“What has your mind on overdrive Emily?” Mac asks without opening his eyes.
“Sorry if I woke you.”
Now Mac’s dark eyes are on me. “You didn’t wake me. I have been replaying this night over and over in my mind.”
“What are you thinking Mac?”
“I am the luckiest man in the world. I have a beautiful woman who loves me, and she is giving me a son. Last night was the best night of my life, making love to you while knowing that you are mine.”
Oh God, when he says mine my heart practically leaps from my chest.
“I love you so much Mac. I can’t believe we have wasted so much time.”
Mac leans up onto his elbow and rubs his hand down my face. “I don’t think we have wasted time Emily. Maybe we came together at the right time for us.” He pulls me into his chest, it’s the safest place I’ve ever been, surrounded by his arms, his warm breath on my face and our legs entwined. I have dreamt of this for years.
“Where do we go from here, Mac?” I ask.
He blows out a sigh and shakes his head, a classic Sean MacAlister move when he is baffled.
He isn’t looking at me anymore but staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know Em. It was difficult enough being apart when we were just friends but now with the baby and knowing that you love me, it feels like it’ll be impossible for me to leave.”
I realize that if I let him see how scared I am it will be harder for him to leave. I have to put his sanity above mine. I pull his face back to mine. “Hey, we can do this. You have a job to do, a very important job. I will take care of myself and Shane Patrick.” I say waiting to see if he picks up on what I have said, and he does.
“Shane Patrick?”
“I thought we would name our son Shane Patrick. Shane is the English version of Sean. It means God’s precious gift and Patrick after your father. Of course, unless you don’t like it.”
I see tears well up in his eyes. “I fucking love you.” he says as he kisses me heatedly and my body responds with a throbbing between my legs. He pulls away and I whimper. “And I love the name, it is perfect. Thank you for giving me a son and naming him after me. Shane Patrick MacAlister, what a strong name for a strong little boy.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“I wanted to make sure that even if you and I weren’t together as a couple, our son would be a part of you always. He is a part of you, Mac. Naming him after you is my way of ensuring that everyone knows it.”
“Well I guess we don’t have to worry about not being a couple because sweetheart, you are mine. Do you understand that? I am not asking you, I am telling you.” Mac says in a voice I really haven’t heard him use before, it is beyond sexy. “If you weren’t pregnant Emily, I would tie you to this bed and keep you here until I leave.”
Oh my God. I have never been tied up and right now isn’t the time to start but holy shit, if Mac wants to tie me up after Shane is born, well, I will personally buy him the rope.
“Mac, I understand.”
“I want to hear you say it Emily. Tell me that you are mine.”
I swallow hard, not because it isn’t true but because it is.
“Yes, Mac I am yours. I always have been yours.”
“And I am yours Emily, if you’ll have me.”
It is my turn to shake my head now. “Of course, you are mine Mac, you have been, since we were kids, we just didn’t know it until now.”
I don’t know what takes over me, but I move to straddle Mac. I feel like I am moving a mountain but right now I just need him. I need his touch.
I have never seen anything more beautiful than Emily on top of me. Her body has changed in ways that I did not think was possible. She is a Goddess and I want to worship at her feet for the rest of my life.
Emily and I stay in bed the rest of the day, only getting out to make something to eat, which in her case seems to be every two hours. She has an insatiable appetite for both food and me, you won’t catch me complaining.
As the evening rolls in I can tell that she wants to talk about what comes tomorrow, my leaving. Throughout the day I have caught her with tears in her eyes. She doesn’t think I see her when she announces that she is going to the bathroom. I know that we should talk about what happens next, but I don’t want to stress her out any more than she already is. It’s not good for her or the baby. To my surprise Emily is the first one to bring it up.
“You do know the baby and I will be alright until you can come back, right?” Emily asks. I know she is upset and scared to be alone but here she is trying to reassure me. I will play along and not feed into her fear or mine for that matter.
“Of course, you and Shane will be fine. You have your Dad, my Dad, Chrissy and Daniel to help you.” My chest gets tight pretty quickly because I know that there is a good chance that I will not time my leave to coincide with the birth. “They will make sure that you have anything that you need while I am gone.”
She is busying herself straightening up the living room, not bothering to look at me. I walk over to her and grab the blanket that she is folding. “Hey, look at me. Emily.” She does and this time she lets me see the tears rolling down her cheeks.
I throw the blanket on the chair and hold her face in my hands. Wiping the tears away with my thumbs, I let her know that everything will be ok. “Emily, you have done a perfect job taking care of yourself and the baby. That won’t change now that I am leaving. Yes, it fucking sucks that I have to go, but I will make sure that you and I video chat more often. I want to read to my son and hear all about how much you hate me for what getting you pregnant has done to your body.” She gives me a slight smile and I am relieved a little. I pull her into my arms and she lays her head on my chest. I will miss this, the feel of her body next to mine. She says that I make her feel safe, but she does the exact same thing for me.
She pulls away enough so that she can look at me with her big green eyes. “I’m going to miss you so much. Your coming home was such a blessing. I’m thankful that you were able to spend time with me and the baby.”
