Messenger (Mary Hades)

by Sarah Dalton

  “Willa! Come out, Sister. I told you, I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice was so close that I opened my eyes and peeked out from behind the rock. My heart flipped. His torchlight was only a few feet away from my hiding place.

  I pushed myself back. As I did, my hand touched something soft and squidgy. It had a different texture from mud, but I hoped that was all it was.

  “Forget what happened,” Bram said. “It was all just to help you. But it’s over now. We know you’ve been cleansed. Father Merciful has forgiven you for giving in to Satan. But you can’t hide forever. You have to face us if we’re going to move on as a family.”

  When he said the word ‘family’, tears began to roll down my cheeks. There was no family anymore. It was broken. Really, it always had been. I’d just been too young and naïve to see it.

  The torchlight inched closer. “Willa!” His tone changed to one of frustration. The honey coating was replaced with anger. “Get out here. Stop being a fucking fool.”

  The torchlight swung over to my rock before swinging away. He was so close that I could hear his footsteps moving through the long grass. I smelled a hint of his sweat moving towards me on the breeze, a tang of sour cutting through an already rancid concoction. My stomach heaved. His breathing was loud and laboured. The climb up to Nooman’s Point had tired him.

  The torchlight swung back again, and I held my breath. I followed it with my gaze, watching the way it lit up the space next to me. It travelled over the rocks as I huddled into myself, remaining as small as I could be. But it showed me what I was hiding next to.

  It was a red anorak. And beneath the anorak was a lump. With complete horror I realised what had been soft and squidgy beneath my hands as I’d moved myself farther behind the rock. Now I knew what the smell was.

  Chapter Twelve

  I couldn’t stop the scream. It burst from me like the blood from my broken nose. And when it was over, Bram’s running footsteps came even closer. The realisation of what I’d done made me almost dizzy with fear, but I didn’t dwell on it. I ran out from behind the rocks. Bram’s torchlight shone straight into my eyes, blinding me. I ducked to the right and tried to run, but Bram was faster. He gripped me around the waist and dragged me back.

  This time I didn’t care that he was bigger than me. I fought him. I used my fingernails and my teeth. I clawed at his fingers until I felt a wound open up. Bram cried out and released his grip, and I managed to escape. In an utter panic, all I could think about was getting away from Alfie’s body, and getting away from Bram. I didn’t think about Nooman’s Point looming behind me. I ran away from them both, but when Bram grabbed me around the middle and swung me back, I ran straight onto Nooman’s Point without even thinking about it.

  The stone was slippery beneath my feet. I tripped, and then scrambled to keep my footing. Bram approached, shining his torch on the stone. His face was a skull in the darkness, a gurning, disgusting skull.

  “Nowhere to run now, Willa,” he taunted. “Now you’ll have to come back with me.”

  “You’re not taking me anywhere,” I said. “You’re going to kill me here. Stop lying, Bram.”

  He took another step forward. “You’re right. Why should I hide who I am anymore? I am going to kill you. I’m going to kill you because you’re an evil little temptress who deserves it.”

  “And what about Alfie?” I said. “What did he ever do to you?”

  Bram’s expression hardened. “It’s not my fault if the little shit couldn’t take orders. I only wanted him to be my friend, but he never seemed able to manage it.”

  I shivered, thinking of poor Alfie murdered by someone he trusted. Now the same thing was going to happen to me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  Bram finally made his move. He ran towards me, but I ducked away from him, slipping through his arms as he tried to grab me. I managed to get on the other side of him, putting him next to the drop instead of me. Bram let out a sound like a growling wolf, which chilled my skin. I turned away from him, ready to run as fast as I could, but he pounced on me. I fell onto the hard stone and my skin smacked against it. The air was forced from my body as Bram’s weight pinned me down. I struggled forward, kicking out at Bram in any and every direction that I could. The panic made me frantic and uncoordinated. I needed to calm down and place a strong blow where it would hurt him the most, but I couldn’t think clearly.

