Songbird (Songbird, #1)

by Lisa Edward

  Cooper and Kelli went into one block of apartments, while Riley led me to another. We climbed the stairs to the third floor, apartment ten.

  Riley hesitated as he went to put the key in the door, and then turned to me. “It’s not much, okay? I don’t have much stuff.”

  I nodded reassuringly. I really didn’t care if he had much or not; I didn’t love him for his possessions, I loved him for his warm, generous heart.

  He opened the door. The front door opened directly into the living room, and to say the apartment was furnished sparsely would be an understatement. There was a couch, and a coffee table. That was it.

  In one corner was a pile of CDs, and there were a couple of stacks of books against the wall.

  Over on one wall were some photos, and I walked over to see who was in them. As Kelli had her Wall of Fame in her apartment, Riley had his.

  There were photos of a woman who looked like Riley—obviously his mum—some of the guys in his unit, and me. I smiled as I remembered when each of the shots had been taken. Most of them were from Fiji, but a couple were from the day we went on the balloon ride for Riley’s birthday.

  I looked at the photos of his mum again. “Your mum was very beautiful. You look a lot like her,” I said, looking over my shoulder at him.

  He was standing stock still, and it looked like he was holding his breath. Okay, he was really nervous about me being here, but I couldn’t see why.

  “Is the bedroom through here?” I asked, pointing to one of two doors that were off the living room.

  He nodded. I went to the door and opened it. There was a mattress on the floor, a chest of drawers, and a built-in wardrobe.

  As with the living room, there were photos, only I didn’t need to go over to the wall, I could see them from the doorway. Along one wall, opposite the bed, were three black and white photo canvasses of me, all approximately two foot by two foot square. Two were candid shots, where I was laughing or looking down, and in the third I was looking directly down the lens from under my lashes.

  I looked around at Riley. “You left these up on your wall even after we broke up. Why?”

  He gave me an embarrassed half-smile. “Because I never stopped loving you. Even after I was sent the message to stop texting you, I would still climb into bed every night and talk to you.” He dropped his eyes and furrowed his brow. “Is that creepy?”

  I had tears in my eyes. I don’t think I truly realised how much Riley loved me until that moment. I shook my head. “No, not creepy. I don’t have photos of you on the wall to talk to, but I did buy a bottle of your cologne and spray it on your pillow.” I shrugged, slightly embarrassed by my own confession.

  He chuckled. “Did you really?” His eyebrows raised in surprise, but then a huge grin spread over his face.

  We climbed into bed that night and I lay back looking up at the photos in front of me. It felt strange to be surrounded by images of myself, and then I remembered something.

  “Did you have these photos up when Rebecca stayed here?” I asked curiously.

  He chuckled. “Yeah. She freaked out a bit when she saw them, said she couldn’t sleep with you looking at her all night.” He smiled at me, and pulled me in to his chest. “I told her she was free to leave at any time, but the pictures were staying.”

  I smirked. She had tried to come between us, but it hadn’t worked, and it never would.

  “Can I ask you something about money?” I asked, hesitantly. I didn’t want to offend him, but I had wondered about something for a while.

  He paused for a moment, and I felt his chest heave before he replied. “Yep, go for it.”

  I leaned up on my elbow so I could see his face, and read his expression.

  “Okay well, you obviously don’t have a lot of money, and that’s fine, but I was curious how you paid for the Fiji holiday, and for my bracelet. It can’t have been cheap.”

  I was hoping he hadn’t taken out a loan just to take me on a holiday and buy me a Christmas present.

  “Well, I did have some money saved which I used, but I,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “I weighed up what was important, and I sold my motorbike to pay for a couple of things.”

  He was gazing into my eyes, and I had to bite my lip to stop the emotion from being so evident on my face.

  “But you loved that bike,” I whispered. Biting my lip wasn’t working. “I can’t believe you sold the one thing that you loved to buy me a present.”

