The Knockabouts

by DK Williamson

The Cap’n thinks Xen isn’t your actual name, but he’ll answer your question anyway because it’s a good one and Endeavoring Spacers ought to know the answer.

  The weird, wild, and wonderful worlds of non-Human space host an equally weird, wild, and not-so-wonderful collection of dangerous sentient baddies. While Humans control the largest single piece of our galaxy, non-Humans collectively control the majority. As varied as Human space is, non-Human space makes it seem dull and monolithic. There are an untold number of non-Human sentient species out there. It’s untold because who is going to try and count them? Not the Cap’n, that’s for sure. Dangerous species? The Cap’n firmly believes if a species is sentient, it’s dangerous.

  Here’s a few nasty ones Humans are likely to encounter, but there are many, many, many more.

  First, the Gorsaurians. The inhabitants of a few dozen planets, the Gorsaurians are a bipedal, lipless, warm-blooded lizard race, legendary for their aggressive, warlike tendencies and inability to make verbal use of the letters B, F, M, P, V, W. They can’t even get along with themselves, and only within military units do they function as a group. Even then, things can get ugly.

  Gorsaurians are commonly found in mercenary units, pirate outfits, and working in criminal gangs throughout known space. Dangerous in close quarter combat(they can’t shoot for spit), watch out for their claws and jaws. They prefer to fight close-in and can use a vast array of weaponry. Their cute little nubby tail is a vestige of their crawly past and an excellent target when you’re giving them the boot(Yeah, Jorlong, you remember). They also smell bad, no matter their hide markings. Endeavoring Spacers may get the impression the Cap’n doesn’t care for Gorsaurians, and they’d be right—unless they’re a card-carrying member of the Endeavoring Spacers of course.

  The Thuntos are a wide spread species originating, oddly enough, from the planet Thunto in Gouss dominated space. Six-armed and two-legged, the Thuntos have only one thing going over the Gorsaurians, they aren’t bad-smelling lizards. They make up a sizable portion of criminal gangs, pirate crews, and general thuggery, with their ability to throw a flurry of punches serving them well in those lines of work. They have flat faces, so there is no satisfaction of breaking their noses, but they are nevertheless quite punchable, especially when they start with the offensive hand gestures.

  Orks. Massive bipeds originating oddly enough from Orkaria and just as oddly serving in the same role as Gorsaurians and Thuntos. Oddly, they are ugly, ill-tempered, and tremendously strong brutes, much like… well you know where this is going. Punchable, but watch the teeth.

  The Morloks originate from the opposite end of the galaxy from we Humans. It’s too bad they had to enter Human space because they are trouble with a capital M. Squat little treacherous grey big-eared bipedal things, Morloks will swindle you blue if you don’t watch them. Swift of mind, hand, and foot, they are a handful in a fight and masterful cheaters at games of chance involving cards, dice, sticks, or any other object or apparatus. The Cap’n will say it again, they are trouble, and that has almost nothing to do with how many credits he lost to them over the years before he learned to stop gambling with the little grey REDACTED.

  Perhaps the most dangerous species the Cap’n ever encountered are the Bumians, at least the female of the species. Normally an unusually handsome green-blue skinned people with a highly agreeable nature, they are capable of sadistic torment and loud and abusive tirades. They are also known to throw hard objects. Perhaps the Cap’n is projecting the tendencies of his second wife upon an entire species, but he feels it important for all Endeavoring Spacers to know of what the Bumians are capable, and more importantly, the hazards of marriage.

  The Cap’n’s advice for dealing with non-Humans? Treat them like you would any other being. Be wary, be armed, and be ready to befriend, fight, or flee as circumstances dictate.

  Addendum - The Cap’n must apologize to young Xen and the Fobe family, controlling partners in the FEX Astrogation Systems Company. They are the F in FEX. It was an honest mistake and he meant no offense. In the The Cap’n’s defense, he does receive a great deal of gag questions from beings using obvious pseudonyms and he made an assumption. We all know what happens when we assume, right Endeavoring Spacers?

  . . .

