I squeal at the thought, kissing his neck and face but he brings me back to reality quickly.
“Emily, even if I can come back it won’t be for two years.”
I need to let him know that I will wait for him as long as it takes. “I can wait two years. I can wait a million just knowing that you love me and want to come back to me.”
He blows out a breath, “I love you so much Em. I love our son too.” He says as he places his hand on my belly. “I want us to be a family.”
“I love you too. Shane will be so lucky to have you as his Daddy.”
Mac cups my chin and tilts my face to his, “And I will be so lucky if you say yes to being my wife. Emily, will you marry me?”
Wait…did he just propose to me?
“What?” I ask looking at him like I did not hear him correctly.
“Emily, last time I asked you to marry me you said no. You said that you only would marry for love. I am going to assume you meant you wanted to marry someone who loved you as much as you loved them.”
“When you suggested we get married Mac you said it was for the insurance and benefits that it would give me and the baby. I had no idea that you loved me,” I say feeling like I must defend myself.
Mac nods, “I know. I wasn’t ready to tell you that I loved you. I guess I was being selfish trying to get the woman that I loved to marry me even though I thought you did not love me in a romantic sense. I want you to be my wife Emily Mills. I love you and Shane more than my own life. I will protect you and worship you for the rest of my life.”
“I love you so much. I didn’t think it was even possible to love you anymore than I did but I do. Yes, Sean MacAlister, I will marry you.”
Mac leans in to kiss me sweetly and we make love until the morning.
The alarm on my phone rings waking me from my haze. I did not sleep very much because I had the sexiest woman in my arms all night. We made love, talked about the baby and what type of wedding she wanted.
I look over at Emily’s face. For now, she looks relaxed, but I know that will change once she wakes. I know her well enough to anticipate a happy front for my benefit. She won’t want me to worry about her sadness. Part of me feels relieved that I won’t be alone in my misery. The other part of me feels guilty for making her sad but I have no choice.
Once I return to base, I’ll make sure there is a plan in place to protect her and the baby should anything happen to me. I know that Jackson provided some insurance money for her and her children, but it is my responsibility now.
Emily starts to stir so I pull her in closer. “Good morning sweetheart.” I say as I kiss her temple.
She slowly opens her eyes and gives me a guarded smile. “Good morning.”
“I am going to go make some coffee for me. Are you hungry?” I ask trying to distract her.
“Not yet,” she says and pulls me to her.
Morning sex with a pregnant Emily is sleepy and slow. Her eyes never leave mine, and her hands never stop touching me. I know what she is doing because I am thinking it too. We are memorizing each other so when we are apart, we don’t forget.
She is back in my arms and I can feel her tears falling on my bare chest. I swallow knowing that our time together is ending, at least for now.
“Em, baby, I have to get up and get ready to head to the airport.” She pulls me tighter. I respond by kissing her head and rubbing her back. “Emily, there are things I need you to do for me, ok?”
“Ok,” she looks up at me and nods. Good. I need to keep her busy until I can come back.
“I want you to start planning the wedding. I need you to focus on staying healthy for Shane. I also want you to check in on my Dad occasionally. I know he says he is ok, but I see how standing all day has affected him. He isn’t as strong as he used to be.”
“I’ll do all of those things Mac if you do one thing for me,” she looks me right in the eye.
“What’s that babe?” I ask knowing what she is going to say.
She takes my face in her hands and gets so close that our noses are almost touching. “You get your ass home to me as soon as you can.”
I chuckle, “You got it Em.”
Watching Mac pack to leave is breaking my heart, but I try to put on a brave façade. My nervousness shows through the bouncing of my leg. It’s a habit I’ve tried to break but obviously I’ve been unsuccessful.
I sit on the edge my bed as he gathers his stuff. He doesn’t have much to do since he has only been home a few days. “I’ll be right back,” he says as he leaves my room and goes into the hallway. He comes back with a picture in his hand.
“May I take this with me?” He asks. It is a picture of me when I was five. I am at the beach with my family making a sandcastle. It still is one of my favorite things to do.
“Of course, you can have i,” I say as he leans in for a kiss.
“I have always loved this picture of you. You in your cute little bathing suit with your chubby belly sticking out.”
“Hey, I couldn’t help it. I liked cookies ok,” I say with a giggle.
“I wonder if Shane will inherit my cookie obsession.” Now we both laugh but it doesn’t last long. Mac glances at his phone to check the time and I know we have to get to the airport soon.
I stand up walking over to him, I place my hands up on his shoulders. “I know you have to leave and I promise not to make it harder on you. Jackson used to tell me it wasn’t just difficult for the family being left behind but it was just as hard for you.”
“It has been difficult in the past, but this time it is damn near impossible.” Mac says as he pulls me in for a hug. “I love you with everything that I am Emily. Please always remember that.”
Not wanting to attempt to speak, I nod to let him know that I will.
We get into the car and the ride to the airport is quiet. There are so many things I want to say to Mac before he leaves but I just don’t have the time.
