The Nurse and the Single Dad

by Dianne Drake

  “At will?”

  “OK. Maybe not at will so much as what the caseload dictates.” He chuckled. “And it dictates pretty loudly sometimes. So, do you get over to the hospital very often?”

  “Not really. Even though I work for the hospital, I’m based out of an office across the street, and I only go over there maybe twice a week. And then it’s in and out as quickly as I can. Hospitals aren’t my strong suit.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, you like the big, open spaces of them, while I prefer to practice my nursing in a more intimate setting.”

  “Which is why you’re in home care.”

  “I love home care. Home is where my patients are the happiest.”

  “But hospice nursing? That’s tough.”

  “And rewarding. I started doing it when I was working on my graduate degree because the hours worked with my school schedule, discovered I loved it, and I’ve never found a reason to change to any other kind of nursing specialty.”

  “Like I say, tough work. Losing a patient is never easy but to lose every single one of them?”

  She shrugged. “What can I say? I like giving support and care at the end. It’s important work and most people aren’t cut out to do it. I happen to be one of those who is.”

  “So, we’re both happy where we are.”

  “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

  He nodded. “We ought to do coffee again sometime. It was...nice.”

  “I would, but I don’t wander into this neighborhood at this time of day unless the circumstances call for it. Mrs. Barrow, the lady I’ll be seeing this morning, is an everyday after-lunch call, but I had to move her up today due to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. And this little coffee shop was right on the way to her house. Except for today, I usually stop here around noon or one.”

  “So we miss each other by roughly six hours on a normal day.”

  “Apparently we do.”

  “Well, maybe I’ll pop in at noon sometime.”

  “And maybe I’ll be here.”

  Daniel stepped away from the table. “I’ve really got to be going now, so thanks for the company. It was nice bumping into you again.”

  “Thank you.”

  They parted company and Daniel didn’t look back at the beauty who remained sitting at the table sipping her espresso. At least, not until he was outside. Then he looked back in through the plate-glass window and watched her for a moment. In all the weeks she’d come to his house to care for Elizabeth, he couldn’t remember ever having had a real conversation with her about anything other than Elizabeth.

  Turned out Zoey Evans was nice to chat with. And so easy. He was surprised by the ease he’d felt in talking to her. In fact, he wouldn’t mind bumping into her again. It would have to be another coincidence, though, as he wasn’t at a place in his life where he could go out of the way to expand his relationship horizons. Right now, everything was too complicated. But the prospect of seeing Zoey again, well, that almost excited him. It made him feel guilty, too, because it felt like his excitement to see Zoey was betraying Elizabeth. And he didn’t want to feel that way when he was trying hard to push himself forward in his life.

  * * *

  Daniel Caldwell. It had been a year since she’d last seen him and what a difference that year had made. He’d been so gaunt back then, taking care of his wife and child, as well as maintaining his position at the hospital. Burning his candle at more ends than a candle had to burn. The stress of that time had certainly taken its toll on Daniel and, if it hadn’t shown in the thinness of his face, it did show in the haunting, distant look she always saw in his eyes. It was a difficult time for him and she understood the toll it had taken. She’d seen it before in the families of other patients.

  Yet, Daniel was different than most. He internalized his tragedy more than many people did. At least, the ones she’d come into contact with. And he’d always made sure that everyone around him was taken care of first, before his own needs were met. Even her. Zoey recalled how he’d always put on a fresh pot of coffee for her, something that had been totally unnecessary, but welcomed. She’d told him she could make her own coffee, but he wouldn’t hear of that, insisting that every little effort helped the cause, which in Daniel’s case had been his wife.

  He’d been right about that, as the more Elizabeth had progressed into her illness the more help she’d needed, which meant the less time Zoey had had to attend to the little things. Back then, she’d truly appreciated the kindness in a simple cup of coffee.

  More than that, she’d appreciated Daniel’s devotion to Elizabeth. A lot of people turned away in the last moments, trying to avoid the inevitable. Oh, they might be there in the flesh, but the rest of them would tune out. Not Daniel, though. He’d stayed right in there until the end, doing whatever he could do to help his wife, and also to help her.

  Zoey admired that, wishing that she could have seen what appeared to her as the ideal marriage at a different point in time. It was hard for her to imagine someone being that happy in a relationship. She’d never been, and somewhere along the line she’d quit holding out the hope that it could ever happen for her. Her own failure at marriage had really knocked her off her game. Caused her to lack confidence in herself when it came to maintaining other relationships. Truth was, she wasn’t sure she could do that again. At least, not with the same enthusiasm she’d had for her first marriage, tragedy that it was.

  Zoey didn’t exclude herself from the possibility of having something more in her future, though. Not entirely. She did have a little hope left, a dying ember. But she wondered if she could approach it with the passion she knew would be needed, as the passion had been dead in her for such a long time now. Brad had seen to that.