  Turgis Commercial Station was owned and operated by the Stahal Mining Consortium, serving as a home for company workers and their families. The holo-greetings at the exits from the docking and berth areas displayed, ‘Attractions for all sorts, from sedate to scintillating. Entertainments for everyone, from kids to freaks.’

  Strategically placed within easy transit distance to the two habitable in-system planets and near the mineral-rich rock fields that made the Hadley system an important part of the galactic mineral market, Turgis Station was a busy place with constant in-and-out flow of space traffic.

  Ursula grimaced as she closed the connection on her data pad. “He had a Skemak accent.”

  Teller shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “Is that a bad thing?”

  “By itself, no. If those we are dealing with are Kairvaens or any of the other Mercatans, we don’t want to be negotiating with them without a translator.”

  “I don’t understand. They speak Syndicate Standard right? We’re in Human space.”

  “Mercatans don’t source from here, even if they are human. They’ll meet us halfway in the language, but that’s as far as they usually go. They love to call for punition if you stumble with their language during a negotiation.”

  “Punition?”

  “A punishment. Chrono is credits, that’s what they say. Waste their time, they want you to pay. It’s rapid fire exchanges and they like to throw their opponents off guard.”

  “Opponents?”

  “That’s how they view it. Dealing is fighting. Hew ost hors, they call it. Haggle or out.”

  “You know that, but don’t know their lingo?”

  “Some, but it’s not enough. One must be highly fluent to be effective… and that goes in both directions.”

  “You sound like you’ve dealt with them before. How did you handle it then?”

  “Usually a being fluent in both languages would translate, sometimes just a dictionary-translation bot. I have my own dictrabot, but I didn’t bring it with me. I didn’t plan on conducting any negotiations once I hired Ned and ARC Lance.”

  “So what’s our plan?”

  “I have basic translation capabilities on my data pad… and this isn’t a conventional business dealing…,” she trailed off while in thought. “I’ve never conducted such a transaction, so if our potential trade partners wish to follow Mercatan protocols, we’ll walk.”

  “Where are we meeting them?”

  “A passageway on Three-Deck.”

  Teller turned to Ho. “You’re our backup plan. If things get out of hand on the station, we may need you to come help. We might need you to do an emergency preflight if we need to get gone in a hurry. Can you manage that?”

  “I can certainly have the Lance ready for rapid departure, but if I were to leave the ship unattended and need to regain entry, I am—”

  “I was coming to that. You have no palm to scan or eyeball to have surveyed, so here’s an access code,” he said holding up the display on his data pad. On it was a long series of letters, numbers, and symbols. “Got it?”

  “I do.”

  “After you nail that, the security system will query you for your name. It’s H-O. Figured anyone gets that far would think we used my name. Understand?”

  “I do.”

  “Stay on the coms and keep an ear out for us.”

  . . .

  The station was busy as expected. The walkways and other visible areas were clean and bright, a reasonable expectation for a station that served in the capacity Turgis did.

  Leaving the walkways that edged the docking ring, they entered the main pedestrian thoroughfares that passed through the station and joined the flow of traffic, Ursula leading the way.

 
Most in the walkway followed the natural flow of foot traffic, beings on one side of the corridor went one direction while those on the other side went in the opposite, but as was often the case, there were those that chose to walk into the wind.

  Ursula led them toward the core of the station, then took a right. A hundred paces down they encountered a sign displaying a message in numerous languages.

  Advisory: - the area you are approaching may cause offense to certain beings. Those of certain ages, religions, genders, cultures, beliefs, customs, practices, faiths, peoples, races, species, associations, tribes, packs, clans, crews, cults, political systems, origins, health conditions, particular brand loyalties, and any other sources, known or unknown, that may trigger offense, should consider their actions prior to entering. Turgis Commercial Station is not responsible for adverse reactions due to offense or shock by patrons, inadvertent or otherwise. -

  “We could go around,” Jessop said. “Take a more circuitous route.”

  Ursula smiled. “No need. My sensibilities are not that delicate.”

  “I wasn’t worried about yours. My sensibilities on the other hand….”