Unfortunately, the Tampa airport is fairly close, so it doesn’t take us to long to arrive. Mac parks my car in the lot so that I can go with him while he checks in. He holds my hand while we stand in line waiting for his turn. He smiles down at me, “Everything will be fine. I will send you an email to let you know that I am back in England. Ok?”
“I know you will, but I can’t help but miss you already,” I tell him while trying to contain a sob.
We move through the line too quickly.
I glance ahead of us and the security checkpoint is straight ahead. This is where we have to say our goodbyes. I am praying that this doesn’t kill me.
Mac places his bag on the floor and takes my hands into his. “I love you Em and I can’t wait to have this little family,” he places his hands on my belly.
“Holy shit,” he yells, and people turn to look at us. “What the hell was that?”
I giggle, “Well Daddy that was your son telling you to come home quickly.”
“Oh my God, that was incredible.” He pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear, “Thank you for being mine and giving me a son. I promise that I will cherish both of you for the rest of my life.”
“Mac, you are making it impossible for me to let you go,” I say with a laugh. Wiping my tears, I do the only thing I can. I let him go.
“Go on Mac, as much as I would love for you to miss your plane, I don’t think the government would approve,” I say with a smile that he knows is fake.
“You are right. They tend to get pissy when someone doesn’t report back to base,” he says trying to smile.
“Come here.”
I hug him one last time and squeeze him tightly.
“Take care of yourself and our son. I’ll be back before you know it.” I’m not sure who he is trying convincing more, him or me.
“I love you Mac.”
“Love you more Emily.”
He lets me go, grabs his bag and makes his way through security. He never once looks back. Ten minutes later, I am still standing here. I
am not sure what I am waiting for. Maybe I am afraid if I leave I will forget what he looks like.
I finally drag myself out of the airport and into my car. Placing my head and hands on the steering wheel I ask God to help me get through these next few months. I ask him for a safe pregnancy and birth. I ask him to watch over and protect Mac and to bring him back to me safely.
The car ride home seems to take twice as much time as it did going to the airport. I have to remind myself not to cry too hard while driving so I can see the rode and make it home.
I get home an hour later. Walking through the front door I feel like a zombie. I throw my car keys onto the counter, grabbing a glass of water, I head into my bedroom where I can get into bed and wallow for the day.
I undress and throw on one of Mac’s favorite t shirts that I took from him. He was ok with it because thinking about me wearing it turned him on. I pull back the covers to get in, rolling over to me side I snuggle my face into the pillow that Mac used so I can smell him. I wrap my arms around the pillow and I feel something under it.
I move up and rest on my arm, pulling out a piece of paper.
Glancing down at it, I can tell it is Mac’s handwriting. A letter, he left me a letter. I rub my hand over his writing. Tears are already forming as I try to read it.
Emily,
I was going to write you a sappy love letter, but I thought that would only make you feel sadder. So instead, I thought I would leave you with a funny story about me and Jackson.
You know what a jokester Jackson was. He was always pranking people on the base. Well one time someone got him back, me. Jackson was out on a date with some local girl in England named Bobby but apparently, she spelled it Bobbie. I grabbed my buddies phone, a number that Jackson would not recognize, and I texted him.
I was asking if he knew the girl he was on the date with was really a guy. You would not believe the series of text messages I got back from him while he was on his date. Of course, he wanted to know who I was, how did I know he was out with her and how did I know she was a guy.
I could hear his panic through the text messages. I responded with one-word answers so to keep him on the hook. I figured he would just make up some story about having to leave the date and come back to base. I never thought he would actually ask the girl if she was really a guy. But he did, and she gave him an angry slap across the face.
Needless to say, she left and never spoke with him again.
When he returned early to base I asked him how his date with Robert was. Well, let’s just say that the slap he received was nothing compared to the right hook I did.
I felt remorse for what I did but he certainly got me back, he told me you were engaged to Sonny Meyers. You remember him? He was the local pot head who hung around the high school trying to sell to the students. As you can imagine I was pissed and jealous. Pissed because I knew that you were better than him and jealous that I was not him.
I knew at that moment Jackson knew about my feelings for you. Why else would he make me think that?
That was the last prank he pulled on me. I think he saw how devastated I was. You and Sonny Meyers? I can’t believe I fell for it.
I hope this leaves you with a little smile remembering the fun that we had. Please don’t be sad that I had to go back. Be happy that we have finally found each other and because we are starting our journey together as a family, you, me and Shane.
See you soon!
All my love,
Mac
I know this was his attempt to get my mind off the desolation that I feel, and I love him for trying but it is going to take a lot more than that to make me smile today.
Back on base, my thoughts are consumed by Emily and Shane. My buddies are happy for me knowing how much I’ve talked to them about Emily. They encouraged me to shit or get off the pot when it came to her. They told me to man up and tell her how I felt, especially now that we were having a child together.
My mind drifts to the future when I see myself taking Shane fishing and building those sandcastles that Emily loves. I turn to look at the picture of Emily that I took from her house when I hear an email come through. Hoping that it is from Emily, I open my account. It’s from Daniel.
