Aberrant

by Ruth Silver

  Something about his tone and his voice made me think otherwise. I reached for Joshua's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. I felt as though now was the time to run, to escape, to try and find a new home. The same fleeting look of fear crossed Joshua's face as it did my own. He agreed.

  We barely had time to react as Chancellor Collins stepped over and between Joshua and me, our hands breaking apart. "Jacqueline, I’ve been told you've made the most progress. You'll be going first today."

  I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I had no choice if I wanted to live. I wouldn't be a test subject. I broke free from the Chancellor's grasp. "Run!" I screamed at Joshua as I tore past the Chancellor for the end of the hallway.

  "Jacqueline!" I heard Collins smug voice and the exit door opened with two armed guards pointing guns at me.

  "No!" I shouted stepping backward, eyes wide as I glanced around and tried to see the best place to run. There weren't enough exits. I dashed through the crowd of recruits, pushing Cate out of the way as I ran for the stairs. I didn't make it. I felt strong arms pushing me down onto the ground, restraining me as a needle pierced the skin of my neck. "No!" I screamed. "You can't do this to me!" I tried to shout again but no sound came out. Everything blurred as I tried to focus and find Joshua. My eyes were heavy, my body grew limp as they carried me into the stark white room.

  The woman watched me suspiciously as she helped them place me on the cold metal table. "Don't try and fight it," she breathed, as my vision grew black. My eyes shut, there was no fighting whatever they had planned for me.

  CHAPTER 20

  My eyes felt incredibly heavy. Slowly I opened them, realizing I was no longer on the table but in a cold metal chair. My feet were elevated and my head rested back as I stared up at the ceiling. I shifted and focused, taking in the room, wondering if I was alone and could escape.

  "Relax." The woman I'd briefly seen before I had blacked out was in the room with me. "The Mindonsiphan worked, but it will take some time to adjust to the new drug in your system and the changes in brain chemistry. Right now you need to relax."

  I didn't want to relax and found it difficult to sit still. As I shifted in the chair to get up, the room began to spin and I cupped my head in my hands, feeling an awful pounding.

  Her hand found my shoulder and helped me sit back, with my legs propped up in the chair. "You need to relax," she insisted. "You'll be brought to your dormitory soon enough. Right now you're in recovery." She reached for a plastic cup of water holding it up for me. "Try and drink a sip," she suggested, seeing my grave expression.

  I wanted to refuse, to throw the water down on the ground, but my lips were parched. Willingly I took a sip as she helped bring the cup to my lips. "That's good," she told me, making sure I didn't get up from the chair. There was no way I could get up. My stomach was queasy and my body felt heavy as lead. "There's a boy who keeps asking about you," she smiled at me knowingly. "Are you two more than friends?"

  "He's okay?" I was silently grateful he hadn't left, and at the same time disappointed he'd endured the same torture I had been through. What had they done to us?

  "There’s nothing wrong with a little crush." She laughed.

  She had no idea what went through my mind. I opened my mouth, though still dry, I tried to speak, "What did you do to me?"

  "Nothing that you weren't already capable of, just perhaps unaware of," she mused, a growing smile on her face. "Consider it a gift." She didn't further elaborate. "You are one of the lucky ones, Jacqueline. If the world knew what talents you possessed they'd be begging to be just like you." She had no idea who I really was, but her words still sent a chill down my spine.

  "So I've been told." I didn't feel lucky, just tired from the sedative. "Can you please tell me what you did to me?" I hated begging, but worse I didn't like being kept in the dark. I didn't feel different though slightly dizzy, but I couldn't be certain it wasn't from the sedative and not the procedure.

  The woman smiled. "If I did that then you would have an advantage over the other recruits." She offered me more water. This time I had the strength to hold it myself without making a mess. "Good." She watched as I relaxed into the chair. "Soon the Chancellor will come for each of you, drive you back to the dorms and have one of the nurses watch over you until morning, just to make sure there are no ill-effects from the Mindonsiphan."