  He gave me a crooked smile. “I sold the one possession I loved to make the one person I love happy. That’s a pretty good deal, if you ask me.”

  He reached up to stroke my hair, and I looked at the new tattoo on his arm. “And when did you get this?” I asked, tracing around the letters with my finger.

  He shivered as I tickled his arm, but left it still so I could continue. “The day I got home from seeing you, when you told me it was over.”

  I frowned. “Why would you get my name permanently etched into your skin when I had just ended our relationship?”

  “Because I knew it wasn’t over—at least, not for me. Whether you’re lying here in my arms, or we’re a thousand miles apart, I will always love you. You will always be with me.” He smiled, and looked at the writing again. “The guys thought I was crazy for getting it. They thought it would be a sad reminder, but it actually gave me hope every time I looked at it. It reminded me that at least for a little while, someone absolutely amazing had loved me.”

  Argh! I was so sick of crying, and here I was again, blubbering like a baby. Riley wiped my tears with his thumb, and I kissed the palm of his hand.

  “I’m so sorry, babe. I should have had faith that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

  “But I did do something to hurt you by not being honest with you, and I’m sorry for that.” He squeezed me in tight, and I listened to the steady beating of his heart.

  It felt good to be home.

  We spent the next two days sightseeing when Riley wasn’t on duty. He took me to see the Harbour Bridge, the Opera House, and to Doyle’s On the Beach, a very well-known seafood restaurant. When the guys were on duty, Kelli and I took up residence at the local bar, which was just around the corner from the apartments.

  Kelli had decided that as soon as she got home she would resign from work, start packing her belongings, and move to Sydney. She was smiling from ear to ear as she told me over and over again how much she had missed being with Cooper, and how he had missed her. I was so happy for her. I knew she had found it hard to say goodbye to him every time he had come to visit. She would now be able to live with the man she had loved for most of her life, and start planning her wedding.

  “Where will you get married?” I asked as we were having yet another celebratory glass of champagne.

  “Hmm, good question. If I was still living in Melbourne then I would say probably there, but as I’ll be living in Sydney, I may end up going home to Tasmania. I know that would make my parents happy.”

  I laughed. “You’re spoilt for choice. Have you thought about a date yet?” I knew they had only been engaged for a few days, but she had waited so long that there was no way she would wait any longer than she had to.

  She nodded as she took another sip of champagne. “I’m thinking over the Christmas break, which will give us nearly eight months to get everything organised. That way, the guys should be able to get leave, and the weather in Tassie should be reasonably warm.” Then she smiled at me. “Of course you’ll be my maid of honour.”

  I squealed. I was hoping she would ask, and of course I would be thrilled to do it, and help her plan everything.

  “And Riley will be Best Man—goes without saying, really. So you two will be partnered together.”

  It sounded perfect to me. Finally, everything was on track. Kelli and Cooper were finally engaged, and Riley and I were back together. I breathed a sigh of relief, and thanked the universe for getting her act together.

  Our roles were rever
sed when we arrived at the airport. Instead of me waving a teary farewell to Riley, I was the one boarding the plane, and I discovered this side of the goodbye was just as heart-wrenching.

  Kelli, on the other hand, was excited to be going home, because it meant she could start packing her belongings and arranging to move permanently.

  “When will I see you again?” I asked Riley as I tried to burrow into his chest. “I can come back here anytime; you don’t just have to visit me.”

  I looked up at his face, and he smiled down at me. It was the same smile I had seen every time we had said goodbye, the brave, sad smile that was all too familiar.

  “I’ll come to you as soon as I can, even if it’s only for one night. I don’t want to be away from you.” He kissed my forehead, then rested his cheek on my head, and sighed heavily.

  We were urged to board by the gate crew, and Kelli practically skipped up the gangway to the plane.

  I gave Riley one final kiss before pulling away from him.

  “I’m so glad you came to Sydney with me, babe,” he said.

