The Big Book of Boy Stuff

by Bart King

  Stare Down

  You know how this one goes . . .

  You Need:

  4 eyes

  2 players

  How to win: Don’t move your face or head.

  How to play: Begin a staring match with someone. Here are 4 ways to do it:

  Whoever blinks first, loses. This can be painful. (No fair trying to make the other person flinch!)

  Whoever smiles first, loses.

  Whoever looks away first, loses.

  Whoever’s eyes fall out of their sockets from staring so hard, loses.

  Sweden has an unusual athletic event: The National Sauna Championships. This event takes place in a 212 degree Fahrenheit steam bath. A woman champion, Hilkka Loimi, lasted four minutes and 28 seconds in the sauna. When asked for a comment, she said, “It was hot.”

  Ha, Ha, Ha

  Ha, Ha, Ha! is the stupidest game that exists. Give it a shot!

  You Need:

  laughs

  3 or more players

  How to win: Don’t laugh.

  How to play: Have a prize for the winner. This helps. Then get in a circle or around a table. Figure out who’s going to go first. Go clockwise from there.

  The first player says, “Ha.” The second player says, “Ha, ha.” The third player says, “Ha, ha, ha.” (I know this sounds stupid. It is!) And so forth. Keep going around, adding one “Ha” to each turn.

  Say the word “Ha” as seriously as possible. Any player who laughs or gets the wrong number of “Ha”s is out. You can make faces or act weird to try to get someone else to laugh. You may not touch them or say anything.

  Arm Wrestling

  Yeah, you know how to arm wrestle. But do you know how to WIN?

  You Need:

  arms, hands

  2 players, but having a third person as a referee is a good idea

  How to win: Push the other person’s arm down.

  How to play: First of all, the key to winning in arm wrestling is not who is stronger. It’s who knows what they’re doing. You can beat boys much bigger and stronger than you with these tips. Impress your friends! Impress some girls! Read this!

  If you are going to arm wrestle, you may be standing or kneeling at a table or lying down. If you are standing or kneeling, remember: Have the foot (or knee) that is on the same side as the arm you are wrestling with more forward than the other. In other words, stagger your feet to the side you’re wrestling on. If there is a table leg, try to get this foot up against it on the inside. Brace your leg against the table leg.

  Okay, now it’s time to wrap hands. Grab your opponent’s hand, palm to palm. Get your thumb in there nice and tight. Many champions “wrap” their thumb, which means your fingers cover your thumb. You may want to experiment with this. (With your off hand, you should link hands with your opponent on the tabletop right underneath this hold.)

  Brace your body and get a good grip. Try to keep your upper arm as close to your body as you can. Have a referee hold the fists of you and your opponent and count to three. No pulling until then. On “three,” twist your opponent’s hand around so that the back of his hand faces you and then pull! He is now out of position.

  After you get your twist, keep your hand, wrist, arm, and body moving together. Many people make the mistake of using their arms to arm wrestle. Your arm and body working together are much more powerful than just your arm. Keep your fist inside the line of your shoulders. Even if you start to lose, keep your arm against your body. In other words, lean back with it. The moment you let your arm fight by itself, you’ll lose.

  The match is over when you can press your opponent’s hand down against the table or when he “gives.” If you can get a good start and wear him down, you can win even a long match. Use these techniques. They work!

  Rock, Paper, Scissor, Victory

  You Need:

  A hand

  two players

  How to win: Outsmart your slow-witted opponent!

  How to play: You should already know! You may have heard of this game under a different name, like “Roshambo.” Anyway, look your opponent in the eyes. Each of you hold out a fist. Together, you raise and lower your fist three times as you count out “One, two, three!” or “Ro, sham, bo!”

  As you bring down your fist the third time, you either keep your fist clenched (ROCK!), spread it flat (PAPER!), or make a sideways “peace sign” (SCISSORS!). Who wins? It’s pretty basic. Rock crushes scissors, but scissors cuts paper. And paper covers rock!

  The key to winning? Throw your opponent off with your creative moves. Try doing three rocks in a row. (That move is called the “Avalanche!”) Or make the game more interesting by betting a million dollars on the game.

  *The World RPS (Rock, Paper, Scissors) Society holds a yearly tournament. About a thousand people compete in it and the winner gets a thousand dollars!

  Educated Elwood

  Simple Simon is a little too...simple. This game was taken from an alternate universe where everything is reversed! In this universe, they do not play Simple Simon; they play Educated Elwood. When Elwood says to do something, the players are supposed to do the opposite of what he says.

  You Need:

  your brain

  4 or more players

  How to win: Be perfectly disobedient to Elwood.

  How to play: This is a simple game, but one that requires Elwood to be very watchful.

  Pick a leader. He is Elwood. Elwood will give everyone directions. If he says, “Jump in the air!” the players shouldn’t do anything. The leader has to say, “Elwood says, ‘Jump in the air!’”