  Maybe someday she’d settle down and try it again, since life alone wasn’t that great. But not until she found all the pieces of herself that were still missing—the pieces Brad had stolen from her when their marriage had broken up. The basic hope that he’d robbed her of. The disillusionment he’d left in its place. He’d chipped away and chipped away until so much was gone. And she’d let it happen because she’d thought that was part of being in true love, naive as that might have seemed.

  Yet, true love had failed her. And quickly. She’d recognized Brad for who he really was early on, and the rest of their few months together had turned into a futile effort of honing her coping skills, trying to figure out where she’d gone so wrong, falling for someone like him. How could she have been so stupid?

  Admittedly, he’d hurt her. Not in her heart so much as in her confidence in herself to make wise relationship choices. He’d caused her to lose her bearings in all the things she’d always believed, always wanted. Even now, while she was sure of herself on the outside, everything inside her still quivered with doubts. The result of that was a lack of trust in herself to venture out again. She hadn’t dated, hadn’t wanted to. Hadn’t even thought much about it. Turning her back on the whole muddy affair was easier and, until she was sure she wouldn’t mess up again, she was perfectly happy right where she was.

  Sighing, Zoey thought about what her future might hold. A real relationship? One that she trusted? Suddenly, Daniel flashed into her mind and she fantasized about how it would be nice to come home to someone like him. Someone who nurtured. Someone who was passionate about his love. It was such an illusion, though. Daniel was one in a million. She’d heard the affectionate way he’d spoken to his wife, seen the way he’d taken care of her. How he’d sat at her bedside for hours on end, simply holding her hand while she slept. How tenderly he’d kissed her when her pain had been so excruciating she’d been nearly out of her head. How lovingly he’d embraced her in her final moments.

  Yes, she’d been granted such an inspiring look into an intimacy she’d never before seen the likes of, and that was when she knew th
at there weren’t many men like Daniel out there. Elizabeth had been a very lucky woman to have him and, in a way, Zoey envied her for that because a man like Daniel was all she’d ever wanted for herself.

  Would she ever find that man? Find someone who cared so deeply and passionately that nothing else in the world seemed to matter? Find someone to love her the way Daniel had loved Elizabeth?

  Daniel... Zoey’s mind wandered back to him once again as she drove to her first appointment. He looked good with those few extra pounds he’d put on. And his eyes weren’t so haunted now. It meant he was moving on, and that was commendable, considering what he’d gone through. Some people got stuck at the mourning stage and couldn’t get out. But he had his daughter to care for, and he also had his work at the hospital. Those were good for him. They gave him a great focus.

  It had been nice bumping into Daniel today. As a rule she never kept up with the families of her patients once her term of service had ended. Some of them wanted to cling to her as a means of avoidance, but she’d found that a clean break was better for everyone concerned. So chance meetings like the one she’d had with Daniel were rare, and ever rarer was sitting down and talking to them. In fact, Daniel was her first, and she didn’t know what had compelled her to sit down with him.

  Maybe because, in theory, he was a colleague? They were, after all, employed by the same hospital even though they were totally isolated from one another. In the past year, when she’d had occasion to go the hospital, she’d glanced around, wondering if she’d see him. Their paths had never crossed, however, and it had never occurred to her to look him up. Because she always kept it professional, as there had to be divisions between personal and professional.

  Not that she had a personal life going on right now. Go home, study case notes, feed Fluffy, her Persian diva cat, make a few phone calls, eat a late supper, do some reading and drift off to sleep. Repeat the next day. Then there were the weekends—errands galore. Grocery shopping, laundry, at least a half-day in the office putting charts onto the computer while no one was around to bother her. Plus all the other stuff she did on a daily basis. Oh, and wall-climbing on most Saturdays. She did enjoy that!

  Occasionally, if she was bored, she’d treat herself to a movie with all the trimmings—diet soda and buttered popcorn. In the dark, no one cared that she was there all by herself, and it was nice to bask in that anonymity for a couple of hours. No expectations, no worries.

  But every Sunday morning she made that obligatory call to her mother.

  “How are you doing, dear?” her mother would say.

  “I’m fine, Mom.”

  “Anything happening in your life yet?”

  “Same ol’, same ol’.”

  “No new boyfriend, no dating?”

  “Just keeping to myself, Mom. And working.”

  “So when are you going to find yourself a nice man, settle down and give me some grandbabies?”

  “Not in the near future, as far as I can tell. I don’t meet eligible men in my line of work.”

  “So go work at the hospital where you can snatch up some handsome young doctor.”

  “I don’t want to work in the hospital and I don’t need a handsome young doctor in my life.”

  “You never change, Zoey,” her mother would always accuse her. “You never change.”

  Same conversation every Sunday morning, and that was what never changed. But that phone call to dear old Mumsy was a habit she couldn’t bring herself to break. So she endured it along with the rest of her obligatory chores. Then twice a year, she trekked home to Omaha for a week, to have that conversation in person. She’d gotten used to enduring the recurring topic in exchange for the week of pampering her mother lavished on her. That part was nice—being taken care of rather than being the caregiver.

