Temptation

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  “I know you probably have a lot of questions,” Serena said, as if reading her sister’s mind. “But, there’s only one place to start. Everything will fall into place as you get to know the Lord. All you have to do is ask Jesus to come into your heart.”

  “I don’t know how to do that,” Jasmine cried.

  “I can show you.” Serena opened her Bible. “Let’s start with John 3:16. That explains why we have the gift of salvation. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Serena looked up at Jasmine. “God loves us. That’s why we have the gift of His grace and mercy. And it’s a gift, Jasmine. There is nothing you can do to buy it because we have all sinned. Look at Romans 3:23. For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God. Every being on earth has sinned, so, Jasmine, you don’t have to worry about what you’ve done. All sins are equal in God’s sight.”

  Jasmine simply nodded.

  “But the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. We were all going to suffer eternal separation from God, but the Lord gave us a way out—a way to have everlasting life.” Serena turned to Colossians 1:14. “In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. Christ died on the cross so that no matter what we did—even sleeping with our friend’s husband,” Serena paused and smiled as Jasmine rolled her eyes. “No matter what we’ve done in the past or what we will do in the future . . . Jesus has already paid the price.”

  “I remember most of this stuff from Sunday school, but I never understood how to get God in your life.”

  Serena turned to Romans 10:9 and read aloud, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in his heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Serena closed the Bible.

  Jasmine frowned. “All you do is say that Jesus is Lord and you’re saved?”

  “Say it and believe it in your heart. Believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead. And then, we pray and you’re saved.”

  “We pray and it’s over.”

  “We pray and it’s the beginning,” Serena smiled. “Are you ready?”

  Jasmine took a deep breath and nodded, though she still felt a bit unsure.

  Serena knelt in front of her sister once again and took her hands. “This is what’s called the Sinner’s Prayer. Once you pray these words, you never have to do it again. Jesus will always be in your heart.”

  Jasmine barely moved.

  “Repeat after me,” Serena said. “Dear God, I come to you recognizing that I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe that he died on the cross and God raised Him from the dead. I believe He lives. Jesus, come into my heart, be my Lord and Savior. Jesus, I receive you now.

  I thank you that you shed your blood for the remission of my sins. Through this, my confession of faith, I am now a child of the Almighty God in Jesus' name. Amen.”

  Jasmine looked up and searched her sister’s eyes. “Is that all I have to do?”

  Serena nodded as tears ran down her cheeks. They hugged, holding each other for several minutes. And, as the morning light seemed to suddenly peek through the small kitchen window, Jasmine sighed, feeling like a burden had been lifted.

  Twenty-eight

  * * *

  Since Avery was not at her desk, Kyla gave a quick knock on the pastor’s door, then stuck her head inside. “Pastor Ford, I’m sorry to disturb you . . .” she said.

  “Kyla, come on in. Is it that time already?” She glanced at the mahogany clock on her desk.

  “No, I’m a bit early. I was hoping that I could speak to you for a few minutes . . . before Jefferson got here. I hope you’re not too busy.”

  Pastor Ford shuffled the papers on her desk. “I can go back to this.” She stood from behind her desk and motioned for Kyla to have a seat on the couch. “Let’s sit over here. I’ve been waiting for you to come to me.”

  Kyla frowned. “Come to you for what?”

  She leaned back. “You’ve been in counseling for a month now and though it’s going well, there are still some things that you’re going through.”

  Kyla slowly shook her head. “Pastor, sometimes I’m afraid to have you look at me. I feel like you know everything that’s going on inside.”

  Pastor Ford grinned. “I don’t know everything. Just the things God wants to reveal.” Pastor Ford paused and peered at Kyla. “You can get started whenever you’re ready.”

  Kyla bit her lip. Just how far do I want to go with this, she thought. “I do feel that counseling is going well,” she said deliberately. “I know Jefferson is doing everything he can to rebuild my trust, but . . . there’s something wrong with me.” She stopped to look at the pastor’s reaction. When Pastor Ford remained still, Kyla continued, “It’s in my mind. I have all of these images of Jefferson and Jasmine together. It’s driving me . . .”

  “Kyla, this is all normal,” the pastor said gently as she leaned forward.

  “I thought you would say that, but how can it be? The thoughts come to me all the time—while we’re watching TV or when we’re in the car or even when we’re . . .” She lowered her eyes.

  “Even when you’re in bed with Jefferson,” Pastor Ford finished her sentence.

  Kyla nodded. She hadn’t expected to talk about their sexual relationship. She had hoped that if she could get rid of the thoughts, everything else would return to normal.

  “Kyla, let me know if you think I’m getting too personal—but have you and Jefferson been intimate?”

  She sighed deeply. “Yes, but I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel normal.”

  “Kyla, normal is going to be different from now on. You and Jefferson have different issues in your life. You’re at a new place. Now, I’m not saying things can’t be good. In fact, I think things are going to be much better. This is going to make your relationship mature and grow like nothing else can. You can’t compare your life two months ago to where you are now.”

