by Susan Laine
“Shut up.” But Charlie chuckled saying it. Then he grew serious. “Can we get past this?”
“Only if you promise never to have a meltdown like that again. Which you sort of did already, I guess. But still, I don’t want to deal with hate like that.”
“It wasn’t hate,” Charlie argued. “It was, I don’t know… jealousy?”
Startled, Will pulled back and studied Charlie’s face. “What do you mean?”
Charlie frowned. “I didn’t want anyone else to see you like that.”
Despite everything that had happened, this single possessive statement had to be the strangest thing Will had heard all night. The notion that his best friend had resented others seeing Will dressed like a sexy girl was… insane? Mind-boggling? Astonishing?
The selfish, avaricious tone in Charlie’s voice just confused things more. Will felt as though he were stumbling about in the dark, unable to follow the perplexing trail of breadcrumbs Charlie had left in his wake. The jump from abuse to attraction was too sudden. And now there were even more layers of meaning?
“That’s a bit… covetous.” Will was surprised at himself, having never used that word in his entire life. But he did love big fancy words. “Have you always, like, thought that way about me, or was it just me dressed like that because of the dare?”
Charlie shrugged. “If I’ve seen you in that light, I’ve never noticed it. It sure as shit never surfaced before.” He shuddered. “I don’t like who I was in that moment, a guy who could do that to you… or anyone. It sucked. I don’t ever wanna feel so out of control, so violent and vicious.”
Will inspected Charlie’s features. He saw the familiar, of course—green eyes; black-and-blond-streaked hair; muscular, even robust, body; casual clothes. Then he noticed the strange new things—wet trails of tears down his cheeks, hollow stare, broken expression, rigid posture.
It was tough to tell which aspect hinted at the truth. Will had seen a side of Charlie he hoped he would never witness again. That facet scared him.
Charlie’s vague answer, though, didn’t explain anything.
“What… what would happen if… if I dressed like that again?” Will asked, a lump in his throat.
Charlie’s head whipped in his direction. His features hardened. Then his eyes grew dark, his cheeks reddened, and he swallowed. “I… I don’t think you should.”
“What would you do?” Will pressed, needing to know if his friend would go off the deep end again under similar conditions.
Charlie looked away. “I don’t know. If you do… I can’t see it.”
For the first time in his life, Will had to consider the possibility that his best friend might not be accepting of every way Will might choose to express himself. He had no inclination to wear sexy gowns and makeup; he didn’t want to be a woman in any sense of the word.
But… if he did, would Charlie not be able to accept it? If that was the case, what else might trigger such a violent outburst and furious denial? Beneath a mask of civility and friendship, was Charlie hiding another creature, a monster capable of… of savagery and hostility?
Maybe Will had been too hasty considering forgiving Charlie….
As if reading Will’s mind, Charlie finally faced him again. Remorse and shame colored his expression, and his eyes glistened with fresh tears.
“Will… I’m saying that because… if you did do that again, I… I don’t know if I’d want to erase the effeminate stuff or… or hold you down and fuck you six ways from Sunday.”
Okay, nope. Now that was the absolute weirdest thing Will had heard all night.
Chapter 3
A week later
“YOU BOYS got everything you need?”
Charlie cringed, slumping on the passenger seat. “Dammit, Dad. You’ve asked a hundred times already. Yeah, we have everything. Besides, we’re going on a class trip to a ski lodge in Denver, not a bachelor party in Vegas.”
In the back seat of the Toyota, Will suppressed most of his laugh behind his hand and a cute cough. That thought made Charlie cringe again. Will’s expressions weren’t cute. Nothing about him was cute. Okay, fine, a lot about Will was cute. But in a neutral sort of way. Yeah, neutral.
Exhaling deeply, Charlie allowed himself to relax. As he closed his eyes, though, the mental image of Will looking like a stunning chick burned onto his retinas. He doubted even an acid wash would erase the memory. And there went the calm. Hello, tension.
