Temptation

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  “I’m so sorry . . .”

  “Why are you sorry? I’m not.”

  Kyla was surprised. “You’re not? How can you say that?”

  “Even though I still think about it occasionally and still feel some pain, his affair became a new beginning for us. It brought us closer to the Lord and to each other. Your father has spent every day since then trying to make it up to me.”

  “That’s exactly what Jefferson said he would do. Spend the rest of his life being the man I thought he was.”

  “That’s a strong statement for a man to make.”

  Kyla nodded.

  “Sometimes I think about what my life would’ve been like if I had left your father. And I know it wouldn’t have been as good as it’s been with him.”

  Kyla stood and went to the window. Daylight had completely arrived and she watched the soft waves break onto the beach. She pulled at the gold heart around her neck. “I want to be sure, too. But I’m not.”

  “Honey, if Jefferson made a habit of this, that would be a different thing. But that’s not the case. I don’t know how he got himself into this, but I do know that your husband is a man of God and the Lord has already forgiven him. Jefferson wants your life to be together. And I think you do too.”

  Kyla nodded.

  “Then get your pride out of the way. You know what Proverbs says.”

  “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall,” Kyla quoted the scripture. “Is that what you think is holding me back, pride?”

  “I don’t know. But I do know what’s inside of you—the peace of God.”

  Kyla wiped away the tears that were falling onto her bathrobe.

  Lynn walked to the nightstand and picked up her Bible, and handed it to Kyla. “Here, take this. I think it’s time for you to have one of those deep conversations with the Lord. I’m going to leave you alone.”

  “Why don’t you stay and we can do this together?”

  With a smile, Lynn shook her head. “Not this time. This is between you and God.” Lynn leaned down and kissed her daughter’s head.

  Alone, Kyla stared at the book in her hand. Then, after a few moments, she skimmed through the pages of the New Testament, finally stopping at Luke 6. She read through the entire chapter, then paused, reading verses 36 and 37 several times. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father is also merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.

  She closed the book and got down on her knees. She needed to pray.

  Jasmine thought she had recovered quickly, but when she closed the front door behind her and glanced at the clock, she realized she’d been sitting in her car for well over an hour after Jefferson had driven off.

  “It’s over,” she whispered to herself as she’d done a hundred times in the car. “There is no way I can get Jefferson now.” She blew her nose again into the crumpled tissue that she’d had in her purse and sat for a few more minutes, going over everything in her mind. The worst part was that she had lost her best friend—and for what? Jefferson didn’t even want her.

  How could I have been so wrong? she thought. Jasmine was sure that once Jefferson had gone to bed with her, he’d want her again. But he was blinded by his commitment to Kyla. She shook her head. In the past, it had been so easy to get a married man. But Jefferson was different. And she didn’t know what to do.

  “Why didn’t he want me?” she asked aloud.

  Jasmine needed to be with someone who would hold her and tell her what she needed to hear. It took her only a few seconds to dial a number. “May I speak with Michael Newman, please? This is Jasmine Larson.”

  Within a few moments, she was put through to his office. “Jasmine, how are you?” he asked.

  “Just fine,” she responded, trying to put enthusiasm in her voice, though she could feel tears stinging her eyes. “I haven’t heard from you in a few days and I wanted to know if we could get together tonight. It would be a great way to bring in the weekend.”

  “Hold on a second, Jasmine.” She could hear movement in the background and assumed he was closing his office door. “Okay, I can talk now. Jasmine, I’ve been meaning to call you.”

  “Well, you won’t have to now. We can meet somewhere this evening or you can come over here and I can make sure this is a night you won’t forget.” She was surprised at how seductive her voice sounded, even with a tear streaming down her face.

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Uh . . . we won’t be able to see each other anymore . . . my wife . . . someone called her and told her . . . I denied it and that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to make sure that if you see Patricia, you don’t tell her anything about us.”

  Jasmine was silent.

  “Jasmine? Are you still there? Did you hear what I said?”

  “You said you don’t want me to tell your wife.”

  “Of course not. You and I . . . we were just kicking it. But I don’t want to lose my wife. I mean, there are the kids and my business . . . if I’m going to make partner, I have to be stable. I have to keep my family together. You understand, Jasmine, don’t you?”

  “I understand . . .” Her voice was like stone.

  “Maybe when things are a bit less heated and a little time has passed, you and I . . . we can get together again . . . you know how I feel about you, baby, don’t you?”

  “I know how you feel about me . . .”

  “I’m sorry, Jasmine. Just hearing your voice makes me want to run over there. But we’ve got to do the right thing. I’ll try to call you, maybe in a few months. But in the meantime, it would be best if you didn’t call me. Here or at home.”

  Jasmine had no idea how long she held the phone to her ear. She wasn’t aware until the mechanical voice came on. “If you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again . . .”

  Michael had said what Jefferson said—“I’m sorry.” These men had used her for their own pleasure and now they were running back to their wives.

  Her tears started to flow again. If she hadn’t been focusing on Jefferson, Michael would still be there for her. And, if Kyla hadn’t come back from Santa Barbara so early, she would have had a better chance with Jefferson. But everyone was going back to their families, tossing her aside like trash.