  The five of them walked past the sign and down the wide corridor. They passed by The Playroom, Eroticaporium, Sinner’s, Tentacle-O-Rama, Touchy’s, Seedy Myers’ Shockfest, and The FreaK-o-TariuM, occasionally veering one way or another to avoid close encounters of the unsavory kind.

  “We should have taken the long way,” Ned muttered.

  Ursula slowed her pace. “It just occurred to me that the people we’re meeting with could represent ZOC.”

  “Zoc?” Teller said.

  “Zatto Oblust Corporation. They are heavy into the tech fields, and they are Mercatan.”

  “Right. Our energy weapons system was made by one of their subsidiaries. Is Zatto a problem?”

  Her expression and emphatic head nod indicated it was. “They are not pleasant to deal with, let’s leave it at that. There is no official deal to be negotiated here, no contract, and if we are dealing with Zatto, we cannot trust them. They are the sort to be interested in the data we have, so we must consider the possibility.”

  “Even if it’s not a working program?”

  “There is still useful code there and it serves to harm Altairie.”

  Teller nodded. “We do this like we planned. Ned stays with you. Ord covers the right, me on the left. If trouble starts, you and Ned clear out and let Ord and I cover the retreat.”

  “I remember. The man I spoke with said it was a low traffic area. He also said he has a Tyko with him. I’ve heard of them, but what do they look like?”

  “Imagine a crossing a giant snake with a large ursus.”

  “You mean a bear?”

  “Yes, and a giant snake. Combine them, give it a big brain, and you have a Tyko.”

  “Are they large?”

  “Imagine a taller Ord wearing a fur coat, scales, and a red-eyed reptile mask,” he said with a smile. “That big, that ugly.”

  “Did he mention that as a threat?”

  “Maybe. I’d guess it was more a warning. Tykos aren’t to be taken lightly.”

  “Maybe I should have countered by mentioning Ord.”

  Teller laughed again. “It’s not the same. Heavy-gravs like him don’t carry the rep Tykos do. If I knew how to swap Ord for one, I’d consider it.”

  Ord rumbled in laughter.

  “If they don’t know he’s coming, it might be to our advantage,” Jessop said.

  Teller glanced at his friend. “Ord Hawmer, galaxy’s largest walking hole card.”

  . . .

  The quartet walked down the corridor marked on Ursula’s data pad. As the man said, it was low traffic, in fact the four were the only beings in sight until they reached an open area. On the opposite side awaited a pair of Humans and their retinue, three Gorsaurians and the Tyko the man had mentioned to Ursula. The Tyko was large, even for his kind. A long scar ran along the side of his head and down the neck, disappearing into the neck of his clothing.

  One of the Humans walked toward them. “Greetings, gentlebeings,” the man said. His accent had a harsh aspect, his smile an ingratiating one. “I am Victor Ramtik. You are here for a purpose?”

  “I was told a meeting of parties would take place here.”

  “You are not the party that made initial contact, but the one that inquired this day?”

  “Today, yes. I believe you are the one I spoke with.”

  “Correct. You control the data cases? Two, yes?”

  “Two, and yes we have them.”

  “Little matter the who is who. You are here to make deal?”

  “We’re here to consider your offer.”

  “Yes. Come, I’ll introduce.”

  They followed Ramtik several steps before he turned to them and said, “Wait here please. It will be but a unit.”

  Ramtik walked to the man in the middle of the group and leaned in closely, speaking quietly.

  Teller looked at the Tyko standing on his side behind one of the Gorsaurians, the other two on Ord’s. “I don’t want to know how you got that scar,” he said moving a finger downward near his face.

  The Tyko drew in a deep breath. “Blugger Beast on Nygaard,” he said in a heaving, hissing, but very understandable voice. “Opened my head to the brain.”

  Teller grimaced and smiled. “I said I didn’t want to know.”

  The Tyko bared his teeth and drew in another loud breath. The gesture almost made Ursula shiver.

  Ramtik gestured for Ursula to approach, then at the man he’d been speaking to. “Master Chrusos Stambul, representative for negotiation.”

  Stambul stepped forward and dipped his head in greeting, a gesture Ursula returned. “Use pairing, the mix-mash, yes?” Stambul said. “This is not contract situation. We make agreement, exchange items, and depart.”

