by Susan Laine
Will worried his bottom lip. “Is she… interested in someone else?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
Charlie could practically hear Will’s gulp across the room, as small as it was. “Are you?”
By divine intervention or odd twist of fate, a stark knock on the door saved Charlie from having to answer.
Charlie hurried to the door and yanked it open. It was the train conductor in his uniform of navy blue pants and hat, and a white shirt with epaulets with teal stripes.
“Oh shit, the tickets.” Charlie fished his rumpled ticket out of his pocket and blushed. “Sorry.”
The middle-aged man with tiny round glasses smiled. “No problem, sir.” He scanned the bar code with a small gadget. A satisfying beep told Charlie everything was okay.
“Here you go, sir.” Will, always polite, handed his own ticket to the conductor, receiving another positive bleep from the ticket scanner. While the man checked his ticket, Will whispered in Charlie’s ear, “Ticket inspectors—you’ve got to hand it to them.”
Charlie snickered so hard he had to turn his back or die of laughter. It took a great deal of fortitude to gather his composure and meet the conductor with a straight face again.
“Thank you, gentlemen. Have a nice trip.” The conductor turned and was about to walk off when he bumped into a girl with pink hair, a tank top, and tight jeans. “Oh. Beg your pardon, miss.”
Ashley giggled. “My fault, I assure you.” She looked over his shoulder at the boys, and her expression turned playfully sour and scolding. “Just came looking for these two douchebag friends who upgraded without the rest of us knowing anything about it.” Then she smiled congenially. “I’ve had my ticket checked on the lower floor. But I have it here in case you—”
“It’s fine, ma’am.” He glanced at the boys with a knowing smirk—boys, you’re in trouble now—and walked to the next cabin, knocking firmly.
Meanwhile, Ashley glared at Charlie and Will, hands on her hips. “What the hell, guys?”
Will opened and closed his mouth. Then he quickly pointed at Charlie. “He did this.”
Charlie gasped. “You little snitch.” When Will, cheeks red, retreated into the room, Charlie faced the inevitable. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Ashley pursed her lips. “A lot of that has been going around.”
Charlie nodded. Then he stole a peek at Will on the seat, watching out the window but also clearly pretending not to listen.
“I guess I thought Will and I needed some, you know, privacy to mend fences and shit.”
Ashley’s expression softened instantly. “Aww, Charlie, why didn’t you just say? I would have understood.” She leaned in and bussed his cheek. “You boys make up. If you’re done after dinner, come downstairs. We’ll be playing some cards across the hall. Our rooms are right next to each other.” Then she snorted. “I mean roomettes. Whatever the fuck that means.”
This was the reason why Charlie liked Ash so much and had picked her to be his girlfriend. She had a mouth on her and an attitude to match. But she also had a heart of gold—and Charlie was a fucking mess right now. She deserved better. Could Charlie be so callous and cold as to ditch her on a vacation trip?
Ashley smiled and ruffled his hair. “Have fun, you two. Later.” Then she hustled away, her hips swinging, her long legs managing to traipse with the grace of a swan. How’d she do that? Women must have, like, special springs where men only had blocks of wood.
Charlie blew out a relieved breath, shut the door, and returned to lounge on his two-seater sofa. Just then the train jolted and started to move out of the station. Their journey had finally begun for real. DC’s buildings and streets remained in view from the window, however, and would do so for a while yet.
“How’d it go?” Will fished for information.
“Fine. Fine.” Charlie flopped to lie on his back on the seat, feet dangling off the side.
Will made a curious, noncommittal noise at the back of his throat but said nothing. Then he got up and dragged his backpack to the white closet and opened it for inspection. “Hey, there’s hangers in here.”
“I’ve got nothing that needs hanging.”
“Aren’t you gonna unpack?” Will gestured toward Charlie’s suitcase, which sat by the seat, taking up valuable space. “’Cause you’re not leaving it there.”