  Then I saw the red anorak in the distance and a sense of dread washed over me. Bram pinned me down with his weight, pressing me so hard that the air was forced from my lungs. He clamped his hands around my neck and started to squeeze.

  The red anorak came closer. Alfie took down his hood, and he stared at us with fierce fury lighting up his blue eyes in the darkness. Next to him stood the little boy from my nightmare. My hands stretched towards them both. My fingernails scratched against the cold, slimy rock. Bram squeezed at my throat. Black dots began to dance before my eyes, but I focussed on Alfie. I stared at him.

  “Brother Bram,” Alfie said.

  Bram’s body stiffened on top of me. A moment later he let go of my throat. I tried to scramble away from him, but his weight still pinned me down.

  “You’re the bad man who hurt me,” said the boy from my nightmare. “Why did you do that?”

  “You wouldn’t be my friend,” Bram said. “None of you would be my friend.” There was a catch in his throat, as though he was about to cry.

  Alfie’s gaze met mine, and then dropped to something not far from me. It was a large rock. I glanced up and nodded at him once, then I stretched out my arm, reaching for the rock. My fingers grazed the side, but I couldn’t find purchase.

  Bram’s hands snaked around my throat as I reached for the rock. He was mumbling something about being friends as he pressed down on my neck. Panic seized me, and I knew this was it. Life or death. I kicked my foot back, hitting Bram hard on the knee. His fingers loosened for an instant, allowing me just enough time to grab the rock. Then he took hold of my arms and shook them until the rock fell from my hand.

  Alfie dashed forward and hissed at Bram, baring his teeth like a cornered cat. Bram’s weight finally shifted from on top of me, allowing me to scramble out from under him. I grabbed the rock and ran past the boy from my nightmares. My mind was jumbled up, and I was a wild mess of terror, but I knew I had to get away from Bram. I knew I had to do something. But what? Where could I hide?

  “I’m coming to get you!” Bram roared into the night. I heard a thudding noise that sounded like Bram was beating his chest. “I’m going to rip you open with my bare hands.”

  I tried not to sob as I ran, but the tears kept coming. I was in shock, my body was badly beaten, and I was amidst the worst panic I’d ever felt. I was close to giving up, but there was a strong survival instinct pushing me forward.

  The night was dark. Just like in my nightmares, I lost all sense of which way was towards the farmhouse, and which way was towards Nooman’s Point. I know now that this was exactly how Alfie had died. My funny and curious little brother had been killed by this psychopath. He had run away from Bram, just like I was now. And the worst part is that I suspected that Father Merciful had known about Alfie’s death right from the beginning. I think he knew about the other boy, too. That’s why we moved, so that Bram wasn’t found out. The boy was an outsider, a child to parents who would not be as easy to control as Aunty Cassie. But they didn’t move the body; they didn’t even bury him. They had no respect for us, or for Alfie.

  “Oh, Willa,” Bram called out. His voice was closer. I had to find somewhere to hide. “Come out and face me, Sister.”

  There was no way I was going to do that.

  The red anorak appeared in front of me again. Alfie pointed down to the ground a few feet from me. My heart soared when I saw Bram’s torch nestled in the moor grass. I hurried towards it and snatched it from the ground, then rushed back into the darkest shadows. When I moved, I saw Bram’s shape twist around looking for me. I h
ad an opportunity now. I couldn’t mess it up.

  I flashed the torchlight once, away from Bram. Then, as Bram was running towards the spot I’d illuminated with the torch, I ran in the opposite direction and flashed the torch again. I saw Bram turn around and come running back, but now, after getting my bearings from the flashes of light, I turned back and ran towards Nooman’s Point, where I flashed the torch once more. But this time, I squeezed in behind the rock where Alfie had been dumped, being careful not to touch his remains. It made my stomach flip to be near his body, but after he had helped me so much, I knew he wouldn’t mind, and now I wanted to live so badly that I was prepared to do whatever it took.

