ Sufficient Encouragement

  Chapter 6 ~ But a Dream

  Chapter 7 ~ The Most Deserving

  Chapter 8 ~ A Much Better Man

  Chapter 9 ~ Misplaced Jealousy

  Chapter 10 ~ His Own Deficits

  Chapter 11 ~ However Unwittingly

  Chapter 12 ~ Free to Indulge

  Chapter 13 ~ Speaking in Jest

  Chapter 14 ~ Lofty Connections

  Chapter 15 ~ Into the Shadows

  Chapter 16 ~ An Unspoken Commitment

  Chapter 17 ~ His True Character

  Chapter 18 ~ Ponder the Matter

  Chapter 19 ~ At Your Service

  Chapter 20 ~ A Pleasant Trip

  Chapter 21 ~ Not Wholly Unfounded

  Chapter 22 ~ Utterly Uncontrolled

  Chapter 23 ~ So Far Away

  Chapter 24 ~ Imagine You There

  Chapter 25 ~ Hope for a Future

  Chapter 26 ~ Proof Enough

  Chapter 27 ~ Extraordinary Application

  Chapter 28 ~ Words of Approbation

  Chapter 29 ~ A Tender Moment

  Chapter 30 ~ Incandescently Happy

  Acknowledgments

  The Author

  Featured Books

  Other P. O. Dixon Books

  Chapter 1 ~ Home Again

  In this, the first chapter of the next part of Elizabeth’s life, it must be said that some things were just meant to be. Others simply were not. Were she asked if she had the power of turning back the hands of time, Elizabeth would be hard pressed to fashion a fitting response with certitude. Returning to the bosom of the Bennet family was meant to be a happy occasion. Pray she would soon realize what a blessing it was—for the Bennets as well as herself. However, it was hardly a blessing to have her whole world turned upside down. Frightening is what it was.

  Would that she never knew what it was like to grow up surrounded by such a loving family. Then the separation might not hurt so much. Even if Avery, Lady Sophia, and she remained a part of one another’s lives, things would never be the same.

  The hardest part of it all was that she had no one she could speak with to sort out the confusing emotions without the risk of giving offense to someone or another. The one person who might understand a modicum of what she was suffering was far away in Derbyshire.

  Tearing her eyes away from the carriage window, Elizabeth looked at her sister Jane. Catching each other’s eyes, a happy smile spread over both young ladies’ faces. Their reunion was a blessing indeed. What a joy it was to have her Jane back after all those years. From the time she learned of her true life, Elizabeth had endeavored to recall what she could of her early childhood. Glimpses of the times Jane and she had spent together as small children, though fleeting, sometimes made the briefest of returns over the past week.

  Jane had been a true angel, as well as a source of prodigious information that Elizabeth duly needed to puzzle over in order to piece together what she was to expect of her new life. Then again, Jane would only provide the most flattering accounts of everything and everybody, and Elizabeth soon began to suspect her sister had a view of the world that did not completely meet with realistic sensibilities. Surely there was something of less than perfection in the world Elizabeth was set to embrace.

  Elizabeth wondered about her parents, Mr. Thomas Bennet of Longbourn, and her mother, Mrs. Francine Bennet, whom she sometimes heard her aunt Mrs. Gardiner refer to as Fanny.

  Fanny. What a whimsical name, Elizabeth considered upon first hearing it mentioned, which led her to suspect her mother, Mrs. Bennet, might be a bit fanciful, with hardly a care in the world about the sort of weighty concerns that often pressed upon her mother Lady Sophia.

  She quietly sighed. How am I to make sense of this newfound knowledge that I have not one but two mothers? Elizabeth asked herself any number of such questions designed to give herself a modicum of assurance over what would be a rather unclear next few days, weeks, and months as she navigated the uncharted sea of uncertainty that stretched before her.

  Elizabeth could hardly think about the future without her thoughts drifting once again to the past. Her mind balked at the notion of leaving everything behind. Everything she thought she knew about herself had changed, and this was only the beginning.