  Before I had time to ask, Sydney knocked on the door and helped me slowly down the stairs and to the van. I recognized her from the first night in town. She had tended to Joshua's injured foot. I wanted to ask her why they were doing this to us, but the words never reached my lips. I was exhausted by the time I sat down. No wonder they insisted on driving us.

  I sat in the van with the air conditioning on, waiting as Sydney brought out each recruit, one by one. It took a while, but by the time Joshua joined me last, I could already tell the feeling was beginning to wear off and I felt slightly better.

  "Hey." He took my hand, sitting beside me. Immediately, I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, seeing a fleeting look of fear in his eyes.

  "I'm right here," I assured him, knowing that if I had gone in first, I was probably the most alert as it was wearing off. "You doing okay?" I asked, sitting up against him.

  "Been better." His voice was soft, quiet in my ear. I stared at him, not caring if the Chancellor drove us and watched our interaction. It was no secret the way I felt about him. Sydney sat in the front row. I suspected she would be the one to watch over us today. There would be no sneaking out tonight.

  Already I wondered how much time had passed. Glancing at the sun, I estimated it was late afternoon and we'd missed much of the day. The ride was short and bumpy. I hadn't noticed it before but after having some strange procedure and sedation, every jolt felt a hundred times more intense. I was glad they hadn't fed us breakfast.

  Sydney helped me from the van, giving me a polite smile. I wondered if she liked seeing me so helpless. It was the first time I'd seen a smile on her face when she looked at me. It made my stomach queasy. I swayed on my feet as she held an arm around me, escorting me to my bed. One by one, she escorted all the recruits back to the dormitory.

  Lying on the mattress, staring up at the bunk above me, I wondered how Joshua was doing. Sydney brought him in and helped him up into bed, but he hadn't said much. I knew I didn’t feel great and by the look on his face, I hoped he wouldn't get sick.

  Reaching out to touch the bottom of the mattress, though I knew he couldn't feel me, I wanted to be close to him. I'm so sorry, Joshua. We should have tried to leave last night.

  I felt a few stray tears on my cheeks and though the room was incredibly quiet, Joshua spoke out, "Quiet, Jacqueline." He emphasized my name, coughing, trying to pretend nothing was going on.

  I sniffled, wondering what he was talking about. I hadn't said anything aloud. I shut my eyes, willing myself to fall asleep. I was tired, exhausted and over-thinking things. I was sure of it.

  CHAPTER 21

  Unlike the previous morning, no one had taken care to wake any of the recruits. Perhaps after the procedure they thought it best to let us rest and recover from the entire ordeal. I still wondered what they'd done to us. I didn't feel any different.

  Reluctantly, I pulled myself from bed, careful not to hit my head on the top bunk as I climbed out. After having a good night's sleep, I felt refreshed.

  "You awake?" I heard Joshua's voice and glanced up at him with a smile.

  "I am." I gave a nod. "How'd you sleep?" He was looking better than he had the last time I'd seen him. I imagined I looked better too.

  "I was out cold all night," he admitted. "Had the strangest dream," he shook his head. "Want to shower and grab breakfast?"

  "I do," I nodded, climbing off the bed. I glanced around the room seeing a few other recruits waking up. Most still seemed to be in bed. My stomach grumbled as I grabbed our training outfit and headed for the bathroom. "Meet you in the cafeteria," Joshua nodded towards me as
I made my way down the opposite corridor to the women's showers. We hadn't eaten yesterday, and I was looking forward to breakfast.

  Rounding the corner, the bathroom was completely empty. I walked into the double door stall, closing the first door and locking it. Dropping my clothes on the bench, I shut the curtain to keep the water from spraying them before turning on the shower. It took no time for the warm water to trickle down as I stood beneath the spray. I let my body relax, taking the first moment I had to really enjoy some time alone. It wasn't that I didn't like being around Joshua, it had more to do with the other recruits and lack of privacy. I wasn't used to sleeping in a dormitory, let alone the test and procedure they'd put us through. I was nervous to think of what was next.

  I shampooed my hair and soaped my skin. Aside from the needle puncture from the sedative, I hadn’t notice any additional bumps or bruises from the procedure and certainly no incision marks. Feeling the cold water trickling down my back, I knew that meant I needed to finish. It was a surprisingly welcome reminder that some things should not be taken for granted.