Will glanced around, frowning, and noted a small tote bag storage shelf above the seat he’d occupied. Charlie saw his reaction and understood, because he’d observed the same shelf earlier. It was easy to tell that Will was pleased there was additional space for their belongings.
Charlie merely rolled his eyes and inelegantly kicked the bag toward Will till it tilted precariously and finally fell on the floor. “Why bother? Knock yourself out.”
Will harrumphed. “Whatever happened to the neat freak I know and love?”
Charlie shrugged, fiddling with his iPhone. “He’s feeling kinda lazy. He’s on vacation, after all. Besides, it’s not like I live here.”
Will narrowed his eyes. “In a second you’ll either be wearing that bag on your head or I’ll throw it out the window. Your choice.”
Charlie grumbled under his breath as he struggled to stand. “You’re such a sourpuss.”
Side by side in the cramped space, they unpacked a few of their clothes, the ones they’d use while on the train, and placed them on the garment rack. The closet was too small to be practical for their bags, so they stacked them on top of the cabinet and shoved the rest of their stuff onto the smaller storage shelf. The bags wouldn’t be terribly secure, but it had to be better than the baggage compartment.
When they returned to their seats, Will asked, “What kind of amenities are included with this room? Mints on pillows? Egyptian cotton sheets? Pay-per-view porn?”
Charlie laughed. “None of the above. But there’s a personal attendant assigned to us.”
“Oh, really? Wow.” Will’s eyes widened and shone with enthusiasm. “So we could, like, order room service?”
“They’ll bring us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Tonight dinner only ’cause we’re leaving so late. But they’ll turn down the beds or get us drinks and snacks and papers if we ask for them. Stuff like that.”
“Cool.” Will reclined in his easy chair and smiled enigmatically. “This trip is looking up.”
Charlie sure hoped so. He hadn’t been lying to Ashley about the need for him and Will to figure out if their friendship was salvageable. And for that goal they needed privacy. Nothing said discreet and private better than a locked door.
Chapter 5
“WHEW. GLAD that’s over.”
Charlie leaned against the wall outside his and Will’s room. He’d just visited the others on the lower level and made peace with them as best he could. They’d understood his need to be alone with Will. But their reticence and changed attitude toward him hurt.
Still, after everything that had happened, Charlie deserved their cold shoulder. There’d be no leisurely, fun-filled poker nights with the guys anytime soon. At least not until Will somehow made a public display of forgiving Charlie for his transgression.
Charlie had also chickened out on talking with Ashley.
As much as he cared for her, he couldn’t shake the thought that she deserved better. No girl should have to endure a man who could behave so violently against a friend.
Then again, Charlie and Ashley hadn’t been particularly lovey-dovey with each other lately. Whatever fiery passion they’d once shared seemed to require rekindling—or stomping out into ashes. The two of them needed to have a serious talk.
But… Charlie had wimped out at the last second. He couldn’t hurt her like that on a vacation they’d been waiting for all year. The things they’d had to do to get money for the trip…. No, he was not about to ruin things now.
“Will? Did they bring dinner yet?” Charlie asked as he stepped over the threshold. He got his answer instantly as delicious scents of fresh sal
ad, hot rolls, Amtrak signature flatiron steaks, and baked potatoes assailed his senses in the best way imaginable.
“I checked, and you know what? They don’t actually do room service,” Will hollered from the bathroom enclosure. “But since the dining car has so many people eating there anyway, I did a little persuading, money exchanged hands, and I managed to snag us two trays. So I brought dinner here. Remember to tip them for this favor. Again.”
“They don’t do room service on trains anymore?” Charlie was flummoxed. He’d assumed the room came with that amenity. Apparently not.
Will laughed from behind the wall. “This isn’t the Orient Express, man. I guess they don’t do fine dining or room service or piano bars anymore. Unfortunately that kind of luxury shit is in the past. A shame really.”
Charlie admittedly felt disappointed to hear that. He planted his butt on the seat and lifted the metal top. A cloud of steam filled with flavors floated up to his nose, and he inhaled deeply, his stomach rumbling on cue.