  She stared longingly out the window.

  “Pray what is the matter, my dear? You have grown rather quiet in the past ten minutes.”

  Elizabeth knew not what to say in the wake of her fluctuating emotions, and thus she remained silent. She reached out her hand in welcome of Mrs. Gardner’s outstretched hand. Squeezing it, she gave her aunt a tentative smile.

  Mrs. Gardiner said, “No doubt this is a great deal to comprehend and in such a short amount of time. I dare say there is no cause for unnecessary worry. Or are your thoughts in Derbyshire still, along with your heart?”

  Elizabeth did not feel it was best to dwell on the matter of her heart at that moment. Saying goodbye to Mr. Darcy was far harder than she would have imagined it would be. With Avery and Lady Sophia, there was hope for a family reunion. However, in the absence of an engagement with Mr. Darcy, there was no telling when they might see each other again or even if they would see each other.

  Would he wait for her? If yes, how long a wait might she consider reasonable?

  How long is too long?

  Then, too, there was the more weighty matter that had to do with his feelings about her true connections. Mr. Darcy had all but confessed that he did not particularly like the Bennets of Longbourn. That was but one of the reasons she had done all she could to hold at bay any proposal of marriage she suspected he was on the verge of making just before they parted at Pemberley.

  How might I possibly accept a life with him when my future with my Bennet family is so uncertain?

  As much as she had appreciated his comforting presence and his reassurance during those last days at Pemberley, Mr. Darcy’s magnificent Derbyshire estate, she had to wonder if his sentiments would stand the test of what she was now embarking upon.

  Her life was no longer defined by excellent breeding, untold wealth, status, and privilege by virtue of noble birth. The thing that had once bonded Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy – both their mothers being the daughters of peers – was no more. On the other hand, a future between them was not entirely out of the question in light of what she suspected would be her wholly reduced circumstances.

  Though I am not truly the granddaughter of a peer, I am indeed a gentleman’s daughter. This alone makes Mr. Darcy and me equals.

  Elizabeth could not deny that Mr. Darcy’s finding her Bennet family entirely objectionable when he met them last year might indeed prove insurmountable. She now knew enough of the story of how Mr. Darcy had come to Netherfield with his friend Mr. Charles Bingley at Michaelmas. During that time, he had been made aware of life-changing information, and he simply would not rest until he knew it all.

  A subsequent meeting with her grandfather, Victor Montlake, the then Duke of Dunsmore, in an attempt to advise him of the fraud that had been perpetrated against the Montlake family, had ended badly. Thinking Mr. Darcy had met with her grandfather with ill intentions, the outcome of which had led to his untimely death, was enough for Elizabeth to distrust the former exceeding
ly and endeavor to keep him at arm’s length. Even then, she could not say she disliked Mr. Darcy, but needing someone to blame for His Grace’s death, she attributed it to Mr. Darcy.

  How wretched she felt upon learning he had only meant to help her family, not harm them. Nevertheless, there was harm done. Her Montlake family was now torn apart. Elizabeth smoothed her black, bombazine gown. She still wore mourning attire, as she would continue to do for another few months. Indeed, it was but one of the reasons more of her things would not be sent to Longbourn—her new home. What use had she for fancy silk gowns and jewels?

  ~*~

  A flurry of dizzying emotions was rampant in the Bennet household: unbridled enthusiasm, regret, recriminations, anxiety, grief, and elation. Ever since Mr. and Mrs. Bennet had received word from their brother Mr. Gardiner that their second born child was alive and had been raised by a noble family and lived the life of an heiress, they did not know what to make of their good fortune.

  Mr. Bennet, at times, openly wept. His prayers had been answered. After all those years of wondering what it must be like to hold his little Lizzy in his arms, he needed to wonder no more.

  Mrs. Bennet, having at times secretly blamed her brother, his wife, and even her husband for the loss of her second-born child, feared what the sight of Lizzy would do to the elderly man who had worn his suffering for his daughter on his sleeve like a badge of honor. Despite having four other daughters, he would not think of any of them as his favorite. There could be but one favorite, his little Lizzy.