  I dried off and dressed, heading to the cafeteria. My eyes scoped out the scene. There was plenty of food to choose from, and my stomach instantly sounded. Joshua was nowhere in sight. I didn't dwell on it as Cate, Mason and Elsa were eating together. I knew Elsa didn't have a partner with the training sessions, but I hated to see her mingling with Cate. I grabbed some eggs for breakfast, taking them to sit down at the furthest end of the table. Maybe I wasn't being the most polite toward them, but I really didn't want to pretend to be friends. I took a bite of breakfast, relieved when Joshua came into the cafeteria. Cate was the first to speak up quite loudly at him. "I see you still have your head," she sniggered, referencing the near-miss of an arrow just two days ago. Mason joined in laughing, seeming to fall in line with everything Cate did. I wondered if he was infatuated or just using her to do well on the tests. Elsa gave an apologetic look but then smiled with Cate, doing her best to befriend her.

  Joshua gave them a look, grabbed his food and then sat across from me. "Lucky it was me out there and not you," he answered Cate with a warm smile, "Otherwise there'd be two recruits going home in body bags." Joshua knew how to stand on his own. It was no wonder he'd made it this far.

  Joshua gestured for us to move further to the opposite end of the table. I wasn't sure that was possible but shifted my plate and scooted down on the bench. "What's up?" I asked having the sneaking suspicion he didn't want to be overheard.

  "I, uh, I'm not sure how to ask this," he hesitated, staring at me. "Did you have any interesting dreams last night?"

  I shook my head no. "I don't really remember dreaming anything," I admitted. "Why?"

  He kept his voice low so only I could hear him. He leaned forward as he sat across from me at the table, "I dreamt about you." He smiled and stared at me, gauging my reaction.

  "What about?" I shook my head curiously.

  "Doesn't matter," Joshua countered, skirting the question. "I was just curious because I thought maybe the procedure had done something to modify our dreams. Make us dream together, but that's a stupid idea." He laughed at himself and what he was suggesting.

  I sighed, thinking it over. "I guess it's possible, but I really don't remember if I dreamt anything. Dreams can feel real, though, you know?"

  Joshua nodded. "Sometimes a little too real." He admitted having a bite of his breakfast and some orange juice. I was almost certain his cheeks had flushed. Was he flustered? Nervous? I couldn’t quite read him.

  "You want to tell me about it?" I offered, more curious than ever what he could have dreamt about. Whether it was his subconscious or a test, I wanted to know more.

  He glanced up from his breakfast. "I do, but now isn't the best time." His eyes met mine for a moment longer than necessary. He held something back, I could feel it.

  "Okay." I smiled weakly. He didn't look upset. At least it hadn't been a bad dream. I considered what the Chancellor would have wanted with us, why he would have cared about our dreams and how that would have any relation at all to the tests. It didn't make sense. "Maybe the dream is just a side effect?" I offered in explanation to Joshua. "We were heavily sedated during the procedure. Is it possible the dreams seemed more vivid because of it?"

  "Possible, but unlikely." He gazed at me as he ate another bite of his eggs. "I'm telling you, it felt real. Everything about it," he paused, putting his fork down and having another sip to drink. "I've never had a dream so matter of fact, until I woke up to find it wasn't real at all."

  "I suppose we'll find out later today what the procedure was for." I finished the last bite of my breakfast. "As much as they'd liked to keep us in the dark forever, I have the distinct impression they'll want results sooner rather than later." I glanced down, reaching for my drink when I heard Joshua's faint whisper.

  It scares me.

  "It scares me, too," I admitted glancing up at him.

  His eyes widened, "How did you?"

  "What?" I frowned staring at him.

  How did you do that?

  This time my eyes never left his, I realized his lips hadn't moved and I'd read his thoughts. Had that been the same thing that had happened the previous night when he told me to be quiet, except in reverse? My eyes narrowed, thinking as hard as I could back to him, You did it to me last night.

  "When?" He shook his head, astonished.