  A few hours passed as she sat in the silence with her thoughts. Finally, she wiped the lingering tears and lay back on the couch. She was exhausted, but she had to get some rest. So that she could take care of business. Because, no matter who they were, no one was going to get away with treating her like this. Like she had told Jefferson—there was always a price to pay.

  Twenty-three

  * * *

  It was almost noon when Kyla rose from her knees and went into the living room. Lynn was sitting in front of the bay window, dressed in jeans and a white oxford shirt, reading her Bible. Kyla held back for a moment. The sunlight flooded through the glass, casting a glow on Lynn’s caramel skin. Her short haircut made her look much younger than her sixty-five years, though Kyla could see the soft creases that had begun to form around her mother’s eyes and cheeks. Peace hung like a halo over her and Kyla smiled. This woman was her example.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  Her mother looked up with a smile. “You’re up?”

  “I didn’t go back to sleep,” Kyla said as she knelt in front of the window. “I read a little and spent the rest of the time praying. Praying and listening.”

  The doorbell rang, just as Lynn was about to speak. “Now I know your father didn’t forget his key.” Lynn got up and fussed all the way to the door. “I told you to take your key, Winston. I told you . . .” She stopped as she opened the door.

  “Oh, Jefferson.”

  Kyla jumped up.

  “Hello, Mom,” he said as he leaned over and kissed Lynn, though his eyes were set on Kyla.

  “Good to see you, son.” Then Lynn turned to her daughter. “Kyla, look wh
o’s here.”

  “Hey, you,” he smiled through uncertain eyes. Jefferson stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I was a bit worried. I didn’t know what happened.”

  The three stood awkwardly at the entrance before Jefferson spoke again. “Can we talk?”

  “Of course you can,” Lynn said. “I’m going to leave you guys alone.”

  “I don’t want to run you off,” Jefferson responded.

  “Oh, no. I need to get down to the church. There’s something I have to add to the Sunday bulletin.”

  “Mom, you can stay. I wanted to go for a walk anyway.” Turning to Jefferson, she said, “Just give me a few minutes to change. Mom, I’m going to borrow one of your tops, okay?”

  Lynn waved her hands. “Take anything you need, honey.”

  When Kyla left the room, Lynn motioned for Jefferson to take a seat. “Who’s taking care of the clinic?”

  “Fortunately, it runs without me, but a couple of the other doctors are covering my patients.” He paused. “Uh, Mom, I wanted to . . .”

  Lynn held up her hands. “Jefferson, this is between you and Kyla.”

  He lowered his head. “I wanted to say that I am so sorry and you can be sure nothing like this will ever happen again. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to Kyla.”

  He held his breath as Lynn’s eyes pierced him. A lifetime of seconds seemed to tick past before she smiled. “I believe you, Jefferson.”

  He exhaled. “I wish I could get Kyla to believe me.”

  “I’m not the one whose heart you broke. Kyla has a lot to deal with and it’s hard because she loves you so much. I do want to say one thing though.” Lynn paused. “If you ever . . .”

  Jefferson nodded before she could finish. “I promise you . . .”

  “You don’t have to say anything else. Just make my daughter happy.”

  “Okay, I’m ready.” Kyla came from the bedroom and her eyes moved back and forth between the two.

  Jefferson stood.

  “There really is no need for you to go anywhere. I’m going to the church and it should be a little while before your Dad and Nicole return. Why don’t you just stay here?” Lynn gathered her Bible and papers from the table. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

  The two of them stood staring at the door as Lynn closed it behind her. Kyla finally broke the silence. “This really feels strange.”

  Jefferson’s shoulders relaxed. “I don’t want it to be this way.”

  “Why don’t we sit down?” Kyla motioned to the couch, but then sat in the chair across from him.

  “So, Nicole’s out with your Dad?”

  Kyla nodded. “Fishing again. That’s why she loves to come up here.”

  “Hanging out with her grandfather is her favorite thing to do,” he chuckled and looked directly at Kyla. “I’m glad you’re still talking to me. I wasn’t sure what to expect. When Alexis called me in the middle of the night . . .”

  “I knew I couldn’t trust her,” Kyla chuckled.

  “She called because she’s our friend.”

  Kyla nodded. “Jefferson, I have something that belongs to you.” She stood and pulled out the paper she’d been carrying from her jeans, handing it to Jefferson.

  He frowned, then took the paper, swallowing hard as he read Jasmine’s words. “Where . . .”

  “I found it on the windshield of your car. I guess it was meant for you and I shouldn’t have taken it, but . . .”

  He tore the note into small pieces. “Kyla, I am so sorry.”

  “That was tough to read. It somehow made it all real. Even more real than when I walked in on the two of you.”

  “If there was any way that I could take back . . .”

  “But you can’t.”

  He nodded. “Kyla, all the way up here, I was trying to think of the perfect thing to say. The right words that would turn this all around for us.” He paused. “But honestly, I couldn’t think of anything, because there is no excuse. The most important thing I can say to you now is the truth. And that is, I love you so much.”