  Mr. Bennet, by now, was in a fair way of knowing Mr. Gardiner’s letter by heart. Sitting alone in his library, watching and waiting for signs of an approaching carriage, he brushed his hand over his wispy beard. To think, I owe my happy fortune all to Mr. Darcy.

  He threw a pensive glance about the room in recollection of the time the younger man and he had spent in that very room. Not for the first time, he wondered if Mr. Darcy had suspected a connection between the Montlakes and the Bennets even then.

  I must find a way to thank Mr. Darcy for being the means of reuniting me with my daughter. I surmise the great man may be somewhat whimsical in his civilities, and he may very well find it impertinent for me to write to him, but it is the only decent thing to do. With such a purpose in mind, Mr. Bennet opened his desk, retrieved a piece of paper, and commenced doing that which he really did not like doing at all—composing a letter.

  It was a rather confusing time for the younger daughters, who had simply accepted the fact that the second born daughter was little more than a cherished memory of their parents. The third eldest daughter, Mary, was a mere infant when Elizabeth vanished, and the two younger daughters, Kitty and Lydia, were not even born.

  Now, their second eldest sister, Lizzy, was returning to the fold, and the greatest question in the young girls’ minds was what would it mean for them? Specifically, what sacrifices were to be borne? Would Mary be expected to share her piano, and Kitty and Lydia their favorite beaus? Anxious thoughts were also accompanied by pleasing prospects. Surely their sister would be an accomplished young lady with a thorough knowledge of all the modern languages and an excellent reader with exquisite tastes and knowledge of all the latest London fashions. Mary could hardly wait to immerse herself in her sister’s novels while visions of fine gowns and expensive jewels danced through the younger girls’ heads. Surely their sister’s wardrobe would suit the two of them just as well as it suited Lizzy.

  ~*~

  As odd as it was, Elizabeth had a sense of being at home the instant she stepped down from the carriage. Sixteen years had passed and, during all those years, hardly a single day had gone by when she did not feel something was missing from her life. The question was how much of her true life had she missed? More importantly, how happy would her mother and father be to see her?

  The receiving line that awaited her arrival was quite different from the long line of servants who greeted her upon every return after a long absence from the Dunsmore estate. This was in and of itself confirmation that she was a long way from her former life.

  A young lady whose appearance was modest did not hesitate in stepping forward to greet Elizabeth. When the moment came to speak, she was, on the other hand, a bit lost for words.

  Jane came to the younger woman’s aid. “Lizzy, this is our sister Mary.”

  Elizabeth recalled Jane describing Mary as the third eldest daughter. She reached out her hand to her sister. “Mary, it is a pleasure to meet you. Our sister Jane has told me so much about you.”

  “I—I do not know what to say. I—I am so sorry for what happened to you.” Mary then embraced her older sister. “I am delighted you are home—back where you truly belong.”

  Mary stepped away, thus giving Elizabeth full view of two younger girls standing side by side just a couple of feet away. Their manner struck Elizabeth as being particularly silly, and she supposed they must be Kitty and Lydia.

  She recalled hearing how Kitty’s appearance initially gave Mr. Darcy cause to suspect a family connection. Hence, Elizabeth’s first inclination was to study both girls hoping to see in either of their faces her own resemblance. None was readily apparent, but then again, Elizabeth supposed, she did not spend nearly so much time admiring her appearance as Mr. Darcy did.

  Jane introduced both girls to Elizabeth in their turn, which prompted them to bestow oh so proper curtsies, albeit combined with unrepressed giggles.

  Next, Elizabeth’s eyes fell upon the face of the woman whom she surmised was her mother. Elizabeth’s outstretched hand was promptly ignored when the woman wrapped her arms around her daughter.

  “Oh, my dearest Lizzy, this is a happy day indeed!” She placed both hands on either side of Elizabeth’s face. “Let me have a look at you. Oh, I do declare you are as lovely as I ever imagined you would be.”