  Bram stood in the middle of Nooman’s Point, on that flat stone surface, twisting around, trying to find me. I waited until his back was turned, and then I ran softly towards him. Alfie helped by appearing before him. Both ghosts appeared. They joined hands and opened their mouths. Out came the clumps of soil. I thought of my nightmares on Nooman’s Point, and of how I had fallen down the hill, my body breaking on the lumps and stones. I thought of standing in the bathroom coughing up dirt. That was how Alfie had died. He had been beaten and thrown down this hill.

  I raised my arm as high as it would go, and I brought the rock down onto Brother Bram.

  I was too short to get a clean hit on his skull, but I hit him hard on the place where his neck met his back. I hit him hard enough for him to fall to his knees. Then, with Alfie and the other boy standing smiling above me, I hit him again on the skull. Bram slumped forward and turned over so that I could see his face.

  “I’ll come for you,” he whispered.

  I raised the rock and smashed it down one more time. He didn’t say anything more.

  I dropped the rock, and it bounced across the stone. Alfie came to my side and a cold little hand slipped into mine. The other ghost was soon by my other side.

  “Thank you, Sister Willa,” Alfie said. “Thank you for looking after us.”

  “I told you to always come to me,” I said.

  “And I did,” he replied. “But I was too late.”

  I let out a sob that made my whole body feel tired and weary. I had fought for my life and won, but I’d also taken a life, and had found the body of my little friend.

  “Will you look after us forever?” asked the little boy from my dreams. His face was torn and raw, but still vulnerable as he looked up to me.

  I didn’t answer at first. My jumbled mind couldn’t understand what he meant. Instead, he pulled me forward. His skin was cold, so cold that it barely felt like skin; it felt more like hard energy, with an electric current running through it. I took a few steps forward, with Alfie pulling me too. Before I knew it, I was standing on the edge of Nooman’s Point, looking down at the cavernous drop. It was barely visible in the dark night, but I knew it was there. I sensed it. I felt the call of the void.

  “Look after us, Willa,” said the boy. Alfie was silent.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I looked down at my feet, so close to the edge. One more step, and all the pain would go away. It wouldn’t matter that Father Merciful had turned out to be a phony, or that Bram was a sociopathic murderer, or that Jack had been beaten and was somewhere out there in harm’s way. If I stepped off the ledge, it would all go away.

  In that moment I was tempted, more tempted than I have ever been since. It’s funny that I believed Father Merciful when he told me that Satan had been tempting me from the path of righteousness. The truth is, I hadn’t ever known temptation until that moment. I’d never felt such a magnetic pull before as I did when staring into the abyss at Nooman’s Point. Maybe it was Satan, maybe it was some old magic left over from an ancient time, or maybe it was because I was tired and young and beaten down.

  “No,” Alfie said. “She can’t look after us.”

  “Why not?” the boy asked.

  “Because she has to live,” Alfie said. “She has to live.”

  He pulled me back from the edge. I let him pull me back. I hadn’t fought so hard to live only to give it away to the void. Then I freed myself of both ghosts and moved farther away from Nooman’s Point. Every part of me trembled.

  I backed away, watching Alfie as he waved goodbye. And then I tripped and fell, and everything went black.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I woke to the sensation of floating. But when I opened my eyes, I wasn’t levitating from the floor, I was being lifted onto a stretcher. Katherine Maynard saw me wake first. She hurried forward and took hold of my hand.

  “If I’d known something like this was going to happen, I would have acted sooner,” she said in a hurried, rambling voice. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  I didn’t know what she was talking about. The paramedics tucked a warm blanket around me. Up ahead, someone was putting Bram into a black bag. So I had killed him. I hadn’t dreamt it after all.

  The paramedics lifted me down the hill and into a nearby ambulance. There were two ambulances there, something I’ll always be grateful for, so I didn’t have to ride to the hospital with Bram’s body alongside me.