  Ursula nodded. “Nik punition?”

  “None.”

  She looked over her shoulder at Teller. “We’ll use both Syndic Standard and Skemak.”

  “You do have cases present?” Stambul said.

  “Accessible. With other members of our party.”

  “Good. So large. I will not inquire of acquisition process. Culmanato suffick.”

  Ursula nodded. “Inquiry. What entity do you represent?”

  “Veracus largess. One with considerable resources and an interest in your offering.”

  Ursula decided to take a risk and said, “Zatto Oblust?”

  Stambul barely reacted, but it was enough to confirm her suspicion. Her expression hardened.

  “We are prepared to pay you now,” Stambul said, realizing the deal was already in peril. He could not help but notice Ursula’s reaction and he responded quickly, trying to assuage her misgivings. He smiled broadly and gestured toward a hard case on the deck nearby. “Carperan currency. Notes, coinage, or permalloy plates. Your choice.”

  “We will decline,” Ursula said curtly, shaking her head emphatically. “Thank you for your time.”

  Stambul scowled. “Nik Stridan. You cannot walk away. Take the offer.”

  Ursula held up a flat and rigid hand, pointing at the Zatto representative. “Nik. Offren distabule. It’s off the table.”

  “Nik, nik. We make deal,” Stambul said as his expression hardened.

  “Not with Zatto we won’t. Reichan Enti. We are finished.”

  Stambul’s assistant gestured and the Gorsaurians and Tyko moved forward.

  Teller drew and fired, his shot blasting a hole through the left leg of the nearest Gorsaurian. The lizard sprayed saliva as he fell and growled in pain, the Tyko closing from behind the downed creature.

  Ord charged into the pair of Gorsaurians on his side, batting aside an arm as the lead lizard attempted to claw him. A sharp right jab sent the monster reeling into a wall. Ord turned to face the other lizard and found his opponent coming at him with his arms held wide, talons extended, a grappling, clawing move the lizards used often to good effec
t. Ord stepped into the attempt, snatching the Gorsaurian’s arms at the elbows, and knowing a snapping bite was soon coming, he slammed his head into the lizard’s snout, stunning him. A quick shift had Ord lifting the Gorsaurian by the crotch and shoulder. A grunting heave sent the lizard flying and landing on his downed partner. Ord grabbed the sling of his D91.

  Teller pointed the muzzle of his blaster at the Tyko’s face, prompting the furry beast to stop in his tracks.

  “You Tykos aren’t known for being stupid,” Teller said in a cold voice. “Ugly? Yeah, but not stupid. Move on me and I’ll give you an extra couple of holes in your head, front and back.”

  The Tyko growl-hissed and held his paws up. “Not pay enough to die. No harm. Honor-bonded word of Mlaan.”

  “You’re Mlaan?”

  The Tyko bobbed his head once. “Yes.”

  Teller holstered his blaster and bobbed his head in the same way as the Tyko. He saw Ursula and Ned training their blasters on Stambul and his assistant.

  Teller looked back to Mlaan. “Business people…,” he said angling his head at the ZOC representatives.

  Mlaan growl-hissed again.

  Teller nodded. “I know, right? A being’s gotta make a living somehow.”

  “Make deal,” Stambul said. “Be easier. My superiors will not like this.”

  “That’s not my problem,” Ursula said.

  “It is. It will be problem for all. Make deal. Zatto knows the program you seek to sell. Altairie left a data trail when they released the information. They know things. Make deal.”

  “We’re leaving.”

  Stambul winced and shook his head. “Bad. Bad for us all. I know who you are, Miz Raik. All of you. You have enough difficulties as it is without gaining the ire of Zatto Oblust. The offer is genuine and generous. We can find refuge for you.”

  “We’re leaving.”

  Teller drew his blaster and brought it to bear on Stambul. “Urs, Ned, head for the ship. Gather up the rest of the crew while you’re at it. We’ll keep these guys occupied.”

  Stambul growled in frustration. “Nik. Think of the consequences. Bounteous troubles.”