The grilled steak was well-marbled, the baked potatoes had ample dollops of sour cream, the mushroom sauce held an earthy tang, and bottled water and diet soda completed the arrangement. Charlie hadn’t even realized how hungry he was until the food was staring him in the face.
“Hey, dude, you coming or what? This is hot now.” Charlie dug in with gusto, although Will still hadn’t emerged from the bathroom enclosure. He didn’t smell poop or hear water running. What was the guy doing over there? “Hey, you done primping? Food’s gonna get cold.” It was sometimes necessary to reduce one’s comments to hyperbole or repetition or both.
Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Will stepped out of the bathing niche.
And not only did he wear smoky guyliner and red lipstick, he also wore black high heels.
CHARLIE STARED. Beyond those feminine touches, Will wore black pants, a white dress shirt, and a red silk tie. The things he usually wore when he had to attend formal functions like school dances. A sleeper train hardly qualified.
Charlie damn near choked on his food and barely swallowed his mouthful down. He was sweating bullets, chills creeping up his spine, a nervousness attacking his mind with the force of a bull in a china shop. Charlie’s heart beat so fast that while he saw Will’s lips moving, he couldn’t hear a word.
It was only when Will waved his hand in front of Charlie’s face that he snapped out of it.
A pain he couldn’t explain or account for wrenched Charlie’s heart and twisted his face. “Is… is this what you want to be now? Is this… who you are after all?” His voice cracked, and he had to look away or throw up. And he hated himself for feeling this way.
Especially when his dick stiffened, ferocious as a dog salivating after a bone.
“No,” Will replied.
Charlie’s head whipped up. He saw Will shaking his head and felt a profound confusion. “Then… why?”
Will locked gazes with him, his eyes mesmerizing and steadfast. “To see your reaction.”
Charlie barked out a vicious laugh. “What, you testing me or something?”
“Verifying a hypothesis, I suppose.”
Sighing, Will parked his butt on the single seat. He grimaced and swung his legs up on the table beside the trays. Charlie gulped. The high heels and tight black pants made Will’s legs look so long. Was he a runway model in secret? Charlie itched to caress and— What? No, he didn’t!
Did he?
Will rubbed his shins. “Fuck, how women wear these stupid things every damn day is nothing short of miraculous. God, my fucking feet hurt, and they’ve only been on my feet for, like, ten minutes. Maybe it’s harder ’cause the train’s moving and I’m forced to keep readjusting my balance….”
Charlie frowned, shifting his gaze from Will’s legs to his face. “Then why— You know what? Never mind. Clearly you have questions or doubts, which is understandable. I just wish you’d actually asked me instead of… of….”
“Dressing up like a girl?” Will finished for him, quirking an eyebrow.
“No!” Charlie snapped vehemently. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. “No. After all, you’re not… all woman, are you?” The tight clothes revealed that Will wore no stuffed bra or padded hip accessories or whatever else might be available for trans women or female impersonators.
“I figured a few select touches would be enough to see if you’d react the same as before.” Will’s determined gaze never left Charlie’s. “I really wanted to see… something different.”
Charlie rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his arms. “I’m sorry.”
Will touched his head, softly ruffling his hair. “Charlie? You need to resolve this or you’re gonna end up in real trouble. Not just friend stuff but, like, mental issues.”
Charlie longed for the earth to swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to face this or think about it. Because deep down, he’d already considered one important fact: this was less about Will and more about Charlie himself.
Slowly he looked up, leaning his jaw on his crossed arms on the table. “You know, I never really put two and two together until now.”
“Huh?”
“Before you dressed like that… I swear I didn’t realize how… femme you look.”
Will drew in a sharp breath and leaned back. “You… you think I look like a girl?”
Charlie gave him the stink eye. “You mean right now?”
Will growled. “In general, jackass. Usually.”