“I know this is a class trip,” Mr. Dean replied curtly, his usual upbeat attitude diminished. “If your school headed off to Vegas, they’d be going there without you two.”
“You’re being ridiculous, Dad,” Charlie retorted, crossing his arms and sulking. “Next you’ll be saying that we need to watch out for strippers at the lodge and hookers on the train. It is a sleeper, after all. We could, I don’t know, end up having fun?”
His father glared at him from the driver’s seat. “First of all, I thought you were dating Ash. Or has that changed? And secondly, if you’re not dating Ashley, feel free to enjoy the ladies. Just remember, you knock one of them up ’cause you were too dumb to use a raincoat, you will do the right thing and marry her. Do I make myself clear?”
If Charlie hadn’t been embarrassed before, a sex lecture in front of his best friend was sure to do the trick. “Fine. Now please shut up,” he hissed back, slinking down on the seat, embarrassed out of his mind. Fortunately his father never objected to Charlie talking back to him, swears and all. He was cool like that. Unless Charlie behaved badly in public. That was a whole other ball game.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Dean. I’ll keep an eye on him.” Will’s annoying know-it-all smirk from the back seat made Charlie want to throw him out of the car—or off the train once they got there.
“I knew I could count on you, Will Tucker,” Mr. Dean said with a relieved smile.
Naturally Charlie flipped off both of them.
“HOW LONG is this train ride to Denver again?” Will asked, huffing as he hauled his luggage toward the locomotive in question.
“About fortysomething hours. At least there aren’t any transfers, or we’d be wasting our whole two-week trip standing on never-ending, boring train platforms.” Charlie had thrown his own backpack over his shoulder, which had been a mistake, considering the damn thing weighed a ton. Now his arm hurt. He started to chuckle. “I have a surprise for you.”
Will stopped, mostly to take a breather, but curious and suspicious too, if his frown was any indication. “Oh?”
Charlie’s last surprise had left Will a mess in a bathtub, so Charlie understood that the guy would have reservations. “Don’t worry. This is a nice surprise.” He leaned in and whispered, “I got us a special room. A bedroom suite. Just for the two of us. It’s got a private toilet and shower.”
Will dropped his pack on the ground and squealed. “Oh my God! Really?” He jumped into Charlie’s arms and wrapped his legs around Charlie’s waist, laughing his ass off. “You’re my hero. I love you.”
Charlie grinned in relief as he held on to his best friend so Will wouldn’t fall flat on his ass on the platform. “Glad you’re happy. I know the others won’t be. They still have to sleep in those roomettes. They’re not entirely uncomfortable, but they are small. Tuna-can small.”
Will hopped down and stared at Charlie with wide-eyed enthusiasm. “But our room will be more spacious?”
“Yeah. I mean, there still won’t be a lot of leg room, per se. But it’ll be bigger than what the others have.”
Charlie peered down the length of the platform, seeking a glimpse of Mr. Travers, their gym teacher, who’d been selected to chaperone the boys in the class during the trip. The girls would in turn be supervised by Ms. Mallory, the science teacher. In any case, Mr. Travers would blow a gasket once he learned Charlie had reserved a cabin behind his back, especially since he’d be stuck in smaller quarters.
There’d be a financial loss too, since, this being a school-sanctioned trip, t
he reservation had been done in bulk for the entire class. Now there’d be an empty roomette—though Charlie doubted, knowing his friends, that it would remain vacated for too long. Still, the train officials might disapprove of the waste of space….
Shrugging off the guilt, Charlie vowed to make amends, monetarily and otherwise, later. Hell, he’d been lucky to even get a sleeper room on the fully booked train, and it had cost him a pretty penny. Fortunately there’d been a cancellation and Charlie had been faster than lightning.
For now, nothing would get in his and Will’s way.
Will grew serious. “Speaking of the others…. Have you talked to them since the, uh… you know?” He swished his wrist about in a telling gesture.
Charlie ducked his head to hide his ashamed face. “No.”
“Not even… Ash?” Will gently touched Charlie on the shoulder. “She’s your girlfriend.”