  “I’m glad you came to Kelli’s party,” I replied.

  I still couldn’t believe that even though he’d thought I didn’t want to see him, he had put himself out there and turned up in the hope that we could work things out. I loved him so much for that—for having enough faith for the both of us.

  RILEY WASN’T due back to Melbourne for another six weeks, and my pool of friends was somewhat diminished. I had confronted Jason with Cole’s comments, and he had assured me that he enjoyed spending time with me and was not doing it out of a sense of obligation. I decided to still have drinks with him occasionally, but not as often as I had been.

  I went into Songbirds to see Marcus, and talk to him about it next. As soon as I mentioned what Cole had said, he turned red, which was a dead giveaway. I told him I didn’t need his charity, and he could find someone else to work the bar shifts. I would, however, continue playing on Monday and Tuesday nights if he still wanted me to.

  As for Cole, I hadn’t seen him since I got back from my trip to Sydney, and I didn’t plan to.

  Well, that wasn’t technically true. I had been sitting out on my balcony two nights ago, wrapped in a blanket, strumming the guitar that Cole had left at my place and not yet bothered to collect. I was trying to remember the song Cole had played on the beach for me, and as I was thinking I looked through the trees down to the street and the cafes below.

  There were hardly any tables set up outside anymore, as the weather had turned cold. But on this particular night, I watched as a waiter carried a small table and one chair outside, and set it up. I thought it was strange that anyone would want to sit outside in the cold to eat.

  But my curiosity turned to surprise when I saw Cole, wearing a heavy jumper and a slouchy beanie, pull the seat around to the other side of the table and sit down, facing my apartment. He sipped on a coffee, then ordered another one, just sitting there by himself for more than an hour. When he finally got up to leave, he took one last look up at my balcony. I couldn’t resist; I reached in around the corner and flicked my lights on and off a couple of times.

  I watched as he waved, and gave me a beaming smile before turning and walking home.

  I spent the next week helping Kelli pack, and arrange to ship her belongings up to Sydney. I arranged her farewell drinks at work, and bought her a going-away present. I usually enjoyed organising things like that, but on this occasion it just upset me because I was organising it to say goodbye to my best friend.

  Kelli left my details with her rental agent in case they needed someone to go back over to her old apartment, and I promised to keep in touch, and visit as soon as I could. Then we hugged again for the one-hundredth time, and I watched as she started on her nine-hour drive to Sydney and her new life.

  I sat on my couch, at a loss with what to do with myself. I had spent all my free time with one of my so-called friends, but now that I was back with Riley I felt totally alone. I hated to admit it to myself, but I missed Cole the most.

  I missed spending time with him, playing music with him, singing with him, and just being able to look at his eyes, and listen to his deep gravelly voice. I sighed, and I tried to think of something else. I still felt so betrayed by him. It felt like a knife twisting in my chest when I thought about what he had said, about not having to spend time with me anymore, like it had been a chore.

  I was just thinking about texting Riley to see if he could Skype me when there was a knock on the door.

  Must be Jason. I dragged myself off the couch, and opened the door.

  It was Riley, dressed in his camouflage shirt and pants.

  “Oh my God!” I threw myself into his arms, and he laughed as I knocked the wind out of him.

  Grabbing his hand, I dragged him in. “What are you doing here?” I asked, beaming at him.

  He kept hold of my hand and led me to the couch, then perched on the edge nervously. He patted the couch beside him for me to sit, and then ran his hand through his hair.

  My stomach twisted with dread. Why was he dressed in his uniform? Did this mean he was on duty? Something was seriously wrong.

  He was looking at me, but he didn’t speak. Finally, he exhaled, and met my eyes. “My unit is being deployed,” he told me. “They’ve given us twenty-four hours to say goodbye to anyone who’s important, and then we have to fly out.” He stopped, watching my face as I’m sure it turned ghostly white.