  Then the players still don’t jump in the air. Instead, they stand still, because standing still is the opposite of jumping. You have to be creative as you think of what the opposite of a direction is. If the leader says, “Elwood says, ‘Puff out your cheeks and meow like a cat,’” then the players should suck in their cheeks and bark like a dog!

  Remember: In this game, you are knocked out for following directions.

  When Abraham Lincoln was shot in 1865, Vice President Andrew Johnson had to be notified that he was now the new president of the United States. When they found Johnson to tell him this very important news, he was playing with marbles.

  Eskimo-Indian Games

  The World Eskimo-Indian Games are held regularly. They have kept alive American games that have been around for many years. Here are some of them.

  The Bump

  In this game, you will destroy your opponent! (Or at least make him take a step!)

  You Need:

  2 players

  How to win: Knock your opponent off balance.

  How to play: The Bump can be played two ways. In one version you stand side-to-side with your opponent, facing the same way, about 6 to 8 inches apart. When the signal is given, you try to knock your opponent off balance by hitting him with your hip. (If you play hockey, this is a “hip check.”) If you can get your opponent to lift or move a foot, you win.

  The other version of the Bump is played the same way, but you stand back-to-back at the same distance. On the signal, use your butt to knock him off balance! Size and weight are less important than you think; often you can fake out your opponent by bending out of his way when he is trying to get you, which throws him off balance.

  Muktuk Eating

  “Muktuk” is raw whale skin. It is very rubbery! Contestants try to be the first to chew and swallow a 2-inch cube of muktuk in the least amount of time.

  Mouth Pull

  Standing side-by-side with an opponent, the contestant reaches around his opponent’s shoulders with his hand. He then puts his hand in his opponent’s mouth. (The opponent does the exact same thing.) Play begins as they try to pull each other off balance. (Hand washing is required and no tongue-pulling is allowed!)

  Ear Weight

  Loop a piece of twine around your ear. At the other end place 16 pounds of weight. Now start moving and see how far you get before the pain gets the bett
er of you. (Good contestants can go over 1/2 of a mile.)

  Who Dat?

  A guessing game for sports stars!

  You Need:

  a bunch of sports magazines you don’t mind cutting up

  2 or more players

  How to win: Guess whose body is whose.

  How to play: The idea of this game is quite simple. Each person should grab some sports magazines and clip out the pictures of sports stars. Only cut out the person’s body, though, not their head! (If their name is on their uniform, cut that out also.) Write the name of the athlete on the back of the picture.

  Once everyone has about ten pictures, you hold up one of your pictures. Whoever can guess it correctly first wins a point. Now that I think of it, the people you cut out don’t have to be sports stars if there are other celebrities you’d like to use. Just don’t cut up the family photo album!

  Name That Tune

  It is pretty amazing how quickly a person can identify a song; sometimes in just a note or two, you know what song is being played.

  You Need:

  CDs or MP3s of popular music

  a CD player or computer that can play CDs or MP3s

  3 or more players; teams can also be used easily for this game

  How to win: Name that tune!

  How to play: One player (called the “Tune Master”) selects a song that the other players will probably know. The Tune Master then decides which of the other contestants will “Name That Tune” first. Only the one player (or team) selected guesses on the song. The more obvious the song (for example, “Happy Birthday”), the less of it should be played, sometimes only a second or two.

  What that means is that the contestant will listen to a short part of the song and then try to “Name that Tune” by saying the name of the song. If the selected player identifies the song correctly, he gets a point, and the Tune Master picks a new song for the other contestants. If the selected player doesn’t get the song right, the song is “pushed” to the next contestant. If this player gets it, he gets the point. The same amount of the song should be played; no more! If no player can identify the song, it is discarded, and the Tune Master moves on to new songs.

  The role of Tune Master should be rotated every complete round.

  Scrabble was invented by an out-of-work architect named Alfred Mosher Butts in the early 1930s. Butts called his game “Lexiko,” and he eventually sold the rights for his game to someone else. In 1948, his game was renamed Scrabble and it sold well. As a matter of fact, more than 100 million Scrabble games have been sold since then. It’s the best-selling board game in the world.

  Tabletop Football

  A classic! Here’s how to make the football and the rules.

  You Need:

  1 piece of paper

  2 players, but you can have a tournament with more

  a table

  something with a straight edge (like a book)

  How to win: Score by flicking the ball so it overhangs the edge of the table.

  How to make the football: Get a piece of paper. Fold it in half the long way. Cut along the fold. (You should now have a narrow strip of paper.) Hold the paper up (the tall way) and fold the top right corner down to the other side to form a triangle. Continue to fold in this way, making triangles until you run out of paper to fold. Tuck the extra paper into the “pocket” on the top of the ball. I like to put tape on the edges; it makes the football heavier and more deadly.

  How to play: Decide how many points you and your opponent will play to (I like to say 35 points). Face your opponent across the table. The table should be narrow enough that you can at least almost reach the far side of it. Put the football down at your side of the table (within 4 inches of your edge) and flick it toward your opponent’s end zone (the edge of the table).