Charlie shrugged. “Like I said, I never used to think so. But now….” He waved a hand at Will indistinctly, as if Will’s appearance magically contained all the answers, explanations, and solutions to Charlie’s dilemma.
Will licked his lips, appearing contemplative. After an awkward silence, he drawled, “And that upsets you?”
Charlie straightened up in a rush. “Why doesn’t it upset you?”
“What exactly?” Will asked for clarification.
Charlie didn’t catch the trap until he’d already declared, “Getting a boner because of you dressing up like a smoking-hot chick unnerves the shit out of me. So why doesn’t it weird you out?” When he saw Will’s face as serene as ever, unchanged, Charlie understood. “You played me, you piece of—”
“I’m only trying to help,” Will interrupted, his expression betraying how vulnerable he had to feel despite his cool demeanor. He’d always been kind and relatable. Charlie figured the guy would make for an excellent counselor.
Charlie regretted being mean to his best friend. Will wouldn’t lie about that. “I know. I’m sorry. Again. For the fucking umpteenth time in a row.”
Will placed his hand over Charlie’s arm. “I’m not mad. I’m full of questions, though, and I suspect so are you.”
Charlie rested his forehead on his forearms, hiding his face. “It really doesn’t bother you that I get turned on seeing you like that?”
“No. For one, you’re my best friend and I’m sure we can work things out. And two, I doubt you have this reaction with me alone. Those situations just haven’t come up yet.”
Charlie straightened up in an instant and stared at his best friend in shock and horror. “You think I’d behave this way with… with other guys also dressed as chicks?”
When Will didn’t answer, merely gave Charlie a pointed look, Charlie figured out that he hadn’t connected the dots yet, but clearly Will had. He was in deep dog doo now.
Chapter 6
“SO YOU believe that at heart I’m a… a homophobic dick.” Charlie didn’t ask, he stated.
Will slapped him hard on the arm. “I’ve known you since elementary school. I’d know if you were an asshole and a bigot.”
“After what I did to you… how can you be sure I’m not?”
“Because I think that was a primal reaction. Hate is something learned and taught.”
“I’m not sure I get the difference.”
Will hesitated, frowning, and Charlie dreaded the wor
st. Then Will smiled softly. “I think you might be, you know, into that sort of thing. But your mind refused to accept it because it happened without warning, so you lashed out in a primitive, violent way.”
Charlie’s back went ramrod straight. Anger bubbled inside him. “I’m not fucking gay,” he spat out vehemently. When Will widened his eyes, appearing scared, Charlie’s rage evaporated. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being gay, okay?”
“Okaaayyy…,” Will said slowly, his disbelief evident.
“I don’t care if people are gay, honest. Heck, the world could use more love, not less.” Charlie felt stupid and frustrated and antsy, and he fidgeted in place. “I’m just saying that I’m not gay.”
Will cocked his head, looking pensive, and scratched his clean-shaven jaw. “Hmm, maybe you’re, like, bisexual or bicurious, or something.”
Charlie shook his head. “We’re eighteen, dude. Don’t you think if I were gay I would have noticed being into guys by now? Don’t you think I would’ve had affairs with guys or a relationship at least once or twice over the years?”
Will shrugged. “Maybe you’re a late bloomer. It happens. Sometimes instincts and inner truths need a trigger to activate.”
“Like what? Seeing you dolled up?” Charlie narrowed his eyes, defensive and embittered. “Did you consider the possibility that you are the cause?”
Surprisingly, Will chuckled. “Yeah, actually I did. Maybe you’re demi or pan.”
“What the fuck is that?”
Will smirked. He’d always been the one more learned. His brain seemed to store info and data at an alarming rate. He knew stuff at the drop of a hat. Charlie envied him because his own brain seemed to have more of a high turnover rate.
“Pansexual means you’re attracted to a person, not their gender.”
Charlie paused to consider this. “You mean, I think you’re hot ’cause to me it doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl?” He harrumphed and shook his head. “That doesn’t sound right.”