  As Zoey pulled her little red car into her patient’s driveway, she looked up at the white frame house sitting atop a slight knoll and sighed. It would have been nice spending a little while longer with Daniel this morning. But duty called. For both of them. And her duty right now was to make sure Mrs. Barrow was up to a trip to her doctor this afternoon. Bathed, hair washed, dressed, vital signs stable, medicines administered... It was a privilege tending to someone who needed so much help, but Mrs. Barrow was one of the rare ones who was spunky in her end stages. Zoey liked that. Liked the feisty attitude as it made her feel a little feisty herself.

  She sighed again as she headed to the front door, medical bag in hand. Something about Daniel had caused a restlessness in her. She didn’t know why and wasn’t keen to explore the reasons, but she wanted a date. Yes, a date. One night only. Wine and dine. No strings. It would break up her routine and prove to her that there was still a little human need left in her after all.

  But with Daniel? She wasn’t sure about that. He was a reminder, though, that something was missing.

  CHAPTER TWO

  THE INSTRUCTIONS ON his invitation were perfectly clear. He was to be seated at table seventeen, the table all the way to the far right of the immense banquet hall, halfway from the front and halfway from the back. Two years ago, when he’d attended the hospital fundraiser with Elizabeth, they’d been seated near the front, directly in the center of everything, at a table with three other couples and a clear view of the podium. From prominent to insignificant, he thought, as he started looking for his table.

  Daniel was never particularly keen to go to these kinds of affairs, especially ones that required a tuxedo. But Elizabeth had loved getting all dressed up and attending, so he’d been dragged along compliantly for her sake. He thought back to the lovely floor-length strapless blue satin gown she’d worn at their last hospital banquet together. It was stunning on her. His wife had been a head-turner, a real looker, with her long, flowing, sunny blond hair and inviting smile. Someone everyone had noticed, and envied. And he’d been the envy of every man there, having a woman like Elizabeth on his arm.

  “Go on without me, Daniel. Continue to do the things we loved to do together.”

  Because she’d loved that night so much, and it had shone on her face, he’d been happy to be there with her. Proud, in fact. Then last year he hadn’t attended as a single. It had been too difficult. Too many memories. And so much had happened in that year that the annual fundraiser had been the farthest thing from his mind when it rolled around again this year. Now, here he was, asked by his department head to be here.

  “You’re not getting out enough,” Walter Downing had said. “I’m worried because, ever since Elizabeth, you seem to be retreating from the world. You need to shake up your life and get it going again.”

  Well, things in his life were shaking up, were gradually falling back into normal place. He supposed he should look at coming to this fundraiser as part of that.

  Daniel did have to admit that this event was always a nice affair. The food was good, the entertainment was above par and the speeches urging those in attendance to do their part toward the benefit of the hospital were neither grueling nor long-winded, thank God! Tonight, though, he had an idea that he was to be seated at one of the notorious singles tables as he had not marked off the “plus one” option on his RSVP. Daniel Caldwell, alone. Damn, he didn’t like the feel of that.

  Sighing, Daniel made his way through the crowd and past the bar, where there were long lines of people waiting to be served. He bypassed the alcohol altogether, not that he would have minded a good, stiff drink to get him through the evening, and went off in search of his seat. The number 17 was clearly marked on a placard in the center of the table, right next to the centerpiece of pink and white carnations mingling with red teacup-rosebuds and snuggled into sprigs of greenery and baby’s breath. Two of the chairs at the table for eight were tilted up, indicating that two people had already laid claim to their spots, then wandered off. Probably to the bar, he guessed. Interestingly enough, the
two reserved spots were not next to each other, so the people who’d tipped up those chairs had purposely chosen spots on opposite sides of the table. No new friendships would be forged at this table tonight, Daniel thought to himself as he pulled out a chair and seated himself.

  He glanced at his watch. There were still fifteen minutes to wait. A long, boring fifteen minutes, since he doubted he’d know anyone at the table, which meant conversation would be held to a bare minimum. At least on his part it would be, as he hated shouting over the noisy crowd in the room just to be heard. Well, so be it. That was fine with him, as he didn’t have time for new friends in his life, anyway. These days, he barely had time to acknowledge his old friends, and on those occasions when he was thrown together with someone from his past it was usually someone he’d related to with Elizabeth.

  Once, he’d lived in a world where his wife had been enough and now, without her, he was afraid he caused everyone around him to be uncomfortable. They didn’t know what to say or how to act since her death. There’d been some invitations to dinner or other activities at first, more out of pity than the genuine desire to entertain him. But he’d always had the graciousness to decline as he didn’t want to cause the ones asking him to feel ill at ease. Besides, he always had the excuse that he had to get home to Maddie.

  Maddie might have been a convenient excuse on more than one occasion, but he truly enjoyed his limited hours with her. Wanted more of them. Envied the time his mother-in-law had with her, the parts of Maddie’s life that he was missing out on.

  “Is this seat taken?” The familiar voice from beside him startled Daniel out of his deep ponderings.

  He looked up, then rose slowly to his feet. “You’re assigned to the notorious singles table, too?” he asked Zoey as he pulled out the chair for her.

  “Is that what this is?”