  Before Elizabeth could fashion a response, Mrs. Bennet took Elizabeth by the hand. “Come. Let me introduce you to your excellent father.”

  One look at the man who stood there told Elizabeth that mere words were insufficient for such an occasion as this. He seemed more nervous than she was. Her heart pounding against her chest, she raced into his welcoming embrace.

  Comforted by his strong arms, it was as though time stood still. “Let me look at you,” he said, loosening his hold and beholding her face. “Come now, my dearest Lizzy. There is no need for tears. You’re home.”

  Her tears she could not help but shed. Indeed, it feels good to be home again.

  Chapter 2 ~ A Great Tax

  Elizabeth’s sisters spent the better part of that first evening in her room. They were most eager to know everything there was to know about her and what they supposed was her fairytale life, replete with castles, elegant balls, and dashing gentlemen.

  She was delighted with the prospect of getting to know each of them in their turn. For so many years, everything about her life informed her that there was something missing, despite the noble upbringing she enjoyed. She now knew the aching hole in her heart was there for a reason; she had been longing for her sisters, two of whom she never even knew.

  Jane sat quietly by the fire, contented to let the other girls get better acquainted with Elizabeth. Occasionally, she and Elizabeth would glance across the room at each other, and when one caught the other’s eyes, they exchanged knowing smiles.

  Elizabeth’s love for Jane was immeasurable. It was no wonder she had spent many of her nights dreaming of the fair-haired, blue-eyed, angelic creature named Jane. It was no wonder that, of all her dolls, the one she enjoyed playing with most as a child and the one she treasured the most even until this day was the golden-haired doll that she called Jane.

  The next morning, Elizabeth got off to a later start than had been her habit owing to the household adjusting to its new routine. In addition to her companion, Miss Greene, Elizabeth’s maid also accompanied her to Longbourn. She was not insensitive to the burden this must surely have put on Longbourn’s existing staff. The subse
quent knowledge that all her sisters shared but one maid was a bit unsettling to Elizabeth. If she knew anything at all about Avery, she knew he would have offered to compensate Mr. Bennet for the added expenses of accommodating the sister of a duke. On the other hand, her limited knowledge of Mr. Bennet told her that he would have refused such a gesture. No doubt her being at Longbourn would entail a great many sacrifices, as Elizabeth was beginning to find out.

  When Elizabeth entered the breakfast parlor, Mrs. Bennet, upon seeing her attire, was utterly troubled. “Why are you wearing such a dreadful gown? Are you in mourning? But how can you be? No one in our family has died—at least not that I am aware of.”

  Jane said, “Mama, you will recall my writing to you that the former Duke of Dunsmore has recently passed away.”

  Mrs. Bennet placed her hand on her face in wonderment. “The Duke of Dunsmore? What has his passing to do with any of us?”

  Elizabeth knew not why she found this pronouncement surprising. She had not been at Longbourn for a full twenty-four hours, and already she had discerned that her mama was prone to say whatever sprang to her mind without any consideration for how it might affect the sensibilities of those around her. Fancying herself nervous, Mrs. Bennet had the excuse of her need for contentment to temper anyone saying or doing anything that might arouse her vexations. In this matter, Elizabeth did not mean to repress her own desires. “His Grace is – rather he was – my grandfather. You will give me leave to mourn his passing, I pray.”

  “Your grandfather, indeed,” Mrs. Bennet spat. “You ought to know that I shall never refer to that monster as such.”

  “Mama!” cried Jane.

  “Now, Jane, even you will agree that the man who was the means of tearing our world apart deserves no such approbation from any of us—not after what he did.”

  Everything that Elizabeth had come to know about her dearest Jane had taught her to know that Jane would not have told her mother about the duke’s misdeeds. Jane’s mortification at her mother’s insensitivity confirmed as much. She could only suppose her mother had learned of the details through some other means—her uncle Mr. Gardiner perhaps. Elizabeth fretted over how this information had been spread throughout the local town of Meryton.