  Jack was waiting for me in the ambulance. He had his arm in a sling, and a bandage over his head. There were deep bruises on his face. When the stretcher went into the ambulance, he rushed to me and took my hand.

  “I’m so glad you’re all right,” he said. “I thought…”

  “I’m okay,” I croaked.

  “I tried to stop them. I ran after you, but I couldn’t find you. They broke my arm, and I couldn’t run. I’m sorry.” His chin dropped. I could feel the shame emanating from him.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You saved my life,” I said.

  “Katherine found me,” he said. “She went looking for you. And she called the police.”

  “The police?” I said in surprise. “But I thought we weren’t allowed.”

  “I don’t think those rules apply anymore,” Jack said. “What happened to Bram?”

  If I hadn’t been so dehydrated, I probably would’ve cried again. In the end, I’m glad I didn’t shed a tear over him. “I had no choice.”

  Jack nodded. “If you hadn’t, I would have.”

  I was glad he would never have to. The paramedics started to tend to some of my external injuries, and then the ambulance left the field.

  *

  I spent a week in hospital. I had broken ribs, a broken nose, countless cuts and bruises, and a huge emotional hole that couldn’t be filled. The bright lights were comforting, but the dreams weren’t.

  Mother Ariel came to visit me. She brought me my favourite stuffed bear and some fruit. She was pulled away by Aunty Susan, her cheeks tracked with tears. They both seemed on edge, as though they were waiting for someone. They only stayed a few minutes.

  On the third day, Katherine told me everything.

  She wasn’t a new addition to our family; she was a scientist. She was someone who researched communes just like ours. She called us a cult, and I opened my mouth to argue otherwise, but I realised that she was right. When I gave her that leaflet in the town, she decided to join our group undercover so that she could research our behaviour. But she didn’t know at that point that Bram was a killer. She figured out the drug use, but didn’t see any evidence of children in danger until she found Jack. Then she went straight to the police.

  “I wish you’d told me about Alfie,” she said. “I could’ve helped you. I could’ve stopped Bram from hurting you. Don’t ever be afraid to tell someone your fears. I wish you’d been in a different environment.” She sighed heavily. “I wish you hadn’t experienced that.” She took hold of my hand. “But you don’t need to worry about any of that anymore. Father Merciful has been arrested. Bram is gone forever. You’re safe now.”

  “What about Alfie?” I asked.

  “The police have taken Alfie’s body from the moors. He’ll have a proper funeral soon. Cassie is in hospital, too. They’re helping her get over the addiction. Everythin
g’s going to be okay.”

  “What about Mother Ariel?” I asked.

  Katherine frowned. “I’m sorry, Willa. I didn’t want to have to tell you this until you were out of hospital.”

  “Tell me what?” I asked.

  “Well, after the police arrested Father Merciful, whose real name is Michael Taylor, by the way, the police went back to talk to the rest of the commune about Alfie’s death and your assault. But they found the farmhouse empty.”

  “Empty?” I repeated.

  She nodded. “They’d all left, Willa.”

  “What about Jack?” I asked.

  “He’s fine. He’s still in hospital with you. He wanted to come and see you, but I asked him to wait. I wanted to talk to you first. I wanted to tell you what had happened and that you’re safe.”

  “But that means Mother Ariel is gone,” I said. “And Aunty Blu, and everyone else?”

  Katherine nodded. “I’m sorry. I know this is a huge shock.”

  My entire family had abandoned me. My mother had gone.

  I picked up the bear from my bedside table and stared at it with an open mouth. I was alone in the world.

  “I’m going to make sure that you’re okay.” Katherine had tears in her eyes. “You’re very important to me. You and Jack are both very important to me. I think you’re very special children, and you deserve the best from life. I’m going to make sure that you’re okay, do you hear? I’m going to make sure of it.”

  She kissed me on the forehead, and despite everything, I believed her.

  *