Grimacing, Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah, but… I don’t know what to say to her. Fuck, I still don’t know how to make it up to you.”
“You said you were sorry. That’s good enough for me.” Despite his words, Will glanced away, and Charlie knew he was holding something back. They never used to have secrets from each other. Guess things changed after you practically beat up and actually humiliated your best friend. “Fine.” Will released a long breath and smiled, though it was a bit forced. “Let’s just find our cabin and get on the road.”
“You mean on track,” Charlie quipped, feeling more like himself now that he could jest.
Will snorted. “Ha-ha. You’re a funny guy.” He punched Charlie on the arm before picking up his bag and moving forward again.
With a small smile of his own, Charlie followed hot on his trail. By the end of this trip, he might not have a girlfriend or many friends left. But he would have his best friend… or else.
“WELL, UM… it’s not exactly the size of a tuna can, but not far off.” Will entered their room. “And this is supposed to fit three people? Jesus, I really don’t want to know what accommodations the others have if their sleepers are even smaller than this.”
“Yeah, yeah, life’s a bitch and then you die. Could you fucking move over already? People are shoving my ass to get by.”
“I thought you liked people grabbing your ass.” Will gracefully moved aside to let Charlie in. “Grumpy.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Charlie dropped his backpack unceremoniously on the floor. Then he shut and locked the door. “Did you see the others?” He’d texted Mr. Travers about his and Will’s change of quarters but had gotten no reply as of yet. He prayed there wouldn’t be an altercation. He didn’t need any further complications.
“No.” Will fished out his iPhone and checked it. “No texts or missed calls. Guess they’re not on board yet. I’m sure we’ll hear from them soon.” He tucked his phone back in his jeans pocket and looked around, hands on his hips. “Okay, now that we’re here, it’s not so bad.”
The first thing that caught Charlie’s attention was the control panel and electrical outlet next to the headrest. “Fucking awesome.” He ambled around Will and knelt on one knee on the large blue-cushioned sofa to plug in his iPhone and his small portable speakers. After he tapped the screen a few times, rock music filled the cabin.
Will cocked his head, frowning. “What the hell is that? You’re a blues and jazz man.”
“It’s a train mix. Duh.” Charlie grinned wickedly at him. “I searched for train-related songs and saved a playlist.”
Will chuckled. “Train songs while we’re on a train. That’s kinda… superfluous.”
“You and your big words. Nerd.”
“Redundant.” Will could have meant the comment or the matter at hand; Charlie had no idea. Will listened for a moment. “I don’t know this one. The only train song that springs to mind is ‘Midnight Train to Georgia.’”
“Yeah, I got that one here too.” Charlie studied the Spotify playlist he’d compiled thanks to recommendations by the program after a search for the word train. “This is ‘Rock N Roll Train’ by AC/DC.”
Will shrugged. “Not bad. Not great, but not bad.”
A knock from the door caused both of them to jump.
Charlie hurried to the door and opened it, coming face-to-face with Mr. Travers.
Charlie swallowed hard, his whole body jolting at the unbidden intrusion that could bring a speedy end to his plans.
Though stern-looking, with bushy eyebrows and an equally bushy eighties-style mustache, Mr. Travers didn’t appear terribly upset. He glanced at Charlie, then at Will, and finally the room itself. He harrumphed, his lips pursing.
“Sweet deal you got, Charlie.” His brown eyes burned a hole in Charlie’s self-confidence. “No more changes without informing me, understood?”
Charlie nodded frantically, glad he wasn’t booted off the train or forced to relocate to new digs. “Yes, sir. Sorry. Just, uh….” He couldn’t find the right words to explain the situation without going into specifics about his relationship with Will.
“Relax, kiddo.” Mr. Travers nodded to them both. “We’re one deck below, in case you need anything.” He was about to turn away when he stopped and stared hard at them. “I will be doing a bed check later, boys, so no funny business. If I find booze or smokes, not only will I confiscate them, but you will be on the next train back home. Do I make myself clear?”