Ok, now it is my turn to try and not cry.
“Mac, please be careful when you go back. I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you. I can’t do this by myself.” She begs as she puts her face back into my chest.
“Emily, I have always been careful but knowing that you and my son will be here waiting for me, well, I will be extra careful ok? Nothing will happen to me.”
“You mean like nothing happened to my brother? Because Mac, he told me the same thing.”
I am stunned at her change in tone, and before I can say anything she jumps in.
“I am sorry I said that Mac. That was unfair and uncalled for. I am just scared.” Emily says as she turns to walk away but I grab her by the waist and forcefully pull her back to me.
“I know you are scared that what happened to Jackson will happen to me. Your brother is a hero, he saved several men and because of that children have their fathers back. He loved his job, Emily. We spoke about it a lot, what would happen if one of us did not come back. He knew the risks and he felt it was worth it. What happened to him was an accident and one that I have felt guilty about. That could have been me or any other PJ, but God gave me a chance to come home to you, make this baby with you and love you. I plan to continue to do that until I’m old and gray. So please don’t worry unnecessarily, you have Shane to think about and it won’t do either of you any good to get your blood pressure up.”
“Asking me not to worry is like asking me not to breathe. It’s automatic, Mac. I’ll promise not to let it overwhelm me to the point where it makes me or the baby sick, but that is all I can promise, ok?”
“I’ll take it for now Emily.”
“Look, I have to run over to say goodbye to my Dad and pick up some things. I’ll bring lasagna back from Sweet Lou’s so rest and relax because I may just keep you up all night.” I kiss her on the forehead and leave as fast as I can.
I head to the
bar to say goodbye to everyone and talk to my Dad. I need to make sure that he will look in on Emily while I am gone.
I need to hold myself together. I can’t blame the hormones for how sad I feel although I’m sure there aren’t helping. I don’t want to make Mac feel worse by making him feel guilty for leaving. He has a job to do and I need him to focus on staying safe.
I busy myself by doing some things around the house. Throwing some laundry in, I contemplate changing my bedding, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. The sheets smell like Mac, and I’m not ready to get rid of that just yet.
Walking into the kitchen, I have to pass one of the many pictures I have of my brother. The picture is of him when he was stationed in Okinawa. Picking it up, I remember just how much I miss him and how my life has changed since he died.
Needing a pick me up, I flip the picture over. He always wrote such sweet things to me on the backs of the photos he sent me.
Dear Sis,
This is a picture of orphans visiting us at our base. I wish I could bring them all home. They are the sweetest kids. Perhaps, if I don’t ever find the love of my life, I’ll return here and adopt a few. You would fall in love with them just as I have.
Love,
Jackson
My brother always loved kids, and I know he’d be so excited to be an uncle. Seeing his picture makes me wonder if he will look like Jackson at all. Even though my brother and I aren’t twins we definitely look like we could be.
Mac has been gone for two hours now so I shoot him a text to see how much longer he will be because, who would’ve guessed it, I am hungry again. He didn’t answer right away but when he did he said he’d be about another hour and he would make it worth the wait. Hmmm. I am not sure what that means but if he brings garlic bread with the lasagna it will be worth it. I
I finally get around to doing the dishes from earlier. It was so nice to eat in bed with Mac next to me. He actually fed me and gosh if that was not the biggest turn on. I have to admit that he has ruined me for any other man.
I’m in lost in thought when my phone rings. It’s my Dad’s ringtone.
“Hey Dad.”
“Hi sweetie. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure everything is ok. I know Mac is leaving to go back tomorrow.”
I have to stop reacting the way I do every time I think about it.
“I am ok. I am grateful that he was able to come home for a few days.”
“I know you are Emily, but I also know how sad you used to get when your brother and Mac would leave to go back to base. Being pregnant will make you that much sadder.”
My Dad could always read me and even predict my reactions before I had them.
“I’m sad to see him go but the baby and I are lucky that he is in our lives.”
“I know honey. You two are destined to be together, at least Jackson and I always thought so.”
“Dad, what do you mean Jackson thought that Mac and I would end up a couple?”
“Well sweetie, it has always been apparent to everyone around you two that you were in love with each other. You have always been pretty easy to read Em, you don’t have a poker face when it comes to Mac. As for Mac, why do you think that little shit, Cole Mason stood you up at the homecoming dance?”
“He stood me up because he was an asshole Dad, he had another girlfriend. Where are you going with this?” I ask getting a little frustrated that he and my brother think they know me so well.
“Mac went over to Cole Mason’s house and threatened him if he went to the dance with you. He knew that Cole had another girlfriend over in Tampa and he didn’t want you to get hurt. He also told him that if Cole ever spoke to you again he would regret it. Mac has always loved you Emily, but he never acted on it out of loyalty to Jackson.”
I am floored right now. I was initially devasted when Cole stood me up for the homecoming dance but was later relieved when I found out he had a girlfriend. I just can’t believe that Mac did that for me. It’s weird that I’m not even pissed about it.
“Honey, Mac told me you are naming the baby Shane.”