Mac,
Hey man. I just wanted to let you know that I ran into Emily today. She looked good, a little tired but good. I promised you that I will look after her while you are gone, and I meant it. You and Jackson helped me get through the divorce with Serena and it is my turn to pay you both back. Anyway, I just wanted to reassure you that she is ok.
Stay safe buddy,
Daniel
I have to rely on Daniel to look after Em while I am gone, and it frustrates the fuck out of me. I know he will do a good job making sure she has what she needs. I rub my hands over my face and then through my hair. Fuck. I miss the shit out of her.
Just as I am about to reply to his email, I get a call. I hate when I hear my work ringtone because that means someone is in trouble.
Three months later…
Over the last few months, Mac and I have exchanged emails and video chats. I still miss him like crazy but each day I get more used to the distance. We attempted to have video chat sex, but I could not take it seriously. I think he was a bit annoyed when I started to giggle. I certainly did not feel sexy while doing it, I need to physically feel him.
Mac did read to the baby each time he called me. They were the sweetest moments. He always asks me what he has missed since the last time we spoke. I tell him about how I can’t control my bodily fluids. I pee when I laugh, or cough and my boobs have taken on a life of their own. I can’t bend over to tie my shoes or lay comfortably on my side, and I wouldn’t change any of it.
Being thirty-two weeks pregnant now, I have put the nursery together with help from Chrissy and Daniel. Thank God for Daniel or else my Dad would have had to do the heavy lifting. We put the crib together even though Shane will spend the first few months in my room in the bassinet.
The nursery is blue and white with lots of stuffed animals and books. Shane’s closet is complete with all sorts of clothes. I love shopping for him and even Mac has sent some things from England.
Mac is planning to come home in four weeks. We are hoping that we time it correctly for the birth. I told him to wait until Shane is born to be sure, but he was not happy about that. If I am being honest, the thought of giving birth without Mac here scares me.
I’ve been keeping myself busy with work, although I have cut back in the last few weeks. Chrissy and I have gone for pedicures and to look at my feet you would think that I have an elephant in my belly.
My doctor said that my blood pressure was a little high and I needed to relax and take it easy, so I’ve been trying to stay off my feet as not get stressed out about much. Chrissy and I even went to the beach last week. I made myself buy a maternity bathing suit and I made her promise not to take a picture of me in it. If Mac thought I was chubby in the picture he took back to England, he sure as shit would think I looked like a house now.
Getting my dinner together, there is a knock at my door.
I turn the stove off and answer the front door. I am not expecting anyone, so I look out the living room window first, so I can see who it is. Standing on my front step are my Dad and Mac’s father. They are friends, but it is a little strange that they show up at my house together.
Opening the door, I start to ask what they are both doing here but then I see their faces and I know something is wrong, and then it hits me.
“No, no, no, oh God no, please tell me Mac is ok. Please!” I scream grabbing my stomach, holding onto my son. My father and Patrick are trying to hold me up on either side, but I slide to the floor and the room goes black.
The day before…
My team and I are called out to rescue a Navy pilot who ejected over Libya due to mechanical issues with his jet. While we aren’t at war with Libya, politically speaking it is a hotbed for terrorists. We have to move quickly in o
rder to ensure his safety.
We have the coordinates for the pilot. It is just before 2:00 am local time and the area is covered in complete darkness. Our team is made up of six PJs, we fast rope out of the helicopter a little more than two klicks away from our target.
We are lucky that the pilot landed in an area of grassland since most of the country is desert. This type of terrain provides for better cover.
We are moving quickly but quietly. As we get closer to the target, we can hear voices. I make sure that I my M4 is locked and loaded at the ready. Before we can decipher what is being said, shots ring out and everything goes black.
It’s so difficult to open my eyes. I struggle against the sounds of people around me. As I start to focus on the brightness of the lights, I hear so many voices I don’t recognize. Someone is calling my name.
“Emily, can you hear me?” A disembodied voice asks.
I nod, “Yes. Who are you?”
“Emily, I am Dr. Langdon. I am an OB doctor. You are in the hospital. You collapsed at your house. Do you remember anything?” She asks.
Then it all comes rushing back to me. Mac.
“My fiancé, he is in the Air Force. I don’t know if he is ok, oh God.” I start to sit up. “Where is my father?” I look around frantically.
“Emily, look at me; you need to calm down. Your Dad is out in the waiting room. I will bring him in soon but first we need to talk.”
I can feel my heart pounding. Mac. Is he ok? Has he left me like Jackson did? Tears start to well in my eyes.
Alarms start to go off. Dr. Langdon looks over at the monitor then to me. “Emily, we need to do an emergency C-section. Your blood pressure is too high, and we can’t bring it down. It is causing distress to your baby. Do you understand what I am telling you?”
“You can’t take the baby. It is too early.” I sob to her. “Please, give me something more for my blood pressure. Shane is too little to be delivered.” I am begging her not to take my son.
Rescued Hearts Page 10