Both Charlie and Will nodded, murmuring their swift assents. With another snort and a shake of his head, Mr. Travers walked away.
Charlie and Will sagged in simultaneous relief. God, that had been intense.
Charlie closed and locked the door, thanking all the gods around for his reprieve. Then he returned to the seat and his phone, intending to turn up the volume. Perhaps that would relax the atmosphere again.
But Will blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, as much as I like your musical selection, could we please knock it off for now? We haven’t even left yet.”
Charlie glanced out the window. And yes, the train was still sitting firmly in place at the station. “Huh. We came in kinda late, and yet—”
Exactly at that moment, deep vibrations emanated from beneath their feet as the train rumbled to life. The speakers rattled outside in the hall. Cue the announcer. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard and thank you for choosing Amtrak.”
The annoyingly upbeat and perky male voice then proceeded to give out the train number, destination, times of arrival and departure—which was imminent—and a warning for people to have their tickets ready for inspection. The travel time turned out to be as Charlie had estimated—about forty hours, give or take.
Charlie smirked at Will, who flipped him off. “You got lucky. Shut the fuck up.”
That comment more than anything reset their awkward relationship back to normalcy, and Charlie was able to laugh out loud without reservations. Perhaps they’d be cool after all.
Chapter 4
“FINE. I’LL stop the music until we really get underway.” Charlie plopped down on the blue seat with the firm cushion and room for two, and peered out the window. “Still at the station. Guess there are passengers on the platforms or something.”
Will sat opposite him on the single chair and sniffed the air. “It doesn’t smell as bad as I expected. I was sure there’d be, like, awful body odors from the previous occupants, or maybe bleach or detergent. But there’s no stench at all.”
“Yeah. Just a bit stuffy.” He nodded toward the climate control panel by the closet. “We can change the temp if it’s too hot.”
“I wonder if the window opens….” Will rested his fingertips over the glass, pensive.
“Why don’t we wait until we’re actually moving. Otherwise we’ll just breathe in fumes or shit from the station.” Charlie glanced around, checking out their quarters. “It’s also pretty clean.”
“Yeah, but not a lot of room.” Will pointed at the sink and the tiny vanity by the door, with a small cabinet underneath. “At least we have our own b
athroom. Sort of.”
Charlie waved at the small enclosure behind Will’s chair. “There’s a toilet and shower over there.” From his vantage point, he could make out a long hose and a round showerhead but no sign of the toilet seat.
“Cramped space, though.” Will wrinkled his nose cutely.
“I don’t know. How about we consider it, like… intimate?”
Will gave him a warning glare. Charlie blushed and ducked his head. He’d only meant the remark as a joke to turn a negative into a positive. He hadn’t intended to insert sexual innuendo into their fragile relationship.
Perhaps to defuse the situation, Will gazed out the window. “It’s weird seeing things from so high up. I’ve never traveled on the upper level. So the others are on the lower level?”
“No clue. Probably. Isn’t that what Mr. Travers said?” Charlie shrugged. To be honest, he hadn’t thought about their friends even for a second as he’d booked passage on this upgraded room. He didn’t care where they slept, only that he and his best friend had their own space. Selfish, and poor friendship regarding the others, he was well aware.
Will tapped his iPhone with swift, efficient motions. “I’m texting the others where we are so they don’t worry.” He glanced up quickly. “Or did you text Ash already?”
Charlie squirmed on his double seat, discomfort felt on every inch of his body. “Just, like, a quick heads-up that I’m not sleeping in the same place as she does.” Finally he sighed and came clean. “I… I think we’re gonna break up.”
Will placed his phone on the folding table between their seats. He didn’t gasp, so he clearly wasn’t surprised. From his blank expression, Charlie couldn’t figure out what to expect.
“You sure?” Will asked at last, his tone softening. “On this trip?”
Charlie fiddled with his phone, checking his emails, random news, playlists—whatever to avoid facing his friend. He shrugged again although he felt anything but casual and indifferent. “We’ll see. It might come up.”