  “I understand that, Pastor Ford. But, when I’m . . . intimate with Jefferson, I feel like Jasmine is there.”

  Pastor Ford reached for Kyla’s hand. “First of all, you’re doing fine. You’re only a month into your healing and you have made progress.”

  “I thought I’d be further along by now.”

  “Kyla, forgiveness is a process that takes a lot of time. It’s not going to happen all at once. Just moment by moment, inch by inch, you two are going to fight your way back to each other.”

  Kyla leaned forward, holding her face in her hands. “I’m afraid that if I can’t get back to the way we were—if I can’t . . . respond, Jefferson will turn to someone else.”

  The pastor waved her hands. “Kyla, that is the devil trying to get in the middle of your healing. But, when the devil comes after you like this, point to the Cross. Remind the devil, rebuke him in the name of Jesus and he’ll flee from you.” Pastor Ford squeezed Kyla’s hand, then stood, taking a sip from the water glass on her desk. “Have you talked to Jefferson about this?”

  “No, the rest of our life is going well, I don’t want this to be a stumbling block.”

  “It will only become one if you don’t talk about it. We can discuss this in counseling, but why don’t you try talking to Jefferson first? Jefferson is patient and accepting and the most important thing is that he is willing. I believe not only will Jefferson understand, but he will help you through this.”

  Kyla sat silently still for a moment. “Pastor, I want to love Jefferson completely.”

  A short knock on the door surprised them and Jefferson stepped inside.

  “Did I hear my name?” Jefferson smiled and he hugged Kyla. “Hello, Pastor. You guys didn’t get started without me, did you?”

  Pastor Ford smiled. “There is no way we
would do that! Why don’t you guys have a seat and we will get started.”

  Jasmine pulled the card she had purchased over a month ago out of the Bible. The blank white page loomed threateningly in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she finally pushed her pen along the paper.

  Dear Kyla and Jefferson:

  There is so much I want to say, but I think it’s best if I keep this short and simple. So here goes . . . I’m sorry. That’s it. No other explanations are needed because I believe my reasons for what I did don’t matter. And I’m ready to move on with my life. I am glad to know that you are both moving on too. My dad talked to your parents and told me that. I did want you to know that I will be away for a little while, spending some time with my dad, Serena and the kids. I don’t know how long I’ll stay in Pensacola—it’s such a hick town, but we’ll see how things go. So much of my family is here and it feels good to be around family right now. I’ll be renting my house so that if I come back to Los Angeles, I’ll have a place to stay and won’t have to ask if I can stay with you guys. That’s a joke, in case you didn’t get it. Anyway, maybe one day we’ll be able to find our way past all of this. Maybe, maybe not. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Well, that’s it. I don’t have anything else to say, so I think it’s best to end this right here. Give Nicole a kiss for me . . . All the best, Jasmine.

  Not taking any time to look over the note, she folded the paper, stuffed it into an envelope and tossed it on top of the pile with the other mail Serena had stacked on the table. Standing, Jasmine smoothed her pantsuit and picked up her keys. She had promised Serena that she would meet her at Bible study. “Bible study,” Jasmine chuckled softly. Her life really was changing . . . slowly and for the better.

  Twenty-nine

  * * *

  Alexis threw her keys on the table. “Whew!”

  “Tired?”

  “Very. We’ve all been through quite a bit these past months.”

  Brian pulled her back against him and hugged her around the waist. “But look at how far it’s all come. It was great having dinner with Kyla and Jefferson tonight. It looks like all of their problems are over.”

  “Don’t think anything is over.”

  “Well, they’ve made it through the first month . . .”

  Alexis chuckled as she leaned into the couch. “Thirty days and counting. But even though they have a fight in front of them, they’ll be fine. They have God and Pastor Ford. I believe God wants them together.”

  He pulled her towards him and she nestled in his arms. “I’ve got to say this. I’m glad it happened to Jefferson and not me. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with it.”

  “Well, just stay away from Jasmine,” she said, slapping his leg playfully. “In fact, just stay away from all women, period!”

  He laughed. “With the woman I have in my arms, why would I want to look at anyone else?”

  Alexis wrinkled her brow. “You know, that’s a good question.”

  “Modest, aren’t we?”

  “I’m not talking about me. I still haven’t been able to figure out how this happened to Kyla and Jefferson. There is no doubt in my mind that Jefferson loves Kyla and loves the life he has. So why did he do this?”

  Brian shrugged. “I don’t know . . . lust, curiosity, boredom . . .”

  “Is that what happens to men? A few hours of pleasure is worth the risk of losing everything?” Alexis tried to keep her voice light, but she was puzzled. None of it made sense to her.

  “Don’t be sexist,” Brian protested. “Both men and women fall, but everyone falls for different reasons.”