“He did? When did you talk to him? He has been with me the whole time.” When would Mac have spoken with my Dad? I saw Mac text a few times, but I am sure it was not my father because he doesn’t know how.
My father clears his throat. Usually when this happens he needs to tell me something bad or he is about to tell me a fib. “Oh, Mac just stopped to say goodbye and he told me about the name.”
Well that makes sense I guess.
“Anyway honey, Mac should be there soon. I love you Emily and just remember even though you are starting your own family, you will always be my little girl. Go and enjoy your time with Mac before he leaves. I will call you tomorrow.”
“Oh, Dad. I love you so much. Bye.”
Ok now I am crying like freaking Niagara Falls. Just great!
Pulling into Emily’s driveway I am suddenly a nervous wreck. The conversation with her Dad went well and he gave me his permission to ask Emily to marry me, so why I am so uncertain of her answer. Could it be because she has turned me down before? Oh yeah, that could be it.
Sitting in the car, I just need a minute to focus. I don’t know what I’ll do if she turns me down again. I’m hoping now that she knows that I love her just as much as she loves me, she will say
yes, to being my wife. I have to make sure she knows that this time it isn’t about the insurance, it’s about spending the rest of my life with the woman I love.
I grab the bag of food from Sweet Lou’s and make my way through the front door. It’s as if Emily knows what I have planned for her because the dining room table is set with candles and flowers from her backyard.
She changed from her shorts and t shirt into a sexy sundress that hugs every curve of her pregnant body.
“Hi, I missed you,” she says as she walks to where I am in the kitchen.
I can’t even say anything, so I just kiss her, actually, I kiss the hell out of her. Thank God, she responds with as much fierceness. Emily suddenly pulls away and takes a step back. Before I can ask her if she is ok, she starts to kneel in front of me. I begin to reach for her because I don’t want her to get down on the hard floor.
“Don’t Mac. We only have a little time left and I want to show you how much I love you. I want to do this, right here.” She says with eyes that are filled with want.
Fuck. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable, but I don’t want to deny her either. I take off my shirt, fold it and bend down to put it on the floor. “Here, use this under your knees babe.” Jesus, she is in such a submissive position but right now she is dominating me, and I love it. I could spend the rest of my life having her look at me the way she is right now, like she is starving, and I am a piece of chocolate cake.
It doesn’t take long before she has me over the edge. With my hands in her hair and my head leaning back against the wall, I try to catch my breath. “God, Emily, you make me feel so good.” I say as I look down at her. When I can start to focus, I see her hand between her legs. I kneel in front of her, grabbing her hand. “Oh no you don’t. I will take care of you baby, but first we need to eat.” She grumbles something under her breath as we stand. I can’t hear exactly what she says but I think she wants to kill me.
She gets over her sexual frustration quickly once I start taking the food out of the containers. “I got lasagna, meatballs and garlic bread. I hope you are hungry.”
“Of course I am hungry, I’m awake, aren’t I?” We both laugh and sit down at the table.
“This looks very romantic Em. You did a nice job with the table.” I tell her as I rub her back. I know couples tend to sit across from each other when eating but I prefer to sit closer, next to her. It makes it easier to feed her and touch her.
I thought maybe she would be a little weird about my feeding her, but she seemed to find it sensual. Score one for me.
I missed Mac so much while he was gone, and it was only a few hour
s. I will survive the next few months until I see him again. Seeing him walk through the door with his tight black t shirt and those damn faded jeans that hug his ass perfectly made me lose control.
He is sitting next to me and I can barely contain myself. Is he smirking at me?
“Sean MacAlister, you better wipe that smirk off your face. There isn’t a thing funning about leaving me hanging like that.”
“I’m sorry. I just never pictured you being such horn dog. I thought I was going to have to beg you for sex. And believe me, I would have begged.” He says trying to lighten the mood.
I blow out a breath. “Sorry, I guess I can’t control myself when it comes to you.”
“Hey, I will never complain about that. Let’s finish eating so we can get to the good stuff.” He winks at me and I can’t help but laugh.
The rest of dinner goes quickly, thank goodness.
Mac and I clean up together while making small talk but never addressing the elephant in the room…tomorrow and what comes next. When we are done with the dishes, Mac turns off the kitchen light and takes me by the hand. He leads me into the living room bringing in the candles from the dining room.
He sets the candles on the table next to the sofa where he sits. Mac pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. “It’s time we talk about what happens next Emily.” I nod and snuggle in close hiding my face. I don’t want him to see my sadness.
“Emily, when we first got together the night of Jackson’s funeral I had anticipated that you would think that it was a mistake.”
“Never Mac, being with you was never a mistake.” I say through my sniffles.
“I am glad that you feel that way baby. I have been thinking a lot about my job, being so far away from you and Shane isn’t going to work for me.”
“What are you saying? You can’t just quit.”
I laugh. “No, you are right about that, but I can request to come back to Florida when my assignment is up. There is no guarantee I will get it but there is Hurlburt Air Field in Fort Walton Beach where I can do my job.”
Rescued Hearts Page 9