  She held his stare for several seconds. “For the first time, I think I believe that, Jefferson.”

  His eyes opened wider. “Are you saying . . .”

  “I’m not saying anything except that I believe you love me. But that doesn’t erase anything. I can’t get it out of my head—you making love to Jasmine.”

  “We didn’t make love. We had sex; it was only physical.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I guess with that revelation I’m supposed to feel better.”

  He sighed. “Of course not. I just want you to understand that it was nothing like what we have together.”

  Kyla nodded. “I’m trying to understand that.” She stood and walked to the window. “During these past days, I’ve wondered what was wrong with me. I wondered if you had gotten bored. I wondered if I wasn’t satisfying you. I wondered if it were because I wasn’t experienced.”

  Jefferson rushed to her. “Kyla, it was none of that, it wasn’t you at all.”

  “I even thought it may have been because I was a virgin when we married. I know Jasmine has been with a lot of men . . .”

  Jefferson lowered his head and closed his eyes. “Kyla, please.”

  With her index finger, she raised Jefferson’s chin and stared into his eyes. She could feel his breath on her face. “Did you enjoy it, Jefferson? Did you enjoy making love to her? Was it better than being with me?” The questions quivered from her.

  “Kyla . . . I . . . no . . .”

  She held up her hands and turned from him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I asked you that. I just wish I didn’t hurt so much.”

  “And I wish that I had never hurt you,” Jefferson said as he turned her, making her face him. “Kyla, I want us to get back to where we were. I want . . .” He stopped, choking on his words.

  She reached out and stroked his face. “Jefferson . . .” This time, when he lowered his lips to hers, she didn’t resist, and allowed herself to take in the softness of him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, trying to fill himself with her.

  The sound of the key at the door broke them apart.

  “Daddy, Daddy!” Nicole ran in and jumped on her father. “I saw your car outside. When did you get here?”

  “Hey, sweetie. How are you? Boy, did I miss you.” Jefferson knelt down, hugging Nicole, and for the first time in days, embraced the feeling that he would have his family back together.

  “Are you coming to Misty and Kristy’s birthday party tomorrow?” Her arms were still wrapped around her father’s neck.

  “Uh, no. I forgot all about it. I’m sorry, honey, but I have to get back to L.A.”

  “When are you leaving?” Kyla and Nicole asked at the same time.

  Jefferson stood, facing Kyla. “Tonight. I’m on call this weekend. I only came up to see you and hope that I could get you to come back with me.”

  “Hey, Jefferson,” Winston walked into the house, eyeing his daughter and son-in-law.

  “Dad, here let me help you with all of that,” Jefferson said as he grabbed the fishing gear. “How are you?”

  “Uh, just fine,” he answered, looking at Kyla. He relaxed when she smiled back at him. “Is everything all right?”

  “It’s fine, Dad.” Kyla hugged him tightly. “Jefferson and I were just . . . talking.”

  “Daddy, why can’t you stay?” Nicole whined.

  “Honey, you don’t know how much I wish I could. But I’ve got to go to work in the morning and I know you understand that.”

  Nicole nodded. “Well, maybe you can play at the beach with me. Do you want to go down to the beach now? Please?”

  Jefferson looked between Kyla and Nicole. “I don’t know, honey. I really need to talk to your mother.”

  Kyla nodded her approval. “Go with her. She hasn’t seen her daddy in over a week.” Kyla smiled, tugging at her daughter’s pigtails.

  Jefferson’s eyes quest
ioned her. “Are you sure? I really wanted us . . .”

  “We’ll finish later,” she nodded reassuringly.

  “Well, young lady, what are we going to do?”

  Nicole clapped her hands. “First, let’s go get Misty and Kristy and then we can all go down to the beach. I have to put on my bathing suit. Are you going to get in the water too, Daddy?”

  “No, I’ll leave that all to you.”

  “Okay.” She ran off to her bedroom.

  “I tell you, that girl never runs out of energy,” Winston chuckled as he sat on the couch and sighed. “I can’t keep up with her.”

  “We really appreciate you keeping her up here,” Jefferson said.

  Winston dismissed Jefferson’s comment with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense! It’s a delight to have her.”

  “I’m ready! Let’s go, Daddy!”

  Jefferson gently ran his fingers across Kyla’s face. “I’ll be back.”

  Winston put his arm around his daughter as they watched Jefferson and Nicole walk hand-in-hand through the sand to the beachfront house next door. “I was surprised to see Jefferson here.”

  “Alexis called him and told him where I was.” They were silent as Jefferson and Nicole disappeared around the corner. “Daddy, this has been one of the worst times of my life.”

  “I know, honey. But the thing I know most is that you’ll make it through.”

  “I’m beginning to think I might. I prayed for a few hours this morning.”

  “That’ll always do it. As long as you’re not doing all the talking and you’re spending a fair amount of time listening.”

  Kyla chuckled. “Remember when you told me that prayer was not a monologue, but a dialogue? I was absolutely shocked.”

  “You remember that? You couldn’t have been more than five or six.”

  “I think I was seven and for a long time after that I was afraid to pray. I thought I’d hear this booming voice come out of the sky and that scared me to death.”