  If your shot is short of the edge of the table, it is now your opponent’s turn to flick the ball at your end zone. If your shot goes over the edge and off of the table, your opponent picks it up and flicks the ball to your side of the table.

  But if your shot overhangs the edge of the table without going over, that’s a touchdown (six points)! If there is any argument over whether the ball is hanging over, use the book. Slide it straight across the edge of the table; if it hits the ball, it’s a score.

  If you scored a touchdown, now it’s time for the extra point. Take the ball back. Your opponent will set up the goalposts. Hold the ball on end with the long side facing you and flick it! If it goes between the fingers of the goalposts, that’s another point. Special Bonus: Sometimes you can even hit your opponent in the face while doing this.

  You can change these rules! One common change is allowing four chances (like in real football) when driving the ball. Also, you can try giving the opponent a chance to cancel a touchdown: When the ball is overhanging the table, the defender (person scored on) flicks the corner of the football hanging over. If the ball flies through the air and hits the other person, the touchdown is cancelled.

  Ping-Pong (or table tennis) was invented by an engineer named James Gibb in the 1880s. He wanted a lively game that he could play inside when it was raining. Gibb called his game Gossima. It was originally played with balls made from champagne corks and paddles made from cigar-box lids! After Gossima was renamed “Ping-Pong” in 1901, it became a big hit.

  Liars’ Dice

  If you can lie, play this game. If you can’t lie, you’re a liar, so play this game!

  You Need:

  5 dice

  a cup that isn’t glass

  3 to 12 players

  How to win: Lie or catch someone else in a lie.

  How to play: First, you need to know that “dice” is a plural (meaning more than one) word. The word “die” means just one of these rolling cubes. Second, you need to know the winning dice rolls. They are similar to poker, but easier, because unlike playing cards, there are no suits or face cards to worry about with dice.

  Below is a ranking of dice rolls from weakest to strongest: Remember, you can’t just tie the previous hand, you must beat it!

  Rolls Lowest possible Highest possible

  High Die! (one number only) One Six

  One Pair! (a pair of numbers) Pair of Ones (snake eyes!) Pair of Sixes

  Two Pair! (two pairs of numbers) Pair of Ones and Twos Pair of Fives and Sixes

  Three of a Kind! (three of the same number) 3 Ones 3 Sixes

  Two Pair! (two pairs of numbers) Pair of Ones and Twos Pair of Fives and Sixes

  Straight! (five numbers in order) One, Two, Three, Four, Five Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

  Full House! (three of one number, two of another) 3 Ones and 2 Twos 3 Sixes and 2 Fives

  Four of a Kind! (four of the same number) 4 Ones 4 Sixes

  Five of a Kind! (five of the same number) 5 Ones 5 Sixes

  Seat your group around a table. Figure out what direction you’re going in and pick someone to go first. Player One rolls the dice, covering the cup with his hands as he turns the cup over. Player One looks at the dice. Since he is going first, he doesn’t have to beat anyone else’s roll. He says “A pair of fours.” Player Two takes the cup. Player Two has a decision to make: If he thinks Player One is a liar, he says “Liar!” and lifts the cup up to show everyone the roll. If it IS what Player One said (a pair of fours), then Player Two is out. If it ISN’T what Player One said, then Player One is out! He’s a liar and he got caught. He’s not out because he’s a liar; he’s out because he got caught. (Just like real life!)

  But Player Two thinks Player One is telling the truth, so he says, “I believe you” and picks up the cup and the dice. Now it doesn’t matter if Player One was lying or not. Even if he was, Player Two must now roll and beat what Player One said his roll was. (In this case, he must beat a pair of fours.)

  Player Two rolls the dice and secretly looks at them. Rats! He only rolled a pair of twos. It’s time to lie! Player Two looks at Player Three and says, “I have a pair of sixes.” This is a lie, but Player T
hree doesn’t know this. He now has to decide what to do.

  And so it goes. Each player must decide if the player before him is telling the truth. If he thinks the player is lying, the dice are revealed and somebody is out. If he thinks the player is telling the truth, he must then roll and beat the roll. Just remember that there are no ties. You can’t get the same thing as the person in front of you. (If you do, change the roll in your mind and lie.)

  Last thing: If someone is knocked out, the next player to get the dice does not have to beat anything. Your best strategy in this game is to be a good liar and to spot other people when they lie. Work at it and you’ll improve.

  Always Guess Tails! If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The “heads” side of the coin weighs slightly more, so it ends up on the bottom. Dice work on a similar idea. You are very slightly more likely to roll a “six” because of the six indented holes on the side of the die. The side opposite of the six is the “one,” which is the heaviest side. Maybe that’s why “snake eyes” are bad luck; it is the least likely dice roll there is.

  The Ace of Spades

  The Ace of Spades is a simple game that involves catching a secret assassin!

  You Need:

  a deck of cards

  6 or more players

  How to win: If you are the “assassin,” you want to assassinate everyone.