  “It’s just not worth it. Jefferson could have lost everything—his wife, his family, his home, his reputation. It’s too much to give up for a few moments of physical release.”

  “You make it sound so romantic.”

  “I may not have been there, but I can tell you there was no romance involved. All Jasmine was to Jefferson was a place for him to dump . . .”

  “Whoa,” he interrupted her, shaking his head. “You’re tough.”

  “I should be. This just seems like another example of a man not being able to control himself, and it doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “Well, even the Bible says that we will all be tempted. Look at Jesus, He was tempted for forty days . . .”

  “But He stood.”

  “He was Jesus Christ. Give Jefferson a break. He’s not God.”

  “I’m not saying that. I’m asking, how can a man who knew better, a man who is so strong in the Lord, how could he fall?”

  “Do you know how many scriptures in the Bible speak about temptation?”

  Alexis shook her head.

  “There are so many,” Brian started. “Jesus said in Matthew, Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit is indeed willing but the flesh is weak. Jesus said ‘watch and pray,’ like temptation is always going to be lurking in our lives. Jesus knew. And then, Peter says, The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations . . . Listen to those words. Even the godly will be tempted. There are so many other scriptures about this. From the days of Adam, God knew our flesh would be weak.”

  “But Galatians 5:16 says Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. And anyway, how do you know so much about these scriptures? What’s up with that?” Alexis gave him a sidelong glance, half-serious, half-teasing.

  Brian laughed. “Does it bother you that I know so much about what the Bible says about temptation?”

  “I just want to know why you know so much.”

  His smile disappeared. “You know, when this happened to Jefferson, I couldn’t understand it either. I mean, I’ve always held him up as the example to follow. And knowing how much he loved the Lord, I felt like you—it just didn’t make sense. So, I went into my Concordance and looked up scriptures. I wanted to have some way that I could understand. I figured if I could understand, maybe I could help.”

  Alexis was silent for a moment. “You’re a good man, Dr. Lewis,” she said finally.

  Tipping her face with his fingers, he brought his lips to hers. When they broke their embrace, she leaned back in his arms.

  Sitting in the dimness of the room’s light, Alexis couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d felt such peace. She was with the man she loved and her best friend was building her life back. Minutes passed before Brian spoke again. “Maybe I could stay with you tonight,” he said softly.

  “Brian!” After what she had just been thinking, her disappointment was clear.

  “No, not what you think. It’s just that we’ve been through so much in the past weeks and I feel like we can exhale now. All I want to do is hold you and let you know that I love you.”

  “I know you love me.”

  “We don’t have to have sex.”

  She looked up in his eyes. “There was one scripture you forgot to mention. It’s the one that says, and lead us not into temptation . . .”

  Brian chuckled. “Is that your way of saying that if I were to stay, you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying and we agreed that we wouldn’t put ourselves in that position. In fact, with all of this talk, I think it’s time for you to leave.”

  “Are you throwing me out?”

  “You got it.”

  He laughed again. “Well, it’s nice to know that I affect you in that way,” he said standing. “You know, we can’t go on like this for much longer. My heart and my . . . well, let’s just leave it at my heart. But I can’t take this. We’re going to have to do something about this soon.” He leaned over and kissed her. “And, I have a few ideas.”

  “What ideas are you talking about?”

  “Maybe I’ll share them with you later. Ciao.”

  And as she watched him walk out the door, goose bumps began to rise on her arms.

  “Good night, Mommy.”

  “Night, sweetie.”

  Kyla turned off th
e lights and went back downstairs into the family room, sinking onto the couch next to Jefferson. He smiled and pulled her close as he flipped through the channels, finally settling on the late-night news.

  “I had a good time tonight. It’s been a long time since we’ve entertained here at home.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, it was fun. Brian and Alexis have been good friends to us.”

  “I thought Brian was going to pass out when you told him that we were going to speak at the Marriage Fellowship next month.”

  Jefferson rubbed his hand along her arm. “He doesn’t understand what Pastor says about testimonies and how they can help others. I’m excited about doing it, are you?”

  Kyla nodded. “It’s a bit scary, but I think it will be good. I’m going to invite some of the women from the Compassion House. Even though they’re all single, they’ve been married, and some of what we say may help.”

  He squeezed her tightly. “I am so proud of you,” he said, as she kissed the top of his head. “We’re going to miss you at the clinic, but I’m glad Pastor made you the Executive Director of the Compassion House. I think you’re going to make a big difference down there.”

  “I hope so. I think the Compassion House is going to make a difference for a lot of people.”

  Leaning from his arms, she reached over to the end table and picked up the stack of mail. Sorting through the envelopes, she stopped as one caught her eye.

  “Jefferson . . .”

  “Umm?” He didn’t turn away from the screen.

  “There’s something here . . . I think you should see . . .”

  “What is it, honey?” Tossing the envelope onto his lap, she watched as his eyes scanned it, then looked up at her. “It’s from Jasmine.”