  I nearly laughed, realizing half our conversation was in our heads and the other half aloud. We needed to be careful. We could have a huge advantage over the others if this was what they'd done to us. Especially if the others hadn't developed the ability yet. "Last night I was thinking something," my voice dropped again so that only Joshua could hear me. "You answered me," I told him bluntly.

  His eyes widened. That's when you called me Joshua!

  I laughed, feeling more at ease. I just hoped the instructor, Chancellor, and the rest of the town couldn't get a glimpse into our heads. "Yes, but we should be more careful." I stared at him seriously. "Whoever did this to us could potentially be eavesdropping."

  "You're right, Jacqueline." He nodded understanding my words. As strange as it was to hear another name from his lips as he spoke to me, it was getting easier to accept. Any idea what they'll expect of us today?

  I shook my head, glancing at the other recruits as they'd all made their way now into the cafeteria, either in line getting food or seated at the table. It's about to get very interesting.

  CHAPTER 22

  Finishing breakfast, we gathered once again outside by the shooting range. The bows and arrows were lined up at everyone's stall. I stood beside Joshua, no one saying a word.

  Maya spoke up, "Recruits. Please find your assigned stations." Everyone moved to their respective booths. Joshua brushed against me as we walked towards ours, standing there, awaiting our next direction.

  "Today we will see how well the activation of Mindonsiphan is for each of you. Elsa, you are now partners for the remainder of our training sessions with Hazel." Elsa walked over to Hazel, standing beside her at the booth. "Everyone pay attention. It is imperative you listen and follow directions closely. We will be training one group at a time. If any of you so much as raise your bow when it is not your turn, you will be immediately disqualified and fail the tests."

  I heard a murmur of whispers all around us. Neither Joshua nor I said a word. I glanced at him and saw the look on his face – he was still worried someone would disobey, no matter the consequence.

  Maya continued, "Concentration and complete silence is essential. We could separate each group, but we feel it to be a better training experience to let everyone witness and understand why we do this." Again a few whispers erupted and she raised a hand, silencing the recruits. "You are not to try any of this on your own, outside of my instruction. Safety mechanisms are put into place while I'm here," she insisted. I wondered what she meant by that. "Do I have any groups volunteer to go first?"

  No one raised th
eir hand. No one spoke another word. "Well then," Maya glanced at each recruit down the row, walking in front of us and stopping. I was certain I was holding my breath when she stared at me. "How about Adam and Jacqueline go first?"

  I wondered briefly why she chose us and why we always seemed to get picked on. We were most certainly the least trained and ill-prepared at archery. Was this to humiliate us in front of the other recruits? Neither of us said anything. I gave a nod. "Good," Maya spoke up. "Jacqueline, I'd like you to take the bow first. Adam you're to come with me," she instructed.

  I took the bow and an arrow, watching hesitantly as she walked with him out onto the range, standing in front of the target. "Are you kidding?" This was absurd! She wanted me to what, kill him?

  Maya saw my expression and seemed unfazed by it. "You should trust us," she insisted. "You are to aim and shoot at Adam’s head."

  This was nuts! I put the bow down. "Absolutely not!" Did they really want me to kill him?

  Cate spoke up with a smirk, "I'll do it! I'll shoot Adam." She beamed with excitement.

  Maya's eyes narrowed. "You will be quiet, Cate. Another word and you'll be joining Aidan." Cate immediately shut her mouth, looking anything but defeated. I was certain she'd try and hurt me later for getting reamed in front of the recruits. As if it somehow had been my fault. Maya turned to face me. "The procedure will enhance certain skill sets," she explained. "However, you can't reach them without taking the first step."

  "You're serious?" I couldn't believe what they were asking me to do. It was ludicrous! This had to be a test. I wasn’t going to shoot Joshua. I couldn’t!

  If it wasn't unsettling enough, I felt Joshua's gaze. Just do it. I heard his voice in my head. I trust you.

  How could he trust me? It wasn’t as though I was shooting at something beside him! They wanted me to shoot at him. "I don't trust myself!" I screamed back at Joshua though no one had heard his thoughts, I didn't care. "I'll kill him!"