  “Where are you going? How long will you be gone?” I tried to think of all the important things to ask, but one thing just kept screaming in the back of my brain: “He’s leaving me.”

  He was holding my hands, stroking my knuckles with his thumbs. I knew this because I could see his thumbs moving, but I couldn’t feel it—I couldn’t feel anything, I was totally numb.

  “I can’t tell you where we’re going. It’s a Special Forces Op, and it’s classified, but I think I’ll be gone for about six months.” He paused again as I processed the information—or, should I say, lack of information.

  “Will I be able to reach you? Will you be safe?” I couldn’t go for six months without Riley, but worse still, I couldn’t bear to think of him in a life-threatening situation.

  “There will be limited communication, but we can write to each other, and hopefully the letters will get through.” He looked down at our hands, still locked together. “It will be dangerous, but that’s what we’ve been training for all these years. We’ll be fine, babe, just a walk in the park.”

  I climbed onto his lap. “We only have twenty-four hours together?” I sniffed back a tear. I did not want to spend our last hours together a blubbering mess.

  He looked at his watch. “We have about eighteen hours, now. I got on the first flight I could.”

  Damn! I started crying. Why was I always such a sook?

  “Babe, please don’t cry. I have something important I need to ask you.”

  Looking up, I tried my best to stop the tears from flowing. He was looking at me with such love in his eyes that I had to look away. I had just got him back after all those months apart. I couldn’t say goodbye again.

  I sniffed again, and wiped my nose with a tissue I had tucked up my sleeve. Then I nodded; I was ready to talk about whatever he needed to talk about.

  “So …” He shifted and lifted me off his knee.

  Why did I need to get off his knee? I wanted to stay on his knee forever. But as I was about to protest I realised he had moved me off so he could get down on one knee.

  I gasped and clutched at my chest. Was this really happening?

  “Tara Louise O’Connell, I love you more than life itself. I fell in love with you the night we met; you never fail to amaze me with your generosity, and the love and warmth you give to everyone around you. I feel so blessed to be one of those people. Being loved by you has made me a stronger, better man. I know I can’t give you everything you deserve, but I would happily give you everything I have if y
ou would agree to be my wife. Will you marry me?”

  He stopped talking, and somewhere along the line he had pulled a ring box out of his pocket, but I swear I don’t remember it happening. I was just trying to breathe, and remember everything that he had just said, the words replaying over and over in my head.

  I think he took my silence as contemplation, so he quickly started talking again. “I know we haven’t been together for that long, and it’s a lot to ask of you to wait for me to get back. But I know it will help me get through the next six months, just knowing that you are here waiting for me. And I hope it will help you get through the next six months, knowing that I’m coming back to you. And when I get back, I promise I’ll relocate to Melbourne, and get out of field work, just so we can be together.”

  I opened my mouth, still stunned. Then I nodded. “Yes, oh, Riley, yes, of course I will marry you. I love you so much. You know I would wait an eternity for you, just as long as you promise you’ll come back.”

  Tears were falling again, but this time they were happy tears, and I let them tumble down my cheeks.

  I looked down at the ring. It was perfect. One oval-cut diamond on two thin diamond-covered bands. My hands were shaking so much that Riley had to hold me still to slip the ring on. I looked down at my hand; it fit perfectly, and it was exactly what I would have chosen.

  I looked into his eyes. He was crying too. I threw myself into his arms, and he went rolling backwards onto the floor, still holding me, laughing.

  “I promise I’ll come back to you,” he whispered.

  After we had stopped crying, laughing and rolling around on the floor kissing, we got back up on the couch and snuggled. I kept looking at my watch, praying that time would somehow stand still, but every time I checked another fifteen minutes had passed.

  “Stop looking at your watch,” Riley told me as he nuzzled into my neck.

  “Give me something else to focus on then,” I said, with my eyebrows raised.

  He gave me a sexy smile, and then grabbed my hand and led me into the bedroom.